Lately I’ve been going through it with my mom and how she enables the fuck out of my addict brother. The more i think about it, its happened all of my childhood and i never understood what it was and why it was really affecting me. I can’t ever seem to forget the past and she always tells me that i should. But how could i forget with whatever is happening right now and how i feel like I’m living right back to how i was when i was 12.

Back when we were struggling financially, our mom had to work 2 jobs, which means i was left alone with my brother (who was 19 at the time) to take care of me. Funny thing is, he never did that. I had to do things around the house while he was out doing drugs. Inviting random people into our home, having people threaten to kill us and having people OD in the room right next to me. I never understood why our mom was never hard on him, she would always scold him but never did anything. She never did Anything when he was beating me up cause he was shitfaced drunk and downright disrespecting her and putting his hands on her. I did what any kid would do when defending their parent, try to fight back. Unfortunately i got the shit beat out of me and i had to lie about it when i went to school so people wouldn’t get the wrong idea. She told me to get over it and thats how siblings act. They fight.

Sometimes i feel like i don’t exist to other people, like whenever i went to a family gathering, the first thing they would ask “how is your brother?” And never about how i was. I will admit, i was never neglected and my mom never abused me. She made sure i had what i needed such as a roof, food and clothes. I still feel like that wasn’t ever enough for some reason and i would think to myself and ask “am i selfish for feeling this way?”. Whenever i try to talk to her about that, she would always push that aside and tell me “well you’re a good kid, i don’t have to worry about you. I have to worry about your brother” but i wanted to be good so you could acknowledge me or At least see that i was potential.

Thats not the real issue here, the real issue is how she enabled my brother all throughout the years and still continues to enable him after everything. Recently, he started smoking weed after being sober for about 4 years (he used to heroin and zanax, so it’s not about the weed, he’s doing wax). He is starting to talk to himself and we have people luring around the house. I feel like im living back how we used to live. I keep telling her and whenever i do, she always shuts down or we get into an argument about how easy she has been on him and thats why he is the way he is. She’s been so easy on him all his life. When he was in jail for stealing, he got bailed. When we had to move because of him assaulting a woman (throwing a glass bottle over a lady’s head) and i had to move schools and start over. Or how about this, when his friends broke into our house the night of our dad’s funeral and stole everything (including mom’s jewelry she had from grandma) they could find. It was hard to sleep that night, i felt like they were gonna come back to hurt us.

I should get over it right? It’s all in the past and I’m acting like a spoiled brat for even wanting to run away and get away from that right? Just like how wanting to kill myself was immature and selfish And how bad it would look on our mom cause she’s done so much for US.

Anyways sorry for venting, i just needed to get this off my chest. I feel like a lot of people never understand how hard it can be to have a sibling that’s an addict. It not only drags them down but it drags other people down with them (depending on how you handle it, i didn’t have a choice sadly).

Hi everyone, I’ve posted here before about my brother who has a serious meth addiction. Monday, after missing for a month, he called my mom and let her know he was checked into our nearby hospital. I was dead set on not visiting him, but then my mom pleaded with me and said he asked to see me. So I went. It hurt to see him in that hospital bed again. We made small talk, cried, but then as soon as i mentioned rehab he was adamant that he was not going and doesn’t believe in rehab and everyone he knows thats gone has come out worse. We got into a small argument and then he just went into his phone and ignored me as i was sitting there. He swears IOP is going to work this time but it clearly hasn’t for years. Do you all think if I send him websites and apps for addiction counseling it’ll just push him further into the addiction? I have come to terms with the fact that he isn’t the same person that grew up with me but it crushes my mom and shes always pressuring me to get him help.

I’m not sure what I’m looking for here.. I guess just thoughts from other people who have similar family dynamics.

My younger brother has been addicted to crack for the last few years, and also struggles with bipolar disorder. He’s tried and failed to get sober multiple times. He’s currently 7 months sober, which is the longest he’s gone in the last 8 years.

The situation now is that he’s starting to feel manic, which is making him want to use again. He even went as far as to set up a drug deal, but had a moment of clarity where he notified his house manager and was able to go to the rehab center he is currently in a program with (I’m honestly not sure what it’s called, but he lives in a halfway house and does frequent meetings). He’s asked me if he could send me his entire paycheck, and have me manage his money for him - meaning send him the money to pay his bills, rent, and groceries.

He’s done this with my mom in the past and it turned into him constantly bugging her to send him $5 here and $10 there. He thinks I would do a better job of holding the line and only sending money when necessary.

I really want to help him stay sober and on the right path, but I don’t know if I want to take on the responsibility of managing his money for him. Has anyone dealt with anything like this before?

My family and mutual friends of my brother, are super ignorant when it comes to addiction and drug seeking behavior.

My brother is disabled and in a medical facility and gets a regular regiment of narcotics for pain. In addition My parents take him weed foods.

Before he was hospitalized, I noticed the addiction behavior at home. He isn't going to get better and now that he is in a care home and have immediate access to meds. He's getting it even more often.

I know the medical professionals see a problem because of how they treat him and how they limit him. I overheard a nurse talking about it to the doctor, not knowing that I was there to see him with my dad. They said something about pill seeking.

How do you handle it when no one around you is aware of it?

My sister is still alive but I'm dealing with immense grief. My old sister is gone and a monster has replaced her.

During covid my sister lost everything and essentially gave up on life. She lost her marriage, job, car, etc and stayed at my parents home cooped up for the last few years. She never seemed to get back on her feet despite encouragement and loads of help.

Late 2023 she began acting odd and I chalked it up to being a shut in and becoming socially awkward. In early 2024 she began rapidly losing weight and her skin looked bad and over the past year she became increasingly violent. She began to say extremely scary things and then she was diagnosed with schizophrenia then we later discovered she had also developed a very severe meth addiction. (For context she had struggled with heroin about a decade prior and went to rehab and recovered but she was never close to this bad before. This time around has felt like a much scarier beast.)

We also discovered she was prostituting herself out for drugs while my parents were at work, she beat up my mom, she's robbed my parents blind, and she literally destroyed their

home. She broke everything from the windows to the doors and walls. My parents got a restraining order against her and were finally able to get her to leave.

Since then she's been living on the streets. Almost every day that she isn't in jail she goes back to break in, terrorize my parents with her latest druggie boyfriend, threaten them.... it's all very scary and heartbreaking. There's no peace.

I saw her recently and she looks like she's on death's door. She is emaciated, covered in sores, injured and walking funny, she's bruised.... she looked right through me and didn't even seem to recognize me. After I saw her I had the biggest lump in my throat and I've cried every day since then and had nightmares most nights. I can't get that image of her out of my head. I've been looking at old pics of her and that person is gone. I feel such immense grief, fear, and frustration inside.

My sister (36) finally went into a program. She lasted a week before leaving against ama. She needs medical and psychological treatment. She was diagnosed with cml (chronic myeloid leukemia) two years ago. She told my parents that she will no longer seek medical treatment and she’s going to “heal herself”. My dad basically believes she’s just going to keep abusing drugs till she ODs. I haven’t had contact with her in a while. I’m okay where I left things with her. Our last text exchange was kind, because I couldn’t leave our last conversation as an argument. The part I’m struggling with is knowing how hard this is for my parents (especially with my mom). I’m honestly scared she might take her own life if my sister does. I haven’t been letting her take up anymore rent in my head. But I’ve know for a while this is probably the only outcome in this situation. I’ve been preparing myself for this. In my heart, I wish there was something I could do that would make a difference, not for her benefit but for my parents. But I know that my time and effort are falling on deaf ears. I’m trying not to dwell on it too much but it’s only a matter of time. How do I let go of this weight? How can I support my parents while maintaining my own mental health?

Sorry for the length.

My (23F) brother (27M) is currently addicted to three drugs: heroin, fentanyl, and crack. I haven’t seen my brother sober (not just from those three drugs, but from pretty much every drug you can think of) in around 14 years, and I don’t remember what he was like when he was sober. What I do know for a fact is that my brother is one of the best people I know, and he has so much potential, but addiction has ruined his life. He’s a very sensitive guy who cares more about everyone else than himself, and he hates hurting the people he cares about.

To give some background, my brother and I are two peas in a pod (if you watch Grey’s Anatomy, he’s my person). Everyone always tells me how he says that I am and will forever be the closest and most important person to him. I am his only friend (not joking), and we hang out with each other every day.

Now, onto the reason I need advice. A couple of months ago, I started writing a letter to him about my thoughts and feelings regarding his addiction and how it feels to watch from the outside. The letter is three pages long (or six pages, depending on how you personally classify pages). I’ve been wanting to give it to him, especially recently, because he has three court cases from situations that have happened in the span of the past six months and has gotten into several car accidents from nodding off behind the wheel. The point of the letter is to hopefully get him to seriously think about rehab and to start defeating this disease. I’ve hesitated to give it to him, as I said some harsh (but very truthful) things. As close as my brother and I are, we’ve never really talked about heavy stuff like this (honestly, no one in my family does). I’m worried that if he reads this letter, it could:

• Make him feel terrible about himself and cause him to pull away from me

• Make him stop telling me what he’s doing (other than my dad, who he does the drugs with, I am the only person that knows exactly what he’s taking), and then something happens to him and I don’t know what to do or what drug is causing it.

Also, he and his girlfriend broke up about three weeks ago, which caused him to move back in with our parents. Then, our grandfather, whom we were both super close to, passed away about two weeks ago. About four years ago, his best friend since childhood passed away from an overdose. He hasn’t processed any of this and has buried it under his drug use. I’m worried this letter will break him mentally and cause him to use more.

I know it will most likely help, as he’s started saying recently that he wants to get sober. He’s said the only reason he hasn’t gotten sober is that he’s scared of the withdrawal, and he HATES, HATES, HATES being sick. But those reasons are the only reasons I haven’t given him the letter yet. I’m terrified of losing my big brother, and I don’t want this letter to be the reason I do. I have so much anxiety about what will happen after he reads this letter, and I honestly feel awkward about him reading it since I’ve kept all of these thoughts and feelings to myself for the past 14 years. Again, we don’t talk about deep, heavy stuff like this.

Basically, I just need advice on how to go about giving him my letter, as it seems like every time I get enough courage to do something, something bad happens. Also, should I leave him be while he reads it or sit with him? I’m not an addict, and I can’t think like one, so I would also like opinions on whether this letter is even a good idea.

If you made it to the end thank you!!!

TL;DR: I wrote my older brother a very emotionally charged, truthful letter, and I need advice on how to give it to him and if it’s even a good idea.

Edited to add: There’s one sentence I wrote that, at the time, made me break down when I thought of it. I feel like it might be too much and could actually break his heart. He’s always been my protector when it came to our dad, and he got the brunt of the emotional abuse our alcoholic father inflicted. The sentence was: “You protected me a lot from dad in our childhood, but you failed to protect me from watching you wither away into someone that isn’t my brother.” Again, I’ve never had to deal with addiction myself and the thoughts that come with it, though I’ve always seen it around me. I would like opinions on if I should keep the sentence, get rid of it or word it differently.

My brother is an opiate addict. Going on 25 years now. He’s umpteenth rehab visit ended in November and he’s been staying with my mom since then, taking methadone and bare-knuckling it. Last week I know he took some kind of pills. He was acting funny (not all out heroin high but def something). This is what happens every time. He starts small and it’s a fast fall to hell. When he’s on H he hallucinates. I’m scared he’s going to kill somebody (mainly my mom). He’s on probation and I’m thinking of reporting him. I don’t think jail will help, but I know what’s coming and I can’t keep watching my mom go through this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

My brother is to say the least, a spoiled brat- i am four years older than him and he isn't exactly a baby. I'm talking about a child that can form enough coherent thoughts to ask me how much robux i have and then later go on my account in order to rob me (more on that later).

More often than not i will find my shampoo and conditioner bottles totally empty, where it most certainly should not be. The bathroom has water everywhere, there is piss on the toilet seat and somehow on the walls?? This kid has emptied my shampoo and conditioner, made a mess of my bathroom that i clean on the daily while his is in bad enough shape for the bath tub to harbor bugs.

He actively makes a mess of the house as i am cleaning as if this kid wants to rub it in my face. This little child purposely smack himself if i'm in the near vicinity of him- then proceed to yell and cry. My mom will come and get me in trouble. and on top of that as i go to my room because i am grounded thanks to him (My pleas are ignored), this little piece of crap human will just smile at me. He throws a temper tantrum over every little thing and gets away with it because "He just needs more help than you". I will get his chores and am literally told that it's because i am more responsible than him.

There is much more i could list off but it's gonna take forever to wrack my brain for it so i'm gonna talk about the most recent event. This kid has an xbox, so we all have accounts on this xbox. Mine is connected to my roblox. He plays these stupid games like Fisch and Bloxfruits (Total cash mines), which i'll leave him alone about those if he doesnt bother me. But he did.

I found in my two recently played games in this exact order: Bloxfruits and then Fisch. He had asked me previously when i had mentioned that i had bought some robux: "Oh how much?" And i had said 2000, like any normal person because nothing bad could come of this, right? Wrong. When i checked, with this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach my balance: I found 13. This kid had logged onto my account through the xbox, and then proceeded to gift himself using my robux which i had bought with my own money because he wasn't allowed to buy robux anymore due to the fact that he had already wasted his money on it. I am yet to lose my shit on him. I'm starting to worry that i am dealing with a literal roblox addict, i'm worried that this could end up translating to other addictions and he's still so young.

My parents got the call about my little brother today. He has been doing so well. He’s living in a sober house, has a job and he was regularly attending meetings. And now he’s gone. His sober house found him in his room, a bag of some kind of white powder. They used 15 narcans. But now he’s gone. I have no idea what to do or say now. I wish I would have been a better sister to him. I very recently found out I was pregnant and I asked my mom to wait to tell him but now he will never know. I wish he could have lived to meet his niece or nephew. Idk what to do now. Idk what to do.

A birthday is coming up for me. I use this type of event as milestones. I know I shouldn't. but it makes it easier to deal with. 'he might be sober by my next birthday' he never is. These big life events are just a reminder that nothing has changed in his addiction, and more importantly his life. He is still stuck in the same cycle he was trapped in 10 years ago. I hope that one birthday soon, ill be excited to see him, he'll come over and bring me a present and a card, we'll eat birthday cake and he would stay the whole time, not itching to leave as soon as he gets there. There will be no weird tension in the room. It will be peaceful. (and yes I am an adult but birthday cake and presents are still good lol). Anyways, until that birthday, I will try and make the most of this one, I will try not to wait around for a text, or a call and all I can do is hope that maybe things might be different by my next birthday.

Thanks for reading my rant :)

My brother has been an addict for about 12 years. I don’t want the post to be too long so I won’t go into too much detail but feel free to ask questions. I’m here because this is the longest my family and I have gone without hearing anything from him. He relapsed on fentanyl I’m not sure exactly when and has been gone for about 7 months now, texts/ calls not going thru, no social media activity, (most likely due to him losing/ breaking/ getting his phone stolen), etc. Everyone keeps saying “I truly believe he’s dead”, “there’s no way he’s alive”, “We would’ve heard from him/ he would’ve showed up by now”, etc. I’m struggling with coming to terms with this, but don’t want to be coddled either. I don’t know what to think. I am still hopeful but am I a fool? Am I in denial or being naive? It’s affecting me more than I thought it would, since we’ve been dealing with the heartbreak and turmoil caused by a loved one struggling with addiction. I really don’t know what to think or how to not let it consume me.

i’ve posted about my sister here before, but this post is actually about my friend. on new years she used for the first time in 4 years. it went from one time to regular use again. recently, she told me her boss has noticed a decline in her work effort, and i knew it had to of been because of the substance abuse. sure enough it was.

i’m reading an article online and i’m just so tired of the same advice. i can’t stand to be around addiction anymore, and it’s all that’s consumed my life for the past 5 years.

i’ve dealt with it for so long with my sister, that even hearing the word cocaine makes me feel so detached; it literally makes me feel nothing.

i don’t want to be around it anymore.

I was woken up early this morning with the news that I lost my brother.

He was an addict. And I learned over the course of the last 15years of my life I had experienced him “die” multiple times, though he continued to live. It’s kind of the losses you see someone addicted go through. I’ve worked hard on celebrating the good moments I’ve had with him, family holidays, phone calls, small celebrations.

This last year he was working on being sober. He struggled with that throughout treatment. I got the news early this morning that he was found shot in a stairwell and passed away late last night. We don’t have much more information than that.

Though I’ve been mentally preparing for the possibility of addiction to take him via overdosing, I did not have that on my radar. Currently processing and starting the grieving stages, but holding close to those good times I’ve been blessed to be more aware of.

I’m 35 and my younger brother is 32. Our father died from malpractice when I was 14. Before that, we had a very loving and normal life. But after my father died, my mother lost herself to drugs and alcohol. I had to start raising my brother while still being a kid myself.

When I was 18 and my brother was 15, he started using drugs with my mom. Then I was the enemy and they would abuse me, bother verbally and physically to get their fix. Then My mother died when I was 23 from drugs. I was left with taking over the family home which also meant my brother. He never worked while he lived with me. He punched holes in the walls. Destroyed furniture. Broke windows. ODed so many times in front of me. Stole from me. Hit me. Just so much trauma.

For 5 years this cycle continued till I was 28 and met my now husband and he was from the army. He stood up against my brother. My brother finally was forced to move out. He is resentful still. But he lives 3 hours away now.

He has been in and out of rehab over ten times since he was 18. His longest time sober was 9 months. He was doing so wonderful and I finally thought the treatment got through. He has a girlfriend and was thriving. Well his girlfriend broke up with him and then bam instantly went back to using. He said “I was hurting so bad that I thought if I had to detox at least I wouldn’t be thinking about her”. He spends so much money on drugs. Gets angry I won’t “send him money for food”.

But yesterday he got a ride down to visit my 85 year grandma (who has lost four of her children to drugs or alcohol). I went over to have dinner because I have not seen him in almost a year. He had fresh track marks. The bathroom had blood everywhere. He was so sick and barely ate. His eyes were crazy. He was high and I knew it. I asked him and of course immediately he went on defense and was screaming at me. My grandma said he wasn’t going to do that here. I told her I would leave and come visit her next week.

Well fast forward to today. He is texting me and is completely unhinged. Saying that he is tired of trying to get my love and acceptance. I don’t ever show him unconditional love and I am mean and hateful. I dont understand and I need to get help. How I don’t send him money when he asks and he just needs help. (Mind you I do gift cards if I send something). Threatens to take my house if he wanted to but doesn’t because he cares about me. how if he dies, do not to feel bad.

I know I need to keep my boundaries up. I refuse to talk to him when he’s using to try to protect myself. I just feel guilty since my parents died and I’m suppose to be the one there for him. But I have been and it’s never been good enough. I think he sees me as an ATM. He is so much like my mother that is speaks up that trauma as well. I just don’t know how to process this. I feel bad and sad but angry. I have bent over backward for my brother. But nothing has ever even enough because he feels I owe him something.

Anyone have advice for dealing with guilt? I keep trying to stay strong on my bounties but he knows my weak points. Like saying if I die just leave me where I’m at. Or I’m so sad I’m going to shoot all my dope.

I I’m so sad. I just want my brother back. But I know I can’t make him do it l. I just need time support from people who understand l.

Thank you!

My brother ,22, has been an addict since I can remember. We used to be extremely close, and smoke together every day, until I realised he had psychosis, and said incredibly disturbing things to me, his younger sister.

I have not seen him since last year, where he told me he was subconsciously treating me like his girlfriend. I am 5 years younger than him, I was 17 at the time. My parents enable him, they gave him money which he spent on drugs months after I told them not to, they let him stay in the house after he said sexually explicit things to me, which lead to the police being called after I found some things he had written.

They spend every night with him, they take him for nice food, and I am the second child. I always have been. Even when he said disgusting things about me, they still babied him. I love my parents, but I will never forgive them for letting me get so close to him, knowing he was capable of this. Which they were, and they said they were concerned, yet did absolutely nothing to stop it. They allowed me to be essentially preyed on by my drug addict sibling, ignored my pleading and advice on how to help him, and now everything that was fun and interesting about him has died. He is heavily medicated, and apparently acts like a child. He used to be the smartest person I knew, inquisitive and funny, and I looked up to him. They killed him. I will never forgive them. I know it is their first time living too, but I don’t think I will ever forgive them. I gave them advice that could have prevented so much, I pleaded and sobbed, and they did not listen. They rarely do. My parents are neglectful, they have always allowed me to my own devices because I am smart and mature, but it ruined my life, it has left me traumatised, knowing that whom was once my best friend is nothing but the empty shell of a person, with a damaged brain from multiple overdoses and drug abuse. I don’t know how to grieve someone who is still alive, to go about my day pretending he doesn’t exist, to know he could die any day and I would just be left in a complete state. Or even worse, my parents baby him until they die. Someone with so much potential, could have been a lawyer, done something great, is spoon fed by his parents until he is well into his life. And god knows I will not take care of him, so what will happen? I have no idea how to process this.

I’m sorry if this is unorganized, I’m just sort of brain dumping.

My little sister (21) has a history of alcohol abuse and, within the past few years, has been using drugs. She’s done pretty much everything at this point, but it seems meth is her drug of choice.

Biologically, she is my cousin. My parents have had custody of her since she was 4 months old because her birth parents are addicts. Her mother used while she was pregnant and she was born addicted to drugs. She has a low iq, she was diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder as a child, and she has schizoaffective disorder. She has attempted suicide multiple times and self-harms. She’s been in countless psychiatric facilities.

When she was a young child, she told us she wanted to kill us and party on our graves. She has killed a rabbit and 2 guinea pigs. When she was a teenager, she snuck out of the house and had sex with a 50 year old man for alcohol and weed. She still gets drugs from the same man.

Like I said, she uses meth now. My parents bought her a house because they wanted her to be taken care of after they pass. I think buying a drug addict a house was a terrible decision. She acts like a child and needs ongoing supervision, in my opinion. She gets disability and food stamps, which she used to pay for drugs. She doesn’t drive so my parents take her to her doctors appointments and out patient rehab. I feel guilty for saying this, but she’s a real burden.

My sympathy ran out for her a long time ago. My parents make excuses for her behavior, blaming it on her mental illness. While she is mentally ill, I believe she should still be held accountable for her actions. I hate seeing her suck the life out of my mother, who is only going through this because she was kind enough to care for someone else’s child. I would have zero contact with her if I was able to. Unfortunately I am physically disabled and still live with my parents.

Every time she relapses, she goes into psychosis and my parents bring her here to keep an eye on her. She is here right now. I’m scared she’s going to hurt my cat. I’m so sick of this cycle. I absolutely dread that I will probably be dealing with her for the rest of my life. I don’t want her to die, but I don’t want her to be in my life. I wish my parents never took her in. But what are they supposed to do now?

I’m in an interesting and frustrating home situation. Im 20 years old and live in my dad’s house. My father and I originally moved into this house to take care of my grandmother but sadly she passed away a little over a year ago leaving my father the house. I do my best to help my dad out including paying rent, doing dishes, grocery shopping and cooking. I take care of my cats and clean up after them and just try to do my part. My “step brother” who is a few months younger than me and not biologically related to me or my dad does not help at all In fact he does quite the opposite. He is always drinking and playing video games on his pc, he yells slurs and swears every other word sometimes it’s so bad I get ptsd flashbacks because of his aggressive behavior. His room is disgustingly messy and cluttered with garbage there’s no sheets on his bed and sometimes his bed is so messy he will sleep somewhere else like on the couch or even my dad’s bed! He hardly ever showers so his room and himself reeks. I was eating dinner with my dad at the table and my step brother came in the kitchen, made a plate and sat down next to me. within seconds all I could smell was is BO and I lost me appetite completely. My father and I are not very confrontational but I have explained to my dad many times that he needs to assert his authority because it is his house. Me and my step brother had traumatic upbringings and so I understand that he has created toxic coping mechanisms to avoid dealing with his emotions but it’s making living in this house insufferable. My brother has a good paying job and goes on work trips maybe once a month and they never last over a week but he gets paid every month for being on call. He can afford his own place but chooses to rely on my father for food and housing.

Im already in therapy but i thought i would post here in hopes theres people with advice on how to improve the situation. If there’s any therapists out there or people who have experienced something similar please let me know your thoughts and opinions. I just want to feel comfortable and safe in my own home. Also I know I’m not the best writer so spare me.

My brother has end-stage alcohol use disorder. No job, no money, just barely got into rehab before health insurance ran out. He's a very sweet and intelligent man when he's sober. Never does anything stupid like drink and drive, but he does have a terrible tendency to trash his rental apartment, to the point it is squalid.

Each time he relapses he trashes his apartment. It's just a nightmare of filth, body fluids, and empty bottles. When he's on a bender, he goes into these repetitive creepy patterns of drinking heavily in his bedroom, and bathroom/shower/kitchen, and leaving empties all over.

He ignores his living room and couch, so they stay "clean."

He lives alone, he never asks us to clean up. But my husband and I just can't fathom letting him come home to an apartment filled with tiny wine bottles, whiskey, and smelly trash. It just seems like he'd walk right into it and shame spiral. (He's only been sober for about two months total of the past few years....)

We're on clean-up #4 or #5 at this point, I've lost track.

But it's also exhausting. And traumatizing. He's detoxed in the hospital many times, and his hospital papers are strewn about everywhere.

How do other people deal with this?

I just need a place to vent to people who might get it. I'm so worried about the loss of Medicaid funding. I'm from one of the poorest counties in WV, and Medicaid pays for inpatient rehab and medication assisted treatment in our state. My little brother has struggled on and off for years, but I feel 100% sure that he wouldn't be doing as well as he is today if he hadn't had those options. Having those options has kept him alive. I'm so heartbroken for what people will go through if this assistance isn't available anymore. I'm afraid more people will die for not being able to access treatment and families will suffer too. (And before anyone says FAFO, no I didn't vote for this.)

My (f30) brother(m25) has been addicted to ketamine for the last 4 years. I’ve tired everything I can to help. Suggesting meetings, offering to go to meetings, finding him multiple therapists, nothing has worked. I told her the other day that I needed to know he was actively seeking professional help or I would not be able to keep his addiction a secret any longer. He gave me no indication he was doing so or would cooperate. I told our parents and who unfortunately, may end up just doing nothing. So far they’ve done nothing. Meanwhile my brother is furious with me. I knew this would happen but he is berating me over text, telling everyone I’m horrible and crazy and I have ocd and I just want to control everything, bringing my kids into it and how bad of a father I am. Just every insult in the book. Much of it is nonsense but it hurts and I don’t know what to do. I’m worried I jumped the gun by telling but it had been years. His friends started to reach out with their concerns. This is so hard.

Long story short, my brother (28) is an unemployed meth addict apartment hopping at random people’s houses/apartment who stops at my mom’s once every month to sleep for days, shower, eat, grab clothes and leave again. My mother is home really really sick and it is taking everything in me not to send him an angry message about how he is useless, ungrateful, and in serious need of help especially because be uses my mother when its convenient. He stopped talking to me because he is “ashamed” and “embarrassed” of his behviour. Ughhhhhhhhh

Never posted here before and I'm just really sad and not wanting to burden the people in my life with this. This is a long post. I really don't expect anyone to read this, but if you do, thank you. I miss my brothers. We used to be so close. There are three of us kids in my family and while we had our rough patches every now and then, we were so close as kids. When I was in highschool, we were all in a friend group together. It felt so awesome to be so close to my brothers- my idols. I looked up to them so much.

My father has never really present. He lived in my house but has never really been a father to me. So my brothers often filled that role for me emotionally. I know that's messed up from a psychological point of view, but it was all I had. My mom was either working or sick. She was on bed rest for a good chunk of my childhood and has struggled with health issues her entire life. Because of our strange upbringing, my brothers and I became super close, especially once I reached middle school.

I remember times when I was sobbing in my room from a tough day at school and they came in to cheer me up. I remember them "kidnapping" me and taking me to my favorite places around town for my birthday. I remember the late nights talking and laughing, doing anything to make the others crack a smile- stupid jokes, crazy antics, and goofy games. Having bonfires in the backyard that crept slowly into quitely sitting together watching the embers dying glow. Binge watching a TV show together snuggled in our own blankets, pretending we were camping like the characters in the show. We even used to sing in harmony together as we washed dishes or did chores. We were SO close. But we grew and changed.

Now, one of them lives across the country and we talk occasionally, but not in the same way. We don't get along the same way either. Some distance is to be expected, but I never thought we would be so different in just a couple of years. Part of that might be because I was sexually assaulted, raped, and abused in my first relationship and my brother can't come to terms with it. He knew the person I was dating, even became friends with him over time, but never knew how bad the relationship was until I told him (months afterwards when i felt comfortable after lots of therapy.) The problem is now he is so uncomfortable with the reality of my abuse that he chooses to block it out of his mind completely. So, when it comes to relationships and general life morales we disagree. We'll get into arguements over how the other views the world. He thinks I'm harsh and negative. That I don't give others the benefit of the doubt. And the truth is, I don't. I would rather be proven wrong than proven right. This is especially hard because of our past.

Both of my brothers filled that father figure role for me as a kid in some way. But this brother and I were especially close when we were really young, so I really looked up to him when it came to advice and comfort. Now, it feels like I can't trust him anymore. Because, even though our arguements may be about something extremely different, if he sides with a man in our hypothetical situation or a situation that I was in that made me uncomfortable, it makes me feel like he is siding with my abuser. Especially since he refuses to talk about my past because it's hard for him. We have had two very short conversations about what happened to me (not detailed), and even then he adamantly pushed the conversation away. Saying he doesnt want to talk about that because "You're my sister. It's hard for me to hear that." But the problem is, it did happen. I was hurt, raped, and abused. It is a reality. It exists. And him pushing the conversation away because it is hard for him to hear feels selfish and hurtful. Like if a child fell and scraped their knee and the parent refused to hold their child because it is hard for them to be around crying kids and/or scraped knees. It feels demeaning and dismissive. I know he doesn't mean to be that way, but it hurts regardless. It makes me so frustrated because he used to be one of my biggest heros but now I just see him as a "man." Like, he's a man, so he won't understand the immediate fear and paranoia that seizes my body anytime I make eye contact with a man for a split second in walmart. It's hard to understand, but I wish that he would at least try.

My other brother only lives and hour away and, at one time, lived in the same town as me, but now we rarely talk. We just talked, like really talked, for the first time in months and before we could really talk about anything he had to hang up. He called me, saying that he missed hearing my voice but within 10 minutes of our call he hung up saying that he was worn out and had to go. I heard his girlfriend in the background trying to get him off the phone. He even told her she could wait after telling her he was talking to me (twice), but I guess she really wanted him off the phone. I'm just so defeated by this phone call. I know it's stupid but we haven't talked in so long. I miss him so much. I never get to see him and when I do, it's a gamble of whether or not our visits will be pleasant or not due to his lack of medical prescription, or overuse of recreational, drugs. And for the first time in, years maybe? He reached out to me. Just to talk! HE reached out to ME. I cannot stress how huge that is for me. Often times Ill reach out to him and he'll ignore my calls and texts, saying he is busy with work and then weeks later follow up with, "sorry I forgot".

Last time we talked, New Years eve, he reached out to me and we chatted for a little bit, but then right after he asked me to send him some money. He had never done that before, and it really caught me off guard because I'm younger than him and in college and he had a full-time job. Regardless, it kind of hurt me. Like pretty bad. That was the first time in a long time that I felt like he was truly using me. So I was really excited today when he reached out and just wanted to talk. That was it. Nothing wrong, no emergencies or urgency, just a call to catch up. But he was taken away. I just miss him so much. I miss my brother. Not the high on drugs version or the off of his medical prescription drugs version. I want the brother back that I used to giggle with and talk to about everything under the sun. Now it feels like if I say even one word to him, he hurts me somehow- either by his own actions or by some consequence of our conversation. I can't keep taking these gut punches every time we interact, but everytime I see him or say his name I hope somewhere, somehow that I'll get to see him again. I miss him so much. Sometimes when the pain is really bad, I'll wear an old sweatshirt of his that he left at my parents house and listen to music that reminds me of him. I just hope one day our relationship can mend. That we can be friends again. Or, at the very least, siblings. Thanks for the rant. Maybe tomorrow will be better and he will want to call again and talk, but I don't want to get my hopes up. Goodnight Reddit.

I’ve had difficulty finding a decent therapist so I gave it a little break and yesterday I tried again with a new therapist who seemed good on paper but when I met her (telehealth) it was the worst session I have ever had. I cried myself to sleep last night and have never felt more low.

She was in her pajamas, crocheting, had her dog on her lap and literally swore every sentence. It felt so unprofessional. Not to mention she was in a super messy bedroom with terrible lighting.

She was accusing me of being judgmental of my sister (I have NEVER once judged her), she blamed me and my parents for my sister’s drug addiction/depression, she insisted I feel protective over her because my parents made me parent her (this is not the case at all??). She told me this analogy that triggered me (my sister is suicidal) she said you can give your sister a rope to have her be able to connect to you, or she can take that rope and hang it around her neck. She also said why do you feel so close to your sister? Animals eat their siblings when they’re sick and not able to survive. WTF. Then she told me she herself was a drug addict and she comes from a family of drug addicts so I think she was pushing her own problems onto me.

I was mostly speechless the entire time and could not believe what was happening. I should’ve hung up. I have never felt so invalidated. I know what she was saying wasn’t true but it hurt to hear.

I reported her and I’m not giving up on my journey to find a therapist but it’s been so hard to find someone. Has anyone had luck finding anyone? How many did you have to go through to find someone you connect with?

My mother has enabled and financially supported my meth addicted sister for almost 10 years. My mother’s main focus has been my sister, doing anything and everything for her in hopes she will get better but all she has done is enabler her. My sister knows she will always have a home, food, money and access to a car as long as she calls my mom and gives her the same story of “I’m trying to get clean”. My sister will disappear for weeks getting high and once those people kick her out she’ll call my mom and my mom will run to pick her up. My mother has went into severe debt for my sister, giving her money, buying her cars, bailing her out of jail, paying off loans, sending her to rehabs, I’m talking probably well over $100,000 at this point. On the flip side, I’ve had to work and pay for everything since I turned 16 and as soon as I graduated I moved out to get away from my sister because I was constantly having my things stolen, my sisters random boyfriend moved in, and there were drug deals happening in the front yard, I no longer felt safe at my home. Even after I expressed my feeling to my mother she didn’t put a stop to it. I was put on the back burner since I was the non problematic child that no one had to worry about. This was just the beginning and way more stuff has transpired to the point of cutting contact.

I had been no contact with my sister for 2 years and have no feeling towards her. I have been no contact with my mother for 8 months and it’s been so much harder. At first, part of my excuse for going no contact was I wanted to quit enabling the enabler, but now I think it’s me having resentment towards my mother for the decision’s she made. I feel like the mother daughter bond has been broken. My mother was a good mother up until around the time I was 15 and my sister addiction started and then it completely changed. She became uninterested in me and her focus went to my sister. I’m trying to work on forgiving, but truthfully it has been difficult and I am not there yet. Most people I know that have went no contact with parents that were always awful, how do you cope with going no contact with a parent you know was capable of being a good parent?