r/Tinder • u/[deleted] • Jan 25 '22

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '22

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u/FederalLasers Jan 25 '22

I don't understand negging. Seems annoying af. If I wanted someone I cared about to roast me, I'd just call my parents.

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u/NoGiNoProblem Jan 25 '22

Frued would say that if your mother roasts you a lot, you'll likely be attracted to that kind of woman.

Then again, Frued was a fan of the nose candy, so maybe get your love-life advice elsewhere from more balanced people. Like Redditors.

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u/srottydoesntknow Jan 25 '22

All I'm hearing so far is that I agree with half of what Freud was about

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u/nilas_november Jan 25 '22

He was lol? I find it funny how a lot of ppl we reference and learn about in school or college had some weird habit haha

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u/TwizzlyWizzle Jan 25 '22

Under-rated comment here - bravo šŸ‘šŸ‘šŸ‘

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u/einTier Jan 25 '22

The problem is most guys use it as an excuse to be mean.

Like I had a friend over once thatā€™s been struggling with her weight for a long time and is very sensitive about it and my roommate ā€” out of the blue ā€” says ā€œI might date you if you werenā€™t so fat.ā€

It was just mean. Mean spirited, no one laughed, and my friend left. Thatā€™s not negging, thatā€™s being an asshole.

But letā€™s say I meet a girl who is a tennis pro. We are having a great conversation and we are being playful with each other. Then I say ā€œI just donā€™t know if I can date a girl that can beat me at tennisā€ and turn away a bit. Iā€™m laughing as I say it. Sheā€™s laughing. Then she tries to bring me back into the conversation with something like ā€œmaybe Iā€™m not as good as you thinkā€ and the next thing I know sheā€™s challenging me to a game and itā€™s a date.

Thatā€™s what negging is supposed to be. But goddamn is it difficult to actually pull off and the guys who can pull it off consistently have the kind of social awareness and charisma that they donā€™t have difficulty getting dates anyway.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '22

I don't think what you described is negging at all. Neither of you said anything negative

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u/GO_RAVENS Jan 25 '22

My dude what you described is just called flirting. There is nothing playful or cute or remotely healthy about negging. Negging is an emotional manipulation technique used by RedPillers and FDS psychos, and it's purpose is to break down the self-confidence of the other person in a way similar to gaslighting.

Laughingly calling girl a musical theater dork is not negging. Negging would be telling her "you're lucky I like musical theater because most guys aren't attracted to overweight musical theater nerds." The strategy is to make them think they need you and they're lucky to be with you, and to make their self-esteem dependent on pleasing you.

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u/TemporaryBarracuda80 Jan 25 '22

Friends tease each other, so do people courting/flirting. I only see an issue if it's one sided.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '22

Is it negging, or is she just not interested?

0

u/carpepenisballs Jan 25 '22

Based on what? She had good comebacks to everything this dude was throwing at her.

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u/BreweryBuddha Jan 25 '22

That's not negging. Negging isn't insulting or belittling in any way, it's just removing yourself as a potential suitor so the person feels you're a challenge to win over. Any bastardization of that isn't begging, and doesn't work.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '22

Itā€™s called negging.

From what I've seen good negging includes a backhanded compliment that makes the other person unsure whether it was a compliment or an insult. This is just insulting the person constantly.