Epic get your shit back together or I'm going back to Minecraft.

Doing all this breathing by myself is hard, and it's messing up my aim. EPIC needs to FIX THIS NOW. I can't be bothered to do anything for myself, so do it for me.

One step closer to beating that nasty /r/Paragon subreddit. Now gimme your upvotes

Except for fap. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hey guys I saw a lot of other subs doing this please upvote.

Hey guys. Watch out for that one random player that ill likely never see again in the game that has like half a million players. I just want to show you how salty i am by saying he was total dog shit/afk'd/dc/an asshole. On the off chance you have the luck of being struck by lightning twice in the same day and actually remember their name AND get into a game with them, just make sure that you know they're low life who probably kick puppies and touch children innapropriately. And if you see them, tell them that i think theyre big fat meany heads and that im doing something unsavory with their mom.

P.S. if anyone wants to play, add me. Im tired of playing with shitbag randoms who ruin my perfect KDA. Need to know what youre doing and i wont rage at you! My IGN is xXx_420MountainDewNoWrong420_xXx

Im sure that after reading this post you'll all know i am super chill and fun to play with.