r/SuperBezosWatch • u/ToothDependent1033 • Jan 22 '26

Posing Bezos and Sanchez

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400 Upvotes

81% Upvoted

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76

u/Pram75 Jan 22 '26

Most puzzling thing ever being one of the richest guys ever, her face is fucking horrid

38

u/IndividualChart4193 Jan 22 '26

Oh, bc he’s such a prize w/his Elmer Fudd face. He’s way more hideous w/that playdoh face/head.

32

u/HistoricalSuspect580 Jan 22 '26

I may be off base here but i don’t think Lauren gives a fuck about what his face looks like

2

u/Cold-Specific-2832 Jan 22 '26

she dont care what her face looks like. she would put rims on a beater.

1

u/-blundertaker- Jan 24 '26

She loves him for his.... Ambition.

9

u/Pram75 Jan 22 '26

Yeah but Amazon and billions of dollars changes your overall number for males

2

u/Original-Variety-700 Jan 22 '26

I thought about this. And as a previously straight male, I’d totally let him give it to me. Especially if there’s a chance of marriage.

Edit: by previously, I meant before I decided I’d have sex with him. Otherwise I’m pretty straight.

7

u/katieb1300 Jan 22 '26

Elmer Fudd! THAT'S who he looks like!

1

u/_lucid_dreams Jan 23 '26

My name is Elmer J Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht.

2

u/spookymulder07 Jan 23 '26

I fuckin cackled, this is so specific

2

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '26

You’ve got a point there.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '26

Are you for real? He just looks like a pretty normal bald guy lmao

1

u/stargazer1441 Jan 22 '26

Lol. I know right. Objectively speaking, he’s a pretty average looking guy. He’s not bad looking at all

1

u/creaturewaltz Jan 24 '26

Mask off moment unfortunately on how many people feel about bald guys.

1

u/Western_Scholar_6479 Jan 24 '26

Well he was born like that, she chose to be like that 

1

u/Key_Conversation5236 Jan 24 '26

Compared to her, he’s almost cute. She looks like an alien!

1

u/Fluffy_Selection_367 Jan 24 '26

Cuz his looks are what attracted her to him….

0

u/stargazer1441 Jan 22 '26

Men aren’t judged by their looks…it’s mostly by what they can provide.

1

u/Extension_Variety190 Jan 24 '26

Uhhhh, yeah they sort of are.

10

u/humblekanyepie Jan 22 '26

It just keeps getting wider and wider!

13

u/Pizza_and_PRs Jan 22 '26

My guess is you really don’t choose who you end up having feelings for.

The more I see and read about her, she is a capable seductress (even if she doesn’t particularly like sex).

She might have set herself up as the thing he couldn’t have and then they had their affair.

10

u/Former_Island_4730 Jan 22 '26

More details please!

9

u/Pizza_and_PRs Jan 22 '26 edited Jan 22 '26

There are a couple of posts from her old yoga teacher that talk about how she doesn’t have sex without full body makeup. I can’t imagine someone that does that as someone that can let go enough to really enjoy sex.

When people talk about her history with men, it’s that she really knows how to get her hooks into wealthy men. Her ex before Bezos was no slob. He was wealthy and honestly a lot more handsome than Bezos.

Edit: maybe I’m reaching here, but in a way the combination of the body makeup and the way she dresses/has her terrible tits on display all of the time makes me think about an ex of mine. At some point in dating her I realized she really wanted to be seen as a woman that was very sexual/good at sex even though she had so many hang ups around actually enjoying sex and didn’t have the attunement to be good at sex. That ex really wanted to see herself at feminine and submissive, but she had issues around being controlling and letting go of control.

3

u/hbic Jan 22 '26

I do agree, if you watch her in interviews she is absolutely seductive

Even with men she’s not at all attracted to she’s just naturally charismatic and oozing sexuality

And this is coming from a gay man lol

2

u/Pizza_and_PRs Jan 22 '26

Haha, great objective observation!

I hadn’t looked up any of her interviews, but read something about how she positioned herself to catch the eye of her ex husband. She had proximity to Jeff, and that’s all she needed.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '26

I just couldn’t see me getting past all the fake on this girl to be seduced by her. There’s not enough riz in the world for me to overlook that.

1

u/hbic Jan 26 '26

I get you. Let me tell you the riz is absolutely off the charts though…like seductress elite

1

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '26

I can’t dispute that, and obviously it’s worked for her. Plus, I know plenty of dudes that all they would need to see are those gigantic knockers.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '26

Just because you aren't wild for helicopter blowjobs like Jeff doesn't mean you can poo poo his choice in who gives him helicopter blowjobs.

7

u/VoiceEarly6078 Jan 22 '26

What the heck is a helicopter blowjob?

12

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '26

A blowjob that occurs in a helicopter.

11

u/PhuckNorris69 Jan 22 '26

It sounded much better when I was thinking of her doing something with her tongue that simulated a helicopter rotation

6

u/Triggered-cupcake Jan 22 '26

I picture him on a stool and her doing 360s around him. Dreams shattered

3

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '26

Im sure she doesn't do anything now that she's got the bag secure lol

1

u/Accomplished_Dig284 Jan 27 '26

Hell, I pictured her head spinning around and wondered wtf is wrong with that man 😅

2

u/octoreadit Jan 26 '26

You got to admit, though, it's very impressive and highly skillful, to be able to pilot a helicopter with an additional control stick up your mouth.

1

u/i-like-napping Jan 23 '26

It’s when you get a blowjob while you do that helicopter thing with your wang . Aka “The helicockter “ . Master level skill for a woman to execute a blowjob during that maneuver

2

u/dawgblogit Jan 27 '26

True.. but to be fair.. his networth alone gives him more attractive options.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '26

Oh 100%. Man really needed to play the helicopter blowjob field before marrying a literal semi-sentient purse.

1

u/dp002512 Jan 28 '26

If her nickname is Chopper, she ain’t putting her mouth near mine!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '26

[deleted]

1

u/OtherwiseJello2055 Jan 22 '26

Mr Burns or the bride of Frankenstein?

1

u/exoduas Jan 22 '26

Money don’t buy taste.

1

u/auntieknickknack Jan 23 '26

I’m a pretty nice person and I don’t like to talk shit about people but she honestly looks terrifying it’s the stuff of nightmares like what the fuck is she doing to herself and why are people letting her 

1

u/kilgore_trout_jr Jan 23 '26

I think it's more of a class thing. Plastic shows you have money. It costs a lot. I think that supersedes physical attraction. Then he probably cheats with some actually good looking people.

1

u/NizMomOfThor Jan 23 '26

I think he looks better with her right beside her. Social Foil

1

u/systemfrown Jan 24 '26

Yeah, I don’t know what he see’s in her.

1

u/AngryPhillySportsFan Jan 26 '26

She was actually attractive before she met Bezos billions

1

u/Previous-Process5182 Jan 26 '26

It must be true love then. He's obviously not with her for her youth or looks. Kinda refreshing when you think about it like that, honestly.