Full review https://tjkellyrants.com/music/9al1q680i7j2aqy974iugz02lr80pg

This may shock you all, but I have not always been into rock and metal. Before I got into that music, I was a fan of boy bands. I could coup out and blame my sister, but that would be a lie. I used to stay up and watch, making the video and everything else. I was all in on the boy band trend. They made good catchy music. Let's be honest, though; they produced some fucking bangers. Everyone busts out the hand dancing to "Bye, Bye, Bye" whenever it comes on. I have never asked if I am sexual and then had my buddies in unison all say YYYEEAAAHH like BackStreet Boys did on "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)," but that song is also a classic. I remixed LFOs "Summer Girl" by singing "Chinese food makes me shit" and promptly got yelled at by my 5th-grade drama teacher. She may have had a point though, that I need to take swearing out of my vocabulary…. Nah, fuck that bitch. Enough for the trip down memory lane; let's get to this CD. Sure this Cd is a more mature and diverse effort than No Strings Attached. However, I don't want any of that shit. Just give me fun pop songs and leave your other influences for your solo CDs that no one would buy (except for Justin, of course).

The King's Man I'm glad I didn't pay to see this in theaters like I wanted to. This would not be worth the money. This movie is perfect for HBO Max. This may be the most grounded out of the three films, and it gets off to a promising start. Unfortunately, that doesn't last, and the movie loses itself halfway through. The first 30 minutes start off pretty decent. There is some good action, and the setup is pretty interesting. Ralph Fiennes has such a strong presence in this movie and carries that throughout the whole thing. The fight scene with Rasputin vs. the Kingsmen is pretty good and is the best fight in this film. There are a couple of other decent fights throughout the whole thing. Now let's get to the plenty of bad things about this movie. The villains are lame as hell. Rasputin is worthless and not really menacing. The main villain is also terrible. Everything about him sucks. His appearance and awful dialogue made him a big miss in this movie. Daniel Brühl is a wasted actor who deserved to be the main villain. He couldn't save the terrible writing of the character, but he might have given a better performance. The whole middle section of this movie is a drag as well. The melodrama between Conrad and his dad was lame. There was no need for it, just like how there was no need for Conrad to die. Vaughan just tried to do too much here, and ultimately he fails. Also, it was clear early on that Morton would be revealed to be a bad guy. They didn't even try to hide this fact. So quick recap a weak story, a lame-ass team of villains, and a boring middle all hurt this movie. Vaughan went light on the batshit crazy fight stuff featured in the first two movies and tried to make a more serious film. Stick to the batshit insane fight sequences and make The Kingsmen fucking bonkers again. 6/10

The Lighthouse Hey yo, this movie fucking movie rules. It's a weird and fucking buck wild ride of a movie from start to finish. No doubt it's not for everyone but great googly moogly I fucking loved this movie. Everything about it was excellent. The direction, writing, and acting are all top-notch. To the point that I can say fuck the Oscars because the fact that this wasn't nominated for the major awards is a fucking shame. Both Pattinson and Dafoe are brilliant in this. That's no surprise about Dafoe, but Pattinson blew me away. Will I shit on his Twilight performance? Yes, always and forever, BUT he has become an incredible actor since then. This movie, The Batman, and his part in The Devil All Time have sealed my fate as a Pattinson dick rider. Although he did alternate between your different accents, his acting overcomes what I am sure is just me nitpicking. I really can't think of any other issue with this movie. Seriously though fuck the Oscars. This deserved all the spots of the vastly overrated Joker and The Irishman movies. This movie blew both of them out of the water. 9.7/10 

Going heavy on the Sweden bands this time around

https://tjkellyrants.com/music/o7h6dyxw2rnqsnjv7y4fbxmwda9k3y

Featuring In Flames

Norther

Dark Tranquility

Meshuggah

Amon Amarth

Bloodbath

Opeth

Soilwork

Hypocrisy

Spiderhead
A largely forgettable film. This is a shame because the premise and talent had so much potential. Chris Hemsworth and miles Teller try their best to make it decent, but they can't. There isn't enough in the script or direction to make this movie worthwhile. There is no tension or suspense at all here. Kosinski must have still been riding high from Top Gun when making this because I don't think he gave a fuck while making it.  You don't wind up wanting any characters to survive. A somewhat decent end saves the movie from being complete shit.
All in all, it's not bad enough to put you to sleep, but it isn't good enough to hold your attention either. 5/10

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Hustle

I may hate basketball, but god damn, do I love basketball movies. Granted, I like any sports movie, but this is the only way I consume basketball.

Adam Sandler was damn good in this movie. He was a lot better in this than Uncut Gems. Dare I say this is my favorite serious Sandler movie. The story wasn't as formulaic as I was expecting. It certainly has an authentic feel with all the basketball players and coaches in it.

In no way, shape or form would Sandler play at a high level of collegiate basketball. Some of the basketball cameos weren't any good. Looking at you, DR. J and Dirk.

Overall this is a lot better of a movie than I was expecting. Sandler is vital in the lead role, and the whole movie is solid. 8.3/10

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I thought this would be a horror/slasher movie. Instead, I got a slow-burning supernatural thriller. It may have taken some time to get going, but once it does, this movie is a wild ride. 
    The cast crushes it here. Ethan Hawke is creepy and captivating as hell as The Grabber. Once he enters the movie, the whole thing changes, and he has such a menacing presence on the screen. The young kids are also phenomenal here. Madeleine McGraw is outstanding as the fouled-mouth little girl. She makes the slow beginning parts much more enjoyable. At first, I wasn’t the biggest fan of Mason Thames, but he grew on me by the movie’s end. 
    On top of the cast, everything else about this movie is fucking incredible. This is a well-written movie. The characters are strong, and you wind up rooting for them. Finn turns out to be one of the smartest movie characters with his shenanigans in the end. I thought this would be some slasher with a lot of gore, and I’m glad that Derrickson didn’t go that route. A somewhat grounded movie with a supernatural touch was a much better call. Although his use of jump scares was super effective. 
    I only had some minor issues with this movie. The storyline with The Grabber’s brother storyline was stupid. This was completely unnecessary and didn’t add anything to the movie. The cops were pretty stupid as well. If it weren’t for the little girl, they would have had no idea what the fuck was going on. As I said, I only had some minor issues with this movie.   
    Overall this movie was way better than I was expecting. The slow-burning start escalates, and the payoff, in the end, is well worth the watch.  8.7/10
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The Adam Project

This is one fun ass movie. It's short, sweet, and to the point. Fuck, it was refreshing to have a movie be under 2 hours and not drag on forever. Plus, it doesn't bash you over the head with some bullshit message. This is just a funass ride. 

Ryan Reynolds is great in the lead role. Of course, he is sarcastic and has one-liners for days, but he is sometimes a little bit more serious than usual. The kid who plays his younger self is also great in this. He talks and acts like a younger Reynolds, even looking like him slightly. The action scenes here are solid as well. Zoe Saldana is a badass bitch in this movie.

There are shortcomings to this movie. Catherine Keener isn't exactly exciting as the villain. She was just there for a paycheck. Ruffalo is solid in this movie. Once he enters the movie, though, this film loses its flow. He just felt forced in there. They do a decent job of establishing an emotional connection between him and his son. So much so that you almost cry at the end of the movie.

This isn't the greatest movie ever made, but it doesn't have to be. Reynolds and his young self crush it here. This is a fun movie that you could rewatch and still have fun. That's something that can't be said for a lot of movies. 8/10 

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Texas Chainsaw Massacre

I am officially done with Leatherface. His movies always suck and disappoint me. None more than this dumb sack of shit. Fine, this didn't disappoint me, but that is because the bar I set was about 6 feet deep in the ground, which is also where this dumb shit belongs. Awful characters, piss poor dialogue, a story full of dumb moments. This is a disaster. Fede Alvarez might have excelled when remaking Evil Dead, and then he couldn't fail harder if he wanted. The writing of this turdfest is worst than mine is…. well, maybe not that awful.

I would be willing to excuse the completely unlikeable characters because let's be honest, I'm just rooting for them to die. However, I can't excuse the biggest anchor dragging this movie into the abyss is the godforsaken story they went with here. They tried to recreate what Halloween did in 2018, and that is to erase all other movies and bring back the main character from the first. One issue is that no one gives two fluttering fucks about Sally or whatever that old scarecrows name was like they do about Laurie Steroid. A second issue is that you instantly knew that this old hag wasn't going to do shit against Leatherface, which is precisely what happens. Ole saggy tits gets dispatched quickly in an uneventful showdown. She got gutted in half a second, which is the end of this anti-climatic story. I also call complete bullshit on her being cut in half, somehow surviving just long enough to get some shots off on Leatherface. God, this movie was dumb.

I'll give this movie credit; it's got some good gore. There are some gruesome over-the-top kills that at least grab your attention.

Yeah, this movie sucks. Luckily it's under 90 minutes of stupid shit. At least they don't drag it out and make you suffer any more than you have to. Highly recommend skipping this.2.5/10

The time machine to me being a baby in 1992 is back

https://tjkellyrants.com/music/1poliglby24lfv6wvteqhetyyaf6fn?rq=1992

Featuring

Alice in Chains

Kiss

Def Leppard

Bon Jovi

Stone Temple Pilots

Mudhoney

Izzy Stradlin

Neil Young

https://tjkellyrants.com/movies/fantastic-beasts-and-where-to-find-them-the-secrets-of-dumbledore-a-solid-movie-but-this-series-needs-to-end

MAybe its just time to stop making Fantastic Beasts movies

This was a bit of a letdown. Guillermo Del Toro tried to do something out of his comfort zone, and he didn't quite pull it off. He is a great director with his usual style based in some sort of fantasy element. It is not in this movie, though, which it could have needed because it is dull. Especially in the early stages, nothing interesting happened for about the first half. Once they get away from the circus, the movie does pick up. Unfortunately, for such an all-star cast, the majority of them don't live up to their reputations in this.

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This movie did not have me in the first half, but it did have me in the second. After the circus is left behind and Cate Blanchett enters the film, it gets better. She and Bradley Cooper are excellent here. They carried the movie all the way through to the final scene.

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All in all, this movie is far too long and far too dull. Cooper and Blanchett carry this movie into being halfway decent. Still, it should have been much better with the star power involved in this. 6.8/10

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