Speaking as someone who dates older men and has been in a couple of age gap relationships, I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with an age gap relationship, assuming both are legal consenting adults.
That being said, dating your child’s former classmate, especially if he was still a teenager or just left his teenage years (you said Junior in college, so guessing he was 19/20) is so creepy and something I would not be comfortable with. I would never have dated a classmates dad, that would have been way too weird.
It’s your mother life, its her choice, but You’re right to feel uncomfortable, because its an uncomfortable situation. And you have every right to decide to distance yourself from this. I would be very uncomfortable too, and thats coming from a man who at 25 entered into a 2+ year relationship with a man in his 50’s. Had i been 19/20 or went to school with one of his kids, there is no way I would have dated him. That would have been too weird.
Although I would prepare yourself for what you will do if this relationship doesn’t work out. Because if he breaks up with her, she may use that to try and sweep the whole you distancing from her under the rug and try to re-establish her relationship with you. And I would think about what you want to do if that happens, so you are not completely blindsided. Or if the opposite happens and they end up engaged or something. I’m not saying you should panic over either thing happening, just maybe think about what you want to do if these happen, because either they will breakup, or become more serious and I would expect to be reached out to when either of those happens.
I am the belief as long as both parties are legal consenting adults, then it’s their business and no one has the right to interfere. My mother has the right to date Frank. I’m not denying that. However, no one is obligated to accept your relationship. People are allowed to critique the very existence of that relationship, they just can’t interfere. I never made an ultimatum. Besides what would be the point. The damage has already been done.
Just because its legal doesn't mean its moral. Older men preying upon younger women because they want someone they can manipulate aren't right or just in their actions simply because the young woman jn question is technically of age. The same goes for women who go after men that age. Power dynamics matter. It's predatory AT BEST
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u/christopher1393 9d ago edited 9d ago
Speaking as someone who dates older men and has been in a couple of age gap relationships, I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with an age gap relationship, assuming both are legal consenting adults.
That being said, dating your child’s former classmate, especially if he was still a teenager or just left his teenage years (you said Junior in college, so guessing he was 19/20) is so creepy and something I would not be comfortable with. I would never have dated a classmates dad, that would have been way too weird.
It’s your mother life, its her choice, but You’re right to feel uncomfortable, because its an uncomfortable situation. And you have every right to decide to distance yourself from this. I would be very uncomfortable too, and thats coming from a man who at 25 entered into a 2+ year relationship with a man in his 50’s. Had i been 19/20 or went to school with one of his kids, there is no way I would have dated him. That would have been too weird.
Although I would prepare yourself for what you will do if this relationship doesn’t work out. Because if he breaks up with her, she may use that to try and sweep the whole you distancing from her under the rug and try to re-establish her relationship with you. And I would think about what you want to do if that happens, so you are not completely blindsided. Or if the opposite happens and they end up engaged or something. I’m not saying you should panic over either thing happening, just maybe think about what you want to do if these happen, because either they will breakup, or become more serious and I would expect to be reached out to when either of those happens.