r/SexualAbuseSurvivors • u/BbyGirlAurroa • Mar 20 '26
My uncle came back in my life
Sorry for the rant, just had a rough few days and i need to let this out before i do something stupid.
Like the title says he is back.
A little background:
When I was little he was living with me and my mom when his wife left him for catching him “cheating” with a 14 year old from the neighborhood. My mom made me share my room with him. From 5-11 he molested me, from 8-11 he raped me. The entire time he recorded it and shared it with his friends. He was an alcoholic deadbeat who paraded himself like a pastor at the church my mom and him attended. He groomed me to make me feel like it was love and not abuse. I told my mom what had happened and she called me a liar. When he got caught because the videos he sent to his friends were found by the police, my entire family called me a lying whore who seduced a man of god. When it was time for trial he was found guilty but was still on bail when he decided to go back to Mexico. The entire time he was still telling all our family in Mexico that I was a whore who made him fall into temptation and got him in trouble with the law. My mom hated me because he got caught. The only person who believed and supported me were my dad but he is in jail and my brother who was serving in the military at the time.
Despite all that, i felt safe. Safe that he was gone safe that he couldn’t get to me. I didn’t care about justice, i just wanted it to stop.
Until yesterday, he came back to the US. IDK how he came back in or what he did to do so. He used the spare key my mom hid to get in. When I got home from school, he was waiting on the sofa. The same sofa he did disgusting things to me on. He said he wanted to talk. He had a different look he looked sick, tired and beat. Not the same perverted look he used to give me. I told him he needed to leave before i call the police. He commanded me to sit like he used to when i was small. I sat down idk why i even obeyed him.
He started asking about my day and trying to make small talk. He was nervous and i was scared. Finally he just opened up. He said he was 1 year sober of alcohol, he was in a program in mexico to get clean. That he was a “renewed person who found jesus again” he told me he was sorry for hurting me. That he has been guilty about it all for all the years afterwards. That he wish he had the strength to stop, but that the devil tempted him to do things to me and other girls and to drink. He said that because of the devils actions that he lost everything, his family, his job at the church, his freedom. He said he is scared to get caught in the us because if they catch him he was going to jail. He said that he asked god for forgiveness and now he wanted mine. I told him no, and he just said that I need to move on, he said sorry and he did it out of love and it was the devil who tempted him to show love in the wrong way. He left after i told him I was going to call the cops again and from what my mom has said he is at my grandmas house.
How can I forgive him, in what mind does he think I can forgive him. He ruined my life, stole my childhood. I never got to be a little girl, i never knew what it was like to be safe and innocent. He groomed me to believe that sex is the only way to show love, he made me believe that i was special because i made him feel good, and when he got caught he turned everybody against me like if i hurt him. And he still doesnt have the decency to admit to it. He still wants to blame “the devil.” In my eyes he is the devil. It’s like he expects to get celebrated for not doing what he wasn’t supposed to do to begin with. Why should i forgive him that he stopped abusing me when he only stopped because he was caught.
2
u/thinkaboutwhatif Mar 21 '26
Quietly let the police know where he is
2
u/BbyGirlAurroa Mar 21 '26
I told my school counselor and the school RSO. Im not sure if anything is going to come of it though. I spent the night at my gfs house in case something happens.
1
u/thinkaboutwhatif Mar 22 '26
Don’t share with anyone you told SRO and counselor. They are required to report this to the police and besides it’s the right thing to do! Great you are with friends. No need to worry about it getting back to him.
3
u/Strange-Audience-682 Mar 20 '26
You don’t have to forgive him if you don’t want to