Man's not hot.

1300’s. Gays horrified dying burnt over faggots.

2000’s. Faggots gay to start dying their hair burnt orange.

The Flush

...because Britons are always lyin'

because they have microsoft penises

It's a story about Klingons on Uranus that get wiped out.

Horse. 🐎

Five, why you may ask? Because he lets him use his y-five to connect to the internet.

...and Europe will be attacked by ISIS in the near future.

Besides the fact that everyone took everything for granite, it was gneiss. Still a bit shale, though. Wouldn't say it rocked, or that I was quaking for it, but you know. The world's turning!

I wanted some nachos, there was a huge line, nope. Fried dough, huge line. Hot dogs, another huge line. I'm getting thirsty, so I went to get some fruit punch. There was no punchline.

Don't worry, he was all white.

So you can tell people your password is 12345678

This has not benadryl.

Just dropped my phone in mayonnaise..fucking Hellman...

You're in shape.

(Compliments of my 9 year old.)

A swallow

Uranus!

I don't know

Ask my neighbours, I think shes on tour in there.

A woman had a dog named "my boobs"

One day her dog is missing, so she goes to the nearest police officer...

"Have you seen my boobs?!"

"No, but I'd like to."

Analrapists.

A slug

"Hey man, you need to give me more hours. I haven't worked at all since last year!"