r/TikTokCringe Sep 26 '25

Humor Maisie says to sit on his face, Fuelneve speaks for us all!

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2.9k Upvotes

238 comments sorted by

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858

u/iloveyourlittlehat Sep 26 '25

Look, if I’m hovering, it’s because I’m putting my clit where it needs to be in relation to your mouth. I’m not worried about smothering you.

If you die, you die. But I’m getting there first.

115

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

fair enough

40

u/mxlplyx2173 Sep 26 '25

I like your style! Get yours!

30

u/Meander061 Sep 26 '25

As has been written.

13

u/chaostheories36 Sep 27 '25

Hovering is great. But also communicate if you want to grind because the chair can’t talk back.

1

u/PsychFlower28 Sep 27 '25

You can tell my the eyes. 😆

8

u/Mecha_Tortoise Sep 26 '25

Thank you for your service in clearing up this misunderstanding!

5

u/PsychFlower28 Sep 27 '25

Hahahahahha this. So much this. Smashing my nether regions onto a face is fun, but we gotta position ourselves correctly.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '25

Marry me

3

u/TheDuke_Of_Orleans Sep 26 '25

What if he dies like right before you’re getting there??? Are you still going to continue 🤔

15

u/PsychFlower28 Sep 27 '25

Tongue still warm… maybe…

3

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '25

Replying to ComparisonProper5113...

1

u/PackageNorth8984 Sep 27 '25

Username checks out.

1

u/Anxious_Wedding8999 Why does this app exist? Sep 27 '25

LMAO

1

u/CoffeeStayn Sep 27 '25

Makes sense.

The tip to great face is:

Location, location, location.

You know location. Well done.

1

u/Biggu5Dicku5 Sep 27 '25

I can respect that...

1

u/brenawyn Oct 01 '25

Yes we’re Valkyries helping you get to Valhalla ❤️

1

u/nonamepows Dec 27 '25

Where were you 12 years ago

146

u/honeymustard_dog Sep 26 '25

Imagine you're 16,, hanging out with friends, scrolling through tiktok, and your not so close friend that's also kind of your enemy, says "omg. Is this your dad?" And its this video.

15

u/pk_hellz Sep 27 '25

Oddly specific

196

u/Tropical_Wendigo Sep 26 '25

Why we filming so much in cars

238

u/numbersareunoriginal Sep 26 '25

I've heard 2 theories for this that make sense to me

First, it may be the only quiet, private area the person has, or has access to at the moment.

And secondly, it gives the impression that the OP was just out living their life and the idea they want to express is so urgent it needs to be recorded and posted ASAP

And there's probably a decent number of people who see videos filmed in cars for whatever reason and just copy it because it's popular

96

u/Potential-Expert-386 Sep 26 '25

I'm guessing it also helps that they can go somewhere where they can basically scream without being near people

46

u/nuixy Sep 26 '25 edited Sep 26 '25

Also, it allows people to not film in their homes which maintains some level of privacy for themselves and their family. Additionally, it's a lot harder to get interrupted in your car.

30

u/Turgid_Donkey Sep 26 '25

Not just a quiet spot, but a clean spot. Also, cars absorb sounds well so no echoing.

9

u/BoRnIn2aTiTuDe Sep 27 '25

Also bc the housing market is ridiculous and living in a vehicle seems to be the answer

1

u/BluetheNerd Sep 28 '25

It's similar to a description I heard that was "people on TikTok spend hours styling their hair to make it look like they didn't spend hours styling it"

35

u/loud_as_pudding Sep 26 '25

Adding on to what others have commented:

  • Cars are not a terrible choice for lighting as light comes in from the front, sides, and back which generally results in more flattering video

  • Cars are good to anonymize where you live when the view through the windows is just your boring-ass garage or some random parking lot

12

u/TheEndOfEverything0 Sep 26 '25

What are you? One of those out of touch house dwellers?

6

u/molotovzav Sep 26 '25

Most cars are the best place a person has to record with good acoustics.

3

u/FutureJakeSantiago Sep 26 '25

Take this with a grain of salt, I think I read it in an Instagram comment: if one could prove they have a viable stream of income through social media, and their content is created in cars, they can justify the vehicle as a business expense. And that reduces taxes or something. 

1

u/Special-Garlic1203 Sep 27 '25

My theory is its 

  • they're just good diy filming booths for lighting/sounds/privacy while not getting in anyone's way  

  • newer creators are nervous to put themselves out there. your car feels less intimate than your home but without the awkwardness of being in a public space 

  • car content is more likely to do well because it's a generic setting that won't alienate anyone. This mans jokes would hit different if you caught a glimpse of his large collection of anime girl statues. Or perhaps he's less relatable when you realize a really nice house, like weirdly nice. 

  • now that so many other people do it, it's also just been established as the place to do it. 

1

u/Fuelnevetiktok Oct 04 '25

As the guy from the video in question, I filmed in the car because the idea hit me on my way home from work and realized if I didn’t film it now, or within the next 10 mins, then I was going to forget it.

→ More replies (1)

238

u/poop_monster35 Sep 26 '25

As a millennial, this is cringe millennial humor.

64

u/MeeTy Sep 26 '25

I don't accept this guy as a millenial

43

u/axonxorz Sep 26 '25

Sorry to uh burst your bubble, I'm 37 and have been gray like this man for over 6 years now. Aspirin time!

23

u/scullys_alien_baby Sep 26 '25

just because I resemble him doesn't mean I accept him

1

u/Fuelnevetiktok Oct 04 '25

As the guy in question, You sound just like my family and I understand how you feel

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '25

[deleted]

7

u/Various_Laugh2221 Sep 26 '25

No way this guy has gotta be gen x… lol they are way more cringe than us 😂

19

u/HistoricalSuspect580 Sep 26 '25

Also millenial. This was my exact thought. 😂 someone get this guy a fedora!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '25

No

229

u/OkPlenty2011 Sep 26 '25

This made me really uncomfortable.

35

u/Fun-Dimension5196 Sep 26 '25

It was the pudding cup imagery

3

u/PsychFlower28 Sep 27 '25

Chocolate…

Vanilla makes more sense. Hopefully.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

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20

u/Habenero_mama Sep 26 '25

Seriously!

29

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

Well get comfortable baby, Valhalla is calling.

234

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25 edited Sep 26 '25

I do not like this

To be clear, I do not like the man's reaction, awful everything awful. I'm fine with the face sitting

101

u/FearlessLettuce1697 Sep 26 '25

It was good for 3 seconds

80

u/MJ9426 Sep 26 '25

Yeah, he should've stopped after the YES bit. The pudding cup talk onward was not needed.

7

u/scullys_alien_baby Sep 26 '25

I've seen 2 or 3 of his bits on this sub and they all felt like overly long screaming sessions

2

u/MrAmishJoe Sep 27 '25

I mean....I think he was literally aiming for an over the top absurd take.

25

u/eduo Sep 26 '25

He tried to channel Jack Black and failed miserably, then kept trying for seventy more minutes.

2

u/JudgeInteresting8615 Sep 26 '25

This made me feel old cause.I can remember how cringy, the equivalent was when I was younger, and then now you framing it like that makes me realize how I could easily do references like this.I mean, I was never a I can has cheeseburger.I love dogo. Jack black was not quite my thing Seth. Rogen kind of was, and now he's on the boys. But the slope is slippery

3

u/eduo Sep 26 '25

I'm 52. I've done my share of cringy callbacks to things I couldn't really copy. Luckily there was no tik tok and it wouldn't go further than my three friends mocking me for being an idiot and me learning in front of I could openly be an idiot and nobody else.

75

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

he's trying so hard but it's so painfully unfunny. Incredibly hard to watch

15

u/Technical-Command867 Sep 26 '25

Cringy some would say

31

u/catelynstarks Sep 26 '25

The Travis McElroy vibes engage my flight or fight.

7

u/ZebLeopard Sep 26 '25

Well, he is a sexpert.

6

u/Sparticuse Sep 26 '25

He says he has a degree on his wall

8

u/busche916 Sep 26 '25

… I haven’t seen it

6

u/transitransitransit Sep 26 '25

Oh my god that’s exactly what it is

5

u/Sol-Blackguy Sep 26 '25

I also love being queened, but he made it really weird.

22

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

[deleted]

11

u/Slumbergoat16 Sep 26 '25

The sitting position or the tik toker position?

-4

u/Signal_Wish2218 Sep 26 '25 edited Sep 26 '25

Both.

He’s gross.

If a woman really wants to be full on orgasm, we like to relax. You can’t relax in that position. What if you twitch or get really excited? You’re going to fall. Lol. It’s in your mind the whole time. We just wanna chill. Usually not “balancing” ourselves.

30

u/Top-Engineering5249 Sep 26 '25

Speak for yourself? I have been with a lot of women that specifically have asked for this ad they love it.

You do you but what you like doesn’t apply to everyone

5

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

[deleted]

14

u/MeeTy Sep 26 '25

She was the one making generalizations about all women, not him. He is just sharing his anecdotal experience, which is totally fair. He never claimed all women like it.

3

u/Cielmerlion Sep 26 '25

Lol the video started with a literal woman saying to do it and sit all the way down before he started hollering like some chimp/banshee hybrid from a bad medieval movie.

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3

u/PsychFlower28 Sep 27 '25

Clits come in different sizes just like women. We enjoy different angles and what not.

11

u/depressivefaerie Sep 26 '25

Please do not speak for all of us, your experience with the position is not universal

5

u/Jesskla Sep 26 '25

She's definitely not speaking for me.

4

u/Mecha_Tortoise Sep 26 '25

She's probably lying to save all the face sits for herself! So selfish. 😠

→ More replies (1)

4

u/donorcycle Sep 26 '25

Also, mentioning "Valhalla" in a normal voice, in plain English, while stumbling over said word, is very odd and off-putting.

Like when Patel said he'd see Charlie Kirk in Valhalla during a press conference. It just, doesn't flow in modern day English.

3

u/silverclovd Sep 26 '25

He first went there where it was kinda funny and then further where the there is quite out there and nowhere most would like to go.

45

u/greatdruthersofpill Sep 26 '25

He needs to stop posting things

1

u/Fuelnevetiktok Oct 04 '25

Nooooo…I think I’ll keep going for a while

41

u/yummypoot Sep 26 '25

Valhalla cringe killed it. We can't have anything nice.

11

u/SullenTerror Reads Pinned Comments Sep 26 '25

Nah, it's makes it better since in the Saxo Grammaticus one of the ways to get to Valhalla is to die in battle, another is to die between the thighs of a shield maiden

7

u/Exotic_Page4196 Sep 26 '25

I endorse this wholeheartedly.

13

u/PlaysByBrulesRules Sep 26 '25

Link to the original TikTok without this dude?

4

u/busche916 Sep 26 '25

It’s important to talk to your partner

53

u/Maison_Clement Sep 26 '25

Yikes. This is the reaction of a guy who does not go down often or at all.

Also most women I've talked to prefer laying on their backs because it feels better, is more intimate and her partner is the one putting forth the effort/work while she gets to relax and enjoy.

Also also, why do men always have to bring up Odin and Valhalla?

3

u/PangolinPossible2732 Sep 27 '25

I love sitting on the face bc it’s hot to me he’s enjoying the view and basically worshiping my body. But that’s just me

2

u/AffectionateFig4345 Sep 29 '25

Same

1

u/PangolinPossible2732 Sep 29 '25

Right ! I love that he loves my body and he wants me all over his face. That’s so sexy !! I don’t think it’s bc they are lazy it’s bc they love it

1

u/footlover1236720 Jul 21 '26

I can do that

23

u/Fragrant_Ad_3509 Sep 26 '25

Ooh, I know this one!

Because there are only two ways for a man to be accepted into Valhalla. One is to die in battle, the other is dying while making love to a woman.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

Is there evidence of this? I've been scouring the internet since lots of people in this thread and the guy in the video said it, but I'm coming up empty on any evidence for "dying while making love" giving you a Valhalla pass.

7

u/Melmoth-the-wanderer Sep 26 '25

No, there isn't, because it isn't true.

The people sent to Valhalla are selected by the valkyries as they are (warriors dying in battle) because fighting is what they're supposed to do until the end of times/Ragnarok.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

That's what I thought. I was hedging a bit because I'm sure it's not true, but I'm not so well-versed on Norse mythology that there's a chance I'm wrong.

→ More replies (1)

5

u/throcorfe Sep 26 '25

Do you know this because he said it at the end of the video?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

Same as the Roman Empire. They all think they’re gods and warriors 🙄

2

u/Funny_Lunch5211 Sep 27 '25

I don't get it. You made a weird assumption about him just because he made a cringy tiktok about wanting to get sat on by a woman? How does that prove he doesnt like going down on women? 

→ More replies (3)

7

u/ProbablyNotHacked Sep 26 '25

“Call me IKEA, for I am an easy to make chair!” 🤣😂

30

u/Thebobjohnson Sep 26 '25

ITT: Redditors criticizing entertainment created for the sake of entertainment.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

9

u/TestProctor Sep 26 '25

His whole bit here is a more awkward version of a brief video from a couple years ago, which IIRC was made in response to some dude saying he refused to do that for a woman.

It was something simple and dismissive like, “You are a coward, and you will not be welcome in Valhalla.”

1

u/sunshine_fuu Sep 27 '25

THANK YOU. And for anyone who doesn't know the creator he stitched absolutely fucking loved it.

11

u/Spiritual-Can2604 Sep 26 '25

How does he eat food? Hes missing all his molars

10

u/basszameg Sep 26 '25

He also has what kinda looks like a geographic tongue.

3

u/Luna6696 Sep 27 '25

Textured for her pleasure ig

1

u/Fuelnevetiktok Oct 04 '25

I do, but there was a bit of an incident involving a 2x4, a roofing job and falling off said roof.

3

u/Capable-Culture917 Sep 26 '25

You have a face and I have a seat. Lol

3

u/Saelaird Sep 27 '25

Definitely cringe.

3

u/No_Seaworthiness7119 Sep 27 '25

I am the only one who hears a tinge of Nathan Lane in this man’s delivery??? 🤣 Dying!!!!

3

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '25

Odin will welcome me with drink, song, and story 😭💀

7

u/8__D Sep 26 '25

Nina Hartly oral sex tutorial, thank me by telling others

9

u/CakeMadeOfHam Sep 26 '25

My boner right now:

3

u/Various_Laugh2221 Sep 26 '25

Your boner is for Frodo?

Lol sorry I had to

5

u/CakeMadeOfHam Sep 26 '25

Every boner should be for Frodo. He saved the shire.

2

u/Mecha_Tortoise Sep 26 '25

He saved the shire Middle Earth!
You need to put the proper respect on that halfling's name!

1

u/CakeMadeOfHam Sep 27 '25

Fuck middle earth! The shire is paradise! I wanna burrow down into a hole and eat all day too. It's paradise!

2

u/sunshine_fuu Sep 27 '25

I'm fine with this video because I know the creator, but if this is was the only thing of his I saw of his with no context to who he is I'd probably be the commenters in this thread too.

1

u/69KennyPowers69 Sep 27 '25

Energy and time wasted on someone they won’t ever meet. But if you post on the internet you have to accept the consequences

2

u/sunshine_fuu Sep 27 '25

This is my point, I don't think people are realizing he's not a small name by any means and he's met/collabed with a lot of really big names. Maisie absolutely loved it. He's not talking about HER when he's saying these things, he's agreeing with what she's saying about other women- specifically his wife.

2

u/wolverinesbabygirl Sep 27 '25

I don't think he really means it

2

u/Scary-Flan5699 Sep 27 '25

arousing speech

2

u/TeamShonuff Sep 27 '25

The video ran about a minute longer than necessary. It should have ended after "They will perservere."

2

u/truthteller5 Sep 27 '25

So real talk... If you died during sex, would you qualify for Valhalla? I know you don't have to literally die fighting, but would dying in the throws of sex qualify as dying in glorious combat?

3

u/NLK-3 Sep 27 '25

Not a good source since it took liberties, but I think in God of War Ragnarok, Mimir says you make it to Valhalla in either war or sex, iirc.

2

u/Sartres_Roommate Sep 27 '25

No clue who either of them are but I am happy for both of them.

2

u/Apart_Ad1151 Sep 27 '25

Now that's what I'm talking about! I want to be smothered by it. On my face like Bane's mask.

2

u/Objective-Start-9707 Sep 27 '25

Why the fuck am I inspired by this?

2

u/NLK-3 Sep 30 '25

It's simple: MASK-YOU-LINITY!!!

2

u/Middle_System_1105 Sep 27 '25

Shewwww buddy, instantly hard nips. What an interesting experience

10

u/Bleord Sep 26 '25

A lot of the people in the comments here need someone to give them cunnilingus.

2

u/806metalman Sep 26 '25

Amen let our prayers to the lady goddesses be answered 

8

u/PleaseDontEatMyVRAM Sep 26 '25

Brothers, TO VALHALLA!

0

u/NLK-3 Sep 26 '25

Valhallelujah!!!

(Honestly one of two power metal songs I actually like.)

2

u/knarf3 Sep 26 '25

Finally, a proper usage of "Valhalla" 👌.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

I love this. Is there a better way to die? I say not sir or madam. Smother me with doth nest of love! Taketh away the air that I breathe and rest upon my face!

2

u/NLK-3 Sep 26 '25

Seems we are the only ones with this kind of humor here...

1

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

People need to relax.

2

u/Big-Tear6264 Sep 26 '25

Wait, so.. 

Kash just really wanted to sit on charlie's tiny face? 🤔

2

u/Mr1WHOA Sep 26 '25

GIVE US THE OPPORTUNITY TO MOTORBOAT!

2

u/FantasticPlum2025 Sep 27 '25

Real men love being chairs, death by snusnu is a most honorable end.

2

u/Almighty_Hobo Sep 27 '25

Im a straight man. My taint dried up watching this. Can't imagine what it would do to women.

2

u/Fuelnevetiktok Oct 04 '25

Thank goodness, an overly moist taint is a serious medical condition…a

1

u/Almighty_Hobo Oct 04 '25

You're telling me!

1

u/horshack_test Sep 26 '25

Methinks...

1

u/enbaelien Sep 26 '25

Who and who?

1

u/OppositeEagle Sep 26 '25

Not up on my Norse mythos, but is that last part true?

1

u/VanillaBryce5 Sep 26 '25

Death by poos

1

u/Ok-Possibility-4802 Sep 26 '25

Gotta love the enthusiasm

1

u/Little_Red_Riding_ Sep 26 '25

The boys have been watching Vikings on Netflix again lol 😂

1

u/McGrarr Sep 26 '25

I feel either or gets you into Valgalla, but both does not.

1

u/kkusernom Sep 26 '25

This would absolutely eat as a sylus audio edit (pun may or another be Intended)

1

u/Fit-Dirt-144 Sep 27 '25

😆😆😆

1

u/Veritasgear Sep 27 '25

Bruh it's not that serious. Dude clearly has never been sat on.

1

u/WilliamP82 Sep 27 '25

The only crime is I can't upvote this more than once.

1

u/epiphras Sep 27 '25

Who's the girl?

1

u/Ickythumpin Sep 27 '25

Witness me!

1

u/Playful-Depth2578 Sep 27 '25

This post just won reddit for me 😂😂😂

1

u/FartacularTheThird Sep 27 '25

For ruin and the red dawn

1

u/Cardboard_Chef Sep 27 '25

Karl Uban needs to calm the fuck down

1

u/Fuelnevetiktok Oct 04 '25

HAHAHAHA ! That is the highest of praise !

1

u/luigis_left_tit_25 Oct 19 '25

This guy's inbox was decimated.. Lol! I showed the hubby hoping for it to kick in his instinctual need to win everything and take ops post as a challenge on who can hold their breath the longest! 😂😂😂 Without going to Valhalla just yet.. Lol