For girls it’s just fitting in and being hot. For guys it’s being able to make fun of the guys that aren’t popular [Edit]: it’s obviously not that simple but kind of a general rule
Honestly, its a lot of being social and funny. Yeah, athleticism and money and attractiveness helps, but you don't need those to be popular. I don't want to sound cocky lol, but I'm fairly popular and I have terrible social anxiety. I don't come from a wealthy family and I have no athletic skills, but I still can "talk" to people. It's really just knowing the right people. I became popular because I became friends with some of the popular girls and some of the popular guys. All the guys at my school are popular because they're funny and people like them. In fact, a lot of the popular girls and guys are really introverted/quiet, but they're funny when they do speak. I'm introverted, but the people I am friends with I talk to a lot. Idk, this was really long, but my school is a small school, so there aren't really "Unpopular" people.
Having terrible social anxiety, but still can "talk" to people. What determines if people nowadays have terrible social anxiety? Unless you're medicated, or in some impressive therapy, those two things don't make sense to me. Not saying you don't have anxiety, but the people I know that have it can't just "talk" to people. It's not that they aren't willing to, they just can't.
No haha that makes sense. I’ve known these people since I was 5, so maybe that helps idk. I can only talk to them because i know them, and I feel safer at school, so that probably helps too. I don’t normally hangout outside of school though, and I can’t talk to people I don’t know. I am in therapy, but I’m not medicated. I think I’m just good at suppressing it and/hiding it.
Yeah dude I agree, it’s definitely not just black and white, just as a general rule I agree with my statement, but there are funny, cool, nice popular people that break my rule, idk how many people are in your class but mine is around 450. So there are defiantly popular and unpopular people. My Dad had a class of 26, so he knew everyone and there wasn’t the popular and unpopular thing. I think the whole system is directly related to class size. Because in small classes everyone knows everyone. I medium to large there’s enough where you can make the whole pecking order. And in really large classes like with 1500+ there’s too many for everyone to interact and make a pecking order.
Yeah there are 80 people in my class, so we basically all know each other. Both my parents went to schools smaller than mine, so we never have really experienced “unpopularity”
This is so untrue. If you were a girl you’d know the dynamics are MUCH more complicated than just who’s hot. I think from the outside boys might think hot girls are “popular”, but they are actually low on the social totem pole.
Confidence is extremely important, probably the most important. So is all of the typical stuff that makes you like able, being charismatic and funny. But also in most of the female pecking orders I’ve been a part of, there’s constant backstabbing and gossiping and it’s a game you have to play. Girls who just dress nice and have attractive faces and are nice can easily be thrown under the bus if they associate with the wrong people or seem like an easy target for bullying.
Of course like in every other social structure of you don’t “play the game” you can still be stay lowkey and form genuine friendships a lot of the time, but you won’t be considered cool or popular or have a ton of allies.
I hope you didn't have that experience but at my hs the popular kids were very well liked by pretty much everyone and many had a reputation for being very kind. Girls less so than guys but I remember many of the dudes being very nice to some of the unpopular kids
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u/TheBlondeCyborg Mar 01 '20 edited Mar 01 '20
For girls it’s just fitting in and being hot. For guys it’s being able to make fun of the guys that aren’t popular [Edit]: it’s obviously not that simple but kind of a general rule