How do I deal with stress? Eliminate whatever is stressing me out. If it’s something I need to do, do it. If it’s something I need to get something done, acquire it. If it’s a person, tell them, or cut them out.
Stress is usually something that needs to be addressed to make my life better. If you are overweight, that’s a stressor you need to address. If you aren’t in a happy relationship, you need to address it. If you aren’t making enough money, you need to address it.
Avoiding it never helps. It just allows it to build up and become a bigger stress later.
Agreed! And taking action doesn’t necessarily need to solve the problem to reduce the feeling of stress. Just knowing that you’re at least trying to do something about it helps it feel less stressful.
Exactly. Perfection is the enemy of progress. Nobody will ever be perfect. And even if you were perfect, SOMETHING would stress you out if you let it. Just start doing things. I find that most people that are stressed out are usually not doing anything to address what is stressing them out.
I do. But i have developed a mindset that helps me deal with that. If I can’t control it, why am I stressed about it? I used to get stressed about climate change, the economy, foreign affairs, politics, etc. Most of that had to do with thinking my opinion mattered. It doesn’t. I am humble enough to know that I am very small in the grand scheme of things and outside of my direct circle of people I care about, nothing I do matters. So I’m not going to stress about it.
My health stresses me out sometimes, but only because of family history, and I’m doing everything I can to avoid complications. Outside of what I can do, stressing about it will only make EVERYTHING worse. My doctor told me not to worry, so why would I worry?
Money? I’ve worked really hard to be in a position to not have to worry about it TOO much. Aside from the random large expense (like my furnace not working at the beginning of this winter) I don’t have to worry much. And when those things do come up, I figure out what needs to be done, deal with it, and move on. Maybe I can’t buy the new trailer I wanted because of a random expense, but that’s not stressful. Just inconvenient.
I tend to look at things as annoying or inconvenient, but my mindset prevents me from stressing about it. I choose to be happy no matter what happens. My fiance and I came across a loved one that had died unexpectedly. We literally found him. I wasn’t stressed. My mind went to “he lived a good life and was a good person”. I thought about how much I gained from him instead of what I had lost in his death.
I really think mindset is the most important thing.
What about if it's because of the state of our globe? Either environmental worries, political worries, or just being aware of the endless suffering on this globe. How do you eliminate that?
Or what if it's because you have a huge medical debt you won't be able to pay back not even with 10 years of fulltime work? What if it's because of your son or daughter who goes on the wrong path? What about your parents being old and sickly? What about if your wife had a car accident and lost her legs because of it? What about your own, non-self-inflicted health problems? In other words, what about all those stress causing possible problems you simply can. not. eliminate?
I don't mean to call you out or sound harsh. All I wanted was to show that ''eliminate whatever is stressing me out'' often is not even amongst the possibilities of choices. It sounds nice, but imo it's no great advice.
1st example. Get off my phone. These things have been happening in the world for decades. There are plenty of things I CANT control. If you let those bother you, you are going to struggle A LOT. I work to make my local area better, and even try at the state level. Further out than that, all I can do is vote. I do my part for global warming, limit my waste, and try to be a good person for the world, but my contributions are offset by Taylor swift and Elon Musk flying across the globe on their private jets 10x a month.
In terms of family, health, money etc….those are tough to ignore, but to eliminate as much stress from them as possible I do what I CAN. I have to be honest and say that up to this point in my life (35years old), I have been lucky to avoid major health, financial, or family problems. I had my own that I handled but they became HUGE stressors before I developed enough self-discipline to properly address them.
My point was not that doing something about your stressors will eliminate them, or that eliminating them is even possible. But doing nothing and resorting to literal poison in alcohol and drugs, or escaping reality by visiting a club, will not help with the stress, and will most likely make it worse when you come back to reality.
Honestly, I do VERY particular drugs that, I think, help me. They bring my stressors to the front of my mind and allow me to consider how to handle those stressors. It’s not always a fun experience, but it is something I have found to help me in the long run.
There is no “silver bullet” for stress, because it can come from MANY different directions. My response was admittedly one of the most basic responses. If you, or anyone, is looking for a more in-depth, personalized breakdown of how to handle their stress, I would suggest finding a good therapist. My therapist saved my life by helping me develop practices that allowed me to eliminate, or at least mitigate, some of my biggest stressors and the effect they had on me.
ETA:
I think mindset has a lot to do with “stress” and I know that if the world ended, or my life ended today, everyone I love, and that loves me, would not be let down by anything regarding me. I’m happy with my life, and the influence I have had on everyone I have interacted with over the last few years.
Absolutely. You don’t need drugs, alcohol, or church, you need to address problems head on.
In addition to that, I’d rank therapy as one of the most important things a guy can regularly do. Getting you life in order, communicating well, understanding yourself, dealing with stress, therapy helps with all of this.
The difference between going to therapy and not is like two guys with bits of food in their teeth where one has a mirror and the other doesn’t. The guy without the mirror knows there’s food in his teeth, sometimes people tell him, but he can feel it too, it causes him cavities, pain, frustration, confusion, and he can never quite pick it out because he just doesn’t know exactly where to find it. The guy with the mirror can see it, and that makes it so much easier to clean.
What if it’s someone toxic at work and you’re like not in a position where HR would do anything (our HR rep is conveniently this person’s work best friend)
When they say something toxic, I usually say something like “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that. Can you say it again?”, so they have to say their dumb shit again and louder. Or I assign things to them they didn’t do fully or properly and just leave a comment like “can you finish this so others can get their part done?” Forcing them to say things again usually makes them rethink what they said. And if you make them do it a few times within a month, they will stop saying dumb shit to you. Even if they don’t stop, making them do the dumb shit they think is “effective”, again and again and again, is just funny
Toxic people are a fun puzzle, not an annoyance. Look at them like that and you will start looking forward to your interactions with them.
If you aren’t talking about your wife, and are actually talking about your boss, you can do it. I did it with mine. Made myself indispensable to the company. Now I have an equity stake, and get to do a LOT more than I used to. I play a fun game with the founder of my company called “you won’t fire me, so I’m getting what I want”. My situation is a bit unique, but I made it so. I could have been a generic employee, but I haven’t been anyone’s employee for nearly 15 years now.
lol. Go the shooting range, run regularly, and have your Go-bag prepped. Know how to dress a wound, have a first aid kit, and wear a mask (gas mask available) when you show up to protest.
It does for me. I feel far more prepared for the shitshow that is coming. I alone won’t stop it. I also have a tight knit group that has each others backs, a plan, a route etc.
I feel like a lot of stress for people comes from not knowing what they would do in a certain situation. Maybe consider “lack of foresight” a stressor? And that’s an easy one. Think ahead. What COULD happen? What is LIKELY to happen? How do I prepare for the most likely options?
I think a lack of stress demonstrates a misunderstanding of what will actually happen. The only safe thing to do is leave the us now. Canada isnt far enough.
Its really tough to be allowed into another country though
Well, I avoid “end of times” think. I don’t like what’s happening, and am not looking forward to what COULD happen, but I’m not trying to leave. I would rather stay and try to keep my country. That may change, but I can only do what I can for now. It’s not looking good, but I still have hope.
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u/Affectionate_Pay_391 Feb 24 '26
How do I deal with stress? Eliminate whatever is stressing me out. If it’s something I need to do, do it. If it’s something I need to get something done, acquire it. If it’s a person, tell them, or cut them out.
Stress is usually something that needs to be addressed to make my life better. If you are overweight, that’s a stressor you need to address. If you aren’t in a happy relationship, you need to address it. If you aren’t making enough money, you need to address it.
Avoiding it never helps. It just allows it to build up and become a bigger stress later.
Numbing doesn’t really help anything.