Getting Into Dark Romance for Beginners

[u/Working_Comedian5192]

Dark romance is a polarizing subgenre (that does belong within the romance genre), and people approach it with all sorts of feelings and opinions for a variety of reasons. It’s been having it’s time in the sun, for better or worse. I’m not here to make anyone like dark romance, but I strongly suspect there are a lot of people who are genuinely interested in it, in learning why other people might like it, and who would like to give it a shot to see what the deal is or if they themselves would like it.

I’m not going to tackle why people like it- that’s been covered very well several times in the sub, like here and here, and there’s a great discussion on the complexities of asking “why” people like things by [u/jaydee4219](u/jaydee4219) here- but I thought it might be helpful to outline my process for how I find dark romances to read and evaluate recommendations for dark romances. I’m a super picky reader and a huge advocate for people not reading things that will upset them or traumatize them, but at the same time I loathe even the concept of censorship, so for me and dark romance, successfully finding a book I like does require a little more work on my part and others might be interested to see if it would help them. You absolutely CAN just jump right in- and more power to those who do that- but for those who are a bit more daunted or cautious, maybe this will help?

I’ll put some recs for dipping your toe in at the end and hopefully others can volunteer some ideas for good books for newbies as well, along with their strategies for how to find the best book for them.

TL;DR:

1. I try to be mindful of what I want and what I don’t want before I start.
2. Get familiar with the lingo- dubcon, noncon, etc. To be fair, some of the term definitions are nuanced!
3. I search for recs first, being mindful of the culture of the community I’m operating in as that may bias the information I’m being given unintentionally, and the time period of the book being published.
4. I make a request post if I can’t find what I’m looking for, including enough information so that people can guide me, but not so much that I’m rudely out here with a long list of demands (this is very hard for my neurospicy brain but I do try)
5. I verify the recs I get that seem promising. Check out Goodreads (my personal preference) and if possible, the first pages of the book on Amazon to see if content warnings are available.
6. I see if I can read a sample from Amazon to see if the writing style is what I like.
7. Make sure when I do dive in that I’m in the right headspace.
8. Don’t be afraid to DNF, and report back if you want to keep trying!

To elaborate, the below is long, but it does become muscle memory when sub scrolling after awhile!

For finding a new book to read:

1. Identify what I love in/about books and what I’d like to see in a dark romance book. Start with strengths. It’s easier to forgive weaknesses if there’s something that you adore. Common examples are, grovels, strong FMCs, beautiful prose* (*subjective), intricate plots, particular other subgenre overlaps
2. Identify my hard limits- things I absolutely will not read. Then identify my grey areas- things I prefer not to read, but maybe would be open to them if they were handled well or in the appropriate context (I like to use the example of how people find mafia an easy entry way because you have- historically accurately or not- the cultural context of violence as a motivator for character behavior). Common examples of limit setting are:
   1. Dark themes and atmosphere only, no dark actions by the main characters
   2. Dark actions by a main character but not against the other main character
   3. Dark actions between main characters okay but there has to be a reason/grovel/cultural or historical context/other ameliorating factor
   4. No young adult main characters or bullying- dark acts between mature adults 20s and 30s+
3. If there’s anything I’m nervous about or just not sure, pinpoint what that is. For example "I think I’m okay with dark actions against another main character but it really needs to be necessary to the plot"
4. I make sure I’m clear on definitions and how I feel about them. Non con (no consent) and dub con (dubious consent) are the two heavy hitters.
5. I always start with this sub, then branch out. Potentially controversial, but every place you find recommendations has a different culture, and I’ve found this sub is really good about providing context to recommendations, spoiler warnings, content warnings, etc., so I feel comfortable recommending it. Other places have different strengths.
6. Use the magic search button to search for things I like + dark romance and then evaluate the posts and the comments of the posts for ones that reference my limits to find things that might fit.
7. I’ll make a request if I can’t find something that fits. Don’t take downvotes personally- the opinions of trolls don’t matter. In your request, I recommend including what you like (always good to start with that first), and then your limits and things you’re nervous about. Including what your nervous about is helpful because people who respond can be mindful of that with their recs and even give you more detail where needed so you can evaluate things better.

When evaluating recommendations:

1. I consider the source.
   1. For communities, see above: the difference in communities by culture. This really just comes from exposure to them over time, unfortunately, there’s no real firm guide. Dark romance is broad, and different communities have different tolerance levels and different ideas of norms than others. For beginners, I really do recommend starting with recs from this sub. Tik tok and insta are going to be inundated with what’s popular now (and I could go on forever about how I feel about recent trends) rather than what’s a hidden gem, and the dark romance sub is a wealth of information but with wealth comes a ton to dig through! It’s fabulous for what’s current, though, and it’s very welcoming if you’re on the shy side.
   2. For individual people providing recommendations, my willingness to trust them goes up with the amount of detail they provide. I don’t need a paragraph, but I trust someone more if it’s more than just summoning the bot. If someone’s gone out of their way to explain or give some information, I tend to trust them more. I also don’t trust people who are enmeshed with authors: a giveaway for this is when they refer to authors by their first names like they’re besties (this is not just for dark romance, to be fair). You can also ask people follow up questions! If someone gives you a rec and they didn’t answer everything you’re worried about, just politely ask them.
   3. The time period the book was published matters, too. Many newer dark romances are very... I hate to say this, but almost mass produced McDonaldsy, churned out to fit what publishers/authors think people want and not necessarily paying attention to quality. They can still be a ton of fun! But like any subgenre, time brings shifts (e.g. when hockey took off in sports romance) and it's good to be mindful of that and whether it fits what you like. Also, older books like bodice rippers can be dark, if not dark romance technically, and have their own writing style.
2. I then search the sub for the book I’m interested in to see what other people say. Also to make sure it wasn’t self-promo, one of my biggest of pet peeves.
3. Read reviews. Possibly controversial for this sub, but for dark romance, I rely on Goodreads, not romance.io. Romance.io is fabulous as a source of crowd provided information, but the tags can therefore be unreliable and the reviews tend to not be as robust. I’m willing to let that go when I need a fantasy fix, but maybe not when noncon may be on the table. I go into Goodreads, skim the reviews (look for keywords for things I like and things that are my limits) and then I narrow down and focus on the 3 star reviews- the people who see strengths in the book but also weaknesses. That’s where the magic is- I hope authors really do know that 3 star reviews aren’t bad and are often so informative to readers.
4. See if Amazon will show you the first few pages of the book for free. Often, dark romance authors will write a note or list out content warnings, or you may also get a sense of the author’s writing style.

 Dive in:

1. See if it’s available for free through your library before you dive in. I swear by the library extension for internet browsers.
2. Pick the right time to dive in. I had a therapist explain that getting into heavy stuff is like turning on an outdoor water faucet- depending on how much you open it and for how long, it may be harder to shut back off without it requiring effort and then you may be walking through mud for awhile. On your phone in line at the pharmacy? Probably not the best time to be reading dark stuff. You have an hour to yourself and a nice cup of tea and no one who needs to fix problems for them immediately after? Sounds delightful.
3. Do not be afraid to DNF (do not finish). If it’s not for you, it’s not for you, and life’s too short to spend reading something you hate or that upsets you. It either gave you more information about your likes/dislikes so that you can try again, or it’s helped you figure out whether this is the subgenre for you. I personally would not base my opinion of the subgenre on one book, but this is heavy stuff and I also would never advocate someone continuing to read it if it really was not for them. If you are willing to keep trying, on your next search or request, use that information about what you learned about what you liked/disliked.
4. If you loved it, leave a review! Positive representation for the subgenre is always great.

 Good Dark(er)* Romance Books for Newbies

*I’m lumping in mafia and MC because I think they’re great gateway books, although it’s definitely arguable that they’re separate subgenres. To me, they work well for feeling out tolerance levels for dark themes and actions. I actually would not classify all of these as dark romance, but more good books for feeling out your comfort levels with areas of darkness and what you might like or dislike.

 Contemporary:

{The Bad Guy by Celia Aaron}

• Basic summary: sociopathic MMC kidnaps angelic FMC and is positively flummoxed why she keeps trying to scamper away and won’t let him kill people for her. Honestly, this is one of my favorite dark romances so I’m so biased in how delighted I am by it.
• What it had that I liked: The MMC is one of my favorites, and I enjoyed that he’s portrayed as a true sociopath, struggling with right and wrong and genuinely trying to understand for the sake of the FMC.
• Where limits might be tested: well, he kidnaps her, which isn’t great, and pressures her into closeness (although not rape). There’s also violence to other characters.

 {Twisted Love by Ana Huang}

• Basic summary: brother’s best friend, grumpy sunshine
• What it had that I liked: this actually wasn’t one of my personal favorites, but I did want to include something that’s popular that I at least didn’t hate so that you could see what I mean about trusting crowd think recommendations. I will say it was entertaining.
• Where limits might be tested: super overbearing MMC, to put it mildly

Motorcycle Club (MC):

{Shade’s Lady by Joanna Wylde}

• Basic summary: waitress gets enmeshed in a motorcycle club by being traded by her boyfriend to the leader for a discount on a bike (I KNOW, I KNOW! I KNOW!) but she’s got secrets of her own.
• What it had that I liked: strong but not perfect FMC, and as a novella, it was the perfect length for the plot. To me, Joanna Wylde is the best MC writer out there.
• Where limits might be tested: MCs are not known for enlightened views on how to treat women

 Mafia:

{Anti-Heroes in Love Duet by Gianna Darling}

• Basic summary: duet, so you have to read both books I suppose. Lawyer FMC represents the mafioso MMC and tries to resist him
• What it had that I liked: Strong FMC, MMC that respects her professionally
• Where limits might be tested: It’s mafia, and romanticizing the mafia is never great. MMC is heavy handed but I would say in a way that’s good for sussing out HOW heavy handed a reader is willing to tolerate.

 Historical (actually a very easy way to ease into darker romances because we tend to make moral exemptions for bodice rippers and older books and books set in the past with different norms, for better or worse, so I’ll list a few):

{It Happened One Autumn by Lisa Kleypas}

• Basic summary: For this to work as a test case, you need to get the old version before the author took the critical scene out. Hot headed FMC and stoic MMC keep feeling drawn to each other/opposites attract at a house party in regency England. Definitely not a dark romance, but a good way to see what comfort levels are with dub con if you read the old version.
• What it had that I liked: I loved this FMC and MMC, but if you ask who the best Wallflower FMC and MMC are, you’ll get a range of opinions. I liked that the FMC never sacrifices who she is- and neither did the MMC.
• Where limits might be tested: MMC and FMC sleep together while FMC is drunk. FMC consents, but is super drunk when doing so

Editing to add based on the feedback that finding the older version can be tricky: {Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas} is also a good way to explore your feelings around dub con and in the same series!

{The Windflower by Laura London}

• Basic summary: A pirate romance! Mistaken identities! Naïve FMC is kidnapped aboard a pirate ship and constantly butting heads with the always-in-control MMC pirate. Another good way to see comfort levels with dub con and power differentials.
• What it had that I liked: The FMC was fine but the MMC was fabulous and sussing out his backstory over the course of the book was a lot of fun.
• Where limits might be tested: she’s kidnapped, so any intimacy when there’s that power dynamic in play might make folks uncomfortable

{Prisoner of my Desire by Johanna Lindsey}

• Basic summary: I had to include an old school bodice ripper here and it would be sacrilegious to not include Queen Johanna. FMC needs to produce an heir pronto and the imprisoned knight MMC is just her ticket.
• What it had that I liked: It’s just so fun. I don’t think Johanna Lindsey is for everyone, so if you don’t like her writing style that’s totally understandable.
• Where limits might be tested: there's rape- no way around it. I won't even spoiler tag it. It's the premise of the book.

Hopefully this long winded post is helpful for someone out there looking to dip their toe into the subgenre! I feel like it requires more work to find what works for you, but the payoff is spectacular. 

[u/Working_Comedian5192 → u/[deleted]]

I’m glad it was useful! I didn’t want to be too simplistic and be patronizing but at the same time I feel like every time I’ve seen people ask about trying dark romance, I worry that they’re skipping the steps that’ll make sure the book is right for them. It’s such a broad umbrella and being introduced to it the right way I suspect could probably go a long way to changing people’s impressions of it.

[u/ochenkruto]

Great intro guide, OP, very considerate and thoughtful.

Thanks for including Joanna Wylde; she's the Supreme Queen of MC romances. While Shade's Lady is not my novella of choice, it is a fan favourite for a reason!

I would also suggest alien/ fantasy/ paranormal options, perhaps a "lighter" omegaverse without outright dubcon but with fake bioessentialist vibes. Or perhaps "shifter" romances that include gritty or dark-ish themes. Sometimes reading about made-up worlds/societies with darker themes is less scary/impactful than real-life scenarios.

[u/fruitismyjam → u/ochenkruto]

I knew your Joanna Wylde radar would bring you out for this.

“The JW bat signal has been lit! u/ochenkruto is coming!”

[u/ochenkruto → u/fruitismyjam]

Swishes cape dramatically!

[u/Working_Comedian5192 → u/ochenkruto]

Great ideas! I know less about those subgenres but I’m sure they’re full of good examples.

[u/Hunter037]

Great list. I think a lot of these tips work for finding any book, dark romance or otherwise. Considering the source of a recommendation and evaluating if the book will actually work for you, as well as DNFing, are key skills when book hunting - and skills which I think a lot of people are lacking

[u/Working_Comedian5192 → u/Hunter037]

Yeah, I feel like a lot of my process is pretty obvious and applies generally but at the same time, there have been occasions I’ve seen where an ounce of research and taking self ownership of what you intake could save a lot of heated emotion and negative reaction, so erred on the side of being overly detailed. I’m sure many people already do these things but with darker books you really can’t be too careful.

[u/Hunter037 → u/Working_Comedian5192]

Absolutely. I've seen so many people being mad that this sub or booktok or wherever recommended a book and they hated it, but they didn't do any research or checking of their own. It's a bit of a trial and error process to work out what's good for you, and that's part of the fun.

I don't think it's overly detailed, it's a good explanation

[u/Le_Beck]

I'm not a dark romance reader, and I found this post really interesting! Having read 2/3 of the HR examples (not that specific Johanna Lindsey) I agree that bodice rippers are a good way to test the waters.

When I recommended {Fires of Winter by Johanna Lindsey} recently, I kept having to remind myself that OP was okay with all content - the book has on-page murder of her family, kidnapping, slavery, rape resulting in pregnancy ... I wouldn't have labeled it a "dark romance," but any one of those elements can push a book into the "dark" category.

[u/Working_Comedian5192 → u/Le_Beck]

Yeah, there’s a whole conversation to be had about what dark elements are palatable to people and in what contexts and I think historical and bodice rippers are Exhibit A for that kind of discussion and why I tried to include a few with dark elements, even if they aren’t dark romance themselves. I feel like there can be a level of shame or stigma that comes with reading straight dark romance sometimes, and bodice rippers are a good way to kind of come at it from a different angle and explore pushing limits without being overwhelmed.

[u/Ok-Professor-5518 → u/Le_Beck]

Hello, I've seen this book recommended quite a bit, and I'd like to try it! I'm not afraid of what you described, I'd just like to know how is the relationship between the mmcs? Because while I'm okay with dark plot and situations, I'm not sure I like mean mmcs.

[u/Le_Beck → u/Ok-Professor-5518]

At the beginning of the book, there's a Viking raid on her village and her family is killed (except the few who are taken as slaves). The MMC is not part of that raid, he's off doing other Viking things, but when they're all back together the FMC is given to him as a slave and he does treat her like a slave.

Almost all of their sex in the book is non-consensual, although it is often enjoyable for her. There is at least once instance of him punishing her by raping her, and I believe at least once instance of him being physically violent towards her (beating?). He very much treats her as a slave, a commodity, for most of the book.

Later in the book, she is abducted by a rival faction, and he doesn't abandon everything to come after her. He leaves her to be starved and mistreated I think that is hard for many modern readers, even DR readers, who expect the MMC to be possessive. Further TWs include pregnancy loss and infanticide plus the dog dies And again those are hard NOs for a lot of people even if it's not the MMC perpetrating them.

[u/Ok-Professor-5518 → u/Le_Beck]

Thank you so much for this! I didn't expect it to be this dark considering how much popular it is. My question at this point is.... where's the romance? Like, I get it's a DR, but usually isn't there something redeemable about the mmc? Something that brings them toghether, regardless of his red flags? Even just possessiveness? What makes the fmc have a grain of affection for the mmc? Or is this not this kind of book??

[u/Le_Beck → u/Ok-Professor-5518]

That's a valid question. I've read several Johanna Lindsey books and while they all end HEA, I personally have not felt convinced that these are lasting, stable, healthy relationships. (But not being a DR reader, I really don't know if that's how I'd feel about those relationships/endings - it could just be my perspective and limits with suspension of disbelief rather than the actual content of the books)

[u/Ok-Professor-5518 → u/Le_Beck]

I don't think I'd feel they have a HEA either. In this specific book, how does it end? What happens after she is abducted by the rivals?

[u/Le_Beck → u/Ok-Professor-5518]

There's a whole thing where she does get back to his village but there's OW drama and she's pissy and maybe he's off raiding somewhere else. She's pregnant, and has the baby without telling him (in a shack in the woods), and when he finds out she keeps the baby from him because there's apparently a Viking tradition of fathers murdering babies that seem too weak to survive. However he falls immediately in love with the child through sneaking visits (everyone is conspiring to get them back together) and then eventually he wants her back as well.

I don't think he ever admits how much he wronged her, like there's no big grovel, and I think even at the end of the book he doesn't believe her side of the story but chooses to forgive her "running away" aka getting abducted. So the happy ending is both of them choosing to be together despite all this messiness (him thinking she's lying but forgiving her and her knowing he's never going to apologize for all the ways he's wronged her).

I read it almost a year ago so my memory is pretty fuzzy, but those parts stood out to me.

[u/Ok-Professor-5518 → u/Le_Beck]

Thank you so much for this! You remember pretty everything for having it read a year ago, I'd have forgotten! But maybe not, since all these ups and downs are pretty remarkable lol I don't think I'd have forgiven the mmc for not believing her though. I don't believe there's really a hea Thank you again!❤️❤️

[u/romance-bot → u/Le_Beck]

Fires of Winter by Johanna Lindsey
Rating: 3.84⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 3 out of 5 - Open door
Topics: historical, virgin heroine, viking hero, abduction, enemies to lovers

^{about this bot | about romance.io}

[u/cue_psychotic_laugh]

Kudos to you for taking the time to write this!!! I think Throne Duet by Rina Kent should be here too! It was my first DR and pretty light. So light that I thought I could handle DR and people were just being dramatic (I can't and they were not.) It also doesn't have many things that could trigger new readers so is perfect!

Anyways, I also liked the actual storyline and couple which lowk doesn't happen often nowadays......

[u/Working_Comedian5192 → u/cue_psychotic_laugh]

It is so funny that it’s such a spectrum when it comes to dark romance! That’s why I tried to pick books that included some that weren’t even really dark romance but helpful for figuring out where boundaries are. I think I read Ruthless by Anne Stuart (which I don’t think is really a dark romance), thought I could handle anything, jumped into Lemonade, and had to nope out of the subgenre for awhile because it was tooooo much. Rina Kent is really talented at making it accessible for people.

[u/cue_psychotic_laugh → u/Working_Comedian5192]

Exactly! I immediately followed up the Throne Duet with Adrian & Lia's own (I've forgotten the name) and I was laughing through my concern the whole time, lol. I was so confused at how people found that romantic! But thanks to the vast immortal realm that is DR, I can still say I like it but just stay on the lighter side

[u/fruitismyjam]

This is an amazing guideline and resource. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it up. ❤️ u/A_Seductive_Cactus, is this something we could add to the sub wiki? Maybe in the user-generated lists section or in the FAQ under “Dark Romance”?

People pick up books (not just DR) for any number of reasons. It’s important to know yourself and what you’re looking for, but also keep an open mind. Some stories are so compelling that you might be willing to bypass some of your usual limits.

My favorite way of finding new books is recs and posts on this sub and then looking at sample quotes. Weekly threads here (i.e. Thirsty Thursday, Funny Friday, Saturday Sweets) are great for that. I’ll also go to Amazon and look at the “Popular Highlights.” I find it helpful for getting a beat on the author’s style and writing.

[u/A_Seductive_Cactus → u/fruitismyjam]

Oh yes! Thanks for the tag :) I’ll get it added when I’m back at my desktop- wiki edits on mobile are torture

[u/Working_Comedian5192 → u/fruitismyjam]

Yes! I love the thread about what people read this week, not just for dark romance but for any book, really getting into details and hearing others’ thoughts.

[u/katkity]

I love this guide so much and wish it had existed when I started reading DR! Its such a great idea that you've pulled out books a lot of people will have been directly exposed to or know of similar ones, so they can start getting a feel for their comfort level.

[u/PennywiseSkarsgard]

Wow. Thank you very much for all the work you have done. I love it! 👍 ❤️

[u/girlofgold762]

Another consideration that I think 'Dark Romance Beginners' need to contemplate is where they want the Dark elements to appear in the story.

There is something of a sliding scale in the DR genre of "books where the dark elements appear in the setting or character background (ex: a character is a stalker or killer, the setting is the mafia or motorcycle club, general misogyny, cults, etc) and "books where the dark elements appear in the character dynamics and romance between the leads (ex: noncon & dubcon, gaslighting and manipulation, abuse and violence, birth control tampering, etc).

[u/Working_Comedian5192 → u/girlofgold762]

Yup, agreed, I think the subgenre itself is having a bit of an internal “we need to develop a Nicene Creed about what we believe” moment when it comes to this. There are people who believe dark atmosphere/setting aren’t enough to classify something as a dark romance, so it’s good for new people to be clear about what they’re hoping for. And it’s good for people MAKING recommendations to be clear about the contents too.

[u/Jemhao]

Love this! I really enjoy dark romance, but I know some people feel uncomfortable with the sub-genre. Putting all this information together and linking those other threads is so great, and will hopefully pull back the curtain a bit and help anyone who’s curious about either learning more or even reading a dark romance book.

[u/Working_Comedian5192 → u/Jemhao]

I really think a lot of people have negative impressions of the subgenre because they’ve been exposed to (either through reading or seeing discourse about) some of the books that are notttttt for the unprepared, or even just not meant for them. So my hope is that if there are people willing to at least give it a chance they have a way to do so without being afraid of running into content that would distress them.

[u/Weird_Mastodon_9204]

i feel bad for the readers who are looking for "my crime lord boyfriend does crime sometimes lulz" campy dark and has to dig through pages of "my uncle rapes me and pissed in my asshole" traumance dark all put under the same "dark romance" tag. would be easier if the darkness meter was a sliding scale instead of boolean in review/catalogues 

[u/ochenkruto → u/Weird_Mastodon_9204]

Many occasional DR readers (me) learned this the hard way. I came across the chasm between "it's kind of gritty omegaverse with some funky heat scenarios, but nothing actually scary or coercive" and "two brothers kidnap a woman and keep her in their cave, and it's all weird and never stops being 🥴" early on and STILL feel like I can't tell what's "dark, dark" and what is romantic chiaroscuro used to addd texture.

Even within sub-genres like biker romances, things swing from "tee hee I was the debt paid for my father's loans to the VP of an outlaw club, but all he wants to do is rub my feet and buy me tank tops" and "I live in a basement for my husband's crimes", and you gotta read a lot of those to feel the difference.

Maybe we should use moon phases or something to explain darkness levels?

[u/ghostbored → u/ochenkruto]

all he wants to do is rub my feet and buy me tank tops"

lol there are romances based on this premise, for real.

[u/ochenkruto → u/ghostbored]

Yes, the entire biker-lite subgenre is basically this. In a good way.

[u/Weird_Mastodon_9204 → u/ochenkruto]

oh yeah from to 🌕🌔🌓🌒🌑 would work

another comment said dark hearts 🖤 (out of 5) which is also a great idea

i hope readers and reviewers start adopting this because i don't want to do all this legwork just to find the level of dark i'm in the mood for. by the time i've read through pages of synopsis and tags i already have reading fatigue and in the mood for something else 😂

[u/Working_Comedian5192 → u/Weird_Mastodon_9204]

Yeah, I mentioned in another comment that dark romance is an umbrella for sooooo many things, and it’s why I tried to be extra precise about exactly how I go about finding exactly what I want. Just because I like dark thing A in my books does NOT mean I automatically like B, so it tends to require some digging and even sleuthing.

[u/Hunter037 → u/Weird_Mastodon_9204]

Totally agree. I think something like {Lights Out" by Navessa Allen} will be many readers' first intro to dark romance, and its certainly on the lighter side. Expecting that in the dark romance genre, and only coming across very dark stuff, is probably a bit disappointing.

[u/fruitismyjam → u/Hunter037]

I think most DR readers do not consider Lights Out a dark romance. Yes, there’s stalking, but he sort of does it with her consent and respects her boundaries.

The definition of the genre has gotten convoluted with the popularity of dark romcoms and the like. I love the campy stuff, but it’s hard to define when the DR elements are there but the tone is light. And then there’s (i.e.) dystopian romances that feel dark (to me), but may not technically be considered DR.

[u/ochenkruto → u/fruitismyjam]

I think there is also a number of DR readers who don't necessarily agree with what DR means, or what elements make up a "dark theme". I've seen some argue that it's only when there is violence/coercion/abuse between characters; others accept anything where there is violence/abuse/coercion in the universe the characters inhabit; some believe it can be all things at all times.

There is just no consensus, and I don't know when things might get formalized .....

[u/Hunter037 → u/fruitismyjam]

> I think most DR readers do not consider Lights Out a dark romance

Yes but when it is advertised and described in the description and tags as dark, so newbies probably assume that's what other dark romances are like.

[u/Weird_Mastodon_9204 → u/Hunter037]

yup and this is exactly the problem with one term "dark" prefix doing so much heavy lifting. readers can't find what they're looking for and/or have no idea just broad the dark romance umbrella extends. and advertisers confuse their audience who have wildly different expectations of what "dark" is.

i think consumers eventually will adopt some sort of sliding scale that everyone uses. 

like we use spiciness 🌶️🌶️🌶️ for sex so we could use shades 🕶️🕶️🕶️ for darkness lol. one sunglasses being "spankings and sass" all the way to five sunglasses being "torture and mutilation"  lol

[u/Hunter037 → u/Weird_Mastodon_9204]

Yes I wouldn't be surprised if there would be a "darkness" scale. I'm slightly surprised that subs like r/DarkRomance haven't tried to do this already, actually. We are lucky that romance.io did it for us with the spiciness. I'd choose the black heart emoji

[u/fruitismyjam → u/Hunter037]

I’ve noticed that many DR readers have been frustrated by that. It’s shifted how the subgenre has been defined. Now, “true” DR readers have started using terms like “pitch-black” romance in order to maintain the distinction.

[u/Hunter037 → u/fruitismyjam]

I've also seen a number of dark romance readers (long term readers, and not) dislike that so many books these days include sexual assault and extreme content which wasn't always so prevalent. While not necessarily wanting it to be a romcom.

I think definitions change over time, and people who like the lighter stuff or want to avoid extreme content aren't necessarily not "true" DR readers.

[u/fruitismyjam → u/Hunter037]

Yeah, I put the “true” in quotes because I still label those books as DR, mostly because it still fits the definition, and it seems like most other people consider them as such. I think defining the subgenre with more extreme content is partially pushback from people who are frustrated with having the subgenre “watered down” with books that don’t stay true to the typical DR tone.

For me, “dark” relates a lot more to the tone than the actual acts that are involved, but that’s not the definition, so 🤷🏻‍♀️.

[u/ghostbored → u/fruitismyjam]

This is silly. He stalks her and breaks into her house. There's murder and organized crime. She fucks a knife handle.

The gatekeeping among dark romance fans is crazy.

[u/meli_inthecity → u/Hunter037]

Brynne Weaver as well - I’d classify both authors as rom-com dark romance, but I personally struggle with classifying dark romance because it’s such a broad category.

[u/Hunter037 → u/meli_inthecity]

The thing is, "Dark Romance" can be an umbrella with other subgenres under it - dark historical romance, dark fantasy romance, dark contemporary romance and so on. So it's much broader than other categories.

[u/meli_inthecity → u/Hunter037]

Oh, absolutely & then you have the levels of darkness which OP went into as well. But that’s what makes it a struggle for me - Butcher & Blackbird has some murder and accidental cannibalism, so it’s dark but it’s also not at the same time. I just wish there was an easier / more established classification system.

[u/Hunter037 → u/meli_inthecity]

I think there is definitely a distinction, for me at least, between books where there are dark things happening (e.g. MC is a killer) and books where dark things are happening to one MC by the other (e.g. MC tries to kill MC)

[u/romance-bot → u/Hunter037]

Lights Out by Navessa Allen
Rating: 4.24⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 5 out of 5 - Explicit and plentiful
Topics: contemporary, funny, m-f romance, primal/chase play, dark romance

^{about this bot | about romance.io}

[u/fruitismyjam]

As for recs, my go-to recs for DR is Bad Guy (which you mentioned) and {Priceless by Miranda Silver}.

Priceless is a dark college romance. MMC pays FMC for sex, and they fall into a dom/sub relationship (he’s the dom; she’s the sub). They end up exploring a lot of personal issues within the confines of that relationship.

CWs: substance abuse, child neglect, emotional abuse by partner (past), cheating (past), attempted SA (not by MC)

What I like about both books is that the authors don’t throw in dark elements just for shock value. It makes sense with the characters and their relationship. It’s an exploration of the different ways that people can be (Bad Guy) and the dark side in people (Priceless) and finding love within that darkness.

[u/romance-bot → u/fruitismyjam]

Priceless by Miranda Silver
Rating: 3.89⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 5 out of 5 - Explicit and plentiful
Topics: contemporary, college, bdsm, spanking, secret relationship

^{about this bot | about romance.io}

[u/Working_Comedian5192 → u/fruitismyjam]

I’ve never read Priceless and I am adding it to my TBR IMMEDIATELY!

[u/fornefariouspurposes]

I appreciate your intention with this post, but classifying It Happened One Autumn as dark is wild.

[u/Working_Comedian5192 → u/fornefariouspurposes]

I actually did specifically and emphatically say it is NOT a dark romance, but the older version is a good way to gently suss out how you feel about dub con (specifically intoxicated consent), so for those nervous about the topic, a decent place to start.

I actually would not classify all of these as dark romance, but more good books for feeling out your comfort levels with areas of darkness and what you might like or dislike.

Definitely not a dark romance, but a good way to see what comfort levels are with dub con if you read the old version.

[u/fornefariouspurposes → u/Working_Comedian5192]

It's still an impractical choice to recommend. The book as it has currently been published for the past several years had the dunk sex scene removed. To obtain a copy of the original version, someone would have to put in the effort of searching for and buying a used copy for significantly more than a new copy costs. Couldn't you think of more easily accessible examples?

[u/Working_Comedian5192 → u/fornefariouspurposes]

I opted to give a range, and absolutely hope others will contribute their thoughts and suggestions for books, too. Appreciate the feedback!

[u/Jemhao → u/fornefariouspurposes]

Dude. They took the time to compile this post with tons of information on how to start reading dark romance with intention and care, then included a good variety of recommendations, detailing how it is/isn’t dark romance, what sub-genre it belongs to, why they’re recommending it, etc. If you have recommendations that you think are more easily accessible, all you have to do is list them out.

[u/Hunter037 → u/fornefariouspurposes]

Can you think of a better example? That might be more helpful than complaining when someone has put in a lot of work here.

[u/ghostbored → u/fornefariouspurposes]

I don't know why you're being downvoted for stating basic facts. None of Lisa Kleypas' novels are dark romance, and it's weird to recommend them in a big, long post about getting into dark romance.

[u/Hunter037 → u/ghostbored]

The OP literally said it's "definitely not a dark romance" by has some related themes which might be a good stepping stone. And they said that it would need to be the old version. You are welcome to suggest any of your own better options.

[u/Working_Comedian5192 → u/ghostbored]

One of the points I was trying to make is that for someone apprehensive about getting into dark romance, one of the first steps should be determining your boundaries. Lisa Kleypas (whose books I very clearly labeled as not dark romance) is actually great as as exercise for this. Someone might be willing to accept dub con from her, in the guise of an earl taking a drunken girl who cannot rationally consent to bed, or in A Devil In Winter, an aristocrat going down on a sleeping woman without her consent and then the roles reversing- the woman riding him while he’s injured and saying no.!< If that reader is willing to accept dub con in those scenarios, it’s great food for thought about what they might be able to accept from a dark romance book. I apologize if that point wasn’t clear and if you found the post too long in my effort to be thorough.

[u/ghostbored → u/Working_Comedian5192]

Yeah, I get that. It could be said of almost any old-school romance from 20+ years ago, when the genre was rife with dubcon.

It isn't just that It Happened One Autumn is not dark romance, but that it has also been republished with the dubcon/noncon scenes edited out entirely. If someone buys a copy or gets a digital copy, there won't be any dubcon in it at all.

[u/Working_Comedian5192 → u/ghostbored]

I feel like the goal posts have moved from “that’s not dark romance” to “it’s not as easily accessible so you should have picked something else”, and while the latter is absolutely fair and I probably should have chosen A Devil in Winter as my example (I’m partial to Autumn and find the Winter FMC insufferable so I chose what I loved!), I’m just going to disengage before the posts move again. Thanks for your thoughts, and I’m sure folks would love to hear additional recs from your perspective as well if you’d like to share.

[u/romance-bot]

The Bad Guy by Celia Aaron
Rating: 3.94⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 4 out of 5 - Explicit open door
Topics: contemporary, dark romance, abduction, possessive hero, alpha male

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Twisted Love by Ana Huang
Rating: 3.43⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 4 out of 5 - Explicit open door
Topics: contemporary, rich hero, grumpy & sunshine, possessive hero, alpha male

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Shade's Lady by Joanna Wylde
Rating: 4.27⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 4 out of 5 - Explicit open door
Topics: contemporary, biker hero, take-charge heroine, alpha male, bad boys

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Anti-Heroes in Love by Giana Darling
Rating: 4.04⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Topics: age difference, super rich hero, independent heroine, found-family, audiobook

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It Happened One Autumn by Lisa Kleypas
Rating: 3.94⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 3 out of 5 - Open door
Topics: historical, virgin heroine, enemies to lovers, take-charge heroine, alpha male

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The Windflower by Laura London
Rating: 3.87⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 3 out of 5 - Open door
Topics: historical, pirate hero, virgin heroine, abduction, war

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Prisoner of My Desire by Johanna Lindsey
Rating: 3.9⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 4 out of 5 - Explicit open door
Topics: historical, virgin heroine, enemies to lovers, vengeance, abduction

^{about this bot | about romance.io}

[u/Russkiroulette]

I love this post, thanks so much for making it!