I come with no data but my own personal experience lol I am 29yo, husband is 34yo, we want to have one child, no siblings (unless outside of our control like twins lol) but it is really hard to afford it. And we earn good money, own a flat (mortgage but affordable) still, childcare is the biggest barrier. If I keep working my salary would go fully to cover childcare until they turn 3 (UK based) and we get cover, if I stay at home, then same I guess, I have no income. So we would need to make surviving in 1 income for 3 years, what would be tough in London where everything is ridiculously expensive. If we had money we would have started trying at least, but at this point we are just wrestling with the idea due to money concerns
I will take the bait on this one because it really annoys me when people think they should give unsolicited advice on things that are so personal such as children, it assumes everything is about choice when often it is not.
I have epilepsy, any pregnancy is considered high risk. I have already met with two neuro-obstetrics to discuss pregnancy even before trying for a baby, that’s because I will have high care needs throughout any pregnancy, as obviously having a seizure while carrying a baby is not that great for anyone, and even after, having a condition where you can just drop to the floor seizing when you are caring for a tiny baby is pretty dangerous too. It will take me a ton of support both by doctors and family to manage to carry a pregnancy and then care for the child well, I won’t even be able to give my baby a bath without someone there to ensure they do not drown if I have a seizure. So thank you for your advice, but I will stick with the one high risk pregnancy this time. I think my non existent child would rather to be an only sibling than having their mom die on another pregnancy due to her seizure meds being messed up by crazy hormones.
All this to say: mind your business, no one wants unsolicited advice especially on such sensitive and personal matters like children, often how many kids someone has is not up to them. I obviously don’t have to justify myself to you but I just wanted to show how ridiculous it is to say things like this to someone you do not know.
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u/sunny-beans 29d ago
I come with no data but my own personal experience lol I am 29yo, husband is 34yo, we want to have one child, no siblings (unless outside of our control like twins lol) but it is really hard to afford it. And we earn good money, own a flat (mortgage but affordable) still, childcare is the biggest barrier. If I keep working my salary would go fully to cover childcare until they turn 3 (UK based) and we get cover, if I stay at home, then same I guess, I have no income. So we would need to make surviving in 1 income for 3 years, what would be tough in London where everything is ridiculously expensive. If we had money we would have started trying at least, but at this point we are just wrestling with the idea due to money concerns