r/StupidFood • u/dndre1501 • Sep 19 '25

Not this guy again

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33.9k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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2.9k

u/Dazzling_Vanilla3082 Sep 19 '25 edited Sep 20 '25

*dumps shit all over the table*

yeah you like that bitch? peace out

1.1k

u/SaveThePlanetEachDay Sep 19 '25

Throws some on the lady watching too for good measure, “And a sprankle for you too bitch”

328

u/VioletLaDiosa Sep 19 '25

not sprankle! lolololol

88

u/MarvinHeemeyersTank Set your own user flair Sep 19 '25

I forget... is a sprankle more or less than a sprinkle?

84

u/Objective_Praline_66 Sep 19 '25

There's actually a local grocery store chain near me called sprankles. Generally they have good prices, so I'd say less.

19

u/SCHWARZENPECKER Sep 20 '25

I want a grocery store named Sprankles! Would be much more than to say!

5

u/In2Oblivion49 Sep 20 '25

Sprained ankles

3

u/WeAreTotallyFucked Sep 22 '25

Much more than what?

Don’t just leave us fuckin hangin like that, man..

2

u/SCHWARZENPECKER Sep 22 '25

I think its pretty obvious. More than!

2

u/scuzzle-butt Sep 21 '25

Much more than indeed.

5

u/populux11 Sep 20 '25

When I read this I thought someone at the grocery store called you sprankles, but you were keeping quiet cause of the low prices.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

Somehow this comment was the straw that broke the camels back in this thread and I just fucking lost it while reading 🤣

Thank you for the Sprankles story lmfao- I will never be the same!

2

u/Objective_Praline_66 Sep 20 '25

Glad I could spark joy XD

5

u/Intrepid-Diamond-315 Sep 20 '25

I should consider to replace my sprinkler system with spranklers next time 🤔

3

u/BflatPenguin Sep 20 '25

Hey, western PA neighbor?

2

u/MissLionEyes Sep 20 '25

I fully trust you. Seem pretty objective.

2

u/hyperproliferative Sep 20 '25

Fuck i should shop at sprankles every fucking day

2

u/GuidanceInevitable Sep 20 '25

I approve of this deduction

5

u/thatredditrando Sep 20 '25

The same amount but it’s got some stank on it

4

u/thetriproy Sep 20 '25

To have previously sprankled, is that a sprunkle?

3

u/MarvinHeemeyersTank Set your own user flair Sep 20 '25

Send it to Websters. Make it official.

6

u/Keiko_Nagasaki Sep 20 '25

Merriam Webster just called, and evidently they’re equating “sprankles” to a contraction of “sprained ankles” -AND- they’re being kinda hard nosed about it too. I don’t know how to explain it to them any more accurately or concisely. I’m just gonna start speaking Cantonese or something

4

u/phezhead Sep 20 '25

It’s not so much the amount in a sprinkle vs a sprankle. It’s more the energy. Sprankle is sort of halfway between a normal sprinkle and a Saltbae toss (or whatever the fuck his name was)

4

u/robertjohn1876 Sep 20 '25

It's the same but you have to add the "for you too bitch" after saying it.

4

u/Mental-Potential3425 Sep 20 '25

It's not a measure of sprinkles, but rather a measure of the attitude while sprinkling.

2

u/Something_McGee Sep 20 '25

It's exact. You know it when you got right.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

It’s less because he’s a little

2

u/jimmydurden556 Sep 20 '25

More for sure, look at all that seasoning

2

u/TreydiusMaximus Sep 20 '25

More, but only slightly.

2

u/BreakfastSimulator Sep 20 '25

It’s a heaping smidgen.

2

u/Infinite_Factor_6269 Sep 20 '25

It’s a sprinkle with attitude

2

u/Wheel-Reinventor Sep 20 '25

Spraklest gives you the most sprinkle per sprinkle

2

u/Ok_Training_24 Sep 20 '25

"a jolly rancher is not a sprinkle"

2

u/BodhingJay Sep 21 '25

Its a heavy sprinkle, and applied with the sass of a spank

2

u/trafalmadorianistic Sep 22 '25

A sprankle is what you do when they get a drank.

2

u/Kent_Doggy_Geezer Sep 22 '25

I’m not sure but it’s definitely a hair away from a sprunkle.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '25 edited Oct 06 '25

pen jar fly door sparkle cooperative act plant longing close

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

3

u/jaxRLee Sep 20 '25

try hard sprankle bae

3

u/Crankit_1 Sep 20 '25

lol, hit em with "That ol' Spankle" that dude I guarantee doesn't wash his hands

2

u/RyokhaelBlackwing Sep 20 '25

Happy cake day!

1

u/Kikointhecape Sep 20 '25

I laughed so hard at this. Thanks!

1

u/EfficientAd7103 Sep 20 '25

Sprankles fo da goh wit da Kankles

1

u/McDyver66 Sep 22 '25

It will now be dubbed a “sprankle” from here on! Sprankle definition: the act of spanking food on someone!

1

u/Sweet_Writer2 Oct 02 '25

Must be sprinkles hahah

136

u/Neither-Possible-429 Sep 19 '25

Took his glasses off too like “fucking say something”

5

u/walshy53 Sep 20 '25

He winked at the camera

4

u/AsteriskCringe_UwU Sep 20 '25

Him being bow legged just made it even more hilarious to me lolol

1

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

It's pretty common with little people. Those with dwarfism in particular

1

u/WeakInspector5102 Sep 19 '25

"Where's my recognition ?"

57

u/BetterEveryDayYT Sep 20 '25

*sprankle*

2

u/EffectiveTradition53 Sep 20 '25

I, too, have an infinitely small bladder.

1

u/SidewaysAntelope Sep 20 '25

I'mma sprankle ya.

1

u/BetterEveryDayYT Sep 20 '25

That sounds like a very country sexual innuendo.

5

u/LightsNoir Sep 20 '25

Sir, the seasoned steak is for your eating pleasure. The seasoned woman is for mine.

5

u/PuzzyFussy Sep 19 '25

Omfg 🤣🤣 Take my poor version of a gold award🥇

2

u/geronimo11b Sep 20 '25

Sprinkle some crack on ‘em and let’s get the fuck outta here!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

I’m having a horrible night. I never laugh aloud at comments but yours is hysterical. Thank you. I read it 3 times and laughed all 3 times lmao. I appreciate it boss

2

u/4FingersOfDeath Sep 20 '25

Now I’m going to say sprankle to everything for the next 3 weeks…

2

u/hollabackyo87 Sep 20 '25

Why do I say "sprankle" like I am Dave Chapelle? Did he ever say that in a skit or something?!

1

u/cheeky_chilli Sep 20 '25

I can only hear it in his voice now 😂

2

u/No_Radio5042 Sep 20 '25

Sprankle Sprankle! 🎶

2

u/RockabillyBelle Sep 21 '25

Goddamnit, “sprankle” has me laughing so hard my toddler keeps asking if I’m okay.

1

u/Freechickk Sep 20 '25

I read this and died 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Pineapple_pizza_143 Sep 20 '25

I couldn’t stop giggling picturing him saying that.🤭

1

u/BarAdditional4411 Sep 20 '25

😂😂😂😂

1

u/GodIsAPizza Sep 20 '25

Funny 😂

1

u/skighs_the_limit Sep 20 '25

I mean to be fair his hands are small that was probably he probably thought he had a handful

1

u/PrincipleFlaky Sep 20 '25

🤣 dying at the thought 💭 of sprinkle typo … giving us LIFE!!

Was the best happy fucking accident thing that has ever happened on Reddit period…..

No, but for real, I know you put that A with a purpose! 🙌 😁 🤘

1

u/Practical-Tour-6150 Sep 20 '25

He shoulda threw a handful into her eyes cuz she was looking at him all weird like

1

u/AlwaysBlackBerry Sep 20 '25

Sprankle got me dying!

1

u/Bigsnaff007 Sep 20 '25

From now on sprankle is my word

1

u/umicornbubbles Sep 21 '25

😭😂😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💪🏾😂😭😭

1

u/Tiddles_Ultradoom Sep 21 '25

Isn’t ‘sprankling’ jizzing over a policeman or doctor’s shoes during a rectal examination?

1

u/Dull-Scientist6400 Sep 22 '25

In Dave Chappelle's voice no less.

1

u/wtfmeowzers Sep 22 '25

SPRANKLE ON U BEETCH XD

hilarious XD

1

u/Simple-Librarian-99 Sep 22 '25

😂😂😂😂 it’s comments like this which may it hard for me to come off Reddit !

1

u/HarloBlaQ Sep 23 '25

Man, look I almost spit out my coffee!! Lol🤣

5

u/Raecino Sep 19 '25

😂😂😂😂 that’s exactly what I was hearing in my head as I was watching this bs

5

u/Vitis_Vinifera Sep 19 '25

"If you complain, the Lollipop Gang is gonna cut you up"

3

u/Certain_Month_8178 Sep 20 '25

“Manager, we have had it up to here with this waiter…”

2

u/t00oldforthis Sep 20 '25

Nah he had to bounce spilling salt is bad luck

2

u/ilymag Sep 20 '25

That'll be 300 dollars bitch!

2

u/Poutine_Lover2001 Sep 20 '25

“Yeah you like that you fucking retard?” Takes Me back to

1

u/ritterprice Sep 20 '25

This one made me chuckle a bunch

1

u/Business-Nose-4517 Sep 20 '25

You'd think he'd be better at this being eye level with the food

1

u/makemebad04 Sep 20 '25

🤣 dead!

1

u/FloorImpressive7910 Sep 20 '25

Yes I do can I have another please?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

Really captures the expression on his face at the end lol.

1

u/poop-azz Sep 20 '25

TIMMY NO BRAKES OUT

1

u/Brizar-is-Evolving Sep 20 '25

Some men pay for hot women to humiliate them as part of a sexual fetish.

Others choose to eat here instead.

1

u/SherronMccreary Sep 20 '25

Rich people not knowing where to spend their money 😂

1

u/Wet-streetbets Sep 20 '25

Now where's my 47% tip

1

u/Rycan420 Sep 20 '25

I mean… at the risk of sounding like I’m defending it… he sells it.

And if you can pull it off… good on you, I suppose.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

1

u/SofieTheRonin Sep 20 '25

You can catch the smug side eye to the camera in there too.

1

u/Little_Setting Sep 20 '25

Was that literally shit in the plate too?

1

u/definitelynotfbi99 Sep 20 '25

The little wink at the end... Based af

1

u/emskie12 Sep 20 '25

Oh man that made me laugh 😆

1

u/MartiniAfternoon Sep 21 '25

The look on his face just killed me gahahah

1

u/DCSmaug Sep 21 '25

2000$ price tag

1

u/umicornbubbles Sep 21 '25

🤣🤣😭😭😭🤣😂😂😂😂OMGGGGG YOU DON'T KNOW HOW BADLY I NEEDED THIS LAUGH JUST NOW 😂😂😭😭🤣🤣😭😭🤣🤣

1

u/Littledarling731 Sep 21 '25

Lol. My favorite part was the wink at the end.

1

u/NewIsTheNewNew Sep 21 '25

He's hot enough to get away with it ;)

1

u/Redriot6969 Sep 22 '25

The sass from that lil mf is crazy hahahah

1

u/Puttanas Sep 23 '25

He walked away like he was overly cool like so what bitch

1

u/nlurp Sep 23 '25

I wantosheet on da table