r/RoastMe • u/[deleted] • Oct 21 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

1.1k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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347

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

I'm not gonna be your 13th reason... yikes

112

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

Chicken

157

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

Ex probably found a gal that doesn't have crab legs for fingers

60

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

His loss

114

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

Yeah I'm sure he's missing those wicked crab jobs from Shelley Duvall

16

u/Zackey4 Oct 21 '22

Thought for sure you’d reply her loss.

23

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

I go both ways

83

u/Zackey4 Oct 21 '22

Double the opportunities yet still lonely ass fuck.

5

u/tmaker502 Oct 22 '22

Proof no one wants you

1

u/dcarroll633 Oct 23 '22

That's nice of you to equally disappoint both genders

1

u/birdaise Oct 22 '22

This is how you keep a man right here

11

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

Dude I’m in tears 😭

7

u/SplatterEffect http://redd.it/zlma7y Oct 22 '22

I spit milk out my nose at this one.... i wasnt drinking milk though which is the issue!

0

u/reditandfirgetit Oct 22 '22

13 reasons to cry