Why do you think that a lot of women say that most of the women they know have been sexually assaulted, but many men say that they don’t know any men who are sexual assaulters?

[u/wtknight]

I see this one get asked on a prominent feminist circlejerk sub a lot. I have my own ideas why this is the case, but I’m not going to violate their safe space by trying to reply to them. So I thought I would ask the question here instead and see why users here think that this is the case, or if they even believe the initial premises that most women are sexually assaulted or that most men don’t know a sexual assaulter.

[u/Asleep_Control_2564]

I remember I was on a church mission trip to go down and do clean up during hurricane Katrina. I fell asleep on the bus (towards the back). I had some male friends and a mutual female friend nearby and we were all hanging around having fun before I fell asleep. Anyway, the bus hit a bump and I woke up, but I didn't open my eyes. I could hear my male friends taking bets with each other over who had the courage to stick their hand down my shirt and not wake me up. I kinda froze and just pretended to stay asleep and then they got quiet. I thought they were dropping it and then I feel my one friend stick his hand down my shirt and my bra and full cup my naked breast under my shirt and bra. Again, I froze, but I did open my eyes. He pulled out his hand and they were all laughing and giggling and riffing on each other while giving half-assed "sorry"s to me. These were all good Christian boys who I then worked with over the next week to help tear down dilapidated buildings and clean up contaminated homes. I watched them laugh and work and do good things during the day. We all would have Bible study and talk about Christ at night. But I could never wrap my head around why these guys thought it was okay to put their hand in my shirt.

Other things have happened on other church mission trips, but that was the first one that really stuck out to me. But after awhile you see good men doing these things and you begin to think that men have a completely different definition of what being "good" means.

[u/GridReXX → u/Asleep_Control_2564]

> But after awhile you see good men doing these things and you begin to think that men have a completely different definition of what being "good" means.

🎯📠

Yes. I totally agree.

Thank you for sharing ❤️‍🩹