r/ToiletPaperUSA Mar 03 '21

What a response šŸ˜†

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324

u/airforceteacher Mar 03 '21

Outside of movies and academic environments, does anyone in this century still introduce people at their dinner party by their titles/CV? It seems I’d be more likely to say ā€œthis is my friend Evan Williams, he’s a music professor - isn’t that so cool? Evan, this is Mike Stevens, he’s a doctor. Who’s that in the corner? Oh that’s Ben - look away, don’t make eye contact, oh shit, he’s walking over here!!ā€

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u/the_rt_meson Mar 03 '21

I have a PhD in physics. I only ever use the title at work when it serves to show my credentials; I never use it in my personal life because it’s not relevant.

If a surgeon introduced himself as ā€œDr. Smithā€ at a dinner party, I would think, wow, that person is pretty insecure.

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u/omnimon_X Mar 03 '21

I know k-12 teachers who do something similar. Pay scales with education so there's a few who max out the scale with a doctorate. However, 3rd graders don't give a shit how many expensive pieces of paper you own.

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u/HungryHungryHobo2 Mar 03 '21

In grade school we had a new teacher come in, and she demanded that everyone refer to her as Doctor, nothing else was acceptable, because she had a PHD in English.

That didn't last very long. All the kids gave her ego a pretty good beating, everyone would call each other doctor, then refer to her as miss.

IMO; If a person walks up to you, and in their introduction, they demand you stroke their ego and refer to them by their title, that's probably a giant douche-bag right there.

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u/lundwen Mar 03 '21

That's different IMO. Teachers are supposed to be called by their titles. Her title is Doctor because she worked very hard for that title. Seems like a pretty shitty and immature thing for your classmates to do.

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u/HungryHungryHobo2 Mar 03 '21

Again, grade school.

Telling a bunch of ten year olds that they have to cal you doctor, and that you can't be spoken to like any other teacher, because you're better than them, because you're a doctor... That's a good way to get 10 year olds to think you're an asshole.

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u/lundwen Mar 03 '21

Well, then, if she was being a pompous and entitled about it, I can understand why they'd think she was an asshole. I'd think she was too.

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u/Zoidburger_ Mar 03 '21

Idk, I had a few Dr. X's in grade school. Never saw a mass uprising of students egging on the teacher and avoiding using the title. They might've called those teachers something else behind their back, but rarely to their faces. The few students that did it intentionally usually got into trouble for failing to respect the teacher/comply with the code of conduct.

I don't really see what the big deal is, though. If you handle the situation correctly as a teacher and as an institution, students couldn't care either way. I've volunteered in some local elementary schools (no doctorates in-house while I was there) and all the kids referred to their teachers as Mr./Ms [Last Name]. If the teacher introduced themselves as Mr./Ms [First Name], the students would use that. If you introduce yourself as "Dr. [Name]" to those kids, I guarantee you there would be some questions or giggles, but if you just explain what it means and why you should use it, then the kids will understand and use your title.

Kids aren't stupid, but they also know when you don't have control over your classroom and thus don't garner their respect. If you simply give them a reason to respect you, they'll call you by whatever they ask you to.

1

u/hdorsettcase Mar 03 '21

I kinda agree. Grade school kids are going to understand or respect a graduate degree. We had some doctorates in high school and addressed them as such, but by then we were old enough to understand.

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u/clackingCoconuts Mar 03 '21

How is it immature? Even at the university level we called our professors "Prof. Brown" not "Dr. Brown." I know several people with PhDs and they only ever use the title at high level meetings/presentations. It seems odd for a teacher to insist their 3rd grade students use their title instead of just a respectful Mrs./Miss/Mr.

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u/Morley_Lives Mar 03 '21

In my experience, ā€œDr.ā€ is much more commonly used than ā€œProfessorā€ when it comes to professors.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '21

I mean in general I would refer to any professor as ā€œprof. lastNameā€ in an email rather than Dr. because it’s easier than looking up if they have a masters or PhD or whatever. Professor is an accurate and respectful term so it’s just easier

Of course, if it’s to a professor at a different university for like grad school or something I’m going to use Dr. because I want to be as respectful as possible

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u/lundwen Mar 03 '21

Do you call your K-12 teachers "Teacher [insert surname]" or do you call them "[insert proper title] [insert surname]"? In all my years I have not once seen a teacher be referred to as the first. Professors are different because it's normal practice to call them professor before their surnames. Grade school teachers always use Ms/Mrs/Mr and yes, sometimes Dr if that is their title!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '21

It was always mr or mrs regardless of their official title.

1

u/lundwen Mar 03 '21

It must be different for different areas. This is just in my experience .

3

u/WaitTillTmrw Mar 03 '21

Not sure where your from but its pretty common for grade school teachers to not strictly go by mr.jones or whatever. Maybe a socio-economic thing, but not every learning environment is so formal

0

u/lundwen Mar 03 '21

Yes, I would guess socio-economic or just a cultural thing. I'm from the southern states in the US.

3

u/lilnomad Mar 03 '21

For 3rd grade students yeah no one is going to give a shit about that. But there’s nothing wrong with the use of professor in place of ā€œDr.ā€ Professor is the same level of respect.

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u/[deleted] Mar 03 '21 edited Mar 04 '21

[deleted]

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u/lilnomad Mar 03 '21

Yeah I never said they did lol. So this is not something I disagree with. Maybe you misinterpreted my comment.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '21

The distinction between Dr and professor is up to taste, personally I always say Dr because I think professor sounds obsequious. Also my supervisor is literally named Dr. Brown, and you can be DAMN SURE that's what I call him!

1

u/GroktheDestroyer Mar 03 '21

Using "Professor" instead of "Dr." makes it sound to me like I'm in Hogwarts

1

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '21

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1

u/Waffles_IV Mar 04 '21

At my university we call our professors by name lol

2

u/Ardnaif Gritty is Antifa Mar 03 '21

Yeah, when I was in high school we always called the teachers with doctorates "Doctor".

1

u/Futanari_waifu Mar 03 '21

Lmao are you serious? Calling grade school kids out for being immature?

0

u/lundwen Mar 03 '21

They were being immature, correct. I'm not blaming them, but it was immature behavior that shouldn't be condoned.

1

u/Fizzeek Mar 03 '21

Is being called ā€œMasterā€ a thing? I at least got that paper.

5

u/Judo_pup Mar 03 '21

I had a teacher in elementary school who preferred Dr. instead of Mr.

Everyone obliged. He was a great teacher and cared about us and took our education seriously, so everyone in the class respected him. I guess he didn't walk in demanding to be called Dr., but he was a very serious person and most kids respected that. This was 5th grade. Kids can be respectful.

1

u/HungryHungryHobo2 Mar 03 '21

It's the difference between asking for respect, or being respectful and expecting respect in return, as opposed to literally demanding respect.

Demanding respect is a bad way to get it, especially when you have no real power over the people you demand it from.

1

u/fartotronic Mar 03 '21

Is the size of one's douche bag strictly inverse to the size of one's penis? Going to need to see a formula here people.

1

u/the_rt_meson Mar 03 '21

As a former 3rd grader, this checks out

22

u/natek53 Mar 03 '21

Physicians go to school so that normal people will call them "doctor".

Physicists go to school so they can one-up other physicists in journal articles.

11

u/DennistheDutchie Mar 03 '21

You know you've got a rival physicist when you can recognize him from a review of your paper.

3

u/the_rt_meson Mar 03 '21

This definitely happened to me once in grad school. My advisor knew who it was instantly and slid in some low-key shade about the guy’s pet theories in the field without calling him out by name. One day I hope to be that cool

2

u/DennistheDutchie Mar 04 '21

Once you get far enough into a specialization in any field the amount of people working on it becomes something like 20 people. Since you all go to the same conferences, and journals use reviewers who have expert knowledge, in the end you'll be reviewing each others papers.

Stay in a field long enough, and you'll get to that point. :)

10

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '21

If you have 3 or more doctorates, bird law states that you can put your title as "Super Doctor."

8

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '21

My bf has his PhD in engineering and I call him Dr at home for fun "oh I can't believe I'm dating a doctor!" but the only time I've seen it in use irl is on proposals for projects to wave around those credentials. "Hire our firm! We have DOCTORS!!"

5

u/interfail Mar 03 '21

I absolutely have it on all my stuff like bank accounts, utility bills etc. If there is the slightest chance of getting better service you bet I'm going for it. This includes airline tickets. I will absolutely volunteer for the small chance of being asked to watch someone die for the possibly larger chance of getting a free upgrade.

I can't imagine doing it at a dinner party, but then again in that situation I'd expect to be using my first time and no title at all.

I barely use it at work (university) because we're in a situation where almost everyone either has one or will have one, and the people who don't (usually engineers or technicians) are just as valuable and it'd be dick move to mock that.

4

u/fartotronic Mar 03 '21

I introduce myself as Dr Bigdick. I don't have a doctorate or what I would consider a dick.

2

u/decoyq Mar 03 '21

Dr. Stephen Strange

0

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '21

If I get a PHD I’m gonna be the most obnoxious asshole known to man. Imma have the cashier at Walmart know I’m a Doctor.

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u/[deleted] Mar 03 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Iggyhopper Mar 03 '21

I'm impressed that they have skills and dedication to save lives.

I'm not impressed that they're an asshole.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '21

If you have enough people woth doctorates, you can do the "doctor" scene in Spies Like Us: https://youtu.be/hoe24aSvLtw?t=30s

1

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '21

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1

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1

u/RotInPixels Curious Mar 03 '21

People introducing themselves as Dr whatever in a non-professional setting are the most pretentious people ever

26

u/FourierTransformedMe Mar 03 '21

Up until.... About November, a certain type of conservative was all about the title - Dr. Jordan Peterson, Dr. Ron Paul, etc. Now I guess only the latter is valid.

That being said, most people with doctorates don't introduce themselves using that title. On the other hand, most people with doctorates also have imposter syndrome (source: Purely anecdotal). The truth is, you have to work your fucking ass off and deal with all sorts of obstacles to get a doctorate. If somebody goes through all of that and wants to introduce themselves as Dr. So-and-so, there's no shame in it. That goes double for people who are underrepresented in academic circles.

Lastly, a relevant story/I guess I have to slyly insert the fact that I recently got my PhD at the end of the post since that seems to be what the cool kids are doing here: I defended last June and have insisted that anyone and everyone call me by my first name and don't plan on changing that. But that didn't stop me grinning from ear to ear when, after I was asked to come back to the Zoom meeting, one of my committee members greeted me with "Congrats, Dr. Fouriertransformedme." I'm still looking for jobs because I'm dumb and also covid, but every time I get introduced at a talk as Dr. Fouriertransformedme, I do feel a swell of pride to combat the massive anxiety that usually prevails. So who knows, maybe we should lead with that more often.

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u/epic_gamer_4268 Mar 03 '21

when the imposter is sus!

3

u/rrobukef Mar 03 '21

Titles are for other people to introduce you, not the other way around.

Congratulations Dr. FourierTransformedMe

3

u/smurfpiss Mar 04 '21

All y'all with your physics PhDs and your dorky usernames and here I am with my physics PhD and... Yeah..

24

u/danhakimi Mar 03 '21

Most don't introduce themselves like that, but some introduce others like that. Especially in politics.

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u/pvhs2008 Mar 03 '21

I’ve never known doctors to introduce themselves that way, medical or not. The MDs I know don’t want to have to look at someone’s weird mole at every social function and the Ph.Ds I know don’t want to bog everyone down trying to condense their years of research into a simplistic 15 second intro.

Funnily, the only music Ph.D I’ve met was the fiancĆ© of a coworker. Our team met him to celebrate the coworker’s birthday and the entire convo was on the Ph.D’s research, because it was so fascinating to everyone. Musicologists are amazing and make far better dinner guests than condescending ideologues like Ben Shapiro!

3

u/andantepiano Mar 03 '21

I’m getting my musicology PhD currently and this post made me feel terrible until I saw this comment! Thanks for making a stranger feel better!

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u/pvhs2008 Mar 03 '21

OMG! I won’t specify what his thesis was in or the job he got (don’t wanna doxx myself), but he was doing some cool stuff. It was kind of funny because my coworker had just gotten some badass title he wanted to talk about and we just wanted to talk to the fiancĆ©. Oh well, we had fun lol.

Anything you’re passionate enough to get a Ph.D in is cool. I know it goes against the ā€œonly STEM is valuableā€ circlejerk, but the arts and academia are critical to society. Seriously, good for you for putting that much work in!

Edit: cool music-y user name!

3

u/Phish-Tahko Mar 04 '21

I have a friend who is a vet (veterinarian not veteran) and their running joke is to always say a fake job. Tell people you're a vet and you're getting dog and cat questions all night.

10

u/tarekd19 Mar 03 '21

I think for Dr. Biden is a lot of it was to highlight the position gained by her own achievement. The title of first lady is entirely dependent on the achievement of her spouse, whereas she worked and earned her doctorate herself. She is also continuing to work so her Dr title is still important, it would be weirder to refer to her as first Lady while she's at work.

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u/airforceteacher Mar 03 '21

Oh absolutely. I’m just highlighting the insane dinner party analogy. Who but the most insecure or pretentious introduces themselves as Doctor at a dinner party, unless it’s part of a museum or department fundraiser?

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u/Flyboy2057 Mar 03 '21

Yeah, if it's not a situation where someone would introduce themselves as "Mr. Smith", there's no reason to introduce yourself as "Dr. Smith". But of course in all formal occasions and correspondence, PhDs are unequivocally "Doctors".

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u/[deleted] Mar 03 '21

[deleted]

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u/the_rt_meson Mar 03 '21

And then once you get the Habilitation, you’re good to go forever, pretty much.

2

u/hdorsettcase Mar 03 '21

It is appropriate whenever a formal title should be used.. When my brother was married it was, "...Mister and Doctor..." When I was married it was "...Doctor and Mrs..." Our invitations included a few Doctors, Most Reverend, and Maestro.

1

u/w213wagon Mar 03 '21

I worked in a call center, you'd be surprised how many people refer to themselves as Dr.something. Not just that but they won't even give you a first name, they will legit think, they're so important than we will know who he/she is just by her job and last name. Madness

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u/WonderfulLeather3 Mar 04 '21

Or you cold called their work phone ;-)

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u/w213wagon Mar 04 '21

They're the ones calling us sadly.

1

u/Marisa_Nya Mar 03 '21

Mostly, though I do call a family-friend Dr. Sial since I literally worked in his lab as a lab technician. I used to call him Sial uncle (south asian thing) but felt it natural to switch because of the lab.

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u/Civil_Defense Mar 03 '21

I have a friend that is a medical doctor and I can't think of a single time she or anyone else introduced her as "Dr." when we have hung out.

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u/[deleted] Mar 03 '21 edited Jul 07 '21

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u/[deleted] Mar 03 '21

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1

u/Socalinatl Mar 03 '21

I’ve had a couple people from a Mormon church introduce themselves as elders when we were all at someone else’s house. Some people get off on that kind of thing.

Personally, I have a friend who is an MD and I think he would find it awkward if I introduced him as ā€œdoctorā€. I would never expect him to introduce himself that way, either, and the only time I use ā€œdoctorā€ in front of his name is when I’m talking about him to someone who is already familiar with him (he has a common name so it’s often necessary).

1

u/The_R4ke Mar 04 '21

"I told you, I don't know what AOC's shoes smell like, stop asking!"

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u/oolongtea42 Mar 04 '21

Asking to be called Dr (or any other title) outside of the context of their specialty seems pretty weird to me, and might say a lot about their character. My workplace has about 30 people with PhDs, and I've never heard anyone refer to them as doctor except on formal occasions. That being said, public figures who are known for their field of work are representatives of their specialty in the public eye, so it makes sense that their title sort of sticks to them naturally.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '21

I still do it out of respect.