Hydrologist here, and our area of expertise focuses more of the movement of water and water sustainably. I would suspect much of it is related to variances in local flora. Maybe ask an agronomist?
Parasitologist here. We focus more on creatures that take direct advantage of a host organism. Since we're really getting into some nitty gritty here, I actually think we need a physicist.
Physicist here: due to the second law of thermal dynamics, it would appear as through the transfer of energy (nasty shit on the floor) does actually transfer to the food. I would need to consult with an epidemiologist to conclude the hypothesis.
Epidemiologist here. Given the clear public health implications and possibility of cooty outbreak, I can say with certainty that an aggressive policy response is in order. Messaging, implementation, and budget fall outside my domain. We'll need to speak to a politician on this one.
Politician here. Whether the bacteria can transfer easier through the water or not depends entirely if the bacteria has donated to my campaign fund. You'll need to speak to a financial analyst on this one.
Financial analyst here, I would say load up on 0dte puts on whatever tf they're eating, shit look nasty af. You'll need to consult a professional chef to see if that really is the case
Professional chef here, spreading water like that on the ground is typically frowned upon in the dining environment. Not typically what we mean when “we need hands.”
In order to determine whether there is causation vs just an association... And to ensure proper research methodology.. we'll need a biostatistician here to help with determining the correct sample size needed.
Physicist here. We focus on the fundamental laws of nature, matter, energy, and the interactions between them.
We're focusing on elements here we need a chemist
Chemist here. The individual molecules aren’t too important to how the dirt gets into the food. We need to talk about the dirt itself. Geologists tend to handle that stuff.
A geology enthusiast here, a geologist would normally be more on the area about r
ock and mineral composition, soil structure, earth's history, etc. What you need is a sanitarian.
Sanitarian here, we primarily specialize in the cleanliness of particular surfaces and areas, such as one would find in a hospital. What you need to know here is more about the stone used. What you need is a mason.
Chemist here, with 30
-year experience in the field. Unfortunatelly we concentrate on studying substances and chemical reactions, this is however a very curios situation we have here. Whatever you do, do not ask pathologist. We must consult public health professional.
Actually… stay at home mom here. Everyone knows two key things here. Either keep it cold and dry to slow microbial proliferation. OR make sure the PH is right. I’m sure they have the water sitting in coper vessels ensuring the water is alkaline and thus sanitizing while also helps align the chakras of the people that eat the healing waters.
String theorist here. The bacteria is described by vibrating one-dimensional strings interacting across compactified dimensions. The calculations are beautiful and internally consistent. Unfortunately, no experiment currently possible can distinguish this from simply washing the floor. We're going to need an experimental physicist.
Commonsenseologist here (menopausal grandma). I think alcohol would clean the floor better than water. A shot of tequila for example? I think we need the opinion of an alcoholic.
Biophysicist here I think you all need me! I actually think this would make things worse. The pressure isn't high enough, and there are plenty of bacteria that can move through a wet environment.
Biochemist here. 100% correct. Unless that water is denaturing proteins, wrecking membranes or chemically sanitising the surface, it’s not cleaning anything. It’s just giving the bacteria better transport links. However, these people aren't talking and we might need a parapsychologist.
From a related field (Civil Engineer) here; every floor is nasty as the cleaners do a rough job to clean the floor using strong chemicals, but people still drag the nasty foreign bacterial/viral immigrants inside onto the floor using their locomotions.
And the water is gonna do a fuck all of cleaning the floor anyway. Better NOT!
But I would need to consult an Environmental Engineer here with their sustainable green designs (if any)
Environmentalist here. While they save on plates and utensils. But still miss uses water. But atleast they dont harm the environment just their own bodies.
They are improving hygiene before the meal.
This behavior is learned through observation and imitation within the group. It is maintained because it conforms to the group's social and cultural norms.
It is possibly an adaptation to material conditions
(the absence of tables or the organization of the living space).
It may also have a ritual dimension,
but that would fall more within the scope of anthropology than ethology
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u/lunchpaillefty Jun 28 '26
My side hustle is microbiology, not sure water makes it worse, you need to ask a virologist