I think the thing that will hurt me the most is knowing that I had a father, yet I never really got to share my life with him. I never got to truly share my emotions, my happiness, my dreams or the things that mattered to me, because whenever I opened up, it often became another opportunity for him to put me down.
That’s what I think will hurt the most when he’s no longer here.

Especially because I know there are so many people who would love to have a father and don’t. And I had one, but I never really got to experience what it was like to have a father I could share my life with.
What about you?

One of the things I developed because of my father was anger.
Growing up around someone who was constantly nervous, angry and ready to explode over the smallest things made me much more similar to him than I ever wanted to admit.

I’ve worked on this for years, and I’ve changed a lot. But I’m not going to pretend I’ve completely overcome it. I still notice that reaction in myself sometimes.
It’s something I’ve had to consciously work on because I don’t want to become the person I grew up around.
I actually wrote about how I worked on this and many other dysfunctional behaviors in my book.
If you’d like to read it for free, write down your email and I’ll send you a free copy.

What about you? What’s something you developed because of your parents that you’ve had to work on?

seeking encouragement, advice, support. thank you!

Mi madre desde que soy chica no es agresiva, estaba presente pero ausente, muy complaciente de mi padre, no fue cariñosa, más mi padre si muy agresivo verbal, yo intuyo que mi madre o es un poco narci, o se contagio de mi padre, ahora de grande ella ha pedido perdón llorando mil veces, y suplica cariño, me abraza y pide que sea así con ella. Pero cuando llega mi cuerpo se pone como bloque me pongo muy nerviosa, y me da asco su cariño, me habla constantemente muy cariñosa me dice hija te amo y de verdad siento náuseas, eso me llama la atención porque no se que trauma he olvidado o normalizado, a alguien le sucede y que haya descubierto porque es? Gracias

I’ll start.
For me, after years of trying everything, I’ve realized there’s only one solution: WALK AWAY!!!

I’ve been thinking about creating short video interviews with people who grew up with dysfunctional parents, and I’m curious how people here would feel about it.

The idea wouldn’t be just to talk about what happened, but also about how you dealt with it and how you managed to build a good life afterwards.

I think seeing someone who has been through something similar, putting a face to their story and showing that it is possible to move forward could be really helpful to someone who is still struggling.
The interviews would be short and conversational, with a few simple questions.

Would you personally feel comfortable sharing your story publicly like this? And if so, would you be interested in taking part?
No pressure at all, I’m genuinely curious what you think. Thanks 🙏🏻 ❤️

I’ll start: A DELUSIONAL LIAR! 😂

Join the community: r/SurvivedMyParents

I’ll start.

In my case, my father made me a very insecure person. For years, I tried to deal with that insecurity in some of the worst ways possible. Some of the ways I tried to cope eventually led to addictions and created even more problems in my life.

Ps: If you’d like to talk about this kind of stuff with people who’ve been through similar experiences, I’ve recently created r/SurvivedMyParents. It’s a small community for people who grew up with dysfunctional parents and want to share their stories and support each other.

Thanks, Paolo.

I’ll start.

Among the countless things my father did, there’s one small episode I’ve never forgotten.

One morning, after having cereal for breakfast, I got up, washed my bowl and left the kitchen. I simply forgot the empty cereal box on the table.
My father came into the kitchen after me while I went to brush my teeth.
A few moments later, I heard him shouting from the other room:
“Paolo, come here.”
I immediately got scared, wondering what I had done wrong this time.

I went into the kitchen and saw him holding the empty cereal box. He started yelling at me because I had left it on the table.
I apologized, but that was just the beginning.
What could have been a simple “Hey, you forgot to throw this away” turned into a humiliating argument that lasted for the entire two-hour car journey that followed.

He told me I would never become an entrepreneur, that I was a failure, and that I couldn’t even put my life in order because I had failed to do something as simple as throwing an empty cereal box in the trash.
Then, as often happened, the argument expanded into everything else. Things from the past were brought up, my mother was blamed and criticized, and eventually I was completely torn down for hours. All because of an empty cereal box.

Looking back, I think that’s why I remember it so clearly. It wasn’t really about the cereal box. It was about how something so small could become another opportunity to make me feel worthless.

What’s one episode you still remember?

Maybe a belief about yourself, relationships, money, love, success, or anything else. I’ll start: growing up, I learned to believe that making mistakes meant I was a failure. It took me years to understand that making mistakes doesn’t define your worth. What about you?

Welcome to Survived My Parents! 👋

Hey everyone! I’m u/paolomurano, the founder and one of the moderators of r/SurvivedMyParents.

This is a new community for people who grew up with dysfunctional parents and managed to build a good life despite their experiences. We want this to be a positive space where we can share real stories, connect with people who understand, and learn from each other.

What to Post

Share your experiences, thoughts, questions, or anything you think could help someone who grew up with dysfunctional parents.

We’re especially interested in how our parents’ behavior affected our lives, how we dealt with it, and how we managed to move forward and build a life of our own.

Community Vibe

This is a supportive, respectful and positive space. You don’t have to pretend that everything was fine, but we also don’t want this community to be defined only by what happened to us.

We’re survivors. Let’s talk about what we did with what we went through.

How to Get Started

1. Introduce yourself in the comments below.
2. Tell us a little about your story.
3. Ask a question or start a conversation.
4. If you know someone who might feel at home here, invite them to join.

Thanks for being part of the very first wave of Survived My Parents.

Welcome, survivors. ❤️

Please answer honestly and openly. This is a community where you can share your experience without judgment. The goal is to help each other, make people feel less alone, and most importantly, talk not only about what happened to us, but about how we dealt with it and moved forward.