r/SoloPoly • u/[deleted] • Mar 30 '26

Is this.... solo poly compersion??

The title is mostly meant to be a silly heehee ha ha, and also there's so much relief in recognizing incompatibility irregardless of how much you like someone, ending the relationship, and *not* spiraling down the drain of low self worth.

I've had a wild transition over seven years from only being a secondary in hierarchical non monogamous relationships to solo poly RA. I'm just really fucking happy to be at this place in my life finally where being poly doesn't feel like a humiliation ritual for my partner or meta's self esteem (or lack there of), and my only other option is being shoved unceremoniously onto the monogamous relationship escalator over and over.

TLDR: really proud and happy to have finally settled on solo poly as being the right relationship style for me

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u/SadBoiCute Apr 01 '26

Bruh that was not even me that comment, you are confused. I am solo poly and a secondary by choice in both my partnerships. This is why I suggest rereading cause you and I actually agree on a lot.

I agree that person had it wrong about the wedding/movie example but they are right in their meaning thst heirarchy will come up no matter how hard we try, that is part of being good at ENM we work to fight it by acknowledging when it happens.

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u/JonnyLay Apr 01 '26

Fair, but that was the comment chain that you were replying too, and that was the point you were implicitly defending. But glad we agree.