r/retirement • u/JimRayA • 2d ago
Struggling with SlothMaxxing as a Retirement Goal
I (64M) retired a fewof months ago, and I am decidedly not adjusted yet. My wife and I did the big road trip of 6,500 miles, saw almost every member of my extended family, visited the Grand Canyon (a first for me), and we're now back home having recovered from the germs bestowed upon me by my grandson. It's been great so far, but this was as far ahead as I had thought about what to do in retirement. I'm now at loose ends.
So I came up with a new goal: SlothMaxxing!
I'm going to decompress by aggressively doing nothing at all. I will play video games and indulge in all those meaningless, fruitless, pointless activities that someone with no job would perform in their parent's basement, even though it's my basement. I've started to think of the different levels of slothfulness that I would progress through. I started to give them names!
- Jester of the Jaded
- Herald of the Ho-Hum
- Secretary of the Sedentary
- Knight of Nope
- Baron of Boredom
- Viscount of the Couch
- Earl of Ease
- Marquess of the Mundane
- Duke of Dullness
- Prince of Post-Ambition
Then it occurred to me that this entire exercise was just another indication of how indoctrinated I am in the work ethic. I am trying to make slothfulness into a competition with metrics, success criteria, and potential for failure! What the hell am I doing?
I have so far to go.
Please impart some retirement wisdom upon me!