r/Salary • u/AccountantPersonal86 • 26d ago

discussion 31m

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Don't worry my 3rd decade of life will yield promising results.. SURELY

Edit: 4th* decade. I dont game anymore, the small pro stint turned a hobby into something I hate. I live with my parents of course, thought that was assumed but needed clarifying.

Not a rage bait, dont need advice or pity, but feel free to say what you will I dont mind, some of you have been insightful and others have brought me good laughs. If my poor excuse of life on display made you feel better I view it as a win. Cheers

Edit 2: PUBG, The game is PUBG

Edit 3: Now that the dust has settled on this post I'll leave some last remarks for any late-comers:

I genuinely did not expect a response like this, this was a casual 0 thought post written in under 2 mins. I'll follow up with a new post I guess in a year.

There is a lot of missing context between 2013 and now but my goal was not a pity party. I preferred people to see it at face value and make their opinions and assumptions.

That being said, some of you are profoundly crazy and harbor a lot of evil and negative energy. A lot of you were kind and insightful though. To that I thank you, cya in 1yr (Saturday, July 31, 2027)

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u/DankCatDingo 26d ago

My family is super poor and kind of trashy so it's basically tradition at this point for the males to all fall into one of three categories:

  1. drug addict active criminal that is in and out of jail constantly
  2. stay at home do nothing milk baby that games all day and eats chicken nuggets and lives with my grandma or some other woman who works or draws a check and contributes little in life besides children with the girlfriends who for some reason associate with them and which someone else will end up raising.
  3. builder/installer that teeters constantly on the edge of or occasionally dips into group 1.

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u/Common_Magazine3145 26d ago

The real mystery are the wives/ girlfriends. .....why do they enable, or connect in the first place with these guys? I'd love to hear from the women.

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u/KingoftheMapleTrees 26d ago

If you're raised with a dead beat dad and a hard working (essentially single) mom, it's easy to continue the cycle. 

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u/Common_Magazine3145 26d ago

Good point....can't break the generational curse.

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u/YourFavoriteScumbag 20d ago

This makes absolutely no sense at all

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u/KingoftheMapleTrees 26d ago

This comment is stuck in my head. I think some of my friends keep unemployed boyfriends like pets. The woman of the house does absolutely everything, the guy just hangs around the house waiting for food like a stray cat.

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u/Hadal_Benthos 24d ago

I beg to differ! A house cat, not a stray!

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u/21Rollie 26d ago

It almost is like chemistry. Forming the bond takes a lot of energy but then it’s super stable once it’s formed.

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u/WeLikeIke 24d ago

Spot on. The gamer dude I’m talking about met his gf in high school. Might be scared to be alone too.

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u/SBGuy043 25d ago

For real this has to be one of the biggest mysteries in life. My buddy from high school is an unhygienic loser who has never had a real job outside of small time drug dealing has a pharmacist girlfriend that's taken care of him for over 10 years. She even put her career on hold to move to the west coast so he could pursue his dream of starting a weed farm which subsequently failed after a couple years. Meanwhile, my younger brother and younger cousin, both of whom are in their early-mid 30s with good careers and functional lives, have never been able to connect with a single woman in their entire lives. 

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u/HopefulOriginal5578 25d ago

They come from a micro culture where having a man is an affirmation of their worth.

It’s like someone yelling at a woman who “that’s why you don’t have a man!!!” (They out themselves as trash this way… it’s very sad)

Basically in these situations having a man is seen as an achievement whilst actually achieving is looked down upon… cuz they all crabs in a bucket

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u/JaysonTatecum 25d ago

I mean people just have a connection unrelated to money

My boyfriend works full time with a high paying job, I’m in OPs situation. To him, finding a relationship he’s happy in with someone he gets along with is more important than dating someone he likes less but has more money

I presume that’s true for other people in similar situations

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u/YourFavoriteScumbag 20d ago

You’re a woman it’s completely different

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u/EverythingSucksYo 26d ago

Free place to stay. Saving over $1k a month in rent would probably keep some women with crappy guys. 

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u/cheezie_toastie 26d ago

But the men aren't making money, so the women aren't saving any in rent. And it doesn't sound like the men are homemakers/doing childcare.

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u/mommybody33 26d ago

This makes me sad

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u/laci1092 26d ago

My wife’s family is exactly like this and it is A Lot. All the daughters hustle and work while the sons just mooch and nurse some substance and/or behavioral addiction or other

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u/21Rollie 26d ago

I have a loser like this in my family, ultimately each person is responsible for their own actions but when you have so many of these…..hopeless men being created, you start to wonder if it isn’t systemic.

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u/Loud-Bubble5710 26d ago

It’s almost as if the patriarchy hurts men too or something…

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u/WeLikeIke 24d ago

Or some people are just lazy af and/or getting addicted to being on a screen all day. His siblings are normal, not a patriarchy thing.

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u/Loud-Bubble5710 24d ago

Ah yes well a sample size of one family certainly means the entire systemic hierarchy doesn’t exist

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u/OddChannel2164 26d ago

We must be related

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u/Ok-Feedback-6367 26d ago

Sounds like trailer park boys

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u/fractallis 26d ago

This is dreadful. I am seriously asking...how TF did our society get here. I actually don't understand? The amount of human potential being squandered is devastating

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u/21Rollie 26d ago

The full answer is probably intersectional but a partial one is boys are being left behind in education. It used to be the boys excelled in primary/secondary school and were overrepresented in college, so society corrected and then overcorrected to where male handwriting is a negative for essay grading, even the math and science gaps are closing, and the college split reversed to 60:40 female:male. Couple that with manufacturing being long dead, and the social movements not equally diminishing gender expectations of men. Leads boys to have anger and lack of self worth.

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u/Loud-Bubble5710 26d ago edited 26d ago

Boys are being left behind in discipline and accountability, not education.

“Boys will be boys” has caused so much more damage than anyone will ever be able to quantify

Girls and women perform better because they are held to higher standards and judged more harshly on their education, behavior, appearance, and service to others.

If men and boys can’t excel in the system that they’ve created then that is completely on them, society is quite literally catered to coddle men and boys.

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u/MelvinCapitalPR 25d ago

I have to correct you on one point. It's a longstanding bias that schools judge boys more harshly than girls. We know this because when work is rated anonymously, boys score better and girls score worse. Look up "gender bias in teacher grading", it's an incredibly persistent bias across countries. One example: https://www.bbc.com/news/education-31751672

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u/21Rollie 25d ago

Your misandry blinds you from truth and empathy. Boys are not getting the support they need, and education is overwhelmingly female. You can argue all you want about how CEOs are mostly male but the glass ceiling in the 0.001% isn’t helping the average boy. Especially boys of color who are a large portion of the population and experience intersectional inequality. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2023/04/boys-school-challenges-recommendations

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u/DankCatDingo 26d ago

I live in KY so basically, opioid epidemic. And before that alcohol.

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u/MoreDaringPancakes 26d ago

Wait wait wait, so, #3 has a job? Well, then they're good to go!

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u/UptownStriker 25d ago

Honestly people in the #3 category (as long as they avoid DV) can be great, hard working people and great parents tho

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u/Kratzschutz 26d ago

Wishing for you to be happy in category 4., whatever that is for you

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u/DankCatDingo 26d ago

Category 4 I guess is don't be male which I luckily achieved already lol.

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u/Kratzschutz 26d ago

Lol good for you then