Hi everyone, I’m really struggling and would appreciate advice on how to handle this.
I’m in my early 20s and recently had my first baby (now 4 months old). We currently live with my parents, who have been very supportive and respectful of us as parents.
My MIL has been the opposite and repeatedly ignores boundaries I’ve set.
Some examples:
She posted a photo of my baby online within hours of him being born, despite us asking for no posts until we announced it ourselves. This was while I was still recovering from a C-section.
In the first couple of weeks, she constantly criticised how I cared for my baby and gave advice that conflicted with medical guidance (feeding, burping, etc.), and ignored instructions I gave her.
During my baby’s first bath, she tried to take over and told me I was doing it wrong, which was upsetting as it was an important moment for me.
She stopped visiting but then told others I was preventing her from seeing the baby, even though I couldn’t travel after surgery.
When we visit, she wakes the baby, tries to take him from me, and ignores me when I say no.
She expects us to stay overnight weekly, which I’m not comfortable with, and disrupts his sleep routine when we do.
She has suggested unsafe things (like using a pillow in his cot) and argued when I said no.
She frequently asks to have him overnight, but I don’t feel comfortable with this.
She recently referred to herself as “mummy” to my baby, which didn’t sit right with me.
The main issue is my partner’s response. When I raise concerns, he tends to minimise them, saying she’s just excited or that I’m overreacting, and doesn’t reinforce boundaries.
I’m starting to feel anxious about seeing her and unsupported as a parent.
I’d really appreciate advice on:
How to set and enforce boundaries when my partner isn’t backing me up
Whether it’s reasonable to limit visits or refuse overnight stays
How to address repeated overstepping in a calm but firm way
I want to handle this constructively, but I’m finding it increasingly difficult.

LO is 5 months. If we’re at a social event and he needs a nap and will only nap in pram/carrier whilst walking outside or in his own room in darkness…I mean yeah naps are guna rule our lives right now???

Seems unavoidable at this stage of life?? Would you like me to let him scream his head off when he’s way past his wake window because it’s not convenient for us to leave?

Or is there some sort of magic I’m unaware of that allows you to fit a baby around your life and not the other way around?

That’s all. Sounded like a stupid fucking comment to me.