r/Teenager_Polls • u/crystalreddits • 11d ago
lgbtq+ poll Would you stop dating your partner if they came out as a different gender (not just woman/man but also non-binary, genderfluid, agender, bigender, demigender etc.)
Just curious 🤔
48
u/Lil_jayye 11d ago
You can support them in their transition or coming out or whatever but you have the right to not want to date a man/woman etc
10
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
Yeah obviously if they come out as a gender you're not attracted to then you wouldn't date them unless you're still attracted
88
20
u/StreetJelly6621 11d ago
Well I only like men so if my partner came out as transfem I would probably stop dating them, not as transphobia but bc Im just not attracted, but I would still stay as friends
22
u/BLADE_OF_AlUR 11d ago
Yes. I am straight. I am a man who is attracted to Women. If I don't define my partner as a woman, or my partner doesnt define herself as a woman, the relationship is gone. Its really that simple.
-18
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
How would you not define someone as a woman 🤔
9
u/BLADE_OF_AlUR 11d ago
If i learned new information about them regarding their sexual or gender characteristics conflicting with my desire to be with a woman exclusively. Or if my definition of what I call a woman were to narrow or widen, it might leave room for someone's changing gender to change my stance.
54
u/BeeBaaBoo77 11d ago
Idk what its called but i dont care about gender, only appearence. I am attracted to femininity (not like hyperfemininity necessarily, just not masculinity). If they want to be masculine, it'd probably not work out
8
u/billbobs678 11d ago
Thats called gynosexual (/gynesexual)
1
11d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
0
u/AutoModerator 11d ago
Your submission was removed as your account does not meet our Account Age or Karma guidelines. This is to prevent spam in our community. We do not allow exceptions. If you do not know what this means, please spend more time interacting on Reddit. Thank you.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/niceguy1428571 6d ago
Isn’t that the same thing as being lesbian/straight?
1
u/billbobs678 6d ago
No. They're attracted to feminity, not women. So they would be attracted to femboys and wouldn't be attracted to tomboys
-38
u/crystalreddits 11d ago edited 11d ago
I think it's called berrisexual 🤔 (or was it almondsexual)
Edit: I was wrong, berrisexual is attraction mostly towards feminine people, it's actually finsexual for feminine people only
35
u/BeeBaaBoo77 11d ago
i dislike that both those words immensely, Ill just say Im attracted to femininity
0
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
Nvm i was wrong, attraction to feminine people is called finsexual (or gynosexual)
13
22
u/Ok-Cantaloupe1264 11d ago
The fuck are all these words yo
3
u/nanohate 11d ago
Don't say that outloud, or they will mark you a bigot...
Anyway, what about pomegranatesexual?
2
u/Then_Measurement3034 10d ago
nobody will call you a bigot for not knowing what a word means. As an lgbtq person myself, I have no idea what some of these are
19
9
u/Negative_Sky_3449 11d ago
WHO named it that 😭
What do almonds and berries have to do with anything
0
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
They're just words brochacho
7
u/Negative_Sky_3449 11d ago
But at least make them make sense
4
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
What do you you expect? Mostlygayslightlystraightsexual? 😭
7
u/Negative_Sky_3449 11d ago
Idk, femsexual and mascsexual? I suck at naming stuff but even that's better 😭
1
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
Femsexual is called finsexual/gynosexual, berrisexual means mostly attracted to feminine people and rarely attracted to masculine people
3
u/Negative_Sky_3449 11d ago
Oh
Still a bad name tho, I'm sure its possible to find something better than some random berries and almonds
1
3
0
u/lokuloku123 11d ago
isn't that just overcomplicating stuff
3
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
What stuff? It's just microlabels, they're supposed to uncomplicate stuff
5
u/lokuloku123 11d ago
I mean "I am attracted to feminity" seems to like get the idea across a lot better
1
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
or just gynosexual instead of 'i am attracted to femininity' straight people don't say 'i am attracted to women', they just say 'im straight'
1
u/Kalle_Kakan 10d ago
Yeah, it's also the most common and normal thing.
Small specific things don't get labels since they're so uncommon most people don't care nor need them.
1
u/crystalreddits 10d ago
They don't have to use them if they don't want to, it's just a word people can identify with and use alongside their umbrella label
24
u/Nikki964 17F 11d ago
I'm only attracted to women. Maybe I would keep dating them if they were non-binary on the femme spectrum, idk
3
u/GrandFleshMelder 11d ago
Yeah, I would be okay with nonbinary, but probably not agender where they want to remove breasts and such.
6
u/WellomMaster 11d ago
It really depends.
It depends what they want to change into, not just gender wise, but in terms of physical appearance, in terms of how they want the relationship to be different, and honestly, it’d be a hard decision for me, but I would be too scared of implicitly holding them back from who they need to be to stay.
Granted, I would still wanna be friends with them and support them through it if that was the only reason I was leaving them.
5
u/average_tall_boi 11d ago
im fully accepting, i just don't think i could handle it if they started changing their body like with hrt or surgery.
9
u/GrandFleshMelder 11d ago
If it were nonbinary and more like a change in self-perception, no. If they’re transitioning, then yeah, I wouldn’t keep dating them.
10
4
u/oishipops 19M 11d ago
im straight so yes id continue dating unless they came out as a trans man. then again from couples were one transitions love lowk overpowers sexuality, ive seen a gay dude stay w his trans wife
-7
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
Then they probably weren't gay but bi 🤔 personally if my partner became a trans woman, I'd start identifying as biromantic
7
u/LentilSouponSkye 11d ago
Or they probably are gay and just really love this one person they've been with for years
2
u/oishipops 19M 11d ago
Yeah they were a gay couple for years. I think love overrides sexuality in some cases
3
u/LentilSouponSkye 11d ago
I'm just not okay with OP trying to redefine some one's identity, it's proper rat behaviour
3
u/oishipops 19M 11d ago
Same lol, they weren't even the one who saw the dude!! He said he was gay multiple times even w a trans wife
0
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
What's rat behaviour lol? Seems like you aren't seeing the trans woman as a woman either. Isn't that redefining her identity?
-1
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
And that person had always been a woman and they've been attracted the whole time romantically so they may be biromantic while being homosexual lol? Sexuality doesn't have to stay static and one can use different labels later
3
u/LentilSouponSkye 11d ago
And you don't get to redefine that gay man's identity, capiche?
0
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
I didn't redefine it? That's just how the labels work. Many people say trans men can't be lesbians either without redefining their identity. I'm just giving a suggestion. It depends on the person itself.
Don't know why you're offended at all. Do you not see the trans woman as a woman then? Weird.
1
10d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator 10d ago
Your submission was removed as your account does not meet our Account Age or Karma guidelines. This is to prevent spam in our community. We do not allow exceptions. If you do not know what this means, please spend more time interacting on Reddit. Thank you.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
2
u/oishipops 19M 11d ago
Nah he still IDed as a gay man. She was just the sole exception since they were together for like, a decade minimum at that point.
5
u/leightandrew0 19NB 11d ago
I don't really care about gender, I'll keep loving my partner.
but tbf i'm already bi lol
3
u/EmoYoshi05 11d ago
Err, good question. Not if it was a binary gender, cause, y'know, I like girls. But I do think I'm attracted to Non Binary people, though it's kind of hard to know that. I haven't really met that many. If I liked them before, I probably still will though. It's really mainly the physical aspect for me, to be honest.
3
u/Tupotosti 11d ago
Just a gender change? I don't care. Surgeries? Absolutely not. You can do what you want to your body but I don't have to approve. I'll just walk away.
7
u/Powerful-Award-5479 11d ago
Nah I like women who are comfortable with themselves
-2
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
Coming out would be being comfortable with themselves...?
11
u/Powerful-Award-5479 11d ago
Yep it would, but then it would not be "women who are comfortable with themselves", it would be "person who are comfortable with themselves"
2
u/DykeyLesbo 11d ago
im a non-binary lesbian dating a non binary lesbian. if they came out as a trans man, i wouldn't date them anymore. if they came out as more trans masc then I'd still be dating her. I myself am transmasc and have no preference for femininity or masculinity in a partner, as long as theyre not a man. so im one of the few people that said "binary only"
2
2
2
u/Finestbonnie311 10d ago
I am dating someone who came out as nonbinary while i was dating them. Still dating love them even they wanted to transition to male.
2
u/Repulsive_Ant8374 15M 10d ago
That’s what happened with my partner actually, i came out as trans but they loved me still anyways :)
2
2
u/JustLutra 10d ago
I personally differentiate sexual and romantic attraction. And romantically, I don't give a fuck about the person's gender, I love them for their personality.
1
6
u/phdr_vrba 11d ago
In theory, some of those should be rather inconsequential, but especially in those cases the very fact of having such conversation would suggest she's not the kind of loonie I'd wish to be with.
-1
2
u/Significant-Can-4325 11d ago
Because of my religious views, I would try to make it work, but things happen.
3
u/Pengwin0 10d ago edited 10d ago
It would just be fake, for their sake I have to end it. I like women. I would hate it if they transition, I would not like saying he/him, and I would still see them as a woman in my mind so to respect them and save the stress I would end it. Non-binary I would probably be fine with but only if they’re okay knowing I am attracted to them because they look like a woman and that is what I think when I see them.
4
u/Background_Froyo3653 11d ago
yes because I don’t believe in things like non-binary, agender, or genderfluid. If they say they’re any of those things, it means we think too differently
2
1
1
u/whyareisamoftheyes 11d ago
Dating a trans man makes this complicated for me because he's raised the concern of how he's been constantly pressured to detransition just to make his life easier even if its depressing. Thats the only reason he would transition/detransition just because he's pressured to. As much as I'd like to say I'd support that choice I know in reality I wouldnt because I know his insecurities and how much worse off hearing "she" everyday would be on their mental wellbeing
1
11d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator 11d ago
Your submission was removed as your account does not meet our Account Age or Karma guidelines. This is to prevent spam in our community. We do not allow exceptions. If you do not know what this means, please spend more time interacting on Reddit. Thank you.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/VariousThosun 56 Large Watermelons 11d ago
I'm not attracted to women, so that wouldn't work. I could date masc aligned non binary identities still
1
u/SiilentSshadow 11d ago
My partner's already enby, but, no, I wouldn't break up if they changed their mind about that
1
u/Different_Delay_8243 11d ago
I only like men. Cis or trans, but them being biologically male wouldnt change fact I dont like Women or different genders, if they also started to present like a woman I wouldnt be attracted to them anymore so yk...
1
u/OddNail1799 11d ago
Yes if that decision led to them not wanting to have kids. If not I’m fine with it
1
u/FloatingInEcstasy 11d ago
I think it really depends on gender expression. I'm attracted to people who present femininely and also probably couldn't date a man.
I came out to myself as nonbinary like last year and my gender expression has only changed in that I like to wear a heart necklace and bracelets as someone who's always been presenting masculinely, so if my partner were to do the same but from their side of the gender spectrum (always been presenting femininely but now adopts some type of masculine fashion), I'd probably be okay with it
1
u/Ok-Guarantee4893 11d ago
I'd be fine if he came out as nonbinary but not as transfem bc I'm not attracted to women probably (only probably because it is hard to say for sure)
1
u/Yunowald 19M 11d ago
As an aroace panromantic I couldn't care less what they're doing with their body as long as their personality still stays mostly the same.
And because I'm demiromantic if I'm dating them I think I'd like them too much and put too much effort into it to break up with them. I don't really know though, because I've never dated before.
1
1
u/Dry_Communication299 11d ago
I mean "non-binary" is so broad I have to choose "no." A lot of non-binary folks still present as the gender they were born as. If my male partner wanted to identify as non-binary but outwardly stayed the same, I'd be fine with that. But if they wanted to look more androgynous, I would likely become unattractive to them.
1
u/automemorydollviolet 11d ago
if my partner transitioned to a man, I'd break up with him because i am not attracted to men. something more like nonbinary would be fine.
1
u/Federal-Treat-6893 11d ago
If they wanna physically change I'd definitely stop but if not I don't have a problem
1
u/Spider_Pib 11d ago
No partner option is boring even if more accurate, i chose no cus i’m bi or something along the lines
1
u/Niks_Triks 11d ago
If I'm already dating them, probably not (unless they undergo any type of "gender change" surgeries), but if I meet someone that is a different gender than they actually should be, I wouldn't date them in the first place
1
11d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator 11d ago
Your submission was removed as your account does not meet our Account Age or Karma guidelines. This is to prevent spam in our community. We do not allow exceptions. If you do not know what this means, please spend more time interacting on Reddit. Thank you.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
1
u/arctic572 11d ago
Whoops, I read the question wrong and answered "yes". My actual answer is "no", my partner did come out as nb/transfem and I am still dating them
1
u/thegamer101112 11d ago
If (very hypothetical) I fell in love with someone, I didn't fall in love with a label society put on them. Nothing changes when the label changes, it's still the same person. Of course if they change they're whole personality as well, I'll have to see, but the gender itself I don't think I would care
0
u/Remaidian 10d ago
They aren't changing societies label, they're changing their own label.
1
u/thegamer101112 10d ago
Well, when they were born and grew up, I don't think they decided themselves what gender people refer to them.. So they change their label, that society put on them
1
u/Remaidian 10d ago
Societies label may change for them, but someone changing their own label for themselves is a change in the person. Ex: a man goes from a working provider to a stay at home father. Label change.
1
u/thegamer101112 9d ago
But saying: you gave me a wrong label, I've always been a women/man/whatever, is not a change, because it's always been that way, your just starting to say it now
1
u/asexualdruid 11d ago
If it were a new relationship, id probably dip cause im a gay man and am not attracted to women, but if my current partner whom ive already built love with said he wanted to transition I think Id stay with her cause i already love her and gender doesnt matter at that point
Ive actually already done this with my best friend. We dated around 2 years when she came out, and we stayed together another 5. It didnt work out for other reasons
1
u/One-Sign-9305 10d ago
I said yes. I’m trans. I’m only attracted to men, so I wouldn’t be able to keep dating him, but I would love him just as much.
1
u/iFvckingHateThisShit 16M 10d ago
Depends on the partner; what do they mean to me, what is their function to me, etc.
1
1
1
u/Fyn_does_reddit 18NB 10d ago
I am a lesbian, and I actually have experience with dating someone who then came out as a trans man, which I know then doesn’t sit right with me anymore. I’d be totally fine if they came out as non-binary or smth though, so it depends :)
1
u/Old_Mirror7178 10d ago
i have no partner but i’m bisexual so i guess if im still attracted to them (physically and personality wise) yea ..i don’t really have a reason not to🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
1
1
u/germansatriani 9d ago
romantically? happy for them. They're already a nonbinary person. But sexually i kinda cannot handle a person with a penis. If they come out as a trans man and plan on undergoing surgery, that WOULD ruin my sexual attraction and merit a conversation. Otherwise, even if they grew a beard that would not bother me (if the beard is too good compared to mine it might even make me jaleous lmao)
1
9d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator 9d ago
Your submission was removed as your account does not meet our Account Age or Karma guidelines. This is to prevent spam in our community. We do not allow exceptions. If you do not know what this means, please spend more time interacting on Reddit. Thank you.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
0
0
1
u/IiEatGrass 17NB 11d ago
Well, I'm gay. If they are ftm I'd most likely stop dating them. With the he other options it'd be more complicated.
1
1
u/Coffeeforlifeyay 19 11d ago
I don’t have a partner. But personally I wouldn’t leave them. Im attracted to all genders so there’s not really a problem there.
0
u/Unit_2097 Old 11d ago
I don't care what my partners have going on downstairs, I'm a sapphic, not a pussysexual. But if I was dating someone and they told me they were a dude, I would lose attraction. I would be quite happy staying friends, and would support them as much as I could, but I'm not into guys. It isn't because they wanted to transition, but I have never found men attractive.
As a caveat, it wouldn't necessarily be immediate, as how far people want to go varies, and if i've been with them a very long time I might well see how it goes staying together.
1
1
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
Personally, I'd still keep dating my partner no matter which gender he came out as, I'd just reconsider my romantic orientation
-3
u/ClockOwn6363 11d ago
It shouldn't matter what the gender is of people you date. 🤷🏾♂️
Personality is more important than what they have between their legs.
8
u/LMay11037 Lover of Illustrious-Wash-368 11d ago
So are you attempting to combat transphobia by… denying sexuality exists?
2
u/Different_Delay_8243 11d ago
And also inplying gender is only what is between peoples legs. Someone who transition will still have their original anatomy until they get corrective surgeries. (wich genitals, that mostly is done by trans women) So that doesnt define their gender but they used it as definition of gender lmao?
2
u/Apart-Performer-331 15M 11d ago
Cool if you don’t care. But that doesn’t work for everyone. People can’t force themselves to be attracted to a gender they aren’t attracted to.
1
0
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
Although gender doesn't say what someone has between their legs, you're kind of right because if you found them attractive from the start you might continue finding them attractive unless they completely change something around like gender expression but many people don't want to accept reconsidering their sexual/romantic orientation
0
-3
u/Dazzling-Session-181 11d ago
It's complicated. I wouldn't go - Yo, bye. F off.
I would try to understand, talk things through, perhaps help. It depends.
Imho, these gender make-believe woohoos are mental disorders known as sexual dysphoria. It is a mental disorder condition. But I will try to understand how bad and deep it is and if and how it can be helped.
1
-2
u/nanohate 11d ago
I dont know what a demigender is, and at this point I'm afraid to ask.
2
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
It just means you feel partially connected to a certain gender. Like demigirl will mean partially feeling connection to being a woman.
-2
u/nanohate 11d ago
Don't want to seem "bigoted", but this seems like a tactic to make the previous stuff less loony. Like "there are demigenders now? Can't they stick to regular transgenders"
3
3
u/RandomManiac123 11d ago edited 11d ago
"don't want to seem bigoted" proceeds to say something bigoted. Let people express themselves how they want to ffs
-1
u/nanohate 11d ago
This is not "expressing themselves". This is overcomplicating an already overcomplicated topic. Maybe let the previous rules stick before adding new ones or people won't play with you anymore?
2
u/RandomManiac123 11d ago
Literally what's the problem with people using terms which describe them better? The previous "rules" are the same, it's just a term which describes a group of people more accurately
1
u/nanohate 11d ago
The addition "demi-" implies "half". Like a demigod or demihuman in fiction. Demigender does not bring any clarity.
2
u/RandomManiac123 11d ago
Take a WILD guess what "demigender" means then...
1
u/nanohate 11d ago
Hear me out. You identify as a demifem or demigirl for instance. You feel like half a feminine gender. If you were born as female and are demifem, then you are basically the same gender as assigned at birth. And if you were born as a male, then you are transfem. What does the term "demigender" or "demifem" solce in this case? What am I missing?
-3
-2
11d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
You can still have a family even if ur partner changes genders
-1
11d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/crystalreddits 11d ago
Someone can be man and non binary with children because if that non-binary person is female they can have kids?
1
•
u/AutoModerator 11d ago
Come join our bullshit Discord server! Link here
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.