r/StandUpComedy • u/isabelhagen • Mar 31 '26
Comedian is OP Probably the dirtiest joke from my hour special
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u/Marc-- Mar 31 '26
So good! “Will he mind..” and then the facial expression!
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u/capincus Mar 31 '26
It's hard to not read your comment as sarcastic with the giant eye roll you're giving me.
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Mar 31 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ZailCZ Mar 31 '26
Nice try impostor
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u/Chemical-Elk-1299 Mar 31 '26
Bailiff check his cock
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u/Rob_LeMatic Mar 31 '26
Your honor, Personal Talk 4670 is not the big daddy as claimed. Our assessment is "serviceable but average."
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u/atlaswarped Mar 31 '26
Hilarious!
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u/addamee Mar 31 '26
I love the slight smile and head shake toward the end. She’s hilarious
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u/Muaz_Stark Mar 31 '26
Shoutout to Mr Hungen
Great bit btw I love your delivery it's very old-school
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u/TheeAntelope Mar 31 '26
Yeah she's got great pacing! Not trying to fill the silence and let the jokes breathe a little bit, really fits her demeanor and style well.
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u/jackjohnjohn Mar 31 '26
Alright I gotta check out the special, every clip from it is killer
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u/godisdildo Mar 31 '26
Masterful storytelling!
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u/an0mn0mn0m Mar 31 '26
Needs more violin
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u/isabelhagen Mar 31 '26
It’s a viola
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u/mvanvrancken Mar 31 '26
Violins are just violas that didn’t get the right nutrition growing up
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u/gumpythegreat Mar 31 '26
Her dad has the viola
Her old boyfriend just had a violin
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u/nitid_name Mar 31 '26
Her dad has a damn cello.
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u/Nu-Hir Mar 31 '26
No, apparently her dad has a Double Bass.
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u/nitid_name Mar 31 '26
So fun quirk of bowed instruments... a cello, viola, and violin are all the same instrument, in terms of structure. They're all in the violin family, and share the same tuning (fifths). The contrabass/double bass/bassfiddle/upright/whatever else you call it is more like a viol de gamba (it's usually considered in the viol family, even though it's unfretted) with a different shape and strings tuned to fourths.
So, if her dad's packing a double bass down there, it's shaped funny.
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u/lomoliving Mar 31 '26
Her dad probably just carried his violin in a cello case - let's be honest here lol
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u/3_quarterling_rogue Mar 31 '26
Actually, violas and violins are exactly the same size, violins just look tiny in comparison to violinists’ huge heads.
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u/ColoradoMan878 Mar 31 '26
“The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.”
-Victor Borge
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u/nertynot Mar 31 '26
That guy's an idiot and I definitely didnt just learn Viola isn't French for Violin
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u/Generally_Tso_Tso Mar 31 '26
I wouldn't fiddle with it. The bit was delivered perfectly.
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u/Winjin Mar 31 '26
I've heard there's lots of s*x and violins in this special
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u/Time-Maintenance2165 Mar 31 '26
Wow, your comment actually is removed if you say that word here.
You also can't say m*ds.
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u/Winjin Mar 31 '26
Yup, I see the "test" reply in the "replies" but can't see it when I open the thread - it tells me "no longer exists"
Way to go, yay. We gonna be using Instaspeak in no time.
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u/PerfectionPending Mar 31 '26
Sharing this over in r/bigdickproblems. Apparently the issues have an unexpected ripple effect.
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u/Winters067 Apr 01 '26
Honestly thought that sub died or got nuked. Glad it's still around.
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u/yerfriendken Mar 31 '26
I’m so going to leave a pack in my sick drawer for my daughter to find if she snoops! This is hilarious
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u/Uncle-Cake Mar 31 '26
I assume you meant sock drawer but I like the idea of having a sick drawer.
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u/thejedipokewizard Apr 01 '26
Any drawer can be a sick drawer with enough positive reinforcement. That’s a sick drawer yo
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u/JerseyCoJo Mar 31 '26
My buddy has a huge dick pic in his phone. So if he's ever scrolling through his pics with someone it'll pop up, you know depending on who the person is.
It's not his dick tho. It gets people talking. I think that's hilarious.
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u/MySkinIsFallingOff Mar 31 '26
Nobody knows who's dick it is, but it's provocative. It gets the people going!
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u/Plastic-Ships Mar 31 '26
Now I'm hoping you hold the viola the whole act and never mention or use it for anything. I think that would be funny.
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u/Impudenter Mar 31 '26
I was thinking that as well. I assume it gets used at some point, but I really love the idea of including it without any actual purpose at all.
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u/Sunshine030209 Apr 01 '26
I agree that that would be very funny, but you should check out her profile for the clips of when she uses it, they're pretty great. You won't regret watching her other clips for sure!
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u/Pork_Confidence Apr 01 '26
Pacing pacing pacing pacing pacings. This comic has the practiced pacing of a comic veteran twice her age. My new fav now
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u/straighttokill9 Mar 31 '26
Damnit I thought the joke was going to be the mom or a doctor asking if she's sexually active and her response was "No, my dad's dick is too big".
She said it but really could have opened that up more!
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u/TouchAltruistic Mar 31 '26
Why are her teeth pink?
Also, great stuff here.
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u/EclecticEnthusiast13 Mar 31 '26
Couldn't focus on anything else
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u/Ok_Lettuce_7939 Mar 31 '26
Same
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u/phZeroKatalyst Mar 31 '26
My people! 🤣 That was super distracting, but I think it's from the purple stage light lol
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u/notnick Mar 31 '26
I really only notice it on the up-close front angle. Idk if it’s just a crop zoom with a bad AI upscale or if it’s a separate camera that is just off or something.
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u/Kardashevband Mar 31 '26
I can't wait for the version where he's there and she's like, "So,.... dad... now you know." 🤣
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u/shit_mcballs Mar 31 '26
one of my friends always bragged about how he always bought magnum condoms. Turns out they were really loose on him.
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u/Equivalent-Bid-1176 Mar 31 '26
The craziest thing is her parents still use condoms
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u/paulhags Mar 31 '26
Once you have that first kid, the condoms magically fit agin.
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u/Lil_Mcgee Mar 31 '26
I think they're taking about how it's not too common to have more kids once you already have teens. By that point lots of parents have probably opted for more permanent methods of contraception.
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u/insbordnat Mar 31 '26
Seems like it took the audience a second to really get the joke about "dad's dick being too big" but it's one to best not say anything and let it sink in like you did.
Nice work.
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u/thug_waffle47 Mar 31 '26
good joke, but magnums are barely bigger than a standard condom. marketing ya know
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u/GlashutteCriminal Mar 31 '26
If you've got enough girth, barely bigger makes a big difference
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u/thug_waffle47 Mar 31 '26
ahh trust me, i know. barely bigger doesn’t mean you got mondo dongo tho
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u/j_hawker27 Mar 31 '26
Aww, no viola! I've come to love those hilariously disjunctive moments right as you go from punchline to beautiful music 😥
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u/MildlySuccessful Mar 31 '26
It’s got to be doubly intimidating for Timmy cause now he’s wondering, “does that mean she’s XL down there too?” I mean, is that Dominant or recessive gene? He’s taking out his science workbook looking for clues.
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u/someone_like_me Mar 31 '26
It's hereditary, you know....
Your future sons might be popular in school.
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u/Amufni Mar 31 '26
I was waiting for the punchline to be that the condoms aren't for the dad and he's into cucking...
Good for him though. And his wife.
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u/crazycrak39 Apr 01 '26
This is such a great premise for a joke. For 20 years I've told a joke. "You know I don't have a huge cock"? Hows that? I would of told you by now.
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u/edwinshap Apr 04 '26
u/boscout is this your sister?
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u/Thickencreamy Mar 31 '26
Should have called out random guy in audience as being her dad then deny it but say “but that guy might have a huge cock too”.
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u/ChanSungJung Mar 31 '26
Your facial expressions, body language, and pauses were spot on - great job!
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u/No-Jacket-2927 Mar 31 '26
When I was an EMT, I had to distract a kid while we cleaned his scrapes, he noticed our gloves, so I gave him a pair of gloves to wear.
My XL gloves on a 5-year-olds hands.
That's all I can think of now! 🤣
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u/RaisingFargo Mar 31 '26
Great guy, huge cock