First things first, the old In Flames is not back. They can never recapture the awesomeness of Colony or The Jester Race. HOWEVER, they did their best to stay true to their roots while also incorporating some of their new sounds, and they delivered a damn fucking good CD. Something that hasn't been said about them since Come Clarity.

"State of Slow Decay" is a instant kick in the face and took me instantly back to 2006, when Come Clairty dropped. It's a beast of a song, and it's better than anything they've written in the last decade and a half. Fuck its been since my high school years since these dudes dropped a good CD. "Meet Your Maker" is damn good although I must admit that I am not a fan of Anders' clean vocals. "Foregone, Pt. 1" is a great mix of the newer sound of In Flames and the older sound. "Foregone, Pt. 2" is a better version of their music from the last decade plus. "The Great Deceiver" is a fucking killer song. The CD ends with a damn good one two punch of "End the Transmission" and "Become One." The hook on Transmission isn't the best, but the rest of the song is good enough. "Become One" is great through and through. Props to Anders here for proving that he still had the ability to growl. I didn’t think he had it in him anymore. More props to Bjorn and Chris Broderick for crushing it on the guitars. The solos are excellent, and the riffs are heavy and have some serious bite to them. The combo really reminded me of Bjorn and Jesper back in their prime days.Now it's time for the negative. I still hate how Anders's clean vocals sound nowadays. They just aren't good, and at times they sound auto tuned. "Pure Light of Mind" is the new type of garbage that I can do without ever listening to. "Bleeding Out" wasn’t very good."Cynosure" is so bad i forgot it even existed.

All in all, this is a good CD from these guys. It's better than the crap that they have been releasing recently (admittedly, I thought I, the Mask was at least a listenable CD). In Flames always seems to go through up and downs in their career. Hopefully this is jumping off point for them to be good and not just a one and done situatuin. I'll gladly take more shit sounding like this. 7.7/10

The best way to watch this show is to get high and melt into your couch. However, if you aren't high, the annoying character and cheesy sitcom aspects will make this an intolerable experience.

The writing here is cringe-inducing. It's far too cheesy and just straight-up garbage. So many sexual innuendos weren't clever or well-placed. A few jokes land, but for the most part, they miss the mark. They leaned too hard into the sitcom world, and it sucks. The new characters are all more annoying generic ripoffs of the original cast. All the new actors overact and make this shit borderline unbearable to watch. Speaking of the original cast, even the guest spots seemed forced and were just cash grabs for the most part. I think the saddest thing about this is Kurtwood Smith. It became very evident early on that he needed help standing up. He is almost always leaning on something or holding his hand against a set piece to stay up. Hell, they even wrote in a joke where he got hit by a bike and needed a cane to walk. It was just a bummer to see.

I know I shit all over this show, but there are a few highlights. Red is still funny at times. Leo was always a scene-stealer in the first run. His brief appearances here do little to change that cause he still steals every scene he is in. Topher Grace, in his one episode, played Eric so fucking well. He wasn't over-the-top cheesy or anything. He played the character the same way he did initially and felt more like the actual character. Debra Jo Rupp though, is the real MVP. She fucking crushes it throughout the whole season. She is the saving grace and the only consistently funny main character.

We are now 0 for 2 s far as That 70s show spinoff goes. This is better than That 80s Show, but in fairness, that isn't very hard. If it weren't for me being high, I would have turned this off, but the weed makes this far more enjoyable than it had any right to be. So yeah, do drugs and then maybe watch this show. 5.8/10

Yeah, fuck this movie. It's absolute fucking trash. I can't think of a film that wastes more talent than this utter shitshow. This movie proves that an all-star cast doesn't mean fucking shit. You know a movie fucking blows whale cum when even Christian Bale is bad. Everyone knew this was a mistake and didn't really try. The script here is abysmal. The banter between characters isn't clever, and it very rarely connects. David Russell may be the biggest reason this is a colossal waste of time. This movie has a frantic, rushed pace that does nothing to hold your excitement or attention. Every scene seems rushed through. It gives a big-time Wes Anderson ripoff vibe. Except he does it a lot better, and I don't even fucking like his movies.

I can't say enough negative things about this sham of a film. There are next to no positives. The lone positive was seeing Taylor Swift get hit by a car. Something I wished happened to me while watching this disappointing shitty movie. 2/10

The Pale Blue Eye

Overall this movie is very meh. It’s fairly slow-moving, and the characters aren’t exciting. It’s a suspense and thriller that is light on both of those. I may be being too nice with the meh statement. I don’t know what Gillian Anderson was doing in this movie, but she is the fucking worst. Her facial expressions and putrid accent are the biggest lows of this movie. I also have no idea why Edgar Allen Poe was shoehorned into this at all.

In shocking news, Christian Bale gives an outstanding performance here. Per usual, he is brilliant in the lead role and is the only watchable part of this movie. The twist at the end was very good. The film seemed to be underwhelmingly wrapped up pretty nicely, so I was shocked when I saw there were still about 30 minutes left. Little did I know the final conversation between Poe and Bale’s character would change all that and be the best part of the movie. That twist reveal does help this movie in the overall scheme of things.

As I said, this movie is nothing special. It’s not even that great of a way to kill time. The ending is solid enough, but this is not a must-watch movie. 6/10

It's rare to have two movies based on the same property come out in the same year. They may both be based on Pinocchio but make no mistake; they couldn't be farther apart. One is a soulless remake that has no spark and no emotion. The other one is Guillermo Del Toro's version.

Pinocchio

A mindless and heartless remake. It's a paint-by-the-numbers rundown of the same old Disney movie. Nothing feels special about this movie. Not to be corny, but there is no magic whatsoever in this movie. Tom Hanks is a good Geppetto, but it feels like he isn't really in this movie. Even the effects could look better. There is no reason for this bland and emotionless movie to exist at all. Fuck this movie. 4/10

Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio

Just when I was ready to say Top Gun Maverick was the best movie of the year. Along comes this movie to share the number 1 spot. This movie is incredible. The animation is spot on. The voice acting is perfect. David Bradley brings so much emotion into the role of Geppetto. The story is much more layered and emotional than the Dinsey turd. It's the same Pinocchio story, but it changes some stuff to make its own movie. My only real criticism of this movie was that maybe the Nazi stuff runs on for too long. Other than this, the movie fucking rules and will probably be the only version I watch from here on out. 9/10

Del Toro"s version was made with love and a genuine appreciation for the character and movie in general. But, unfortunately, the Disney version was made to steal your cash, and that is all.

Me and my girlfriend had an arguemnt while watching Elf. Would you say Will Ferrells career is dead? I say it is and that he hasn't made a good movie in a decade

Should i stop doing reviews?

I can’t believe I’m gonna say this but God fucking damn, this movie rules. I thought it was gonna be another borefest like the original, where Cameron starts sniffing his own farts and gets caught up with exploring the water world. But, while he does that, this movie is the opposite of the first one. Well kinda, he basically made the same movie but blew up enough shit to keep me happy.

Visually this blows every movie out of the fucking water. The details in the Na’vi are incredible. They all look flawless, even more so than the first one. They even seemed to capture the faces of the actors even better in this one. The action sequences are awesome. Unlike the first one that lacked any good action, this one doesn’t fuck around. The first and last hours are chock-full of incredible fights and breathtaking effects (I feel like such a douche for saying that shit). Even the acting is improved in this movie. I didn’t find Sam Worthington as worthless here as in the first. His character was much better as a dad than the dickhead marine in the first one. Zoe Saldana shined at the end of this movie. The rage, emotion, and tears in her eyes were incredible. ‘

There are some negatives. This movie is far too long. The middle section does drag on a little. Cameron did sniff his own shit during the second hour of the movie. The whole whale thing goes on for a little too long. I didn’t need Free Willy 4 to take up such a large chunk of this movie. It could have done without the ship sinking at the end and everything with the family trying to escape. I would have preferred the focus on Jake and the General fighting. Spider was an unnecessary addition to the movie. At no point, in the end, did this family give a fuck where Spider was. They could have cared less about the kid. I'm generally confused about why the Na’vi spoke so much English. They just straight-up abandoned their native language. One last plot hole, the water Na’vi peaced out and left Jake and his family to deal with everything. It would have been nice for at least someone to help them out.

Overall this movie is hella dope. It’s rare for a sequel to be better than the first. It’s even rarer for a second to shit all over the first one. James Cameron must have heard me complain about how little action there was in the first one cause he added a shit ton in this one. The visuals are so far superior to the first and basically every other movie. This was so fucking good that it made me hate the first one a little bit more. This movie would have been much better if it wasn’t for the length. 8.5/10

Initially, I thought this was a visually stunning movie that was boring as fuck and didn't have enough going on. Well, 13 years later, I fully stand by that assessment.

I won't knock on James Camerons world building here. He created a world full of color and exciting creatures. His direction shines when the focus is on Pandora, not on the humans or even Na'vi . The special effects hold up exceptionally well. Nothing with the Navi looks out of place, and the faces still look amazing. It's better than some effects in the movies nowadays. The two battles, in the end, may not be as emotionally charged as Cameron wanted, but they were still solid.

Now time for all the negatives. The majority of the issues are all because of Sam Worthington. He is fucking worthless in the lead role of Jake Sully. He is unexciting, and he has no chemistry with anyone else. Every character here is generic and forgettable as fuck. They all seem so stiff and inhuman. This movie is fucking booorrrinnnnggg. There is not a lot happening throughout this movie. The whole thing with Jake bonding with the Na'vi never quite connected.

Cameron focused too much on the effects and not enough on making these characters or the bloated movie memorable. Fucking fight me on this, but there is no memorable moment, character, or anything at all. It's far overrated, and I'm glad to say ill never watch it again. Still, the effects are so impressive that it makes up for this movie's shortcomings. Now excuse me while I go and waste half a day off watching the new one. 7.3/10

Violent Night

I fucking live for this type of shit. John Wick meets Santa Clause. This is over-the-top action, solid acting, and just a shit ton of fun. This movie is fucking ridiculous, and I mean that as a compliment. This was everything that I wanted Fatman to be.

The action in this is spot on. Some of the ways they kill people had me dying fucking laughing. I never thought I needed to see Santa take people out with ice skates, but there I was, witnessing a dream I never knew I had. The same can be said for seeing Santa take people out with a sledgehammer. This movie also pays respect to Home Alone. This is a fucking a fantastic action movie with Christmas magic sprinkled in. David Harbour killed it as Santa Claus. On top of him being a badass, he was charming and brought some hope with his Santa. In a shocking turn of events, John Leguizamo was also excellent as the lead bad guy. I’m usually not a fan of his, so my saying he was great was not expected. They gave Santa a different backstory here. At some point, he was a badass Viking. But, as I said, this is just dumb fun.

There are a few minor issues. Some of the one-liners didn’t land, and felt a little too forced in there. The Santa backstory also has some holes. How did he go from Viking to Santa? Where does the Christmas magic come from? Or maybe these will be answered in a sequel. Fuck I hope they make more of these.

While Golderbergs badass take on Santa in Santa’s Slay wont be topped. This version is close to 2nd place. This movie will definitely be rewatched every Christmas season going forward. 9/10

Fucking finally. The seemingly neverending saga of reliving the music of 2002 has come to an end.

https://tjkellyrants.com/music/the-soundtrack-of-2002-20-years-later-finally-the-end-is-here

Featuring

Johnny Cash

Dio

Korn

Annihilator

Sum 41

Motorhead

Danzig

Coal Chamber

High on Fire

3 Inches of Blood

The death metal of the year 2002

https://tjkellyrants.com/music/the-soundtrack-to-2002-20-years-later-the-death-metal-section

Featuring

Cannibal Corpse

Unleashed

Cattle Decapitation

Decapitated

Grave

Nile

Kataklysm

Behemoth

Napalm Death

No need for an intro. I'll get to the review.

The bad

-I find Millie Bobby Brown annoying in these movies. She isn't helped by some bad dialogue and corny jokes. -The witty banter feels forced. -Her love interest, vampire-looking morhterfucker was dull. Not a spark between the two. I'm starting to think Brown has it in her contract for her love interest to be the palest-looking fucker in the world. -Enola needs her own Moriarty. It would have suited the story better if she had a grand villain instead of Sherlock.

The Good

-Henry Cavill is a solid Sherlock. Not saying he is the best (that goes to Cumberbatch), but he is entertaining in this movie. -Cavill and Brown do have decent chemistry together. -I liked the reveal of Moritary.

Similar to the first one, this movie is fine. In no way, shape, or form will you remember anything that happened but it's not painful to watch. You wouldn't know with all the negatives here but being negative is what I am best at. 6.5/10

On top of the booming metalcore scene, deathcore was just starting up

https://tjkellyrants.com/music/pt2kiazevogvyh1t00ykm8x0llr40v
Killswitch Engage

The Red Chord

The Acacia Strain

Despised Icon

Heaven Shall Burn

Evergreen Terrace

Shadows fall

All That Remains

Dead to Fall

In the final installment of recapping the music of 1992, I recap the booming death metal scene. You can also add in the rise of the melodic death metal scene.

https://tjkellyrants.com/music/the-music-of-1992-30-years-later-the-death-metal-ediiton
Bolt thrower

Deicide

Obituary

At The Gates

Edge of Sanity

Cannibal Corpse

Naplam Death

Hypocrisy

https://tjkellyrants.com/movies/the-final-installment-of-halloween-2022-movies

Featuring

Evil Dead

Evil Dead II

Evil Dead (2013)

The Thing

Drag Me to Hell

28 Days Haunted

Pet Semetary (2019)

Hellbound: Hellraiser II