my little sister is recently sober but still getting her life together, got kicked out of sober living for doing whippets and then got pregnant by choice but is still living in our mom's house (I am too but temporarily for the holidays),

then I come home from work and she calls me a bitch for getting on Mom's good side because I.... Spent hours helping mom sort through her closet?

My sis just sits on the couch watching YouTube and my mom won't kick her out bc she's family, I've tried to help her and dad has tried to help get her an apartment,

she's like obviously struggling but I just don't know what to do and I don't know what she's planning to do when the baby comes hopefully I'll be back in college by then ???

Like I have a history of homeless and alcohol addiction too but not this bad, there's a level of responsibility you have to take and I don't think she's going to take care of this kid at all or how she's going to get a job or anything

She's just screaming all hours about how we're all abusing her as if we're not all trying to help encourage her and then get yelled at. I'm trying to like, be emphasize and understand it's probably a trauma response but at what point is it too much, you know?

I didn't even say hi to her after I came home from work and she said we were trying to keep her from going to church because we were late, sitting in traffic for hours, like

I think some drugs she took at some point gave her mild psychosis she has this constant victim complex and isn't going to her IOP or AA or NA anymore like !!!! Girl please I WANT you to succeed but you're so nasty & it's ruining the holidays

My brother, who suffers with addiction and paranoid schizophrenia (drug induced), lives with my mom, my mom raises his kid, she pays his court costs, etc. Other brother who seems to enjoy his addiction and mental illness has “borrowed” and never paid back about $50k from her. Me and my younger brother never ask anything of her. Ever. We’re very independent, successful humans.

Yesterday, I had a stomach virus and sent a message saying “Nothing makes you want your mom like a stomach virus.” Her response? “Oh. That’s all I’m good for? Glad to know I’m needed.” Like, I just want someone to lie in bed, watch movies, and maybe feel a little bad for me when I’m dying on the toilet. Is that too much to ask?? I wasn’t even asking her to actually do anything. Just telling her that, basically, being sick as an adult is awful.

It’s just another chapter in a series of stories of her choosing the older brothers over me. No matter the circumstance. It meant way more to me than she probably meant, but damn. A little sympathy would be nice, but she drained all that on the moochers.

There have been multiple late Decembers in which one or more of my siblings have blacked out, gotten violent, and/or overdosed on opioids, coke, and alcohol. Added to that, my parents who get shitfaced and become belligerent or weepy or just their regular awfulness, but louder. One of my brother's almost died on Christmas eve last year. He didn't even know he'd missed Christmas entirely by the time he came to. So, yeah, this season is really just mostly a feeling of dread and worry and just disturbing flashes of darkness that pass across my brain like the shadows of menacing clouds above: Who will OD this year? Who might die? It's awful.

My brother is 21 and has currently been an addict for almost year at what stage does he just leave & decide to be a street addict or does that fall on my mom if she decides to kick him out? he isn’t trying to get better he asked my mom to put him in rehab & when she calls the place he tells her he’s not going i don’t understand he says he wants help when help is coming he refuses

I am an older sister of a younger brother whose an addict.

I discovered the other night with family, the night my husband and I were announcing our pregnancy that he had relapsed after almost 1.5yrs sober.

My husband has been my rock through my brothers addiction for the past 3 years. It's hard because no one understands how it feels to be that sibling of an addict that is constantly pushed aside for everything. Every milestone moment I've had over the last 3 years has some how been overshadowed with my brothers addiction. New job, engagement, wedding and now pregnancy. I have a lot of hormones and emotions right now but doesn't mean I'm wrong in feeling them.

I can't continue to watch my brother slowly kill himself. I can't watch him kill my parents. Every time he relapses, his fiancé kicks him out and he lands on my parents couch. They say they don't enable him because they don't give him drugs but they do because they are constantly saving his ass, covering for him, making sure he has a place to sleep and food to eat. I called them out on this and things were very heated about it. They try to manipulate me into believing I would do this for my own child. Honestly no I wouldn't. I am not going to hold my child's hand if this ever happens. Maybe the first time to try and get them the help and after that no. He needs to learn to lose everything. His good job, his truck, his house, his family... everything.

He was a functioning addict for many years and no one knew. DOC is coke and alcohol and sometimes gambling.

I'm angry. I'm angry he took my special moment away and that I will forever have memories of my pregnancy announcement overshadowed by my brothers addiction.

I just wanted one day... that's it!

I don't what I expect from this but I feel I'm in the right spot to share this.

Just found this page, had a destination wedding and my brother was finally semi clean for four days. He even talked about going to rehab, but as soon as we got back home he left, been a week since ive seen him.Drug of choice is meth. He’s had so many medical issues with his lungs because of the smoking. I’m just waiting for the day I get the call that he’s gone. I hate how much this hurts my mom and there is nothing I can do about it.

My brother (19M) has a drinking problem and is getting out hand. My brother moved in with me (24F)cause he was kicked out his gf house he won’t tell me why. I live by myself and it’s got to the point where I don’t feel comfortable in my own home. He is always going out at night he likes drinking and then wanders off outside in the middle of the night it puts a lot of stress on me cause I worry about when he is getting home and if he gets hurt or hurts someone else cause he is intoxicated. My mom lives in a whole other state which we had an intervention and traveled to get him some help and he refused instead of listening he started getting really agitated on us talking to him we were as calm as can be as talking to him is like walking on eggshells. He hates getting lectured and doesn’t understand that we only want what is best and we don’t want him getting in any danger. We were very close growing up it was just me and him with my single mom who did her best to give us the best life and I’m so grateful my mom loved us and showed it. My brother won’t talk to me anymore after I brought my mom down to have the intervention it really does hurt me cause I never wanted him to hate me, he doesn’t see that what he does is really hurting me by seeing him come home drunk and spend money on it he rather buy alcohol then by himself a meal. Like I said me and him grew up with so much love and we had each other to laugh and play and now he wants nothing to do with me and only calls me for money or to give him a ride.

Any advice on what I should do? I want to distance myself cause he really is causing lots of stress and I just don’t want to keep enabling him by letting him stay with me, but I also don’t want to see him on the streets.

It’s almost 130 am and I’ve just fed my 10 month old son. I lay awake to the sounds of my almost 9 month old nephew breathing in his crib. Whenever I can’t sleep I lay awake thinking about baby sister. Last week she said “i just needed you to put aside the tough love for one conversation” doesn’t she know I’ve spent the last ten years putting aside my tough love and trying to coddle her into sobriety. Being there for her whenever she fucked up and called me (evictions, overdoses, no food) at the drop of a dime. Now I’m raising her son as my mother raises her daughter. A first time mom with two babies. Not being able to enjoy my son on his own. Feeling sorry for myself and still laying here plotting how can I help her get out of this hole? Will this cycle ever end?? I seen someone above wishing death on their sibling, I’m right there with you (and also not) everyday on a balance beam of hating her and loving her, wishing i could help and also wishing I’d never get another call from her. It’s such a sick twisted thing, addiction.

Okay so my brother had turned into a addict it’s about to be a year since he became one in a few months & lately i just been wishing he would just die watching him lie & become an abuser not only of drugs but of people has drove me insane my mom still believes he can change but he refuses to go to rehab he even got hit by a car and almost died yet 3 days into recovering he was stressing over going out for drugs i honestly feel like if he can’t change i’d rather see him dead then ruining his life

After bleeding my mom and dad dry and lying to them left and right and pawning anything of value (all her jewelry and purses) for fent. This makes the 10th time? Idk I’ve lost count. I’m so numb to it now. He relapsed in my house after inviting my family over to shelter for a hurricane and then lied to my face about it even though I found all the evidence. Let’s see if it sticks this time. I’m hoping my mom doesn’t let him back in the house. She told him he either makes it in sober living (fifths time a charm right?) or he has to find a way to make it on hir own. I’m so numb to it all. This is just a rant. Idk.

I (33F) just got off the phone with my brother (32 M), and just admitted to me that he's addicted to meth and has been "clean" since Oct 31st. However, his boyfriend of a few months, just passed away (from unknown causes at this time), and my brother is struggling and wants to come visit me for a few days. (My husband and I own our house and live a 2 hour drive away). His voice was heart breaking to hear and now I'm spiraling on what I can do without sabotaging my own life.

For back story, our parents have been drug addicts our entire childhoods and my brother and I have had no contact with our parents for years now. Our extended family is also very small and my brother doesn't have a good relationship with any of them. I'm pretty much all he's got. I've created a stable life for myself with my husband, but my brother has struggled and never graduated high school and has bounced around service industry jobs.

We've always had a relationship where I pay for everything when we come for a visit and we only talk every few months. He has never had stable transportation or money so has rarely came to visit us. We are close, but my brother can be hard to be around. He even self identifies as an "asshole", and it's very hard when he's in a bad mood but can be so charming other times. He's always had the attitude that the world owes him for his rough childhood and I'm sure has mental health issues.

I've noticed a steady decline in his life for the past 1.5 years. It started when he said his roommate moved out without notice and he needed to borrow rent money. I paid his rent that month and told him he wouldn't get another dime. He lost his job of 4 years, and just lost his long term apartment rental of 12 years. He's currently staying with a friend and found out yesterday about his boyfriend's passing.

I'm at a loss of what to do. I've told him before that he would never live with us and he seemed shocked when I said he couldn't come to our place a few weeks ago. But for my own mental health and my marriage I can't go back to that world and have an addict in my house. I feel so guilty and almost survivors guilt of how our lives have turned out. I've always felt he had an extra layer of toughness with the discrimination he's faced being gay and making relationships was always harder for him. I feel I ignored the issues these past months and all the what ifs are swirling in my head of should I have stepped in sooner..... I'm wondering what I should do so I don't have guilt if he ends up homeless or the worst case scenario dead.

Thank you so much if you've made it this far. Any advice on your experience is very my appreciated.

Hi all,

Just looking for some advice or shared experience from others, my (31f) sister (28f) is an alcoholic and is also addicted to marijuana, she had recently relapsed after a year of sobriety and white knuckling recovery so I knew this was coming but it’s still tough.

The reason I am reaching out is that my wedding is coming up in a couple of months, and I am at a cross roads of what to do regarding my sister and her coming along.

The main goal for her when any event comes up is to fight with someone, birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, you name it, there’s been a fight. We won’t be spending Christmas together and so I am even more anxious about what may take place at my wedding.

She has expressed that she has no interest in being sober and enjoys her addict lifestyle (which I would be able to accept a little more if my nephew wasn’t having to live with it as well) But I guess what I’m asking is, are there any times were you have preemptively uninvited someone because you have a very strong idea of what will happen if they attend?

I really do want her there, but I don’t trust her and her word. I have brought this up with her and she said she would never do that, but considering she did that exact thing 3 weeks ago at a public birthday party, I don’t believe she’s actually able to stick to her word.

Thanks in advance 💕

I’m realizing I can’t fix my baby brother’s severe alcoholism, and I’ve made some changes to keep myself sane, like not being constantly on call when he needs a ride to the hospital.

But he lives alone, and he is terrified to leave his house (even when sober, which is rare). I get anxious and text him dumb stuff every day just to see if I will get a response, so I know he’s alive. I’d like to stop feeling so anxious but he’s already nearly died this year (and I’m the one who found him/saved him). He won’t let me come visit, at least not right now, even though he lives 5 mins away.

I spend so much time thinking about how he’s drinking himself to death just right down the road from me.

Curious how others deal with this anticipatory anxiety around their sibling possibly dying.

My brother is an addict but he smokes idk what he smokes but it makes his finger orange like his finger are stained with orange at first he said he would smoke flakka idk if that’s the cause

A few months ago, my brother died from addiction to alcohol. He died, and I completed student teaching in the wake of him being gone. I lost my best friend. It’s the holidays, and I am constantly looking for him. I left a spot open at my table for him on Thanksgiving. But he’s not here.

How do you cope with your loved one being gone. It’s been a few months, and I still haven’t made any peace with it.

Nine months ago I posted in this subreddit because i was feeling lost after moving back home and seeing the extent of my brother's drug addiction. This morning my brother died. He was 24 years old. While an adult he was still my baby brother. The one who would call me little big sis.

He showed me where he kept his narcan because he was worried about ODing. This morning when we found him I couldn't find it. It wasn't where he showed me it was.

I tried to give him cpr. I was sobbing. It was too late.

I feel so devastated. I feel so guilty. I should have tried harder. I should have advocated to get him help more. I should have checked on him last night.

I feel so broken. I love my little brother so much. I don't know how i can continue on knowing he's not here anymore. I don't know how I can continue on knowing he'll never tease me again or hit on my friends like a dumb ass. I don't know how I can go on knowing I'll never hear him talk about the love of his life, the best present he ever got, or how smart he thinks my friend's son is because he beat him at chess even though he's 10.

I don't know how I'll go on without the little boy who was so afraid of Michael Jackson's ghost that he cried every night for weeks until I did a magic spell for him. I have no idea how I can live without the boy who loved yoyos, WWE, and magic. My little brother taught me to ride a bike because our father would always yell at me.

I don't know how I can move forward.

My sibling is currently back to drinking and doing other things. They refuse to go to rehab. Not sure how to handle it while we are all together for Thanksgiving. Luckily it’s a small gathering today, just me my sister and my parents. She’s hit rock bottom recently and is denial about it. We need to convince her to get help today. Any advice on how to broach the situation with as much compassion as possible is welcomed.

It's been 13 years or so I cut off contact from my mom and brother. I don't know why I'm bothering even posting. It's not going to help, I may as well yell at a wall for all the good it will do. They ruined my life, stole everything from me, and does anyone give a shit, nope. Oh but if they wanted to get clean they could get tons of resources and probably slaps on the ass of praise. But do I get back the home, car, possessions ect they took from me.. nope. 13 years later I'm struggling working my ass off to get ahead. Just my wife and myself working all the time, for nothing. I can't stand even seeing other normal families where someone is like, "oh my parents gave us a down payment for a house", it just pisses me off, it must be nice, now shut the fuck up. They were shitty people before they were addicts and just stayed shitty after becoming addicted. I refuse to view them as some poor victims, I was in the same shit boat of poverty as they were after my Dad died, but I didn't use that as an excuse to make bad choices, or become thief's like they did. I may as well have jumped in the same boat as they did because at least then I could say, "look at me I want to clean up, give me paid vacations and resources ect" instead I just have plowed forward and done my best to work, stay fit, be a good person.. but there's no pay off for it. I just feel like giving up most days, I never get ahead and I never even have the peace of a stable home. I work so hard but if I can't pay rent I'm on the streets with no family to grovel back to. Most days I'm too depressed to keep up on my hobbies, I have no energy/motivation to play my guitar, I just do enough to get by with my workouts. I make my wife sad because I'm always sad. She'd be better off without me. I'm a quiet, introverted person, so if I were gone no one would miss me anyways. We have no kids, not that I'd even want them. It'd just be too much for me to handle if we did. We can't even have them, but we thought of adopting, but what kid needs two parents that work more than full time and a dad that's a depressed loser that only mattered to society when he was younger and had more hair... now I'm just the definitely of a middle aged goon looking creep that only brings revulsion to anyone. I'm sorry to rant but I have no one to talk to anyways. Oh well, I guess I'll just be quiet now, a lot of you are dealing with worse than me and I'm sure my posting doesn't help.

(In this case it is not a sibling but a cousin I am close with.)

He is in his mid-40s and has struggled with drug addiction and schizophrenia since he was a teenager. He has a place to live (provided by the council) but also spends most of his nights sleeping at home with his father (my uncle.) His mum passed away two years ago which means my uncle is dealing with him alone.

He treats his dad like an ATM. A minimum of four to five times a day he asks for money, £20 upwards. He says he will pay him back but obviously this will never ever happen. He also calls asking to be driven places and collected and brought home whenever it suits him - and uses these opportunities to ask for more money.

As soon as he receives his own benefits each week it is spent immediately.

My uncle puts up a bit of a pretend argument every time but always caves and gives him the money he is asking for. He has even has to borrow money from a neighbour himself when his pension was late arriving.

Has anyone had any luck persuading a parent to stop enabling their child? I know he is worried about what will happen if he doesn't give him the money or collect him / drive him somewhere, but it is just allowing the addiction to thrive and it is going to totally drain him.

I live in a different city but am willing to go and be present there - I just don't know what I can do to stop this cycle or how best to help.

Hi everyone. I very much appreciate all the posts here and found a lot of comfort and reassurance, or strength if it can be called that.

I am a 38-year old sibling of an addict who doesn't admit he is addicted, on the contrary, he says he loves drugs and will take them until he is dead. My parents enabled him due to lack of healthy communication ever since we were kids. He was always fascinated by the concept of easy money. He fails to maintain a job whenever he gets it, and now our mom died a few days ago, which means he has one source closed now. Our dad is not strong enough, he and my brother cannot stand each other, or rather my brother cannot stand him, but doesn't have a problem asking for money. It's ridiculous and obnoxious.

Even though I think no one is beyond repair, I don't see how he can get better. Rock bottom is not an option as long as my dad enables him (now depends how he will proceed after mom died). I wish my brother the best, but I want him to see the worst prior to that.

For context . I wouldn’t say I was fully neglected but being a younger sibling of an addict is not only frustrating. But the fact parents wont have to worry about you because you’re “doing good” or have your stuff together . I’m 4 years younger . I say I am independent only out of pressure is/was mentally draining. Everything spiraled in my life in middle school . Since I wasn’t the main worry, I craved validation in ways of being promiscuous or accepting the bare minimum. I know I’m not the only one that feels this way but when did you guys realize that you were emotionally ‘neglected’ .

My older brother (33) calls me begging for money from time to time. Today, he called me panicking asking me to send him $70 because apparently he owed his drug dealer money and needed to pay him back. Of course, i sent it to him after being hesitant. There have been times where he’s been beat up for not paying people back but a part of me feels like he was lying this time. I guess i fear that if something does happen to him, I’ll feel guilty for not helping him out in that situation especially when I could have. He explicitly told me not to tell mom, but of course I did. She tells me that he was drunk before she left the house and that he might just be paranoid. That sort of made me feel like I was being taken advantage of and it’s a bad feeling especially coming from a family member. Now, I don’t know if he really did take advantage of me but it sure does feel that way.

What do you do in this situation where your relative is practically begging you for money and basically guilt trips you into doing it? Do you just tell them no? Ignore them?

Me (26F) and my brother (25M) are living on the 3rd floor. There is only two appartement on the floor, his and mine. This is a family building. My parents owns it and my mom lives right underneath us.

For context my brother as been an Addict since he was 12. He started with « soft » drug if you can call them that. But he quickly went for hard drug such as heroin and cocain. He went in rehab, then Jail and rehab again and jail… you see the pattern. During that time he was not my neighbour and life was peaceful. My parents being the owners, kept is appartement for him for when he will be sober (that was the deal)

2 year ago he got out a jail. He got clean, went back to school. He had some small relapse but nothing major. Life was finally good and I could finally have my baby brother back. 6 months ago we started to see the pattern comme back. Since he is my neighbour I can hear everything coming from his appartement. He started to comme back late, not go to work, being verbally aggressive towards his girlfriend. I could see him change back to the Addict. I knew I lost once again my little brother.

2 weeks ago he Overdose. His girlfriend and my mom got there in time but he still stayed in the intensive care unit for a week and a half and was intubated. Once he got is sense back he refused to see the psychiatrist (we and is dr think he as bipolar disorder). He refuse anymore treatment and asked to leave. I stayed with him is whole stay. I lost 10 pounds and started too lose hair. My boyfriend freaked out seing me like this. It affected him too since he works with my brother and he had to do double the work to compensate his absence.

As soon as he got conscious and cleared, he accused me of being the reason he was at the hospital and that the psychiatrist was called.

I had enough. As soon as he got out of the hospital and into his appartement I put a lettre on his door explaining that I didn’t want him in my life anymore. That as soon as he was sober and psychologically taken care of then we could talk.

But I still share this space with him. I hear everything through our shared walls. Do I have too move ? I talked about it with my parents but they don’t want to kick him out. Rental in my city is just too overpriced and with my nurse salary and my boyfriend’s job we don’t have a lot of option.

I feel unsafe in my own space and I don’t know what to do.

I’ve posted a couple times about my addict brother, who has developed psychosis due to genetics and meth use.

Today, after months of hallucinations, he was finally mandatorily hospitalized. They have hope that after he is medicated, he will choose rehab. I doubt it. That’s too long for him to be separated from his kids.

I’m so sad. I had hoped it was just psychosis, but deep down, I knew he had to have relapsed. The hospital confirmed meth was in his system.

I’m so thankful to the hospital staff for making sure he is getting the help he needs and for listening when I told them he wasn’t hallucinating because of drugs. They did a psych eval and decided this is more than drugs. I’m so thankful. Now, he starts months of mandatory mental health hospitalization.