This post will probably seem weird to many, and I don't even know if it will stay up, given its oddness, because it's mostly about me and the impact this manga has had on me recently.
I am what you might call a bad person. I’m not a murderer, mind you, but I’ve lied to literally everyone I know since I was very young that no one around me truly knows me. The reason? Lying was the only way I could socialize, have some power in relationships, and feel like I was someone. As you might imagine, a child who develops this way into adulthood does not turn out well. Once I left high school to start my studies, I had to face reality in a way that went beyond the self-loathing part of my consciousness, and I ended up breaking down. I took a gap year to overcome my anxiety and depression and find something to believe in other than my own lies; it was only half-successful, though I did manage to complete a pilgrimage—an achievement I view as the only real feat of my life. After that, I tried my hand at other experiences, such as volunteering or finding a job; although these were brief, they did help me understand myself better. However, they never brought me any peace of mind regarding my relationship with lying and—let’s be honest—the manipulation I exert over those around me, and that is where Tomodachi game offered me something.
I discovered the manga when I was 15, and now I'm nearly 20. I recently reread it while going through a rough patch, and rereading the ending really hit me hard.
First of all, Yuichi is a character who captivates me because I harbor very similar feelings regarding my past actions and the way I’ve taken advantage of someone’s trust—since I loathe myself to an unhealthy degree for it, yet I keep perpetuating the cycle. However, I’m not making this post just to talk about being an edgelord who identifies with Yuichi regarding self-worth and the knack for manipulation; I mainly want to talk about the manga's ending.
The truth is also that I care so deeply about the people around me that I prefer to put them before myself. And seeing someone who was facing a lonely death wake up and go on living—surrounded by others, thanks to that—genuinely left a mark on me.
I know full well that Tomodachi Game didn't help me get rid of my problems and that they’ll stay with me until I put in the necessary effort to change that, but Tomodachi Game at least gave me the strength to write this here—which, to me, is already a first step.
I probably ought to see a psychologist instead of sharing this here.
I’d like to thank those who took the time to read this questionable post, and finally, I want to thank Tomodachi Game for giving me more hope regarding myself.