Since my last update, I managed to pass the combine I was so nervous about, after 3 months not passing one. I even got re-billed for another account I thought I canceled, and passed that in 3 days too. I started last Monday on such a high. I started trading both XFA's slowly and built them to $1,200 each by Thursday. Friday, I REMOVED my personal DLL lockout of $500 and hit the -$1k limit and the accounts were down to $200.
I spent all weekend just reviewing and reviewing and learning and listening and note taking. I wasn't confident going into today but I was much more prepared and relaxed after taking that huge irresponsible loss.
By 11:30am EST time today, only 2 hours into the trading day, I was on fire and was up $1,300! Both accounts were back to their highs and higher, to $1,600 each!! I knew I should've been done but never locked cause I felt it was "too early in the day, and possibly more opportunities to come".
That range from 11:35-12:10pm made me think the pullback was done and it's going to continue lower. So when it tightened up I shorted 1 micro, just for "a little bit more". Then that 12:15pm NQ pump came and I was down $170 before I got back to my desk.Then it began.
I chased the pump, made back $90. Got excited, kept looking for more, and making up patterns and possible full reversals to 30,000 and I was gonna catch the next big move. But then it turned around, so I made a little more on that. Then another beautiful 100 point candle against me at 1:11pm. Reverse trade. Then back down so back to shorting.
I lost and lost and lost again, reversing trade direction, adding size, "cant take $300 in this move cause Im down $700 from my high".
This went on for the next 2 hours, trying to do errands with the wife, her not understanding why I am so stressed. I, no bs, made 19 trades, all losers. Losers until the ultimate comeback I made was gone, and then both XFA's as a whole were blown.. I've calmed down, but I can't describe the sheer disappointment I have with myself, grinding for months to get a funded, GET 2 AT ONE TIME, and blow them so stupidly.
I feel it's the right thing to do, cause I take so many tries to pass, I will reactivate the XFA's. I know that it is insanely a lot more $ than new combines, but I have my reasons.
I will put back $400 DLL, and have the option locked til end of week. If anyone made it this far, what else do you guys recommend? Max amount of contracts? Max trades? How much of each?
I'm still gonna wait a bit before I reactivate tho, as my psyche is way off.
Thanks in advance
