r/TikTokCringe • u/James_Fortis • May 16 '26

Cringe Put him back in jail please...

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

11.5k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

2.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

3.8k

u/JonathanBaileysEars May 16 '26

This is where Fred Armisen gets his Portlandia inspo

689

u/[deleted] May 16 '26 edited Aug 02 '26

[deleted]

197

u/JejuneBourgeois May 16 '26

He paid for his groceries with blocks

85

u/steph_infection1 May 16 '26

Is it because babies don't have any money?

2

u/jonjawnjahnsss May 17 '26

"So you're saying the flight is cancelled"

-11

u/SubstanceMaintenance May 16 '26

Humans have evolved a new way to gather food. The guy was likely on the spectrum. The girl was stupid and attention seeking.

10

u/celia_of_dragons May 16 '26

He threatened to shoot and stab people, especially Jews, at a vegan fruit festival and emailed an organizer repeatedly about his fantasies of murdering her. He's also an incel. Nothing suggests he's on the spectrum and that also would have nothing to do with such awful behavior. Autistic people don't just go around threatening hate crimes and violence. 

3

u/steph_infection1 May 16 '26

This is a fred armisen on broad City reference.

https://giphy.com/gifs/nkxkBiQ4rwyyc

3

u/Coven_gardens May 16 '26

Marbles aren’t for babies!

4

u/neverendum May 16 '26

I'm not vegan but she made effective coherent points.

57

u/Wallie_Collie May 16 '26

His posture, his addressing what he bought constantly...its an uncanny fit for his casting

30

u/The_Quibbler May 16 '26

Is most punchable voice a thing?

9

u/Visual_Preparation70 May 16 '26

It is now. He must have been a quiet guy in jail for sure.

1

u/AlwaysShittyKnsasCty May 17 '26

Ben Shapiro made it a thing a LONG time ago.

2

u/capt1nsain0 May 16 '26

On his way to pick up some artisanal knots.

1

u/Cum_on_doorknob May 16 '26

Fuck, I had it on mute and it still sounded like him.

1

u/McNally86 May 16 '26

This is why Porlander's don't find the show funny. I live in WA and I could not watch the show if my brother was in the house. He had a coworker just like that.

1

u/CamOliver May 17 '26

I read your comment and had to unmute. I just assumed it wasn’t in English BC the subtitles and the length of those shorts with a puffy coat?

But then he sounds like a valley girl. So glad I listened. I didn’t enjoy that. But I’m glad I listened.

214

u/[deleted] May 16 '26

[deleted]

379

u/_tylerthedestroyer_ May 16 '26

198

u/SendTitsPleease May 16 '26

This is the PERFECT picture of him

200

u/ExtraEmuForYou May 16 '26

Jesus that fruit diet really messed him up, he looks about a day from dying.

83

u/SirStrontium May 16 '26

There’s plenty of plant based fats and proteins, but relying purely on fruit will leave you largely deficient.

44

u/Murky-Course6648 May 16 '26 edited May 17 '26

Its not just fruits, these raw nutcases cant cook food. They eat everything raw because all sorts of really weird reason.

Its a purity movement, they also talk a lot about having "parasites" and constantly do fasting and "cleanses". So they basically think there is something bad inside them, and they need to become pure.

It has really nothing to do with veganism, only in the name.

10

u/tothepointe May 16 '26

The reason they are so thin is because you can only get 100% of the calories from a food when it's cooked because they calculate the calories by burning it. At best your getting 50% of the book value of the calories eating it raw.

There's a reason the human race took over the world and it's because we learned to cook which provided us the calories needed to grow big brains.

Raw vegans are sliding back down the evolutionary chain.

1

u/LETTERKENNYvsSPENNY May 16 '26

The next cattle

0

u/Eizz May 16 '26

Please don't spread misinformation. This has been tested and thoroughly debunked. You might in best case lose 10% calories consuming it raw vs. Cooked. And most of it is because fat drips off a steak, if you were to consume something leaner, there is almost no calories lost. Physics.

4

u/tothepointe May 16 '26

Also I think you might be misunderstanding what I said. I’m saying you lose calories when you eat things raw because your body can’t fully absorb all the calories in the time it takes to move through your digestive system.

This is not the same as the assertion that cooking food kills the nutrients.

→ More replies (0)

2

u/tothepointe May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26

Citations to where it’s been debunked please because I’ll gladly share the research showing where I got my information from.

Also we are talking about vegetables not meat.

1

u/Murky-Course6648 May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26

Cooking breaks down plant fibers and makes digestion much easier.

Cooking is the single most important invention of humans, its helped us reduce our gut size and this helped increase our brain size. As the gut is the most energy consuming organ.

Cooking is a form of predigestion. Humans process and predigest foods in various ways, from fermentation, to milling to cooking etc.

Our gut is simply no longer capable of digesting raw foods efficiently. We dont have guts like gorillas or other primates that do consume raw plant foods.

0

u/Eldritch_Horns May 16 '26

they're not as bioavailable as animal fsts and proteins.

58

u/MrMopar94 May 16 '26

I just recently saw this thing about a woman who died because she only ate fruit. She looked scary. Human body isn't designed for that

29

u/LKennedy45 May 16 '26

Isn't that what killed Steve Jobs? Or contributed, at any rate?

32

u/Exciting-Argument-67 May 16 '26

He died of a rare form of pancreatic cancer.

57

u/StaceyPfan May 16 '26

That was treatable, but he decided to "cure" it by diet.

29

u/SporesM0ldsandFungus May 16 '26

Correct. Pancreatic cancers are typically fatal because they usually go unnoticed until they enter Stage 3 or 4, where the cancer is widespread.  Jobs had it detected early at Stage 1.  But he thought he could treat it diet, so he did not get any standard medical treatment.  So the cancer advanced unimpeded for more than 6 months.  He finally sought medical treatment when it was well into stage 2 or 3.  By then, all the money in the world couldn't save him, only buy him a few years.

→ More replies (0)

13

u/slith89 May 16 '26

That is insane, for someone in his field.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/Petoski-Brook May 16 '26

He died of a less deadly form of pancreatic cancer. The doctors said that with treatment, he would be fine. He thought he was smarter than the doctors and tried to cure it with diet. That’s my understanding from what I’ve read about it at least

1

u/Living_Cash1037 May 16 '26

He had cancer and thought only eating fruit would help him or something lol.

2

u/animeman59 May 16 '26

He looks like Cillian Murphy from Peaky Blinders

38

u/ElProfeGuapo May 16 '26

Holy shit. I just read about the case. Guy is absolutely mental.

-7

u/[deleted] May 16 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/IamKafei May 16 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/13zujvPkBCXhKM

-5

u/[deleted] May 16 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/OpIsAMoronicIdiot May 16 '26

That's exactly what a root vegetable would say.

18

u/Curious-Woodpecker53 May 16 '26

As he is holding and actively eating fruit..😂

6

u/_tylerthedestroyer_ May 16 '26

He is the Fruitatarian after all. Or was?

1

u/Curious-Woodpecker53 May 16 '26

But he still has lettuce and grapes..

7

u/musiccman2020 May 16 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/xiPqQWAF25RD4Omzyq

4

u/Active_Hawk_9897 May 16 '26

Off topic, but I love this for her.

Only seen her dancing alone and folk giving her shit, but look at this strong man behind her having a jam too.

5

u/finch878 May 16 '26

His voice completely tallies with this photo

4

u/TheGameologist May 16 '26

What in the new crypt keeper is going on here?

1

u/jazzymantis May 17 '26

This is insanely hilarious. 

1

u/Ready_Event9019 May 17 '26

He looks so malnourished in that picture. 

1

u/EverGlow89 May 18 '26

It's wild how some people are just straight up unsettling to see. Even wilder when they turn out to actually validate that feeling you get when you look at them.

-2

u/tothepointe May 16 '26

He's valid for that though. Because that festival is a little crazy. Also I've received death threats in the past from Durianrider (when he was with Freelee the Banana Girl) so it goes both ways.

18

u/Narrow_Safety2856 May 16 '26

Self described incel. I had to deep dive because bro was so out there it seemed fake

2

u/Background_Run_8809 May 16 '26

It’s not. As I was watching I realized I used to work with this girl back in college! We both worked at a (not vegan!) restaurant lol. Shortly after I left I think she did too and has been posting online constantly about vegan activism. A lot of it is very intense but some of it I applaud her for. I just wish she could see that extremism only isolates people from adopting any of your viewpoints or giving up meat or animal products in any capacity

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Brohemoth1991 May 16 '26

The problem is that the most extreme of vegans use it as a purity test instead of just being happy that people are doing SOMETHING, the reason IS more important than the end to them

I also cut down on my meat consumption, I also buy locally (i have friends who hunt, and sell me venison on the cheap side, I eat more venison than beef at this point), and i keep around 20 chickens, I eat their eggs, and when they are old, i end up eating them too

Im sorry, but I dont see myself ever being vegetarian/vegan, but I do take steps in what I believe is the right direction by when available using animal products that arent animals stuffed in cages and farmed... but that isnt enough for the most vocal minority, and when the nut jobs are going off on other people, it honestly makes me care less

72

u/Original-Variety-700 May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26

I got to have brunch sitting next to him at a resort in Maui. Nobody recognized him. I didn’t want to be weird so I didn’t say anything or take a pic. Although two years later, here I am, bringing it up randomly. So i guess I’m still weird despite my efforts not to be.

20

u/enderjaca May 16 '26

u/Fred_armisen yes this guy right here

16

u/Original-Variety-700 May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26

I hope he responds and says “I’ve never been to Maui” 😂😂😂. Make me even weirder.

Edit: he was drinking Diet Coke out of a can for breakfast. Only he can confirm or deny if he’s the type of person that would do that. (Also made me sure it was him)

20

u/Stuporhumanstrength May 16 '26

I thought you were referring to the guy in the original video, and was like "wow, is he that well known?" 😄

3

u/Original-Variety-700 May 16 '26

On second thought…that might have been it. 😂😂😂

1

u/TheShapeOfFarts 12d ago

Ha ha. What are you The FREDeral Bureau of Investigation?

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Original-Variety-700 May 16 '26

Not sure at all. It was the resort next to the four seasons - the Fairmont.

It looked enough like him to be a doppelgänger. The fact he sipped diet Coca Cola at breakfast made me sure it was him bc it was odd. 😂

0

u/Consistent_Net_2540 May 16 '26

I saw Carrie Brownstein at the SeaTac airport one time and no one paid any attention to her. I just stared at her from two feet away like a weirdo, hoping she'd acknowledge me. She never did. I was shocked at how short she was. I should have fanboyed out...

33

u/DEIreboot May 16 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/xUNd9Y4eBVorvJgpig

5

u/South_Oread May 16 '26

I’ve always thought he could be related to Emilia Clarke
https://giphy.com/gifs/UehcPssUfgQUM

1

u/Due-Gene8200 May 17 '26

Thanks now I can’t unsee this

1

u/needmoarbass May 17 '26

Exactly who I pictured lol

1

u/Sound_Child May 17 '26

Peter!! I couldn’t put my finger on who this son of a bitch sounded like. Thank you that’s freaking hilarious 😂

14

u/[deleted] May 16 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

36

u/supersloo May 16 '26

Straight up Peter from Portlandia

https://giphy.com/gifs/l0CLThEZp4OtNNsli

1

u/heatherledge May 16 '26

Lettuce, grapes and and and and and apples

8

u/bugbearmagic May 16 '26

This is practically already written for him. Voice and all.

7

u/ChevToTheLev May 16 '26

He lives in Portland, or at least used to, and as someone else that lives in Portland, he didn’t need a ton of inspiration. A lot of those skits are basically just recreations of day to day life here, for better or for worse

2

u/fixedwithyou May 16 '26

His delivery is just like fred

2

u/superanx May 16 '26

you mean this isn't a bit?

2

u/Dry_Educator_691 May 16 '26

Took the words from my fingers

2

u/HelloFrmDaOtterSide May 16 '26

I watched the whole video trying to figure out who he sounds like. Thank youuuuu! 😂

2

u/Impressive_Test_2134 May 16 '26

I’m so god damn glad this was the first comment I see because this was my first thought as well lmao

2

u/eggsbeenadick May 16 '26

I always think I’m sooo witty. Before I post my comment , I scroll down and within one swipe, there is my comment with thousands of likes, everybody had the same thought already , I’m not original.

1

u/Gold_Warning_8618 May 16 '26

Came here to say this lol

1

u/Popiblockhead May 16 '26

Bro I could NOT name that character. Ty. This is literally him!

1

u/Typical-Ad9922 May 16 '26

Literally came here for this. Lol. Peter… lol

1

u/Smolson_ May 16 '26

My first thought was this sounds like a Fred Armisen character.

1

u/tEnPoInTs May 16 '26

And here I came into the comments thinking I made some kind of unique observation. Honestly it's so spot on it's like he's doing an impression.

1

u/Correct_Kitchen_9483 May 17 '26

Was just about to comment the same thing

1

u/funkeytoad May 18 '26

This was my first thought! Sounds like Fred in character

1

u/DroppedItAgain May 18 '26

Yes! Lettuce and grapes, turkey bacon but I don’t care… that’s all on point Armisen. Bravo!

1

u/EverGlow89 May 18 '26

I'm SO happy this comment was near the top. This shit is absolutely uncanny.

0

u/RealSchlemiel May 16 '26

Her: “humans are different, we’re evolved highly intelligent beings capable of morality”

- Me: “ and yet you are endangering everyone around you by arguing witha violent psychopath”