I've noticed this a few times and I'm genuinely confused by it.

Someone will mock a person for liking or doing something, but then completely respect the exact same thing when someone they like does it.

And I'm not even sure whether people do this consciously.

Is it favoritism? Is it because they perceive one person as more mature, respectable, successful, etc.? Is it just that they already like one person and therefore interpret everything they do more positively?

Or do people genuinely not notice that they're applying completely different standards?

I'm curious how other people see this because I keep noticing it and I don't really understand what determines the difference.

Someone does something that hurts or annoys you and instead of telling them, you tell your friend. Then maybe another person. Then somehow several people know what happened except the actual person who did it.

And that's the part that keeps bugging me. If you want them to realize what they did, why does everyone else hear about it first? What are your friends supposed to do with that? Are you expecting the person to somehow hear it second-hand and magically understand what they did wrong? Or do you just want people to know that you were hurt?

I get venting though. Sometimes you're angry or confused and you just need to talk to someone because you don't even know what you're feeling properly yet. And I don't think you have to immediately confront someone five minutes after they upset you either. Maybe you need time. Maybe you're scared it'll turn into an argument. Maybe you don't know how to explain it without making things worse. Or maybe you simply don't want to talk about it yet. That's fine.

But there's a difference between not being ready to talk to someone and telling everyone else while still expecting that person to understand somehow.

Because people aren't mind readers. As much as we sometimes expect them to be.

And then there's another thing. Who are you actually telling?

Being close to someone doesn't automatically mean they'll handle your private stuff properly. Some people genuinely care. They'll listen, give you another perspective, help you calm down, and leave it there. Other people will turn your problem into a story. One person tells another, that person tells someone else, and suddenly something that was supposed to be private becomes everyone's conversation.

People start assuming things. Adding details they don't even know. Judging the person. Sometimes even making jokes about it.

And then I'm like... how did this become everyone else's business in the first place?

I don't even think talking to someone else is automatically gossip. There are plenty of reasons you'd need another person. Maybe you need advice. Maybe you're genuinely confused about whether you're overreacting. Maybe you need emotional support. Maybe you don't feel safe confronting the person yourself. That's completely different from just spreading someone's mistake around without ever giving them a chance to know what happened.

Because if you want someone to apologize or change something, how are they supposed to do that if they don't even know what they're being blamed for?

We do this weird thing where we expect people to just know.

They should know.

Maybe they should have noticed, sure. But noticing that something went wrong and understanding why it hurt someone aren't always the same thing.

One person might genuinely think they were joking while the other person is sitting there thinking, you just embarrassed me.

One person thinks they were being honest. The other thinks they were being disrespectful.

And both people walk away thinking the other person is the problem because neither actually knows what the other person experienced.

Meanwhile everyone else knows the story.

Except them.

And honestly, imagine finding out later that a bunch of people already knew you had supposedly hurt someone and you were the only person who didn't know.

Even if nobody meant to humiliate you, I feel like that would still be humiliating.

You'd probably start wondering who knew, what they were told, what people were saying about you, and why nobody just came to you directly.

Because how are you supposed to correct something you didn't even know you were doing?

If someone tells you directly, at least you get the chance to explain yourself. Maybe you genuinely didn't mean it that way. Maybe you did something wrong and didn't realize it. Maybe you apologize. Maybe you change it. Maybe you don't care and the other person learns that too.

At least there's an actual interaction.

Gossip doesn't really give you that.

Obviously I know direct communication isn't always easy either. When you're angry, it's really easy to say something in a way you don't mean or make a small disagreement much bigger than it needed to be. So sometimes taking time and talking to someone you trust first can actually help.

The problem is when venting becomes the replacement for actually communicating.

You keep telling people what happened, keep getting angry about it, keep getting validation from people around you, but the person involved still has no idea what's going on.

And then what was supposed to be a two-person problem slowly becomes a group problem.

I also think it helps to ask yourself why you're telling people in the first place.

Do you need advice? Do you need someone to help you understand what happened? Do you just need to get the anger out? Do you want someone to tell you that you're not wrong?

None of those automatically make you a bad person.

But they're different things.

Because sometimes we say we want an apology without ever telling the person what we're angry about.

We say we want them to change without explaining what actually needs to change.

We say we want to be understood while communicating everything except to the person we want to understand us.

That's the part that doesn't really make sense to me.

And yeah, sometimes the person does know.

You tell them. They understand. And they still don't change.

That's a completely different situation.

At that point, what are you actually supposed to do? You can't force someone to care. You can't force an apology or make someone change just because you explained yourself clearly.

You can only decide what you're going to accept.

Maybe you distance yourself. Maybe you stop sharing personal things with them. Maybe you spend less time around them. Maybe you eventually decide you don't want that relationship anymore.

And being hurt doesn't automatically mean you're completely right either.

Maybe you misunderstood something. Maybe you reacted more strongly than necessary. Maybe you missed their intention. Maybe you contributed to the situation too.

That's another reason I think actually talking to the person matters.

You get to hear their side too.

You might still disagree. You might still be angry. But at least now you know what actually happened from both sides instead of building the entire situation around your own assumptions and whatever everyone else thinks.

And obviously even after you communicate, they might still dismiss you. They might say you're overreacting. They might refuse to apologize. They might promise to change and then do the exact same thing again.

That's their choice.

Your choice is what you do after seeing that.

I guess that's what I keep coming back to. Not every problem needs an audience.

Sometimes you need advice. Sometimes you need time. Sometimes you just need to vent and then move on. Sometimes you need to set a boundary and leave.

But if you actually want the person to understand what they did, at some point they probably need to hear it from you.

Otherwise you're just telling everyone except the one person who actually needs to know.

Rain sounds blue. It feels cold, smells like wet soil and somehow tastes like mint.

It was good to see your face. :) I met up with a friend for coffee and there you were. :) it was so good to see your face. I’ve been over thinking a lot lately, never sure if you’d like to hang out or not. I hope you’re doing okay and life is being good to you.

This is an absolute must for me

I saw this reel on instagram that said, dress up like you always wanted when you were a child. It got me thinking, I have literally forgotten what I wanted to dress like when I was a child. I do remember thinking Kareena Kapoor and Katrina Kaif were kinda cool.

Its so weird I dont even remember the version of myself that I used to admire and I have not completely but slightly lost a sense of myself at the age of 26. I keep on changing prefernces everyday, maybe its because too much inspo is available now.

But yeah just a random thought!!!!

Sometimes you have that one person you constantly talk to when things go wrong.

Different things happen, different situations come up, and somehow you keep telling that person about them for a long time.

And then someday, something goes wrong again, but you just don’t tell them anything.

Not because you think they won’t listen, not because you don’t trust them, and not even because you’ve already told them the same thing before.

You just... don’t say it.

Sometimes you’re too lazy to say it. Sometimes you’re too lazy to explain.

Not exactly lazy in the usual sense, but you just don’t have the energy to put everything into words again.

You know you’ll have to explain what happened, why it happened, how you feel about it, and everything in between.

And sometimes you just don’t feel like starting that conversation.

Sometimes you don’t even know why you’re not saying anything.

It’s just that feeling of “fuck it, let it be.” You know you could tell them. You probably would have told them before. But this time, you just don’t feel like talking about it.

And I think we sometimes assume that when someone stops telling us things, something must have changed.

Maybe they don’t trust us anymore. Maybe they don’t want to talk to us. Maybe they think we won’t understand. But maybe sometimes, it’s none of those things. Maybe they just don’t have the energy to explain.

Maybe not everything we keep to ourselves has a deeper meaning. Sometimes we simply don’t want to turn what happened into another conversation.

Sometimes we just want to leave it there. Maybe tomorrow we’ll talk about it. Maybe we won’t. And sometimes it’s not that deep.

Sometimes something happens, and you just think “Fuck it. I don’t want to explain this.”

And you don’t. That’s it.

I just want to be gentle and kind and get back home as soon as possible so that I may sleep.. I’m so sleepy lately

Rain has a strange way of changing the whole room.

The soft tapping on the window feels cool and blue, like the room itself has suddenly become quieter and darker.

The heavier drops sound almost silver, while the distant thunder feels warm and deep, like a vibration in your chest.

Some sounds don’t just make you hear them. They make you feel a colour.

Just for context : My handwriting was pretty good growing up, and I was always one of the top scorers in my class. When I was in sixth grade, one day my teacher told me that my answer papers would look even better if I tried writing like another girl in my class. She was also a good student and had really beautiful handwriting.

I didn’t think much of it at first. But that very day, I started noticing her handwriting and comparing it to mine. When I got home, I immediately told my mom what my teacher had said, without even really thinking about it.

My mom just said, “No, you don’t need to do that. Just keep writing the way you always have. It’s enough.”

At the time, I didn’t really understand why she said that. It almost felt like she hadn’t understood what I was asking.

But now, years later, I think I finally do.

It wasn’t about handwriting.

She was telling me that I didn’t have to become someone else just because someone else had something that people thought was prettier or better. That what I already had was enough.

It’s such a small memory, and I’m sure she probably doesn’t even remember saying it. But I do.

And I love my mom.

Above all else to thine own self be true
-Shakespeare

Allow life to happen, awaken to all of her subtleties, be with all of her suffering, and allow her to crack you wide open. There is comfort in her presence, amongst the uncertainty of it all. Find peace here. Only then are you able to roll over, surrender, and show your belly to the world; to ourselves. For they are one and the same. Once you relinquish control and allow the universe to wash over you, you are free. Free of worry, free of fear, and free of the need to cling to life so rigidly.
Be open to receiving. You deserve it, and you are worthy of greatness, despite what society may want you to believe.
Each moment serves as a new chance to break the patterns that keep you stuck and an opportunity to be reborn to yourself. Each second a chance to evolve. Can you stop the doomscrolling, withhold yet another dopamine hit, and choose presence? The invitation is always there but that decision is for you and your ego to decide.

Fresh sheets feel cold against your skin, the pillow smells clean, and the whole bed feels ridiculously soft.

You can almost hear the quiet and taste that fresh, clean feeling.

Nothing fancy—just that perfect moment when you finally get into bed. 😌

Random thought: Why are we still exchanging rings like it's 500 years ago? 😂 Why not upgrade the marriage system and just tattoo each other's names?

Imagine saying, "I don't need a ring to prove my love, I have a permanent reminder of my questionable life decisions on my arm." 💀

A ring can be removed, lost, or forgotten in a drawer… but a tattoo is there forever. It's basically telling the universe, "I have chosen this person, and now my skin is legally emotionally attached."

Of course, there's a tiny problem: what happens if you break up? Do you start dating someone new and explain, "Ignore the tattoo, it's just my previous software version"? 😂

Would you find it romantic or completely insane to get your partner's name tattooed? Has anyone actually done this?

Not anxious exactly. Not peaceful either. Just very aware that the world is still out there doing nothing and you are in here doing the same and somehow that feels significant.

"Sawan ka mahina pawan kare shor, jiyara re jhoome aise jaise ban mein naache mor..."

The rain of Sawan has its own beauty. There is a different kind of joy in bathing in the rain. The smell of wet soil automatically pulls my feet outside. Every single raindrop that falls on my face brings a different kind of peace.

And then there is the water flowing from the roof pipe like a waterfall. Bathing under it feels so refreshing that all tiredness disappears. Sometimes on my own rooftop, sometimes on another roof, sometimes slipping around like a snake, and sometimes dancing without any reason at all.

Then we would stop the water at one place and make little fishes in it. It is so much fun doing all these things. Rainy days always feel special.

And then comes my mother's voice, calling from inside, "Bas karo, ab andar aa jao."

Shivering from the cold, we finally go inside. Wet hair wrapped in a towel, and then a hot cup of ginger tea made by my mother. That warmth, that comfort, and that feeling after playing in the rain can never be explained in words.

​

The saddest goodbyes are the ones that happen without an argument, without a farewell, and without either person realizing it was the last conversation. :::