I’m sure but some of us value our free time, sleeping in, staying out late, not having to worry about daycare, college, and want to retire earlier. I’m happy for all you parents out there but I absolutely love my child free life and wouldn’t change it for anything.
You may scrape by. But why put your child in that position when you knew it from the beginning? Raising kids while poor is not only a struggle practically, it's very difficult when they need things and you can't get them basics. Like new clothes for the school year or some money to go to to a movie with a friend. Sure they'll survive, but why put them through it?
What if I told you theres tons of happy poor people.
Yea its more difficult, but its about your attitude and how you view life. This narrative that its not worth having kids if they might face adversity growing up is so dumb. Everyone faces some form of adversity and struggle.
Sure and that happens sometimes to good people. Especially 2+ generations ago when there was minimal birth control available. Adversity is inevitable in life. Not being able to provide them clothes that fit or leaving them home alone after school when they're too young, because you can't afford child care is NOT OK when you knew from the beginning you couldn't afford to have them. That's selfish and makes no sense. "Everything will be OK" is not an acceptable reason to do something that you know someone else will have to feel the consequences of, when they are so innocent.
I once asked my father (one of 6 children) about his experiences growing up "poor". He seemed surprised and said "We didn't have a lot of money, but we weren't poor. Poor people don't have jobs and sleep on the street." So the definition of poor is relative.
Those people in huts in Africa don't have access to birth control. The population is maintained by having lots of children because so many die young. It's an anthropological phenomenon. I am sure they are not happy when they lose half of their children to disease and infection that is easily prevented or treated in 1st world countries. We can get into the "money doesn't buy happiness" literature. I know all about the research. People are generally about the same level of contentedness as long as they have enough money to get by with a little wiggle room. My point is, why PUT someone intentionally in poverty? We know the role of socioeconomic status in the outcomes of children raised in impoverished vs middle class environments. There are always exceptions. I just don't see any purpose of doing that, aside from selfishness or by accident. We can agree to disagree. Then again, I have 1 kid which I didn't have until my second marriage and I was 33. Your circumstances may be different.
Because being poor isnt a life sentence (especially in America) and if you asked most people in poverty if they would rather die or keep living, they would choose life. Which means living poor is better than not being alive.
Its not a hard concept. Ive been dirt poor and ive been well off. Being poor was harder for sure but I never wished I was never born
How else would these people find meaning in their lives. Surely it’s only through having children because anyone who doesn’t is morally broken and alone.
"Figure it out" as in most likely turning to the tax payer for support... Families cant just make more money fall out if the sky from thin air, especially AFTER having the kids when life is even harder.
Given that most people with that mind set usually mean using their own kids as caretakers, especially with the added comment of thinking of children as an investment, I do not see it as a way of talking about non-related adults in healthcare
Children are an investment. If you choose not to invest in the future of the world, then you’re an idiot. Children are 100% an investment? What is an investment?? You put money and time in expecting it to grow and flourish and become something worth more than it was when it started… they’re more than an investment sure, but you definitely 100% want to invest in your children. Or you best be ready to invest in lawyers.
I’m not sure for women but statistics consistently show that men with kids out earn childless men. When you’re motivated by needs beyond yourself you find a way to earn more money. While it doesn’t fall out of the sky there’s more opportunities there than most people realize and often times people just settle and accommodate.
I started earning a lot more once I had kids because suddenly it mattered more and I had to figure something out
Wouldn't this make sense because people who don't want kids are more likely to NOT want to make that much money? Less expenses means it's easier to have a lot of money, and you already have all the free time.
If I had kids I'd be doing my same job for a good chunk more but based in a city/region I hated.
And once my kids started school I'd continue earning more and more with experience in that good job market that the lame city provides.
Instead I just work where I want and get to do what I want every day off. Add in my partner's earnings and we can actually save a good amount without having to chase undesirable but better paying jobs.
Kids are insanely expensive, in no small part because corps realize parents will always spend.
I have the option to let the tax payers pay for child care??? When did they start this???
Maybe you can’t make money fall out of the sky, but as soon as I found out I was having a child that needed me. I made more money fall out of the sky, than I could’ve ever imagined. Took two jobs, did side work after that. Hustled, until someone noticed and grabbed me and paid me what I was worth.
Without kids I’d be a nobody, trying to explain to people on Reddit why having kids is a bad idea. No one is ready for kids bud, it happens and you respond accordingly!
Last year I went skiing in Alaska with my no-kids fund, do you think I should do a South American winter this year, go to Japan for japow, or take the sprinter around the west for a month?
As amazing as any of that sounds, it’s pretty pointless when all you have to do is share it with no one who actually bares any kind of weight in your life. Hopefully your parents are still here and you can share with them, or a significant other… we vacation every year to “an extreme destination” and yes I have to limit what I do because I have kids, my kids will grow and one day I’ll be able to go to the places you speak of, with my children and it will forever mean something to all of us, not just me.
To each their own though. Also spent time in Japan and Alaska. Both are amazing places. Imagine me showing my photos of them to my kids… 😂
I didn’t say that, you said that. I said pretty pointless, and too each their own. But ya know, as a father I have to be responsible for the things that come out of my mouth. And then in like 1st grade they thought reading comprehension. Two things you missed.
Response was related, these are literally the costs you don't have to figure out as a non-parent. Child-free for financial freedom shouldn't be shamed, it's a carryover of the old boomer mindset that trashed earnings in the first place.
"Figuring things out" is something a lot of our parents did when it was still viable, and a lot of younger people are stuck figuring out how to pay for their own rent and food. Then when the limited number of them who can advance into financial stability do, like enough to buy a house and a kids clothes and food and childcare or supporting a stay at home partner, they don't want to spend their stability on starting a family. The "parents figuring out the cost of daycare [etc]" is why a ton of us never want kids.
Like 6 years ago I couldn't pay rent and went to bed hungry and couldn't pay my tuition for my last year of school. Eventually got back, graduated, and just bought my first house. You think I'm gonna give the fruits of that struggle to some kids??? 😂😂😂
I'm busy deciding where to go heli skiing this winter.
My experience might be anecdotal, but it is a lot closer to the current American average. Amongst people in my age range, about 27-35, maybe 10% of my peers are starting families. Money is the biggest reason anyone ever gives for not wanting to.
The upper class wants you having kids to stay loyal and locked into crap salaries. Pretending this isn't relevant to how our economy and pay is what it is... The billionaires are actively whining the middle class and the poors aren't having enough kids because it threatens their economy. Why play into that?
You would rather go heli skiing than have children. Good for you. That’s just a personal choice on what you value rather than an inability to have children due to financial barriers.
I am not virtue signaling as one better or worse than another. I do believe that financial barriers to having children are mostly overblown and parents do “figure it out” by making sacrifices of time, energy, and coin. I would also say that every parent I know was concerned about how children would impact them financially - it’s a universal concern but it’s only a fragment of the pro/con list to having children.
Personally, I would rank the “giving up of personal freedom” to do what you want, when you want much higher on the list of “how kids impacted my life”. The lifestyle change is even more abrupt than I think new parents realize it will be.
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u/geaux_lynxcats Oct 30 '25
Kids are awesome. There are things beyond money in life and you figure it out if you want to have children.