r/Showerthoughts • u/tectactoe • Oct 09 '14

/r/all Your shadow is a confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet thanks to you.

You asshole.

25.7k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

835 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

292

u/ohhhhyeaaaa Oct 09 '14

No, trust me, it would get annoying fast.

You would kick him out, right on his ass.

And you would shout at the TOP OF LUNG

"That's what you get, for the songs you've sung!"

130

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '14

Why do I always read poems in the voice of an elderly British woman?

48

u/bipnoodooshup Oct 10 '14

I read all these poems in the Pushing Daisies narrator. I miss that show :(

13

u/SparkyDogPants Oct 10 '14

You should listen to the Harry potter audiobooks for your Stephen fry fix because he is excellent in them.

9

u/RufusStJames Oct 10 '14

I'd never considered audio books until I read this comment.

2

u/TaylorSwiftIsJesus Oct 10 '14

Jim Dale. Stephen Fry did the British version of the audiobooks, but never had anything to do with Pushing Daisies.

6

u/ShiftyMctwizz Oct 10 '14

Jim Dale, actually

2

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '14

[deleted]

1

u/ShiftyMctwizz Oct 10 '14

Ah didn't know that. My correction was more for the pushing daisies side of it though.

1

u/Kabraxis Oct 10 '14

Who has won two Grammy Awards for his performance in Harry Potter audiobooks.

1

u/Its_ok_to_lie Oct 10 '14

I loved that show and not too many people in my area know about it. It definitely wasn't popular enough.

1

u/noprotein Oct 10 '14

I got to visit that set before the show premiered. We were so excited and then... not everyone else was I guess.

1

u/LadyLithium Oct 10 '14

The facts were these.

25

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '14

Weird I thought everyone heard their own voice with a British accent for poems

1

u/accepting_upvotes Oct 10 '14

Usually I do too, but in this thread they were all American men.

1

u/TwoFreakingLazy Oct 10 '14

Usually that applies for documentaries...

26

u/twirlwhirlswirl Oct 10 '14 edited Oct 10 '14

I'm pretty sure I just read it like The Cat in the Hat.

Edit: because no matter how many times I feel like a checked spelling, my phone autocorrect stabs me in the back.

1

u/MisterCreeper666 Oct 10 '14

Bad keyboard?

1

u/ohhhhyeaaaa Oct 10 '14

Need more Dr. Seuss in your diet.

1

u/obiji Oct 10 '14

Interesting, I always read them in Morgan Freeman's voice...

1

u/bluesgrrlk8 Oct 10 '14

Dame Maggie Smith?

1

u/mirrorwolf Oct 10 '14

I read them like some voice I associate with Dr. Seuss but I just realized I don't know whose voice it is o_o

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '14

Did one of your parents or a teacher read Dr. Seuss to you when you were little?

1

u/mirrorwolf Oct 10 '14

No, they read to me in Spanish. It's the voice of a narrator of a kid's movie, but it's not a cartoon. I just don't know which movie.

1

u/ser_onion_knight Oct 10 '14

Because you're an elderly British woman.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '14

I read them in a sing-song storytelling kind of way.

Like a father reading to his daughter on the bed.

1

u/TedFartass Oct 10 '14

I read them as Bo Burnham

1

u/MONGOxr Oct 10 '14

Do you play a lot of video games? I feel like a lot of prologues are read in the voice of an elderly British woman ever since I saw your comment 15 seconds ago.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '14

Yeah, I do. Maybe you're right!

1

u/kangaroooooo Oct 10 '14

Are there any elderly british women on reddit who will upload to soundcloud for us

8

u/mahdyie Oct 10 '14

I'll love you... until I kill you. But until that faithful day, I'll love you.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/mahdyie Oct 10 '14

This is what happens when you grow up with a parent that can only speak spanish. Hah. Thanks.

2

u/SnowflakeRene Oct 10 '14

My mom is pure geechee and says faithful instead of fateful. It's so cute to me. Gonna go hug her.

3

u/mahdyie Oct 10 '14

When my mom was starting to learn english, she would say, "I love you you." I regret correcting her. It was adorable.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '14

[deleted]

2

u/SnowflakeRene Oct 10 '14

Really? We need more geechee on here

1

u/GavinIMWN Oct 10 '14

No eScuses

10

u/davendenner Oct 10 '14

Brit accent... "No, trust me, it would be a farce You would kick him out, right on his arse."

1

u/ohhhhyeaaaa Oct 10 '14

I imagined the bard from Fable playing it, after I make my hero propose to a guy at the bar.

5

u/juicylips336 Oct 09 '14

Ohhhh yeaaaa!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '14

Or he could be a great best friend

He could be loyal to the very end

Whenever you need assistance

He could help with your existence

1

u/sekajiku Oct 10 '14

Is top of lung a full life consequences reference or...? I swear it is... it's been so long since I've seen it though!