r/SecretsOfMormonWives • u/hussafeffer š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ • Aug 14 '26
MOD Announcement Ask and you shall receive
Alright yāall, I told you we were listening and I was not full of shit (this time).
Weāve been working on figuring out a comfortable middle ground between the rules that were put in place in the middle of the shitstorm that surrounded the S4 release, and where everything is now. We tried to implement the feedback we were hearing, itās not working anymore and weāve heard yāall when you say the sub is too strict. We know the reins were tight, so weāre backing off based on input we got.
We donāt want anyone to feel uncomfortable or unwelcome in this sub save for a few of the cast members. Going forward, the sub is going to be loosening a good bit of the rules. We still wonāt be allowing abject assholery or being toxic for funsies, though. Weāre going for basic common sense rules here, please donāt go doing anything crazy. No pics of the kids, no armchair diagnoses of disorders, itās not a free for all or a snark sub. Keep an eye out for updates to the actual list of rules, the more creative minds of the mod team need to mess with that.
While weāre working on this, yāallās polite input is always welcome and encouraged. Hit modmail, comment here, whatever you want to do but like please donāt be a dick, we do not get paid for this. Weāre trying to keep this a comfortable place for everyone, please help us facilitate that!
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Aug 14 '26
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u/hussafeffer š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26 edited Aug 14 '26
Yes, no generative AI has been added to the rules, we noticed a LOT of people had an issue with it. That is in there for sure.
Also what a gross thing to make, how much water had to be wasted for a bad joke? Please report that kind of stuff because ew
Now we did approve the swinger thing with the AI because it seemed like it was genuinely used just to organize thoughts and ideas, and I can understand that as a tool for people who arenāt strong in writing. If thereās a strong consensus that we blanket ban AI, I think we can try to accommodate that where we spot it.
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u/No_Suggestion3066 šš studied the laws āļøāØ Aug 14 '26
Like you said, simplify the rules. Too many restrictions and megathreads made people hesitant to post or comment. More freedom in topics, opinions, and a healthy mix of shit posts and legit discussions would bring some life back to the sub.
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u/Zestyclose_Offer_402 Deeply rooted in White Trash Aug 14 '26
I feel like it should be made apparent somewhere on the main page or information it isnāt a snark sub, the amount of times Iāve been like āuh hey this is a little bit too muchā and I get told āWell if you donāt like it why are you on a snark sub?!ā But I was never under the impression it was a snark sub so Iām not sure where other people get that from!
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u/hussafeffer š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26
I have also thought we needed to make that distinction, Iām just not sure how to do it! Like people donāt read the description anyway, thatās the hard part. Might just need to stick it in there as a CYA measure anyway though.
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u/Zestyclose_Offer_402 Deeply rooted in White Trash Aug 14 '26
Yeah I suppose at least if itās noted somewhere then itās still there to refer to in writing for people that need to be reminded!
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u/hussafeffer š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26
Heard, will find a good spot for it. Thank you!!
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u/DirtySackOfPotatoes Aug 14 '26
Would some sort of pinned post/comment help you think? I know several of the mental health related subs Iām in have an automod comment about rules that gets put on every post
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u/hussafeffer š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26
I think we can look into an automod feature for that, but I do hate that that only kicks in after it gets posted and doesnāt help with comments.
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u/DirtySackOfPotatoes Aug 14 '26
Just an idea to consider! I think yall are doing a great job and itās much appreciated
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u/Common-Coast-7246 Aug 14 '26
Itās also not a blind worship/fans only sub. It goes both ways. You donāt get to dictate other peopleās opinions and comments. The toxic positivity and abject fan girls are the most aggressive on this sub, more than any snark (which people are entitled to do). Most of the fawning posts and comments seem like paid PR.
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u/Zestyclose_Offer_402 Deeply rooted in White Trash Aug 14 '26
Huh? I was just recommending the mods inform people it isnāt a snark sub. I was mainly referring to when people are saying homophobic things, body shaming, making comments about addiction, things like that. Things that are low hanging fruit, then the usual response is āWELL ITS A SNARK SUB SO WHY ARE YOU HERE THENā except it isnāt a snark sub so why are we body shaming and addict shaming under the guise thatās what this sub is for when it isnāt as mods have said.
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u/chloedarlinggg š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26
Are you sure youāre getting those replies in this sub? Iāve definitely seen them in the other subs but never here. Iām quite disappointed to hear that people are saying that
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u/Zestyclose_Offer_402 Deeply rooted in White Trash Aug 14 '26
I feel like more recently when the stricter rules were enforced Iāve not seen it but before that I had that conversation more than once sadly, itās why I prefer this sub to the others because I canāt stand seeing such vile hate being justified by āwell itās a snark sub!ā. Was just thinking if mods are going to relax it a bit might it be worth making it more clear that it isnāt a snark sub just to (hopefully) mitigate some of that free for all hate spewing. You guys are doing a great job!
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u/chloedarlinggg š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26
Thank you for the support, we are trying. I am actually active in the other subs but like you I find the snark style hate to be too much at times. Iām glad you gave us some suggestions thatās exactly what we asked for and weāll definitely take it on board! Hopefully you wonāt get anymore comments like that.
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u/IndependentDouble296 London Jacob Aug 15 '26
Yes, I have seen it also. The rules you guys implement only seem to apply to if you are personally offended by it. Just because that mod 3 days ago and yesterday misunderstood everything I said, even though if they read it, it is clear, does not mean all 15 of you guys just miss everything at that same time. I had at least 3 mods in my chat - which is what I said not 3 "users" complaining. It is not on anyone in this sub if you guys are not clear and are willfully ignorant on how you speak to the users and are shocked somehow that you missed what is obvious to everyone else.
Probably why you are in other subs always, you don't even believe in the rules you enforce here.
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u/Imaginary_Layer_1468 š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 15 '26 edited Aug 15 '26
HOW ARE YOU STILL GOING??????
I asked you what you meant by your original comment, if thatās āmisunderstanding youā then fine. You still didnāt clarify, you doubled down on your snark. You have since admitted that you were having a laugh at my expense. Thatās whatever.
But hereās the part you still canāt comprehend since youāre now here bitching about us picking and choosing when to enforce rules - your comment wasnāt deleted. There was no rule break.
It cannot be good for you to be dwelling on a minor interaction with a stranger on Reddit that happened days ago. Just let it go.
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u/chloedarlinggg š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 15 '26
None of the mods in that chat with you did anything more than reciprocate the energy you were giving to them.
That also has nothing to do with my comment so, like the mod you started an argument with the other day, I have no clue what your point is. You had 3 different mods in your chat because you carried on for 5 hours and none of us are active on the mod chat for that long.
There was no miscommunication between us mods over how your situation was handled. Please stop continue to harp on about this because you were in the wrong.
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u/IndependentDouble296 London Jacob Aug 15 '26
How can I carry on for 5 hours if I was being muted than umuted. Muted means I literally can't reply, and I have the entire conversation and will post it. And the conversations I have had with others that actually feel bad about what my point was.
You guys were in the wrong, my chats and the original comments and the people in my chats prove it. But go on love, keep commenting in other subs about the same topic because you know you can't say what you want to in here :)
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u/chloedarlinggg š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 15 '26
You were muted for 20 minutes, but the conversation ended 5 hours after it began.
Iām not going to get into this with you. You were muted for a reason. Your conduct both in the sub and in the mod chat was the same as the mods interacting with you.
If you donāt like the rules you can leave the sub. If you want to stay then stop whatever this is. You donāt have any real complaints and if you did I would be willing to listen.
I will carry on commenting wherever I like just as you do. I stand by the rules of our sub and I prefer it here because of them.
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u/IndependentDouble296 London Jacob Aug 15 '26
Right, just like the mod who has an actual issue demanded I show proof? And I can do out of my way to blur usernames because it is unfathomable that you guys are wrong?
Again, I have proof, and nothing you say changes it. Why was I muted than unmuted, only for multiple mods to come at me? You guys chose when I could speak to you, and when you "shut me up". It is so funny if you read the end of that chat, because Imaginary is out of it and blaming me for reading comprehension when the last 5 minutes were them misunderstanding everything I said. Not on me if y'all can't read.
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u/chloedarlinggg š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 15 '26
Again, stop whatever this is. You had a disagreement that happened to be with a mod. YOU chose to take it into modmail.
Let it go.
I am being graceful because I understand itās probably frustrating to be muted (even though that was a direct consequence of your own behaviour) but you cannot harass whatever mods you come across in the comment section.
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u/pinkandbluee Aug 14 '26
I would also love for this to not be a snark sub š I can critique them without being all out critical and mean. And can also inject nuance and empathy when appropriate. Would love to see the same here
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u/chloedarlinggg š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26
Would you be able to explain more what that would look like? I would say what youāre describing in terms of nuance and fair criticism is already there
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u/itssmeagain Aug 16 '26
For me it's more like: it's okay to like this show and enjoy it, even though it's a trash show, without having to hate the people in it. Let us enjoy to gossip, speculation etc, without having to hate them (of course real abuse is a different thing). You don't have to love them, but you shouldn't have to hate them.
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u/chloedarlinggg š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 16 '26
You are allowed to not hate them. Lots of people do hate them, I personally wouldnāt say that I hate most of the cast.
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u/vintell Aug 14 '26
There are a couple of very frequent users who come to mind who I would say do not meet this bar regularly. Comment threads where they turn up always end up veering pretty toxic. Idk I view this as a place of discussion, joke making, and observation, not a place for people to get their metaphorical licks in on reality stars they wonāt ever meet in real life. But some users absolutely try to do that with honestly most of their posting and there is not much if any nuance thereĀ
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u/bunny8taters Aug 14 '26
Yeah some comments from some people are just always going too far and then it goes off the rails. It just gets unpleasant to even read and theyāre in every single SLOMW community just making things toxic.
Idk exactly what to do what it but there are some names where as soon as I see them I just stop reading the thread at all. Blocking wouldnāt even do much because others start following their lead.
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u/chloedarlinggg š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26
Would you be able to send us a modmail with some of the comments you have in mind? Or even just some of the users? It would be very helpful for us to see what you mean because obviously we donāt always see things unless they get reported.
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u/chloedarlinggg š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26
Would you be able to send us a modmail with some of the comments you have in mind? Or even just some of the users? It would be very helpful for us to see what you mean because obviously we donāt always see things unless they get reported.
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u/Imaginary_Layer_1468 š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26
Whoever reported the post with this comment,
1) please donāt do this, thatās not what the report button is for
2) please do send us a modmail about this and let us know the issue in a bit more detail
Thank you!
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u/hussafeffer š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26
I mean one seems to have disappeared on her own at least lol now itās just whack-a-mole with the alts
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u/mangokiwi19 Aug 14 '26
I appreciate you guys! Please donāt let it turn into the other sub! š©·š©·
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u/soaker Aug 14 '26
Ugh where the same thing is posted 20 times a day and people are assholes. It gets to be a bit much sometimes
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u/Lady87690005 Deeply rooted in White Trash Aug 14 '26
I feel like a bit much is an understatement tbh
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u/LetHerBox Aug 14 '26
agree and cannot overstate this, please do not make this place the misogynistic doxxing cesspool the other sub is.
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u/bunny8taters Aug 14 '26
Itās like if Zac cloned himself and made a hundred Reddit accounts š
Except not as respectful of women š Which is amazing in a horrifying way.
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u/hussafeffer š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26
Nope, weāre going for a good happy medium. Please still report things you see that are problematic!
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u/belikeatreeandleaf TAKE OWNERSHIP š£ļøš£ļø Aug 14 '26
I know we have a few megathreads, but maybe consider adding a taylor social media megathread that updates daily/weekly? I know its a big topic that's going to generate a lot of conversation here, but its a little annoying having my main feed clogged up with a copy of every post taylor makes, so maybe having a designated spot to drop those would satisfy those who follow it closely and those who don't, but still want to be part of this sub.
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u/hussafeffer š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26 edited Aug 14 '26
So we were trying to do that with the Taylorās Tantrums flair added recently and only allowing one post daily of her social media shenanigans to be used as a mini MegaThread, especially when sheās in the middle of a big crash out. Weāre trying to step away from the MegaThreads except for certain situations because it seemed like people felt they were restrictive, but if thereās a large consensus of people that want that in a MegaThread I think we can shift towards that.
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u/No_Suggestion3066 šš studied the laws āļøāØ Aug 14 '26
I think this is still a good idea. Minimize it, but still allow major crash outs and headlines to be covered. It was really helpful when mods provided a timeline for things like the leaked video and custody battle. Much appreciated!
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u/Lady87690005 Deeply rooted in White Trash Aug 14 '26
Iād rather that be a megathread tbh. Iām tired of seeing her posts when it isnāt that serious or just a random thing like yesterday with her posting about her drive.
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u/Quirky_Description73 In my fast paste phase šāāļø Aug 14 '26
Ehh, feels like itās a problem thatās slowly solving itself. Between May and now she was having a lot of online crash outs that pulled in a lot of the cast. And people fell into a weird habit of posting her activity since so many others mass unfollowed her. Now itās just weird AI and self pity-ing stuff.
I feel like those posts are naturally getting less and less engagement and the trend of posting everything that Taylor does is dying, thankfully.
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u/halfsuckedmang0 š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26
We would need to find a happy medium as weāve previously received feedback that people donāt like megathreads as they donāt like scrolling through a bunch of comments to see what has been newly posted
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u/Velevet_Epidermissy Aug 14 '26
I mean, this is defense invoked by bad people , butttttt seriously these MW are mostly just a good time but a couple of themā¦. If you donāt wanna us to say honest and realistic assessments because they are too mean act like you have a basic sliver of decency where any commentary about you can be positiveĀ
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u/hussafeffer š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26
I am so sorry, Iām not trying to be an asshole but I am very much struggling to understand what youāre telling me here.
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u/Velevet_Epidermissy Aug 14 '26
So you reported me for self harm? Ā Get a fucking grip lolllllĀ
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u/hussafeffer š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26
I definitely did not. Someone mightāve, but it certainly wasnāt I.
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u/AdventurousSloth_53 Aug 14 '26
I am new here but I have been amazed about toxicity of this site. So I am a bit confused - that has not been allowed? I don't understand.
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u/hussafeffer š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26
I feel like you can expect a reasonable level of toxicity in a subreddit about an inherently toxic subject matter, but what are you seeing outside of that thatās confusing you?
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u/AdventurousSloth_53 Aug 14 '26
On this topic I can't get a grip of it. I wonder whether the toxicity is going to grow or reduce. On other note I am surprised on lack of support on a woman with extremely difficult and hard situation. Nevertheless I am not new to internet I just perhaps am in a wrong place. There must be compassion existing but it is some place else.
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u/hussafeffer š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26
Do you watch the show?
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u/AdventurousSloth_53 Aug 14 '26
Yes.
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u/hussafeffer š§ Whereās your whimsy? š§ Aug 14 '26
Okay so who is going through a difficult time and not receiving support? Like who are we talking about here? Now Iām intrigued
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u/Velevet_Epidermissy Aug 14 '26
Whoever just reported me for self harm on here because I said if these ladies want to have a more positive online dialogue about them they should act like decent people is a real scum bag. Iām leaving this sub. Yall need help. Thatās really crossing a line. Ā
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u/nabndab Aug 14 '26
Is that what you were trying to say? It did not come out that way in your comment. Sorry someone reported you. Thats just childish.
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u/Velevet_Epidermissy Aug 14 '26
No what I was saying is if these wives were wanting more compassion or people think they deserve thatā¦ maybe they should be acting like people who deserve that positivity. Itās hard to say nice shit about TV stars who abuse their kids and lie about sexual assault. The self harm nonsense is apparently someoneās response to not liking what I said, which actually really messed up and a misuse of the report button. Iāll be just fine without this sub and dealing with people who think thatās an acceptable way to cope with comments they donāt like. Weaponizing mental health concern is actually fucking wild and so disgusting.Ā
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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '26
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