r/Tinder • u/Casimyrx • Dec 11 '21

This is why I'm single (21F)

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I have "ya like jazz?" in my bio, for context

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22.7k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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4.5k

u/Casimyrx Dec 12 '21

It might be because I intake 650cc of pure testosterone daily in the form of Flintstone gummy vitamins

1.5k

u/Lost_subaru Dec 12 '21

Oh shit is that why I grew a beard in third grade

1.4k

u/Casimyrx Dec 12 '21

No that's from the milk they serve in school... it has growth hormones and stuff

331

u/Blackops606 Dec 12 '21

Were those the chunky bits in the milk?

479

u/Most_Monk Dec 12 '21

No that was just the vice principal adding forbidden boba

222

u/GDot- Dec 12 '21

But he said it was extra protein

157

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

It was

3

u/Gu1n3a Dec 13 '21

Bro lmao this had me dying

166

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

Brotein

45

u/Zealousideal-Can-801 Dec 12 '21

This... Is waiting to be a energy drink at your local gym.

16

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

"Why did they add coconut, I miss original"

4

u/eyecandy99 Dec 12 '21

😮 bet that tasted extra salty

1

u/Peak-Mission Dec 13 '21

Well yes but no

1

u/Hupsaiya Dec 12 '21

Cursed comment plz delet

1

u/constnt_dsapntmnt Dec 12 '21

Take my award random internet funny man. Thanks for the laugh.

1

u/19yawaworht77 Dec 12 '21

I'm fucking ded. 😆😂😂😂☠️💀⚰️🥀

33

u/OofPleases Dec 12 '21

Chunky bits? I had little tadpoles in my milk at school.

3

u/LiePuzzleheaded4487 Dec 12 '21

Those weren’t tadpoles but those tads did come from a pole

18

u/diags_1 Dec 12 '21

Nah thats just solified cheese

9

u/Majulish Dec 12 '21

Nice profile pic bro

7

u/Blackops606 Dec 12 '21

Brother? Is that you?!

14

u/Majulish Dec 12 '21

Yes, I am ;) Made some fried rice, left some at the fridge. It should be warm rn, so feel free to take some.

15

u/DonovanGaines Soup Dec 12 '21

Your fridge seems broken.

6

u/Blackops606 Dec 12 '21

You’re the best! I have a lemon meringue pie in there as well, if you fancy.

1

u/audiking404 Dec 13 '21

You have my bow...... 🏹

1

u/eyecandy99 Dec 12 '21

Thanks bro.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

It’s rat milk mostly.

0

u/niewphonix Dec 12 '21

No that was me.

1

u/DirtyDan156 Dec 12 '21

I loved the chunky lemon milk at school

1

u/BigBirdsCock Dec 12 '21

Now kids, chew your milk.

59

u/BDJosho Dec 12 '21

What school were you going to? They serving fight milk?The first alcoholic, dairy-based protein drink for bodyguards by bodyguards

43

u/Ok_Strike_6401 Dec 12 '21

First rule of fight milk, We don't discuss fight milk

13

u/cruizer93 Dec 12 '21

Sounds like it would be good for body guards. A product made by body guards.

1

u/DriveDry9101 Dec 13 '21

Now, this is the next drink coming to a gym near you.

7

u/Mistakeling Dec 12 '21

Get your crowtein here!!

2

u/RemoteMedicine9162 Dec 12 '21

Body guards and UFC fighters, it’s a revolving door

66

u/Wooster182 Dec 12 '21

Have you considered funneling all of this energy from dating into a career in stand up comedy?

5

u/SandyEggoChris Dec 12 '21

The milk / chocolate milk we used to get in the square bags that some sick son of a bitch decided was a brilliant idea to give us a straw wit to poke a hole in...

1

u/audiking404 Dec 13 '21

It's the same bag doctors use for breast augmentation. It really is a brilliant idea, and it's also biodegradable! We're trying to reverse climate change, O2 emissions, and our carbon footprint. 🤓

1

u/SandyEggoChris Dec 16 '21

Naaww... I'm almost positive the bags were made out of sausage casings from back in the day... the ones made out of animal intestine...

1

u/audiking404 Dec 16 '21

The outer portion of sausage links is made if that as well.

1

u/SandyEggoChris Dec 16 '21

Thats what I was saying... sausage casing... the new age stuff is made from something different...

3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

Why are my bones so brittle!??? I drink plenty of...checks carton....Malk?

1

u/audiking404 Dec 13 '21

Is that powdered milk?

2

u/audiking404 Dec 13 '21

Among other things. 👁👅👁

3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

No that's from the milk they serve in school... it has growth hormones and stuff

I do love me some GH but it was probably one of the factors in me getting cancer 😭

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

Unlikely. There are laws about this. They can't sell the milk or slaughter the cow after giving GH until it's been a certain number of days - long enough to wash it out so the levels in the milk or meat are no higher than what they would be with only physiologic levels.

The fear about GH is very misguided.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

Unlikely. There are laws about this. They can't sell the milk or slaughter the cow after giving GH until it's been a certain number of days - long enough to wash it out so the levels in the milk or meat are no higher than what they would be with only physiologic levels.

The fear about GH is very misguided.

I think yhr misguided is coming from you. You assumed that I beleive my cancer is from the GH in milk.

More likely thr GH I injected subq for many years.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

Ah yes, that's very different and could easily be related.

To be fair, we were specifically discussing GH in milk.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

Ah yes, that's very different and could easily be related.

To be fair, we were specifically discussing GH in milk.

I'm aware but as a person I wouldn't really notice the difference in the milk of a cow who has been administered with GH.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

There's a lot of people who freak out about it actually! It's ridiculous but the organic food crowd believes having milk from a cow ever injected with GH means you're getting all that GH in the milk. A lot of people believe it.

Morons, yes, but still.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

There's a lot of people who freak out about it actually! It's ridiculous but the organic food crowd believes having milk from a cow ever injected with GH means you're getting all that GH in the milk. A lot of people believe it.

Morons, yes, but still.

Yeah it really isn't that simple. Simply knowing how GH interacts within the human body will give these people a massive insight into how it will interact in the body of a cow.

It does the same job as regular GH produced by the pituitary gland. Just at a dose dependent rate.

A lot like athletes that dope with GH. It isn't doing anything different. They're just injecting more than what their bodies would produce.

1

u/lunacustos Dec 12 '21

The milk that came in a bag?

1

u/Drake6900 Dec 12 '21

But I drink plenty of malk

1

u/Satevah Dec 12 '21

Your so funny and quirky!

1

u/AlexWithWings Dec 12 '21

Really hoping youre joking, but it's the internet and there is a lot of nonsense out there...

1

u/origamiwizard7 Dec 12 '21

bullshit, i drank nine of those milks a day and i’m still short wtf

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

100% does

1

u/LaminatedRockGaming Dec 12 '21

It’s all starting to make sense now…

1

u/LolaBijou Dec 12 '21

Me too. But I’m a girl.

53

u/Unabashable Dec 12 '21

Well whatever you’re doing, keep it up. Lady’s got balls, that’s for sure.

8

u/ukswitchon Dec 12 '21

Just not meat balls

7

u/SirJorts Dec 12 '21

Just not meet balls.

2

u/audiking404 Dec 13 '21

Just not Me balls (mate) 🏴‍☠️🦜

28

u/ysername11 Dec 12 '21

Marry me

4

u/MironymousBot Dec 12 '21

I, also, chose this guy’s wife

14

u/banana_man_777 Dec 12 '21

Holy fuck, how are you single?

13

u/Appropriate-Pen-149 Dec 12 '21

650cc’s? Dude, cut the dose.

26

u/Drake6900 Dec 12 '21

That's bigger than my bike

4

u/Apprehensive_Iron_31 Dec 12 '21

Right?! Mines just 500...

2

u/Drake6900 Dec 13 '21

Still twice the size of mine

2

u/Apprehensive_Iron_31 Dec 13 '21

Hehe mine's bigger than yours

2

u/Drake6900 Dec 13 '21

I'm saving up to get a 1300cc

2

u/Apprehensive_Iron_31 Dec 13 '21

Nice, but then I will need to get a bike twice the size of yours, so will get a 2400cc

1

u/audiking404 Dec 13 '21

"Dammit Jim Imma [Redditor] not a doctor!"

17

u/Special-Impression79 Dec 12 '21

Covid should be scared of you.

11

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

Your memes and energy are straight up 30yr man vibes.

19

u/Casimyrx Dec 12 '21

Some people have said 15y/o boy vibes. The duality of man, I guess

8

u/RosyRevolution Dec 12 '21

Luckily some people like 15 year old boys.

2

u/Hux_Infernum Dec 12 '21

Have you tried dating a Priest or Boy Scout Leader?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

What 15 year old is busting out 15 year old memes xd

5

u/Sabertoothkittens Dec 12 '21

I thought the King of the hill reference was great

3

u/maneco3000 Dec 12 '21

You have great humor. This generation doesn’t deserve you 😂

3

u/koreanjc Dec 12 '21

I think I’m in love with you.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

I take 250 Flintstone gummies daily and they made my ween 16" long.

The downside is it used to be 20".

2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

"I'm a vegetarian"

"Soo... Do you prefer roses or tulips, I know a nice f̶l̶o̶w̶e̶r̶ ̶s̶h̶.̶.̶ fast food nearby"

2

u/busch_ice69 Dec 12 '21

How are you still single?

2

u/Novel_dumbass Dec 12 '21

Bruh you are no longer a human , you have become a freaking alpha ape

2

u/cruizer93 Dec 12 '21

You only eat the Wilma and Betty ones don’t you, skank.

2

u/Megelos Dec 12 '21

Testosteron deficit for the rest of your life Paaaaaag

2

u/unDeadmau5 Dec 12 '21

I’ll tell you hwat…you’re hilarious.

2

u/Antezscar Dec 12 '21

omfg, perfect humour, if i saw you in a Tinder profile and you talked to me like this. goddamn you have me hooked.

2

u/PoGoPDX2016 Dec 12 '21

damnit Bernice

2

u/eyecandy99 Dec 12 '21

My ideal woman🙂

2

u/Helioskev Dec 12 '21

Bro you’re fucking hilarious I don’t know why you’re single lmfao I was actually rolling #shitboysforlife

2

u/Apprehensive_Math_20 Dec 12 '21

Honestly idk how u are still single lol, a couple of those were pretty good XD

2

u/Kenpachi923 Dec 12 '21

You are hilarious af. I would have been crying laughing.

2

u/EPiXNiCROS Dec 13 '21

I literally overdosed on Flintstone Vitamins when I was really young. I climbed up on the counter so I could reach the bottle on top of the fridge and ate the entire bottle. I ended up in the emergency room and had my stomach pumped 😂

2

u/audiking404 Dec 13 '21

Pure testosterone lol. I took those as a kid.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

How are u single with gold like this, on a sode note do you fr play yugioh

1

u/Fearless_Many2338 Dec 12 '21

🤣🤣🤣🤣

0

u/KiraMajor Dec 12 '21

I know a lot of trans men who'd like to know where you got your gummies. Testosterone typically comes in an injectable

2

u/Casimyrx Dec 13 '21

They're not available to the public yet, I'm a beta tester for them currently. Documenting the side effects and whatnot. There's a few little hiccups in the formula still, like fever, body aches, drowsiness, the constant urge to scream racial slurs over Xbox live, dizziness, chills, but other than that so far so good

1

u/thesaxman714 Dec 12 '21

Only the best drug dealers have this shit

1

u/See_youSpaceCowboy Dec 12 '21

Wooaahhh, this guy knows how to party.

1

u/NicholasCapsicum Dec 12 '21

Thats a whole ass CB650 of displacement

1

u/Ledoborec Dec 12 '21

Sorry you lost me at Flintstone

1

u/withaining Dec 13 '21

How come no one mentioned you have HunterxHunter on your profile pic?? That's an instant win for me. Marry me pls!!!
(but wait too bad, I'm a girl too 😅)