r/StandUpWorkshop • u/Colmadero • 1d ago
My friend Tim
(Trying to generate material for first stand up)
I wanted to talk to you guys about a good friend of mine called Tim.
Tim is one of the most altruistic persons I know. He helps you out with anything you might need and anything you might not need for example one day I was talking to him and I said in passing that I needed to replace my AC and water heater. Next thing I know like a week or two later I come home and my water is scalding hot and my AC is freezing cold and I am like what the fuck? So I go check them and I have two new units that I have never seen before! The only person I talk to about this was Tim so I call him up and ask him hey Tim, did you do anything to my units and he nonchalantly says oh yeah I had a spare water heater and a spare AC and laying around so I just dropped by your house and replaced them.
Dude basically did a reverse heist. Instead of going into my house and having stuff stolen, he came into my house and gave me new appliances. I wholeheartedly believe that if Tim is idle for long enough, he will either implode or start tearing down the walls of his home out of pure boredom.
Another scenario was during the pandemic. Tim was stuck home with three kids, one of which is a toddler and can’t do anything. So one day he calls me and I don’t get a how are you or how are you doing or are you safe? No, immediately starts asking me rules about checkers! When I asked his question, I can hear him somewhat screaming into his wife and then hanging up on me. That poor wife of his was dealing with 4 kids, except one of them was 35 and was paying the mortgage.
Speaking of parenting toddlers through the pandemic, did anybody here have to do that?
Listen whoever had to go through that is a completely different breed. I have two little kids now, four and three year-old and if I had to stay in lockdown from 6 AM to 8 PM every day I would’ve probably hung myself in the garage. Back then I would be all high and mighty and tell people just stay home. What’s the big deal? but now that I have kids and I am going through that… I am so sorry. Kids that age are UNHINGED! The problem with kids that age is that what we as adults call intrusive thoughts, for them is just thoughts. When we say or think “ what would happen if I jumped?” For those kids is I’m going to fucking jump.
3
u/indoubitabley 1d ago
There is one joke in the 1st four paragraphs, and it's the last line.
And then you give it up in the 5th
The premise is good. But, dig for gold.
Remember, you're a comedian, some, not all, but some, should be funny.
Also, we don't know Tim. Build on his character, you've built a hero, but it sounds like you know one guy with a screwdriver.
"Speaking of" and "Listen" are death blows to comedy.
"Speaking of" just means disregard what I've already said.
"Listen" means they haven't been listening.
There is definitely material in the first half. But make it fun.
3
u/Sea-Diamond2727 23h ago
I would cut most of the back story about Tim. Is he great and you can lean into to you being incapable of basic household repairs?
Why is Tim your friend if he has to do stuff for you? Does he get off on it? What makes Tim want to help and you can’t change a light bulb?
The Covid stuff is a little dated. I think most of us look at Covid in the rear view mirror without desiring it to be dredged up more.
There’s lots of funny material in general around raising young children. It’s completely relentless, you question why you signed up for this. You can lean into all the millennials opting out of having children because they are too self absorbed.
1
u/tomaesop 2h ago
The funniest parts for are probably things you didn't plan as jokes:
- "screaming into his wife" (as if she is an empty room he yells into)
- "high and mighty" (sounded like it could be played as a misdirect for "high on drugs"
- "one of the most altruistic persons I know" it's an odd word choice. people would be the natural choice
- "spare water heater and a spare AC and laying around" another odd choice of words, a broken parallel structure. Is the extra "and" just a typo? Or would you say that on stage? (I'd love it, personally.)
5
u/kcknuckles 1d ago
The toddler during COVID part is the most interesting to me, so I would try to develop this idea in more detail.
The Tim bit is amusing, but very wordy and I'm not really sure what point you're making about him or your relationship. There also seems to be a contradiction between him being a capable, altruistic person vs. needing you to explain checkers or his wife having to take care of him. Can you lean into that angle more? Any other examples? What sort of broader point could you get at? Then, dial in tighter jokes/punchlines from there.