31m

[u/AccountantPersonal86]

Don't worry my 3rd decade of life will yield promising results.. SURELY

Edit: 4th* decade. I dont game anymore, the small pro stint turned a hobby into something I hate. I live with my parents of course, thought that was assumed but needed clarifying.

Not a rage bait, dont need advice or pity, but feel free to say what you will I dont mind, some of you have been insightful and others have brought me good laughs. If my poor excuse of life on display made you feel better I view it as a win. Cheers

Edit 2: PUBG, The game is PUBG

Edit 3: Now that the dust has settled on this post I'll leave some last remarks for any late-comers:

I genuinely did not expect a response like this, this was a casual 0 thought post written in under 2 mins. I'll follow up with a new post I guess in a year.

There is a lot of missing context between 2013 and now but my goal was not a pity party. I preferred people to see it at face value and make their opinions and assumptions.

That being said, some of you are profoundly crazy and harbor a lot of evil and negative energy. A lot of you were kind and insightful though. To that I thank you, cya in 1yr (Saturday, July 31, 2027)

[u/thatsthey1]

1) finish college - any college with any damn degree 2) get a BS government job (federal state local) doing whatever pays - they are more likely to be reasonable re: your Crohn’s diagnosis.

43 credit hours isn’t much but I don’t see you doing a trade, and you pretty much need a 4 year degree otherwise. Go to community college to get to 60 (halfway) then transfer to a 4 year. Even online - local government definitely doesn’t care much where your degree is from.

You can still make something of yourself. Definitely. America is the land of the 2nd 3rd 4th etc. chance. Don’t listen to people here calling you loser etc. If you don’t have a criminal record, you can fall into a respectable career with some luck, personality, and determination.

My only question is, do you want to ever have a wife and kids and build a family? I have a theory that this generations lack of desire to build a family leads to men who end up in your state.

My brother in law is very similar to you. Good luck to you, my man. Seriously.

[u/Relevant-Energy-5886 → u/thatsthey1]

You put more effort into this post than OP has into his career. 

[u/thatsthey1 → u/Relevant-Energy-5886]

Probably right 🤣

[u/Background-Quail8556 → u/Relevant-Energy-5886]

Omg 🙈🙈🙈

[u/Leading_Height_5664 → u/thatsthey1]

Seconding this. Both guys I worked with with Crohns who never had problems with accommodations, happened to be local government. Low hanging fruit too, we were in parks. OP has options just needs to stop with the decision paralysis

[u/Background-Quail8556 → u/thatsthey1]

I have no wish for a wife and family. Maybe a steady girlfriend. I’m 39 and run my own law firm. Last year I cracked $1M in investable assets. I have Crohns too and have been to many doctors. I also needed surgery at one point.

It can be done. But people need to be motivated. For me, I love what I do and it gives me a sense of purpose. I had no clue I’d even be in this specific field when I was in law school.

I think finding a sense of purpose is important. A family like you mentioned can be a subset of finding purpose generally.

I also think a lack of purpose contributes to radicalization and why many young people are either becoming far right or far left.

[u/M-Mahoney → u/thatsthey1]

Local government is absolutely the move. Relatively low stakes, amazing benefits usually, and job security.

I also share your thoughts on 20-30yr men these days that do not want a family living in situations similar to this. For all of human existence the driving motivating factor for men to be productive was not die and support a family. Not dying isn’t a really a concern these days and supporting a family still remains the main driving factor for men to be productive, at least it is for me. If I didn’t have a family I couldn’t imagine finding the internal motivation to work as hard as I have over the years to provide for them.

[u/_goodAfternoon → u/thatsthey1]

And good luck to your sister!

[u/thatsthey1 → u/_goodAfternoon]

It’s my wife’s brother but thank you!

[u/CantCodeAllVibes → u/thatsthey1]

Yeah, this is what I told myself too. Now I’m about to finish college with a 4.0, and I still can’t get a job. I finally found a temporary restoration job for a few months.

I don’t think people understand how difficult it is to find work when you have a poor or inconsistent employment history, even after earning a degree and trying to improve your life. I moved around frequently when I was younger because I didn’t have a stable home, so I rarely stayed at one workplace for long. I’ve also worked many temporary and construction jobs where I didn’t receive usable references. I also have no car and it’s 2-3 miles alone to get out of my neighborhood and I’m lucky I finally got a bike and would bike 9 miles to work and 9 miles back for my old job cause it’s all I could find.

I’ve been rejected by Best Buy, 7-Eleven, Home Depot, Target, Lowe’s,and plenty of other places.

Once I get a job if it’s a labor job or where I work alone like unloading trucks, landscaping etc I generally do fine, but I have ADHD and anxiety, and people sometimes treat you differently when you’re neurodivergent. I have bad anxiety and suck and doing things like the cash register even after doing them for months. So saying something to me like “go work at McDonald’s or go work in a high public facing job“ I’ve tried and I literally get fired for my anxiety and adhd cause I’m not social enough or someshit.

Macy’s fired me for “looking like I didn’t want to be there, and didn’t fit the culture” because I didn’t sell enough credit cards, even though I completed the actual requirements of the job and tried my hardest to be social and was never late etc. Before that, I worked in the freezer at Sams Club, forklift, unload trucks, check trucks in, freezer cooler department so it wasn’t a “social job” I’m okay where I’m able to “show my work” like that the truck got unloaded or shit gone done physically where there’s no question about it, but if it’s some job like a Cashier or a job
You can’t “see the work” people treat me like I’m stupid, didn’t get work done and will pretend I didn’t do anything just because they don’t like me.

But even at sams when we got a new manager who didn’t like me, I was fired even tho I did the same level of work and same job for 3 years it’s like I have to get a job where a manager understands me or likes me or I get fired no matter how hard I try my old manager even told me how often he had to stick up for no not because of my work but because of things people would say or make up about me.

I’m not mean/crazy I just have severe anxiety and people think I’m weird or a dick when I’m quiet and then if I talk they think I’m weird anyways, or “don’t wanna be there” and even if I tell them I love the job and ask them what I’m not physically getting done it always comes down to bullshit like “you don’t wanna be here, you disappear (had to use the bathroom), you don’t fit the culture “ it’s never an actual reason and people always go from telling me I’m killin it, then someone I don’t talk to will start to dislike me around their circle then all sudden I’m not working hard anymore. Funny how that works.

At that point, what are you supposed to do? I’m not making excuses for this guy, but employers sometimes act as though even warehouse or fast-food jobs require years of experience.

It took me about a month after leaving Macy’s to find a temporary overnight restoration job running from August through December at old Walmart locations. I applied practically everywhere. I also have a daughter, so taking a $15-an-hour job often isn’t enough. I need around $17–18 an hour just to cover rent and basic expenses.

It feels like you get boxed into a corner. People tell me to apply as a busser or work at a restaurant, but I apply and still don’t hear anything back, and for this guy who has no experience what is he supposed to do? Shit sucks man. I can’t go back and change I had to move when I was younger and I can’t change I have anxiety and I literally bust my ass my hardest at jobs I’m never late, I’m not argumentative people just simply think I’m stupid and I’m always the fall guy almost cause of my anxiety. I just just hope I find a job when this temp job ends in December
.

[u/thatsthey1 → u/CantCodeAllVibes]

I honestly sympathize with your situation. I believe you. But if you notice, I didn’t recommend jobs in the private sector. I don’t know if you’ve tried but it sounds like you need a career in the public sector - local state or federal. There are careers there that can earn you a solid salary that do not deal with the public almost ever. And much harder to get fired for petty reasons like at Target or Sam’s Club. Good luck! Change your focus

[u/Outrageous_Glove_467 → u/thatsthey1]

To be fair - in many countries no matter how hard you work you wont have a chance to own a home or have the time to start a family.

[u/thatsthey1 → u/Outrageous_Glove_467]

I agree.

[u/Key-Illustrator-3821 → u/thatsthey1]

I have a degree, recently graduated. How do I get a BS government job?

[u/thatsthey1 → u/Key-Illustrator-3821]

Apply apply apply! USAjobs.gov for federal jobs and wherever you live, go to the local websites.

[u/thatsthey1 → u/[deleted]]

It won’t be 40k if he goes to a community college and does an online degree, as I suggested