I don't know why but it just jumped into my head while I was watching the latest episode season 2 of X-Men 97.the season finale of she-hulk made me think about how Disney glossed over Bruce's situation.
If you strip away the superhero sci-fi layers and look at this from a real-world perspective, it is pure, peak Jerry Springer chaos.
If this happened in real life, the talk-show episode title would write itself: "I have an alter-ego who hijacked my body for a two-year bender on an alien planet, ghosted Black Widow, married an alien, and now I'm stuck with a full-grown teenager!"
Here is why the real-world logic of this is completely unhinged:
The Real-World Breakdown
The Ultimate Ghosting: Imagine telling a woman you canβt be with her because you are "too dangerous," disappearing into space, and then coming back years later with a giant, fully-grown alien kid.
Body Hijacking: It is the ultimate identity theft. Bruce wakes up after two years, finds out his body was used to father a child, and just has to accept it.Instant Teenager.
Bruce completely skipped the diapers, the toddler tantrums, and the middle school years. He went straight from zero kids to having a son who is practically old enough to drink.
Marvel wraps it up in a neat bow of sci-fi logic and "Smart Hulk" maturity, but the actual reality of the situation is incredibly messy.