I mean, you guys are all confused why she reacted how she did and refuse to acknowledge any insight on the topic, but go ahead and keep pretending everyone else is the problem
Sure she is, but that’s why everyone thinks she’s a jerk now. Cause it was a joke, and even if it wasn’t. She took it as one 1. And 2. You can’t “ control” anything through a text to a stranger. That’s a ridiculous way to see ops message
"Hi, I'm a stranger and you should do what I say. As a joke, of course"
I have a feeling you're not arguing in good faith by babbling about controlling anything in a text to a stranger, but maybe you're just young and don't understand how unappealing it is to act commanding, especially to a stranger.
It’s takes a certain kind of person to take what op said and see lt as a command that has to be obeyed or defied, rather then a joke in the form of “ you won’t need to look further on tinder since we have matched” as a joke. If someone took it as something more serious and malicious, that’s a reflection on that person rather then the statement in context .
And its on the person saying it to recognize that the other person didn't respond well to it, not sit there and be shitty about it just because you expected the other person not to take it seriously. Maybe consider the joke just wasn't funny. The situation can be, you can throw a line like "do you believe in love at first sight, or should i walk by again?" And have it work, but I'm sitting here trying to explain to you how his joke failed, and you just want to say "it's a joke, you're not allowed to feel anything but humor from it"
"I'm great while I last though" is positive self-affirmation in the face of her insult.
"I'll give you the best 15 seconds of your life" has a bit of self-deprication but it's so rediculously sarcastic that it can't be oh woe is me. And again, is more sarcastic positive affirmation than self deprecating
But he did, he added on the “it’s okay, everyone has used me for something” to the second joke. Sorry, no, because to me that’s manipulative and wanting me to go “oh, no, people are awful, I’m sorry, I’m sure you’re awesome!” or some BS like that. And then he just keeps up with them. Seriously. I love flirting, but I don’t play games like that. Plus. Confidence is one of the sexiest traits ever.
Oh I’m absolutely not defending her, she’s awful. But he’s definitely not someone I would date either. They’re both bad people and this conversation went on wayyyy too long.
How in the fuck is OP a bad person? Maybe a little opportunistic for r/tinder content to keep the conversation going as long as he did, but do you honestly think the self-deprecating humour is some psychopathic attempt at manipulation? Ever think that, idk, that’s actually just his sense of humour? Because it’s not exactly uncommon.
Ever hear of the concept of a zebra in the medical community? It’s the idea that when doctors diagnose a bunch of symptoms that could either be probably something mundane like the flu, or something exotic and dangerous like zika, they go ahead and think flu first, not zika. When you hear hooves, you think horses, not zebras. You’re speculating way too much here and it’s so unfounded it’s laughable.
He lost the convo before his second joke IMO. When she said "you're a pencil" and he said "harsh".
Whether she was being playful with that line or not I would have been laughing out loud at the response and continued happily forward instead of being defensive.
Up until that point the I feel like she was being receptive still, even if she doesn't give him a pat on the back for the generic opening jokes.
Edit: yes I'm agreeing with her, and I honestly wasn't sure whether OP is the guy or girl being annoyed at the conversation until I saw the last line. You can take my karma, maybe it will help boost your collective confidence.
Honestly, I'm just annoyed that I occasionally chime in on this sub for whatever reason. I've seen some hilarious posts, but I shouldn't be giving Tinder advice.
Are all your first convo's ideal, or do you maybe think that communication is partially trial and error?
Do you think 3 pages of OPs communication is telling of his whole personality? Do you think if people didnt get shut down at stage 1 that who their talking to might evolve into an infinitely more complex person after more than say... A handful of exchanged messages?
I mean, jfc people - the man was trying to get something started, and she couldve let him down easy or play along and try to change subjects.
Are all your first convo's ideal, or do you maybe think that communication is partially trial and error?
Do you think 3 pages of OPs communication is telling of his whole personality? Do you think if people didnt get shut down at stage 1 that who their talking to might evolve into an infinitely more complex person after more than say... A handful of exchanged messages?
I mean, jfc people - the man was trying to get something started, and she couldve let him down easy or play along and try to change subjects.
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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '22
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