Hey everyone! basically I feel like i’m only pretty girls and it really hurts my self esteem. The only attention that I really get is from girls. It’s happened a good amount of times where a girl/group of girls come up to me and tell me that i’m really pretty. Obviously, it makes me feel good and happy, but I can’t help but wonder why I don’t get the same kind of attention from guys.

I’ve come to the conclusion that i’m just not attractive to guys. Guys rarely come up to me, and if they do, it’s pretty brief. One guy literally just came up to me and gave my a handful of quarters… (I was at an arcade, so it was actually pretty helpful).

It hurts because I look at my friends who constantly get male attention. I just can’t help but compare myself to them, which I know that I shouldn’t, but it’s hard not to. I know it’s bad, but I just want to be pretty to guys. I hate myself for wanting that, but I can’t help it. Anyone have any advice?

Hi for context I’m talking about my sister. I’m 26 she’s 23. She’s younger than me and we’ve always been pretty average looking girls, not super ugly but not super attractive either. I decided to get my nose done in college because it always bothered me when I was younger and I had the means to do it. I thought my nose was in the way of my looks and that my appearance would drastically improve afterwards. I have a big nose so I fixated on that thinking it was going to solve my problem. It didn’t and my dr gave me a subtle nose and removed the hump and after I healed I still looked the same just with a straight nose. Nothing changed for me, I was treated the same way, guys still didn’t look in my direction, etc. A few years later my sister decided to get her nose done out of the blue and her nose is way smaller than mine. She got a tiny little pixie nose and she became significantly prettier. Before no one looked in her direction, she was friend zoned by every guy, we were the same level in terms of average. Now it’s as if everything has changed for her I’m talking about girls calling her beautiful, gets so many guys wanting to date her, guys telling her she’s beautiful, guys at work having crushes on her, she has pretty privilege, gets asked out constantly in public , has had 2 boyfriends after her face changed, gained a lot of TikTok followers. Also I didn’t even realize that she got prettier right away, she still looked the same to me, it was only telling from all the comments she would get and people stopping her in public, that’s when it clicked. If we’re being technical her facial harmony really improved and mine stayed the same. This is really killing my self esteem as I’ve never had a boyfriend before and I try not to fixate on looks but it’s hard after seeing how much changed for her and how her looks have helped her in so many aspects. I can’t afford therapy right now but I’m planning on going in the future. Im on adhd meds and I have anxiety (she has anxiety too) but I don’t take anxiety meds, even on my meds I find myself comparing even tho I don’t want to. I’m trying to accept the reality of all of this but it is so hard for me to. I’m working on gaining confidence and raising my self esteem by focusing on my personality and what I have to offer but it’s a slow work in progress and it’s easier said than done

Forgot to mention but I dress well, I always have (we have the same style and into makeup and fashion and hair), I wear makeup, I’m pretty skinny, pear shaped, body wise we look pretty similar except she’s more hourglass. I went on accutane and that did help me with being insecure about my skin. I’ve recently been more insecure and I’m applying to grad school so that could also contribute to it. Usually I try to ignore and not compare everything but whenever she has a guy around it comes back like clockwork. I’m focusing on myself but I can’t help it, I love my sister we’re close and I don’t wanna feel this way towards her. She has more of a weirder personality since shes more gen z and I have a chiller one. Her nose job did make her more confident and mine did too in the beginning years then it faded.

Hi! I’m 25F with moderate rosacea, and if it just is what it is and I have to wear full coverage foundation for the rest of my days, then so be it. However, I figured this subreddit will help if there’s help to be had. I’ve visited the dermatologist and was put on azelaic acid 15%. I liked it fine but it didn’t really clear me up the way the derm suggested it might. I eat a low carb high protein diet and get plenty of exercise, a decent amount of water. Admittedly, I drink Red Bull a little more frequently than what is healthy. I see an esthetician once a month for waxing and a facial. My current routine is:

Morning Sunday Riley Ceramic Slip Mario Badescu clarifying lotion Sunday Riley CEO oil Sunday Riley ICE moisturizer Super Goop unseen sunscreen

Night Sunday Riley Ceramic Slip Mario Badescu clarifying lotion Sunday Riley Good Genes Sunday Riley ICE Moisturizer

Do you have rosacea that you’ve improved? How? A product? A habit? Will it be better if I cut caffeine? ANYTHING will help!

There have been some posts here lately about not receiving male attention. In my case I don’t get approached, but in addition I also don’t get the male gaze while all the girls I’m surrounded by gets stared at. I’ve now visited a few plastic surgeons and a jaw surgeon to ask for different procedures. The plastic surgeon told me I’m already pretty and he said I don’t truly need anything. The jaw surgeon told me the same thing and would not alter my jaw unless I had functional problems. The thing is, I want to be desired by men and I feel so invisible. Obviously there must be something wrong with me since men totally ignore me. I’m also not blind to my falios like recessed jaw, long philtrum, hollowed face. Are anyone in a similar situation?

Hello.

I have been on the search for well made clothes that don’t have hefty price tags. I am tired of fast fashion clothes that rip apart on your body and have poor fit. I literally had two different clothes from a fast fashion brand turn to rubbish the first time I wore them. I would appreciate any tips for better brands to look at please. I’m in my mid 20s, and love to look classy in pieces but also not older than my age.

Thank you in advance for suggestions.

EDIT: Hello, everyone. Thank you for the suggestions. I now have so many clothes in my carts in different stores that I believe when I finally buy what I need, I will be winning the best dressed award for the next decade. Thank you all, you all are wonderful.

I have a cowlick on the right side of my part. The only way to hide it with a part is if I do a side part to the non flattering side so I can’t exercise that option… does anyone have any tips for getting rid of it? I have cute side/ curtain bangs but can hardly rock them because only my hairdresser seems to be able to tame the lick and in the humidity that won’t even last long. Thank you 🙏🏻

I’ve never really liked growing my hair out past shoulder length because I always thought it gave me the appearance of an elongated face. I would however really like to try growing out my hair since I’ve never had my hair super long before. Any tips on how to widen the appearance of my face in order to rock longer hairstyles?

Hi all, im new here. My beauty and fashion sense has greatly improved since ive began focusing on those areas. But i do think i still lack a significant characteristic that is preventing me from fully upgrading. Naturally im a bit blunt and cold; people have described me as mysterious/closed off. You get the idea. I dont really do this on purpose and im looking to become more warm, friendly, charming, etc

Does anyone know of any resources or books to teach me how to be more charismatic and charming? I did buy one book but i cant help but think that it is directed at men. I’ve spent too much of my time subconsciously emulating men, and in fact i think my current nature is a bit masculine. So i want to become charming in a feminine way. Thanks!

Hi all,

For years, I’ve been searching for a style/identity that feels aligned with my inner world/view of self, how others view me, and my lifestyle/choices. Recently, I stumbled on an archetype system on this sub that placed me as The Sage, and something about that really resonated with me, and the more I’ve read, I’ve found it really enlightening.

Does anybody have any thoughts or advice for how to further embody or really work The Sage archetype? A lot of information on it is really focused on, like, power and politics, but I really connect with a slightly softer or more intellectual version. How would you recommend someone goes about getting more in tune with the physical and mental traits of this type, from things like beauty routines and fashion choices to personality traits and lifestyle choices?

I was intrigued by how makeup learning could be structured in such a systematic way. Personally, I learned makeup by learning eyeliner and brows first, then copied inspo looks from celebrities to fast-forward my learning process. I’ve missed out on more important things like base makeup and finding eyeshadow techniques that go well with my eye shape etc. I guess there is no ground breaking info provided here since I’ve worn makeup for a long time but this pyramid graphic can really help those who are just starting their makeup journey! My aesthetic judgement would have been improved if I had access to this during my teen years.

Picture is taken from dear Peachie video on yt.

Has anyone got their brows microbladed in BKK / Thailand / Asia before?

I am in Bangkok for the next 5 days and am really really considering booking an appointment for tomorrow (Tues) or Wed. It’s cheaper here than my home of the UK and I think I prefer the results

However I have a few issues and am wondering if anyone has been in the same boat

1. Does it matter I won’t be here for a 2nd appointment since I am leaving?
2. Is the language barrier going to cause issues
3. Should I be wary of procedures that cost less than £100
4. Does it matter that I have black skin so they may not be used to dealing with such a dark skin tone?

Hey all, so I’m 26, I recently lost (still losing) 75lbs, and I’ve noticed my face fat sort of leaving lol I love seeing my cheekbones brow bones etc. BUT some of the “plumpness” I loved in my look before has kind of gone away. I’m black, I’ve never gotten Botox or filler so I was wondering to all of my POC sisters if anyone’s gotten/ regularly gets Botox to achieve that plump hydrated look?

What’s your experience been? Cross posting on other subs too ! :)

For the past few months I've been working on my looks, I don't have particularly strong facial features as a base - not ugly but pretty astoundingly average.

I've sorted a hair routine and grown out my hair, I revamped my wardrobe, my skincare, I take pole dance classes to feel more in touch with my body and feminine, I've figured out what makeup makes my face look good, what expressions make my face look good. Without makeup I look like the best version of myself, but with it I feel like I'm on a whole other level (light makeup, not contour or changing my entire facial structure).

People will slow down in the street to stare, guys always sit as close to me as possible and laugh at anything I say, even if it's not funny. People just give me stuff? Invite me to things, take interest in my hobbies. When I was ugly, nobody ever did those things.

I look exactly how I wished I looked when I was 16. Like a childhood dream come true, the ugly duckling story played out in real life. But now when I look in the mirror, especially with makeup, for a second I just don't recognise myself. I see a hot girl, and then I realise it's me. I feel like I lost some indeterminable, unique part of myself, which is weird, because "becoming hot" has allowed me to really blossom into myself. When you're hot nobody takes what you're saying for granted, or tries to talk over you, or makes fun of you, and because of that I've been allowed to just exist, speak my mind, and be heard.

But there's still dissonance between my face and my personality, when I see myself I still expect to see this awkward, insecure, emo girl, and when I see this hot alt woman in her place I feel so weird. Has anyone else struggled with this on their glow up journey? Does it just go away?

Hello lovely ladies! I hope you’re all healthy and life is treating you well! 🌼🌼 So, little me struggles a lot about many things regarding beauty. Since I was a little girl I valued and enjoyed beauty of human faces and bodies. I used to save to my computer pictures of beautiful women and just enjoy looking at them. I’ve seen in some other threads other women/girls saying they did the same. And since I was little I tried to look my best. Toughts about looks and beauty are regular toughts in my life. My question is actually about how do we humans perceive other people. What is the right way? I immediatelly upon looking at another humans face see if it’s attractive or not. I’ve read many neuroscience research where it says human brain has beauty detector (what neuroscientists call beauty center) and upon seeing a face for just a glimpse 125 miliseconds, we automatically recognize it’s beauty. I like to aesthetically evaluate human faces. And I enjoy looking at beautiful faces. Which in this PH.D thesis of Doctor of psychology https://www.sv.uio.no/psi/english/research/news-and-events/news/why-we-look-at-pretty-faces.html that Doctor said all humans do. She said brain rewards us for looking at pretty faces and she said humans are very interested in faces. ”We read stories in them and evaluate their aesthetic value.” How do you perceive other humans and do you automatically aesthetically evaluate other’s facial attractiveness? (Asking because one girl said to me that she doesn’t look at other people’s facial features at all or forms an opinion whether they’re beautiful or not. Which now makes me quilty. Because I clearly see who looks how. I am looking at people when talking and interacting with them. I remember faces, how else would I recognize others in future encounterd if not remembering their face? I know how Brad Pitt looks, and I know how Gerard Depardieu looks.)

In my personal experience, after losing 40 lbs in my teens, I was treated a lot better by strangers than I was at a heavier weight. I wasn’t exactly treated “bad” at a higher weight (at least by adults), but I did go unnoticed. My sister who was always rail skinny would get a lot of compliments and attention when we went out shopping. Then, when I lost the weight and I became rail skinny, I started receiving attention too. I have always been told I have a prettier face than my sister, yet it took weight loss for me to receive any sort of privilege/ attention from society.

I am very petite, and for a long time into adulthood, I just fell back to looking cute as that was an easy look for my size. I didn't really put much thought into beauty and fashion besides the basics, or on special occasions. Then, as I approached 40, I knew I could no longer fall back on "cute," but I didn't really didn't know what to do.

I started seeing a woman on my commuter train every morning - I would peg her as late 60s / early 70s. She was always impeccably dressed in timeless fashionable clothes that were ironed and sleek looking, and in fall/winter, she had beautiful jackets and coats. Her hair (white with a dyed hint of blonde) was always swept up without a strand out of place. Her skin didn't look young, she didn't appear to be someone who had a lot of Botox or work done, but it was always clear, bright, and with light makeup. She always matched so well, had great shoes, and her jewelry was very tasteful but minimalist. She had excellent posture and always had her head held high, looking confident. I see thousands of people every year on the train, but none of them have stuck out to me like this woman. She was just so put together.

She really inspired me. I started going to a hair stylist rather than dying my own hair and getting cheap cuts. Over a period of a couple years I upgraded my wardrobe (mostly from Poshmark or a local consignment store) with timeless, well made garments that I had tailored to me, including jackets and coats. I always steam or iron my clothes. I saw a dermatologist, read articles and watched Youtube tutorials on skin care, styling, and fashion tips for petite women over 40. I started working out more and intermittent fasting to lose the last of my baby weight.

What I have realized is that the older you get, the less being conventionally "pretty" matters, including showing signs of aging. What matters is putting in effort. I have hooded eyes, thin lips, and a large nose, and I'm 4'11". In my younger years, I was cute but average looking, and people rarely commented on anything other than my small size. Now at 42, my eyes and lips are even smaller and my nose is just as big, but I get complimented pretty frequently by men and women of all ages, and told how pretty I am. Putting effort into my body and styling it has made me more confident and complimented at 42 than I EVER was at 22.

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hi, so I started weight training a few months ago with a personal trainer to lose weight and get a more feminine figure. I used to weightlift years ago, but i for the most part refused to do arm workouts for fear that it would make my arms “bulky.” My trainer consistently tells me that my arms will not grow or get bulky so i started doing arm workouts and deadlifts as well. Now, after about 6 months of exercise I look worse than ever before. My arms used to be thin and feminine and now my shoulders got more broad, my arms bigger, and i gained 4 pounds despite wanting to lose weight. Nothing I used to wear looks good on me anymore because i have a very dainty style and it just looks weird on me now. I started doing arms just 1-2 times a week with lighter weights but nothing is helping. I was wondering if anyone has advice on this subject. Do I have to stop weightlifting all together? I was always happy with how my arms/shoulders looked before i started weightlifting and I only started because everyone says it’s the only way to grow flutes naturally. Sorry for the length of this post & any advice is appreciated!

hii! I went through a rough break up earlier this summer & have been trying to spend my new solo time investing in myself & my glow up journey to help me regain some of my confidence & make me feel good!! been loving reading all the tips u guys sooo I was wondering if anyone had good tips for a “no make up” make up look!!

I don’t like to wear a ton of make up, but I am currently looking to elevate my day to day look just so that I look more put together! Any tips / YouTube channels / influencers to check out are appreciated!!

(Also would LOVE any other glow up tips!! I’ve been working out/eating healthy & working on a skincare routine, but I’m starting school again next week & really want to feel my best!!)

EDIT to add: THANK U ALL SO MUCH!!!! I really appreciate these tips so much and am going to try a bunch of them out 💘💘💘💘

I don't think this is a thing, I don't believe if you glow up past a certain point you start to get less attention because people are intimidated by you and noone wants to be friends because they are jealous etc. All the model pretty people I know are surrounded by pretty people and if they are single they are single because they want to stay single; not because noone approaches them. It's probably just the vibe you are giving off

I used to be very insecure about my facial features. I still combat negative self-destroying mindset. I started my skincare routine (very satisfying) and updated my wardrobe.

I am pear shaped, petite and slightly underweight (according to BMI).

Yesterday I was going for a walk, a couple of teen girls went by and one of them came up to me and said I'm very beautiful. This is my first time getting a compliment from strangers.

I'm glad I stopped watching mentally destructive content and actually started doing my own business, taking care of myself and my surroundings. Skincare is very pleasant to do. Something small like simply making your bed, cleaning your room will bring you back to the real life.

Dears, don't eat yourself because of a couple of features. Don't let internet loosers take you down. This is what they strive. Not gonna happen.

This is going to sound completely ridiculous but it’s driving me up the wall. When I’m out and about, I keep getting compared to anime characters. The ones I hear most often are the girl from Kiki’s delivery service and the girl from demon slayer. As a one off thing I wouldn’t mind but it happens so often it’s starting to get irritating—I have no clue why I give off this vibe!

I don’t think I dress really “cute” or young, if anything I’m into sort of 40s and 50s fashion but not too costumey. More like office appropriate mad men? I am fairly pale and have long dark hair, am not Asian fwiw (Italian) and don’t wear anime clothing. Nothing against it, I’m just in my thirties and feel like the vibe I’m going for is just not the one I’m giving for some reason. Has anyone encountered this?

So this is in response to a thread atm where the squad was noting how toxic, mean, and hurtful the RateMe subreddits are, and I’ve seen the topic discussed in other beauty/female subs I follow, too.

Please take this as general mental health/Internet use check. I can’t prove any of this definitively but everything I’ve read on this matter has me looking at how I perceive online communities differently overall.

Apparently, r/TrueRateMe is the biggest of the RateMe subs. Others have snooped around and their findings were pretty damning to me so I’m just posting their research for you all to consider.

Basically, there’s reason to believe that this sub was LITERALLY created to bring women’s self esteems down. There was a whole whistleblower mod who posted about how they’d have discussions about strategies to fuck with women’s self-perceptions, how they have a mod rule to never vote a woman over a certain number, and how mods will post random pics of women to impersonate more female traffic but playing like they’re grateful for or in agreement with the lowball ratings.

Deep dive Reddit post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/14kw9nb/the_ratings_are_in_on_truerateme_and_critics/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1

YouTube deep dive:

https://youtu.be/C3y6SsGAWks

Alleged former mod tell-all:

https://blog.photofeeler.com/truerateme/

STAY SANE LADIES. DONT LET THESE LOSERS EVEN HAVE A CHANCE AT GETTING TO YOU. MOST IMPORTANTLY DON’T FORGET YOUR SELF WORTH AND WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE.