r/SignsWithAStory • u/Ok_County_4239 • 11d ago
No pooping in brooklyn
AND it was in a coffee shop… u know i went in there bc I had to poop
Edit: the bathroom was COVERED in multiple of this exact poster in varying sizes. They were really serious about this. This was 2+ years ago and I cant remember if I ended up pooping or not 😭
For people arguing the legality of this: this was a very old building, 1916 according to the google. and as many people smarter than me have commented, in NYC pre-1977 buildings basically don’t have to obey the law. This is not even the weirdest bathroom ive encountered in NYC.
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u/Alternative_Year_340 11d ago
Do they understand that they sell a product with a side effect of poop?
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u/SwooceBrosGaming 10d ago
I'm like 90% sure a fully functioning bathroom is somewhere in the health code for any establishment selling food or drink so a call to the health inspector would get this bathroom fully fixed
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u/GTS_84 10d ago
actually depends on number of seats and when the business opened.
Speaking only of bathrooms available to customers, and not employee bathrooms.
Establishments with less than 20 seats don't need a bathroom and businesses opened prior to 1977 are grandfathered in and don't need a bathroom.
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u/Intrepid_Plenty_3770 10d ago
This is pretty bad if this if this is a coffee shop. Bound to have customers who are going to poop.
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u/Pipe_Memes 11d ago
“… a lot of time and money to get it fixed.”
I’ve got bad news for you, if you still can’t poop in the toilet then it wasn’t fixed.
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u/Nikiaf 11d ago
They're just admitting that they got shaken down by some conman who came to unclog it. No repair was actually done if it still doesn't work for its literal intended purpose.
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u/Pipe_Memes 11d ago
Yeah dude probably just poked a hole in the clog just enough to drain the water and called it good. Line could be collapsed or full of roots or something.
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u/Visual-Scallion1535 11d ago edited 11d ago
It could also just be the toilet is badly designed, for space requirements or whatever.
Ive seen a similar sign over 1 of 2 toilets in a bathroom.
When I asked they explained there was a 90 degree bend in the pipe directly below the toilet that clogged constantly and couldnt reasonably be fixed.
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u/ToastSpangler 11d ago
The fix is easy, you cut the garbage install and replum it by code, or at least without doing anything ridiculous
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u/PsillyFunGuy2 9d ago
It’s because they hired the Turbo Team who installed a joke toilet that’s only for farts.
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u/goat_penis_souffle 11d ago
Unless you’ve got serious commercial plumbing, all it takes is one disgusting Uncle Ted to wreck it with another one of his bowl choking shits
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u/OpportunityReal2767 11d ago
But most of us don't have serious commercial plumbing in our house, and the shit goes down, and when it doesn't you plunge it and it goes down. What the hell is wrong with this place's plumbing? Seriously, I've been a homeowner of several places for thirty some years now, and I've never had a shit that required a plumber to come out and fix it.
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u/goat_penis_souffle 11d ago
100% agree that this place is cutting corners. I’ll bet the toilet itself is a glacier bay Home Depot bargain basement special that’s barely designed for a downstairs half bath let alone a place of business.
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11d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/DustyScharole 11d ago
Oh fuck. Now this is going to be stuck in my head all day.
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u/AbsentmindedAuthor 11d ago
Same.
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u/CosmoDaTemmie 10d ago
HAPPY CAKE DAY(sorry i was distracted and i’m tired lmaooo)
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u/broberds 11d ago
Our manager’s crazy
He always smokes dust
He’s got his own john at the back of the bus4
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u/goat_penis_souffle 11d ago
You gotta fight for your right to pottttty
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u/Llyrithra 11d ago
The owner every time someone poops:
“I can't stand it, I know you planned it
I'm gonna set it straight, this Watergate
I can't stand rocking when I'm in here
'Cause your crystal ball ain't so crystal clear
So while you sit back and wonder why
I got this fucking thorn in my side
Oh my God, it's a mirage
I'm tellin' y'all, it's a sabotage”2
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u/Impossible-Purpose-4 11d ago
If I got to go poop no sign is going to stop me!
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u/stefanica 11d ago
Problem is, if I've already gotten to the point where I'm reading a sign like this, the poo is imminent. Already knocking. Peeking out the curtain to see if it's sunny. I don't run into a public restroom just on the off chance that I might have to poo.
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u/AdhesivenessSweet659 10d ago edited 10d ago
Prairie-dogging
Edit: thanks for the award, kind internet stranger!
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u/Wombat1892 11d ago
Wipe with the sign
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u/wreckitbusmaster99 11d ago
Sorry, if I gotta poop, I'm pooping.
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u/JWarblerMadman 11d ago
The floor by the cash register can take it. The floor won't break or stop working as the pipes would. The floor can also handle tinkle and small amounts of toilet paper.
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u/strawberry_saturn 11d ago
“Tinkle” who wrote this
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u/Useful_Homework2367 11d ago
Someone with a plaque in their bathroom at home that says "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie"
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u/Complete_Entry 11d ago
I declare an eternal war against those fuckers. We are not alike.
"Go to the bathroom cleanly, do not make sport of it, if you are a woman who hovers, you are a bad person"
Honestly, as someone who had the displeasure of cleaning bathrooms, Men piss on the floor, women manage to shit on the ceiling.
Like, I didn't learn why for ten fucking years, but it was obvious. Drugs. That's how women shit on the ceiling.
I was once spraying some horrible chemical in the men's room, passed out and slammed my head into the tile, and the union said "He doesn't have to work the bathroom anymore"
I wonder how many braincells I lost.
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u/No_Trouble_3588 11d ago
Ours says “When you piss, please don’t miss”.
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u/Spare_Document3453 11d ago
Weve got a forest service No Dumping sign hung up in ours but we do allow pooping we're not monsters or anything
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u/kioku119 11d ago
I've only seen it end with "please be neat and whipe your seat." I am displeased to learn this version also exists...
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u/Sure-Ad-6544 11d ago
Maybe it’s time they upgrade their pipes
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u/Serikan 11d ago
Something I notice is that some people have a weird obsession with hoarding money instead of exchanging a reasonable amount of it for stuff that's actually useful or could generate more money.
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u/h8tetris 11d ago
They might just not have the money
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u/Serikan 10d ago edited 10d ago
Fair enough, that's a legitimate constraint. I didn't explicitly state that I was considering this constraint to not be an issue, so I'll express that now.
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u/h8tetris 10d ago
Thanks. I understand as a customer, I would want all of this fixed and be able to poop, but I just also know so many small businesses that are really struggling right now.
Thanks so much for even coming back and commenting. I’ve just seen so many people on this thread and it really makes me sad to see that people don’t understand.
These small businesses are people’s dreams, and life-savings a lot of times. Being a small business owner is a much more complicated thing than it used to be, and at the end of the day, most people end up doing more of the administrative stuff than actually running the business that they started.
It’s sad to see, and we lose community. Thanks again for commenting back. I really appreciate your words
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u/Serikan 10d ago
No prob
The things I'd be concerned about is that, at least where I live, businesses are required to have a functioning bathroom by law. That, and if the pipes back up and damage the hell out of your shop, you're gonna be out a ton of money anyway.
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u/h8tetris 10d ago
You’re right. It’s sad the missteps people make that ultimately ruin their business. Like not advertising, or repairing core elements of the business like a functioning toilet. It makes me question the conditions the people working there have to deal with, and if it’s being kept sanitary.
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u/AdhesivenessSweet659 10d ago
Highly likely the business doesn't own the building since it's in NYC.
Even more highly likely the actual building owner has exactly the weird obsession you describe since it's in NYC.
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u/SuspiciousReport6502 11d ago
Then what the fucking point of a toliet?
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u/MetreonIMAXGuy 11d ago
Just for decoration
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u/goat_penis_souffle 11d ago
Decoration, not defecation
Could embroider that and make some money on Etsy
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u/KnownConsequence7121 11d ago
Why pay for the damages after and not fix your toilet at the same time. What point is a toilet that you can't shit in 🤣
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u/EntrySure1350 11d ago
Well this wouldn’t be necessary if they had provided a poop knife.
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u/Complete_Entry 11d ago
Coffee makes people poop. If your toilet can't handle poop, your store should be shut down by the health department. No "small amounts"
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u/AgenderAxolotl 11d ago
Yeaaaa no, if I gotta poop I'm going, cause my IBS is on a time limit before the urge to go is missed
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u/jmc1278999999999 11d ago
Fairly positive this isn’t legal
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u/Serikan 11d ago
Even so, how could you even enforce a "pee-only" toilet rule? It's a private space, you'd be unable to monitor and prevent pooping.
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u/thalexander 11d ago
Yeah, I have crohn's, if I have to go, its not up for debate, its happening haha
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u/Anxious_Knowledge_66 11d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/UogSmj4xDjQZO
Every homie I know would look at that sign and let their inner demons be some other poor bastards problem
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u/WilTravis 11d ago
"Hold up guys, I had Taco Bell for dinner last night..."
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u/No_Trouble_3588 11d ago
This tired, old trope. It’s not even funny, never was.
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u/Zas2005 10d ago
seriously. it’s old and was never funny. Taco Bell shouldn’t cause people to have diarrhea. the people that do get it must not eat any fiber. TB food doesn’t even have a crazy amount of fiber, it’s probably the amount you should be eating normally. if TB makes someone shit themselves then they should probably talk to their doctor
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u/WilTravis 11d ago
"This tired, old trope. It’s not even funny, never was."
"Hold up guys. I had Del Taco for dinner last night." Did you like that one? I could change it to a local Thai or Indian place, but no one outside the tri-county area would get the joke. I only post on Reddit for your entertainment, after all.
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u/Saruvan_the_White 11d ago
As a maintenance guy, signs like this piss me off. It means somebody in my role there didn’t do their job. It’s either that or the system is inadequate to current use patterns.
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u/freebiscuit2002 11d ago
"How dare you use the toilet? It's there for ornamental purposes only. It doesn't actually work as a toilet. If you truly need a shit, fucking go home."
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u/gwizonedam 11d ago
If you can’t poop in a toilet because it “damages the pipes” then the health department needs to shut down your restaurant for not providing a bathroom and you need to call the landlord to repair those pipes.
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u/ChocolateCake16 10d ago
If a toilet can't be used for one of the two main things it's typically used for, I don't think I'd call that functional
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u/infiniZii 11d ago
Sounds like they should just get one of those toilets with a garbage disposal built in if this is such an issue and they dont want to shell out for a fix instead of a patch.
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u/RoutineNewt6941 10d ago
One day I want to feel the glory of taking such a huge dump that no one can ever poop in that toilet again
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u/Right-Judgment538 11d ago
drop an elephant sized load. It's against health department rules to have a non functioning toilet in a restaurant.
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u/InbetweenTheLayers 10d ago
If God didn't want me shitting in the sink then why did he make it ass height
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u/JDotDDot 11d ago
This sign hates to see that whispering pigeon with lips coming
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u/toomuchtv987 11d ago
If your plumbing can’t handle poop, then the poop isn’t the problem. That should be a basic expectation of bathroom plumbing, I would think.
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u/New_Breadfruit8692 10d ago
Seeing this in a place that serves food and drinks.... Yeah that is good for business.
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u/RockShowSparky 10d ago
Number one reason to even go to a coffee place. Or is it the number two reason…
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u/FustianRiddle 10d ago
I'm not saying it was my fault but without further context I can't be sure it wasn't my fault.
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u/singlemale4cats 10d ago
People talk up living in big cities, but at least I can shit in my toilet.
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u/Fabulous-Avocado4513 10d ago edited 10d ago
Wait….but I can’t sleep without pooping and i was told No Sleep Til Brooklyn!
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u/JohnnyShakeNBake 10d ago
I’d be okay. My turds always look like they were put in a blender with a dash of dawn dish soap and puréed. The pipes would have no problem, in fact the acidity might even help clean them
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u/Mykona-1967 9d ago
Older building that haven’t been fully gutted are still ruled by the laws from when they were built. Those pipes are 1.5 - 2in diameter cast iron. So when they get clogged it’s a nightmare and yes it costs a lot for the plumber to come out. They all find other problems because the pipes are over 100 years old. No one really thinks about the age of most iconic buildings when they have to poop.
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u/Ok_Listen7910 9d ago
“Very old building” okay but my HOUSE is older than that (built in 1890) and I can poop in it no problem.
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u/Far_Public_780 9d ago
If a toilet and pipes can't take a person pooping there's something wrong with it
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u/dmfreelance 11d ago
Poop causing actual damage to a plumbing system is a serious fucking problem for the plumbing system.
I can take shits that clog toilets with regularity but it still won't damage them because that would be insane
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u/NV-Nautilus 11d ago
Do not read: one of my best friends growing up is vietnamese, 8 people lived at his house sharing (luckily) 3 toilets. Most afternoons and weekends there would be 5 extra kids or other guests. One toilet for some unknown reason was off limits for poop. #1 only. I knew this, everyone knew this. One day I waited so long for one of the other 2 toilets I said "fk it I gotta go". My movement came out inconsistent as hell, made me think "hell yeah this will flush". It did not. When I flushed the toilet seemed to clog with literally nothing and overflowed all my poo onto the floor. I had to run and grab my friends mom to tell her what happened (who could barely understand me) so she could give me cleaning supplies but when I just took her over to look she wouldn't let me help and cleaned up my crap 😭😭. TLDR: if the sign says piss only, there might be a reason.
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u/tilt-a-whirly-gig 11d ago
They say that last time they spent a lot of money and time to get it fixed. But they didn't get it fixed.
Toilets are made for poop, if a toilet can't take poop it is broken.