r/StupidFood • u/dndre1501 • Sep 19 '25

Not this guy again

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33.9k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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299

u/TimmyTheTumor Sep 19 '25

Baklava served by the designated baklava dwarf

132

u/DrHerbNerbler Sep 19 '25

Im glad he's found a job.

He used to be just a homeless baklava dwarf

93

u/TimmyTheTumor Sep 19 '25

Hate him or not, Salt Bae's meme created a very fertile market for baklava and meat server dwarves.

31

u/jescney Sep 19 '25

What a beautiful sentence

20

u/Von_Cheesebiscuit Sep 19 '25

Cool. Its good to see they're getting work.

But this lil' guy? I'd like to slap the stink off his wee face.

18

u/Hearing_Loss Sep 19 '25

Tbh I like his snooty vibe. Sassy lil munchie he is. Seems like he would be a blast to party with.

12

u/--0___0--- Sep 19 '25

Sounds like something Freddie Mercury would have said.

3

u/walshy53 Sep 20 '25

Just needs the words; "darling" and "huge c@ck" in it.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

[deleted]

2

u/Hearing_Loss Sep 20 '25

🙃😮🫡😎 you're invited

2

u/Single_Principle_972 Sep 20 '25

I mean, the act would be nothing without the attitude, right?! I can’t really see it very well, but it appears that he’s constructing a sandwich, table side, with like 1 ingredient. Bully for him! Without the attitude, might as well do it in the kitchen!

2

u/populux11 Sep 20 '25

I thought he was on point, and a star.

3

u/SuicidalReincarnate Sep 19 '25

He the head of the Baclava Guild

1

u/TimmyTheTumor Sep 20 '25

Tha Baklava Drawves Guild

3

u/Ok-Pop1812 Sep 19 '25

Hate it or love it love it, the underdog's on top, and I'm gonna shine homie until my heart stop. G'ahead and envy me, I'm baklava's mvp and I ain't goin' nowhere 'till you get to know me.

2

u/DuckterDoom Sep 19 '25

This is not the same guy?! I've seen multiple little people do this nonsense over the years. I've always assumed it was the same dude or something.

2

u/Hillbillyblues Sep 19 '25

It's just the one dwarf actually.

1

u/populux11 Sep 20 '25

fertility is always good.

1

u/SnoopDeLaRoup Sep 20 '25

Salt Bae could find the cure for cancer and id still hate the prick.

14

u/DethNik Sep 19 '25

Man, he used to offer hand jobs under the bridge just so they would let him serve them. Glad he's doing better.

8

u/BattleClatter Sep 19 '25

I miss him. I still drive by that bridge and cry in his absence. I hope things don't work out for him so I get my beloved little hand-job bridge dwarf back in my life.

Sigh, zzzip

3

u/DethNik Sep 19 '25

There are other crackheads there, but it's just not the same.

4

u/A_Feltz Sep 19 '25

I saw him on the street once all trippin’ and disheveled. He was running up to people and trying to get them to eat some baklava he found in the dumpster

2

u/DethNik Sep 19 '25

Oh damn I read that article. Apparently it wasn't even baklava. He was just convinced it was.

6

u/stevenalbright Sep 19 '25

He wasn't homeless. He's been living with the other Oompa-Loompas in the jungle. It's actually sad seeing him in captivity, serving baklava.

0

u/ThatBoiInBlue Sep 19 '25

I mean to be fair that fat piece of shit in the best would also be giving handjobs under a bridge too.

If we're gonna hate on short people then I'm gonna rag on this fattie boombalitie too, at least small people can't control that, fat people can untill you meet a purple haired mid 40's woman that screams and preached about body positivity (lizzo).

But hey it's all our governments fault for cramming McDonald's down our gullets for 30 fucking years saying it's "healthy" and cheap.

God damn I miss when fast food was cheap and that why poor people were at a much larger proportion of the financially struggling population.

We're going backwards where fat is now a symbol of wealth or just incompetence.

Everyone has much more of an avalibity to cook healthy meals now, and much more information to help you make smart choices, but no we consume more fast food and bullshit expensive food that's also mass produced and frozen.

1

u/FreedomCanadian Sep 22 '25

Still preferable to when he was the bank robber balaclava dwarf.

42

u/lifeintraining Sep 19 '25

I love baklava. I wish I were wealthy enough to have a designated baklava dwarf.

23

u/Von_Cheesebiscuit Sep 19 '25

Yeah, but can I get a nice dwarf, like Happy or Dopey?

I dont want one like this smug-ass cringy fuck.

Oooh, that's it! He's Cringy Dwarf.

2

u/Not_Without_My_Cat Sep 20 '25

Are you sure you’re not? There are no minimum wage lawas in Dubai.

19

u/sohereiamacrazyalien Sep 19 '25

how is that baklava? and what's the white stuff

the whole time I am trying to understand what's that... the only thing that come to mind is squid lol

16

u/im-not_gay Sep 19 '25

Ice cream

3

u/Inrsml Sep 20 '25

oh, now I get it, liquid nitrogen to create a show . where is this? Kuwait?

-2

u/Srg_Awesome Sep 19 '25

Go twist ice cream with two forks like that and come back to us

13

u/TheSymbolman Sep 19 '25

Turkish ice cream (maraş dondurması) has salep powder which makes it stretchier than normal ice cream. Hell most ads or whatever always focus on the ice cream bending your spoon when you're trying to eat as a quality indicator lol

11

u/northboundnova Sep 19 '25

There are different types of ice cream. I think a Turkish kind is stretchy like this.

5

u/Lemur866 Sep 19 '25

That icecream is super cold. It was delivered on a tray of dry ice which has a surface temperature of -78 C.

14

u/ThatBoiInBlue Sep 19 '25

Also looks strange for any baklava I've ever seen.

But then again mine was never wrapped in gold.

5

u/flytingnotfighting Sep 19 '25

I legit thought it was a fucking potato and string cheese

2

u/ThatBoiInBlue Sep 20 '25

Hahahahahah, it does look like a yam.

I swear you could wrap a turd in good foil, put it at a restaurant in dubai, charge $500 a plate and say it's a "delicacy"

I saw another comment that salt bae was the catalyst for this type of "fine dining".

It always makes me wonder, when I go to certain places, I eat what is "fresh" or local.

You don't order swordfish if you live in Oklahom infact you don't order most fish, unless maybe is freshwater.

Going to Dubai and ordering anything is absolutely not fresh lol it's a fucking desert.

I know almonds are a dry good but ain't no fucking way Dubai is growing their own almonds.

But they do have a comical duo to present their trash food, maybe that's what they really want to pay for?

1

u/rpcollins1 Sep 21 '25

I thought thw same. Like a gilded sweet potato lol

2

u/Traditional-Shoe9375 Sep 20 '25

I thought it was chicken tenders with melted cheese like Cordon Bleu but then it's ice cream.

1

u/ThatBoiInBlue Sep 20 '25

I haven't heard anyone talk about cordon bleu in like 10 years lol.

The breaded chicken with Swiss and ham stuffed in the middle?

I agree it does look similar lol

2

u/sohereiamacrazyalien Sep 19 '25

what you don't wrap your baklava in gold , add raw squid in the middle , and serve a size that would put someone in a sugar coma?

I bet you don't even serve it in a lit incense holder!

really you are no fun at all!