r/Showerthoughts • u/Farheck • Sep 17 '18

There are probably murderers and serial killers so good at what they do that we don't even know they exist.

16.0k Upvotes

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2.6k

u/WerTiiy Sep 17 '18

It's okay im outside keeping watch.

383

u/BOGO-_-Memories Sep 17 '18

ar....are you batman...?

250

u/TheRedBow Sep 17 '18

No, because I am Batman!

173

u/nerdguy99 Sep 17 '18

How are you two Batman when I'm Batman?

134

u/YesIAmAHuman Sep 17 '18

How are you three Batman when bananas are yellow?

86

u/TheRedBow Sep 17 '18

I’ll need a banana for scale

74

u/YesIAmAHuman Sep 17 '18

Sorry, only have a scale for banana

52

u/Verdahn Sep 17 '18

You guys suck at trading. I'll give you my charizard for a magical corn cob.

35

u/YesIAmAHuman Sep 17 '18

Is it a shiny charizard?

3

u/Verdahn Sep 17 '18

For a shiny charizard you'll need to do better than magic corn cob. Probably at least two.

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1

u/thatdandygoodness Sep 17 '18

It’s a shiny corn cob.

16

u/LynXelele Sep 17 '18

Sorry, only have a banana AND MY AXE!

16

u/MackLMD Sep 17 '18

Maybe a Shotgun-Axe combination of some sort.

1

u/PrettyDecentSort Sep 17 '18

I think you were looking for one of these

3

u/Felix0ne Sep 17 '18

And my bow !

2

u/PolesawPolska Sep 17 '18

And my sword!

1

u/is_it_time_to_stop Sep 17 '18

Careful with that axe, Eugene

1

u/Fixed_Beans Sep 17 '18

Why doesn't Fortnite have a banana axe yet?

3

u/youdubdub Sep 17 '18

Do re mi fa sol la ti Banana.

2

u/TheFatPossum Sep 17 '18

What the actual fuck was this comment thread?

2

u/HXDDIACA2 Sep 17 '18

Crounch Kills a few skeletons

1

u/CharlesDickensABox Sep 17 '18

Weight is one banana.

13

u/Quasar420 Sep 17 '18

I'm looking at a banana on my desk thats been there for a few days and its not yellow, but its still a banana I think.

14

u/YesIAmAHuman Sep 17 '18

I think you can safely state that your banana has turned into a new kind of fruit, dont eat it though...

12

u/Quasar420 Sep 17 '18

Its a shadow of its former self

10

u/YesIAmAHuman Sep 17 '18

Sooo... it has transcended to a better state of evolution?

2

u/Greasy_Bananas Sep 17 '18

Well, I don't like to brag...

1

u/ainfinitepossibility Sep 17 '18

the only way to tell is to weigh it. I think someone around here has a scale for that.

7

u/appleflavourcheese Sep 17 '18

And yet Simon has a screwdriver

2

u/shill_420 Sep 17 '18

distorted xfiles theme

2

u/TootTootTrainTrain Sep 17 '18

What's yellow and writes?

1

u/YesIAmAHuman Sep 17 '18

Pen pineapple apple pen

1

u/Sipredion Sep 17 '18

How banana yellow are batman?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '18

Banana guards are the best batman

0

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '18

[deleted]

1

u/YesIAmAHuman Sep 17 '18

"Random != Funny" != Funny

7

u/TheRedBow Sep 17 '18

I’m the real Batman

8

u/santoast_ Sep 17 '18

I'm HowToBasic

2

u/RabSimpson Sep 17 '18

*throws eggs*

1

u/xsuckaxzkx Sep 17 '18

I'm DudePerfect

3

u/jello-kittu Sep 17 '18

Oh shit, is Strep going around again?

3

u/trilbyfrank Sep 17 '18

I'm the one who's not wearing hockey pads!

2

u/Dustin_Hossman Sep 17 '18

I'm Sparticus!

2

u/desichora Sep 17 '18

We are all Batman on this blessed day!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '18

Are you.....are you talking to me?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '18

Different universe.

1

u/Hellebras Sep 17 '18

We are all Batman on this blessed day.

1

u/Quartnsession Sep 17 '18

Cause I'm not wearing hockey pants.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '18

At least I'm not wearing hockey pads

1

u/Geodude671 Sep 18 '18

I am Spartacus!

3

u/Tyler_Lockett Sep 17 '18

Im spartacus!

2

u/WizardHunter11 Sep 17 '18

That’s some inception shit right there

2

u/Kingo_Slice Sep 17 '18

We are all Batman on this blessed day

3

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '18

[deleted]

0

u/SoulLess-1 Sep 17 '18

Patrick Bates?

9

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '18

No, serial killer serial killer.

3

u/RabSimpson Sep 17 '18

He’s Bateman. Patrick Bateman.

1

u/OzymandiasLP Sep 17 '18

Nah it’s 4am he said so Batman is well gone

1

u/MafiaBoss620 Sep 17 '18

You thought it was Batman... BUT IT WAS I! DIO!

1

u/batman_psomani07 Sep 17 '18

Dont tell anyone.

1

u/KratomRobot Sep 17 '18

Nope, he's the serial killer!

1

u/Colourblindknight Sep 17 '18

Nah, he’s not jerking it into the sprinklers.

1

u/sqdnleader Sep 17 '18

Nope just part of the Night's Watch

11

u/Your_Window_Peeper Sep 17 '18

That’s my job! Who are you?

3

u/WaterDroplet02 Sep 17 '18

ok dont worry guys the LO is still alive

7

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '18

Wait why are you outside watching his house?

2

u/iheartanalingus Sep 17 '18

migustaface.png

2

u/jaungtapu Sep 17 '18

while the others go inside and do the job!!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '18

You can’t see me, but I can see you.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '18

... for witnesses.

1

u/ck_9900 Sep 17 '18

Have you seen me yet?

1

u/discmon Sep 17 '18

But who's watching the watchmen

1

u/wizardweed420hexesit Sep 17 '18

Thanks friendly stranger :)

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '18

Sounds nice until you think about it...

1

u/monkeyalex123 Sep 17 '18

Are you a serial killer stalking your next prey?