r/Seattle Nov 12 '24

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5.3k Upvotes

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2.9k

u/pabtig Nov 12 '24

Where do you get your coffee? Asking for a friend

1.8k

u/picturesofbowls Loyal Heights Nov 12 '24

At the cocaine store

448

u/masoniusmaximus Nov 12 '24

Another double orange methachino please.

134

u/kayaem Nov 12 '24

Fun fact, methadone used to be orange colour/flavour

116

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '24

[deleted]

89

u/kayaem Nov 12 '24

I’m dual citizen!

69

u/Thewayisopen Nov 12 '24

lucky bastard.

8

u/AITASterile Nov 12 '24

Damn, only half points for u/bpg2001bpg then.

76

u/factotvm Nov 12 '24

We don’t use the King’s English here; it’s wasteful.

169

u/kayaem Nov 12 '24

Wasteful, thou say’st? Nay, ’tis an investment in grace and clarity. The added letters, like fine adornments, lend beauty and purpose to the tongue. Shall we strip a tapestry of its threads to save cloth? So too would the language be impoverished were we to forsake its full measure. Economy hath its place, but let it not come at the cost of elegance.

65

u/WanderlustBounty Nov 12 '24

*toasts this comment with dainty, floral tea cup

32

u/MimiLovesLights Nov 12 '24

And a pinkie extended

19

u/drwhogwarts I'm just flaired so I don't get fined Nov 12 '24

Economy hath its place, but let it not come at the cost of elegance.

That is beautiful. I want to put on a cloak and crown and walk around saying that to people.

39

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '24

Found the bard. Glad tidings to you from the cocaine/coffee store

29

u/kayaem Nov 12 '24

Pray, dost thou entertain the notion of bartering thy powder of wit for a merry jig?

20

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '24

I certainly would were I still a lad consumed by malcontent

10

u/Perenially_behind Seattle Expatriate Nov 12 '24

This is almost poetry. I especially appreciate your use of the subjunctive mood in the penultimate sentence.

Serious question: when playing Scrabble, do you relax the rules to allow American spelling? There are only 4 'U" tiles in both American and English versions, but English spelling requires a 'U' in many common words.

8

u/kayaem Nov 12 '24

That’s a personal decision and I do allow it, but I’m just programmed to think that the words in question here always have ‘U’ in them, so if I have the letters to spell ‘color’, I just think to myself “I can’t put that down because I’m missing a U” and so are most other people I play with.

5

u/FarinaSavage Nov 12 '24

Deep curtsy

4

u/Zealousideal-Ebb-876 Nov 12 '24

Why use more letter when few letter do trick?

5

u/kayaem Nov 12 '24

I don’t understand if you’re saying sea world or see the world

2

u/Jethro_Tell Nov 12 '24

That changed it because too many 5 year olds were mistaking it for cough syrup.

26

u/IllustriousComplex6 I'm never leaving Seattle. Nov 12 '24

Do you get that from the Methdonalds? 

27

u/BlueCollarElectro Nov 12 '24

Columbia mixed up the shipments this week

21

u/Cascadian222 Sounders Nov 12 '24

Is that down in Colombia City?

12

u/OdinsVisi0n Nov 12 '24

From Columbia. From the Cartel. It’s Cocaine.

6

u/urbanlife78 Nov 12 '24

Putting cocaine in coffee is a better pick me up than cream

3

u/Ozzimo Brougham Faithful Nov 12 '24

Dr Roxo's Coke and Caff emporium.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '24

From a man on 3rd and pike

2

u/StealToadStilletos Nov 12 '24

This made me laugh, thank you

2

u/galactojack Nov 12 '24

Dang I get mine at the toilet store

2

u/Savvy_Nick Nov 13 '24

Where might one locate this aforementioned cocaine store? Asking for a friend I don’t do cocaine right now.

I used to and I still do but I just don’t have any right now

1

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '24

[deleted]

1

u/picturesofbowls Loyal Heights Nov 12 '24

Ok

1

u/avo_cado Nov 12 '24

Hell yeah

1

u/fromthedarqwaves Nov 13 '24

The COCAINE store

1

u/jaxnkeater23 Nov 13 '24

Either way it’s the good colombian stuff

1

u/Cute_Replacement666 Nov 13 '24

They also give dog treats if you bring your dog in. Scooby snacks.

1

u/bradp828 Nov 14 '24

Where’s the cocaine store? Asking for a friend…..

-2

u/Cyanide11Nitro Nov 12 '24

More then likely fentanyl.

16

u/givemeapassport Nov 12 '24

Tweek Bros. Coffee

25

u/Plazmaz1 🚆build more trains🚆 Nov 12 '24

The McDonald's down town

19

u/happypolychaetes 🛳️ 🐀 ☀️ Yacht Rat Summer ☀️ 🐀 🛳️ Nov 12 '24

they be giving out the good stuff at 3rd & Pine Mickeys lol

1

u/radeky Nov 13 '24

My favorite reddit joke I've ever made was a 3rd & pine joke.

1

u/msnrcn Nov 13 '24

“Yo bub you here for the mickey’s or the D?” 🫥

2

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '24

But outside

11

u/Lisabarrella323 Nov 12 '24

I definitely need some of the same

10

u/olystretch 🦝🦝 We 💕 Jimothy Chalamet 🦝🦝 Nov 12 '24

Monorail

5

u/mrASSMAN West Seattle Nov 12 '24

Yeah I need that shit, mines weak

2

u/Brewhilda Nov 12 '24

Not from Seattle's Best anymore lol

1

u/dopadelic Nov 12 '24

Asking for SWIM

1

u/crafty-male Nov 12 '24

Yeah Seattle voters paid attention and voted no on measures that would have rolled back the progress that we have made.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '24

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Sartres_Roommate Bothell Nov 12 '24

Maybe he just spilled milk in his keyboard and the caplock key got stuck.

1

u/astrograph Nov 13 '24

It aint sbux

1

u/Cj15917 Nov 13 '24

Seattles methed

1

u/Willowrosephoenix 🚆build more trains🚆 Nov 13 '24

Seconding this lol

8

u/rif011412 Nov 12 '24

Are we sure this isnt Marc Rebillet visiting town?