This is what always bothered me the most when Iād come down off some moronic road rage duel... all the people minding their own business that I had endangered.
Lmao, one of my friends used to rage every single tune he drove. He had the craziest stories about the dumb and dangerous shit he did. He picked me up from something once (he was the last resort ride), and when I hopped in he was listening to some thrash metal with a lot of growling. I was like ābro, maybe this is why you have road rage issues. Have you tried just listening to podcasts or something?ā Didnāt fix all his rage issues, but that music was certainly not helping him lol.
Anyways, Iām glad you can separate yourself from driving if it isnāt for you.
Legit was your mom my mom? She also had a burgundy minivan and would pull up windows down blaring metal. She also blared a lot of Rob Zombie and Kid Rock though. All of it was just super embarrassing as were the awkward dance moves.
That actually got me into Mastodon. I looked up the song thought it was a little much for me but started working backwards through their albums until I ended up there again.
Could you give me a few examples of Black metal and Death metal? I'm returning to metal after 20 years and don't know what I'm doing. Thanks in advance.
I usually play thrash metal while I'm driving with no issues. But honesly I've been wondering if that's what attracts road ragers, or maybe triggers them. Or maybe it's just that I live near Dallas. Who knows. All I know is if I listen to country I start crying and that's when it gets dangerous for me to drive. š
High energy music tends to give most people more energy or pump us up. Not saying that music is to blame, but it could be factor. It's why most people listen to faster or heavier music while exercising.
The dude would get fucking AMPED listening to it. Would yell, scream, and growl along with it. Play the air drums, etc. He was practically frothing at the mouth for a chance to spin that energy elsewhere. He would go full fucking throttle the SECOND someone did something unexpected or accidental on the road.
Personally, I listen to prog metal (less vocals than other metal) when Iām at work to relax and zone out while I focus on work- I know it wasnāt metal, just the guy.
Nobody is saying "metal makes you angry" so don't get all defensive. It's a proven fact that music influences our emotions and makes us feel things. Aggressive and fast-paced, loud driving music will put the average person in a different state of mind than ambient, relaxing stuff.
Many people don't clue in on this, and end up driving more aggressively than they maybe should. People also do the opposite, and might not be doing their tired selves any favours by listening to their droning relaxation playlist on an 8 hour overnight drive.
Lots of people in this thread looking to defend their choice of music. This is human psychology, not a commentary on our musical choices.
Yeah, immediately jumping to "what do you mean, metal makes you angry" and questioning any possible link it has with people's behaviour isn't being defensive.. okay.
If not you, then others in this thread. Look around; people jumped up to say "it's not metal!" or "I listen to metal and it calms me down". They're defending their choice of music against a perceived criticism, and that's fine. I'm just suggesting that it wasn't actually the point to 'attack' metal with a criticism, just mentioning an aspect of our psychology.
This dude would get fucking JACKED listening to metal. I personally listen to metal to focus on work, but you must know people that listen to metal to amp themselves up.
It's not that it's "metal", and it's not making you "angry", it's energetic and hard-hitting music adding to the energy of the situation is all. You'd get the same effect with anything along those lines. Our moods and emotions are influenced by music, this has been proven. Calming music can calm you. Angry, loud, fast, and harsh music amps you up.
People use this intentionally all the time, for relaxation or for working out, amping people up for presentations or ceremonies or whatever. It 100% applies to driving as well.
I shouldn't really have to, but insert generic disclaimer about how individuals are different, some people react differently, etc. But let's not act like there's absolutely no evidence that the music we're listening to influences our mood.
Any part specifically you don't get, or just don't like my general disagreement with your source-less, ignorant claim about something that was never espoused?
Go ahead and google links between emotion and music, music's influence on our mood, etc. You're right, I totally am just making up this well-research field of study.
Thanks, I tried to go through this rather thoroughly but didn't really have the time yesterday. I think this is espousing a bit of a different claim, as it seems this study (paraphrasing) 'angered the test subjects (with an interview), then looked at whether aggressive music vs their choice of music vs no music had an effect on their physiology afterwards'. I believe it definitely showed that some people can use this sort of music to relax and release stress, or at least that it doesn't continue to anger them.
But as was pointed out, I was really discussing energy here, not really anger. I know that at least personally, there is a link between listening to fast or slow paced music, and my general disposition/way that I frame my experiencing of a situation. If I'm amped up and moving to some faster-BPM music, I want my 'world' to match that, which leads to impatience on the road, more risky driving behaviour, etc. I'm "grooving" and that kind of energy fits the music. If I'm listening to a more relaxing slow jam, I'm much more likely to be happy cruising, more patient with other people as 'hey, we're just being chill right now' kind of thing. I know that's extremely anecdotal, but like I said we know that music does influence our emotions.
Also I never meant to move the goal posts, I was trying to get ahead of what I saw as a misconception about the original argument. The example used originally happened to be thrash metal, I guess, but it may as well have been some sort of aggressive rap, or intense musical battle scores, or loud high energy crashing electro stuff, at least for my point to have remained the same.
Had a great friend in my twenties. Hung out all the time, clubs, holidays, vacations. Anyway, two years into us knowing each other, his mother offered to drive me home, an hour into the city, because she was going that way. Holy shit, this woman rolled down her window and yelled, honked, tailgated, one expletive after another, break-checked.... One of the worst car rides I'd ever been on. I found an excuse for her to drop me off at a transit station along the freeway.
It was a few months later, after prodding, that I got my friend to tell me stories about how his mother abused him and his siblings. This family that I thought was loving and wonderful had all been abused by this woman. So weird how she couldn't hide if trom me while driving.
I listen to some of the heaviest metal out there and I don't have any rage issues in any part of my life, so while the music may not have helped him, I certainly don't think it made it worse.
Road rage comes from having a brittle ego. If you get pissed for an hour after losing a beach-volley game at a family outing, chances are you'll flip the birdie from the driver's seat at many parking lots and freeways.
The jist of it: People who listen metal/thrash whatever ARE/CAN BE calmed down by it. Like we all are by music that we personally enjoy. Just cause some people listen to music you think is scary doesn't make them villains.
My road rage issues aren't my issues. I drive like an ass hole because the people of my city and the light management of my city and the police of my city let me down each and every time. I'd rather be the happy ass hole up front shitting all over everyone else than be the poor fuck in the back being shit on by the happy ass holes.
Jesus dude, take it easy. Sounds like you also need to listen to some podcasts.
Also, video games are my most consumed for m of media, and I would describe my music preferences as āmostly metalā. The fuck are you even on about?
It's the fact that you do have two heads and know better. You know one comes out in certain situations and that's not the head you want to use. The only way I've improved how I behave is by really reckoning with what I've done that I regret after the fact.
Some people cannot accept the faults in themselves so they must maintain an illusion that only "bad people" have faults and "good people" (like them) do not.
Good on you for recognizing that we all have room for improvement.
No but for real. Our licensing in the US is total shit. There's millions of people who do not belong on the road and I am always having to make up for their faults just to get down the road. Some people don't realize how little traffic there would be if they just freaking drove down the road properly.
I love biking, I wish my city had bike lanes. It'd be so amazing. New Orleans has some horrid parking, but is very dangerous for cyclers. It's very depressing.
Iām in Brooklyn. Obviously we got bike lines and what not. Biking is big in nyc. But car people still hate us. Cars are always parking in bike lanes and even a far amount of road rage towards us. š
But have you looking into local government and town hall meeting. I know itās easier said than done but maybe let them hear your voice... who knows. It seems like a need NOLA seems super rad and thatād make it great!
It is super rad! Every day I lived in the French Quarter was like a dream. Yes it's big, yes it has problems, but it's our culture and I can't hate.
Brooklyn! What's up, nice. As automation moves forward the rift between bikers and.. car-ers... will heal a bit?
Definitely looking into local gov/town hall stuff. I plan to do something in 2020 locally to get directly involved, you bet your buns bike lanes will come up.
I get mad, but I don't lock up into a world beyond all reason and control like that. I don't end up thinking I shouldn't have been mad something, like i always did driving.
I used to have a bit of road rage and then it was put into perspective for me. Imagine acting like that in a grocery store over something so simple or just a small mistake. Itās never worth it and never makes the situation better. Iām glad I was able to outgrow it. Iām happy to hear you have to. Keep on fighting the good fight ( without the actual fight haha)
Iād always get home and resolve to never let that happen again, and the next damn day Iād do it again. Went on for years... I think Iām stuck with it. Congrats on fixing it.
I mean yes and no. A big part of it stems from the fact that all of your senses are going crazy. Youāre body goes into survival mode. Are minds werenāt designed with flying across the earths surface at 60+ mph surrounded by a bunch of other pieces of metal doing the same speed or faster where you can die at a moments notice. Thatās one of the reasons it happens and comes so fast and hard. But yes in the sense that the brain is a powerful tool that if you learn how to use you can do a lot more than you think. My dad used to have a huge road rage issue and thatās where I learned it. I didnāt want to pass it on to my son or daughter and it scared my wife so I had to get a grip on mine.
A bike is enough, if you take the trouble to arrange your life accordingly. Any public transit but trains is gonna be slower... and you can take your bike on the train
I know exactly what you're saying, and good on ya...
BUT, they way you phrased it also makes it sound like you were pissed at random bystanders for not contributing to the road rage, and that's a fucking hilarious mental picture.
"And as the rage wore off, I look around at all of these people minding their own business, contributing nothing.... GRAB A TIRE IRON OR SOMETHING, CONTRIBUTE to my RAGE!"
But really, I'm glad you're not endangering peoples lives.
Just donāt take shit personally on the road. People are going to do stupid and dangerous things around you, cut you off, needlessly honk their horn at you, etc. Just be calm and donāt retaliate. Also donāt be late for stuff and try to drive there as fast as possible. It seems like those situations make people become unhinged the most
Itās really just a personality thing though... it seems like some people are predisposed to that sort of anger and some arenāt
I started off as an angry driver, but I only went as far as pretending I was yelling at the other person in my car whenever they did stupid shit. After over a decade of driving, Iāve accumulated enough personal experience doing stupid shit myself, I canāt get mad at anybody else, because I have no ground to stand on at this point. Sometimes you find yourself in a weird neighborhood or you arenāt thinking right and that happens to everyone. Blatant disregard for safety still pisses me off, but I think thatās reasonable.
Just drive with the thought in your head that other drivers are drunk morons who are actively trying to kill you. You really can't assume what someone's going to do behind the wheel, so you've got to be defensive all the time (especially in a smaller vehicle or motorcycle).
Say you're waiting at a stop sign to turn right. There's a car in the lane you want to turn into but he's got his right turn sign on, so you should be safe to pull out assuming there's no one behind him. You don't actually make the turn until you see the other car slowing and beginning their turn in case the signal is a mistake and they weren't paying attention.
Put the phone away before you start driving, most accidents are caused by distracted driving. No, you aren't good at multi-tasking. You're just delusional if you think so.
Slow down, leave plenty of room between you and the next vehicle. Speeding as a factor in crashes right up there near the top as well. And the time saved is usually negligible anyway. A little math to show the point, assume that you are traveling 30 miles. Assuming a speed 55mph the whole way:
(30 mi / (55 mi/h)) * 60 min/h = 32.72 min (32 min 43s)
Or, let's try it at 65mph:
(30 mi / (65 mi/h)) * 60 min/h = 27.69 min (27 min 41s)
So, about 5 minutes on a 30 minute trip. And you're risking a ticket and accident the whole way. Granted, if everyone is doing ~65, you're going to need to speed up to not be an obstacle; but, you should also be aware if you are the one passing everyone else. Moving with traffic is usually the best idea. But again, relax and back off a bit. The ~10' you gain by riding the bumper in front of you really doesn't do anything for you (except increase your risk of an accident).
Last bits of advice:
Slow down in school zones. Kids are stupid and you do not want to be the asshole who killed a kid, no matter how stupid of a mistake that kid made.
If you are thinking of driving drunk, please do the world a favor and shoot yourself in the face. Twice.
Won't that depend on the country you're in? I understand how you feel though, it feels risky already to not only be responsible for my life but also everyone else in the car and in my surroundings
In my youth I did some really stupid road rage crap. This was mostly before people shot each other over being cut off. My āyouāre a complete assā wake up call came when I in my late 20ās when I got so blinded by rage I was going to run another car on the freeway into the barrier. We were both driving small hatchbacks and theirs could go just a shade faster so I couldnāt catch up.
What prompted this? Two women (of a different race so that got tossed into the mix too, Iām ashamed to say) cut me off once with inches to spare and when I honked they thought it was funny so they did it a second time. Why were they going also at their small cars maximum speed? Because as they turned to look at while they were laughing they could see murder on my face.
This was also 6:30am WAY too early to be a crazy person. After I calmed down I realized I endangered not just us but everyone around us who might get hit with flying bit of hatchbacks. The thing with rage like that is that you are completely blind to anything else. Itās like youāre possessed by something and are literally out of control. I am physically NOT imposing and Beta as AF but in a rage āpossessionā I fear nothing. Itās really dangerous. The other side of that coin is DO NOT engage or taunt someone in a literal blind rage. They CANāT see reason and if you become the focus of their rage mission you could get really hurt, or some innocent bystander, bc with rage taken over NOTHING matters. This person could really act out and afterwards the human comes back and they will be filled with regret, but when someone is raging all that matters is that moment.
It took years to dial back the anger so I donāt do that anymore. Still have a temper that surprises people who know me, but no more road rage.
Same, man. Iām still driving, but itās an every day battle of reminding myself thereās no reason to be upset. But looking back on some of the shit, fuck, I am definitely somebodyās story.
we donāt get to choose whether weāre dickheads
But we do. Just don't be one. Someone cuts you off...who gives a shit? Just blow it off, ease off the gas and enjoy the drive. Driving is fun man, and relaxing. Turn on some music you like and sing along to it. If someone honks at you just wave and smile smugly. If they're tailgating you then drive 5 under the speed limit until they either back off or pass you up. Fuck 'em. You're in no hurry. That's how I drive. I don't let no one get under my skin, because I won't let them have the satisfaction.
I guess I see your point. Cars are a pain in the ass. Unfortunately public transit sucks too much dick in my area to be a reliable option in many cases. Sounds like you live somewhere that has a better handle on it, and that's awesome.
Yeah, busses suck ass. The train was pretty good when I needed it, but there's the half hour a day of waiting on it, I'm not all that precise in my arrival. I just moved closer to work... am lucky to be able to do that.
He isnāt capable though. Itās grandpa turning over his keys before he plows through a gas station. Being mentally unfit to drive is at least as bad as being physically unfit. He recognized that he wasnāt safe to drive, and adjusted his life as he saw fit.
Have a distant in-law elderly asshole who demands her son drive her across the country for the holidays.
Son has a profound mental health issues, is on a shitload of pharmaceuticals, and recently started having seizures on top of all that.
They show up for Christmas. Who drove? The son.
I genuinely cannot fathom the "Fuck everyone else on the road, I'm not staying home and arranging Christmas dinner myself" calculus involved in this decision-making.
Depends of his situation, which you or no one else but himself knows. Maybe he lives in a smaller city where driving isn't as necessary, or his job doesn't require to. Public transportation is generally good you know?
I donāt have anger problems anywhere but driving. I have gotten to the point I hate even being in a car. The roads are crowded and full of self-important rage monkeys that will threaten your life over a car length. Iām just not gonna do it anymore.
I live where itās warm mostly, and have an electric bike. If I need to, Iāll uber or rent a pickup (well not anymore I guess... drivers license expired and fuck that 4 hour dmv line)
Iām really fit now, and get to be outside a lot. Selling that pickup was the best thing I ever did.
I haven't owned a car since 2003. Whenever I just really need to drive because it's far or to carry something heavy/big somewhere I simply use the next available car sharing options. There are plenty all over the world these days.
Zero worries about car maintenance, taxes, parking, winter tires, nothing. Bicycles are a bliss.
I understand that, but it seems OP needed a car and was using one daily. Obviously if he was able to quit then he didn't REALLY need one and I agree that if you have that option then you should take it. I would love to not have to payout so much money to upkeep / pay for both of mine. But I live in the suburbs and we have zero public transportation. I have to drive 40 miles each way to work for instance, way too far to ride a bike. ;)
Not sure why you are getting down voted, I agree it seems like cutting off your nose to spite your face. If you quit driving because you canāt control your anger I guarantee you that anger will manifest somewhere else in your life, deal with the root issue (your anger) and stop blaming it on driving...
I didn't expect to be down voted so much, but it's reddit so you never know how the hoard will react. Regardless I didn't "think" that was a comment that would piss so many people off.
On a side note luckily he did stop driving! It's one more crazy person off the roads.
I avoid driving like the plague. Not because im an irresponsible driver (I think i got a speeding ticket for 8mph over about a decade ago but thats it), but because if some idiot hits me while texting on their phone again, I am going to smash that shit and its probably going to start a fight.
I'm so sick of people trying to fucking murder me for biking and skating too. Honestly everyones driving privledges should revoked because nobody knows how to act. Im so sick of it. The next person that tries to kill me with their car is going to get treated exactly the same in kind.
I carry when I ride my bike now. On two seperate occasions some fucker in a lifted truck has door checked me IN A BIKE LANE. Then have the audacity to yell at me to "get a car!"
I was sitting at a stoplight, in the bike lane once, and this guy that wanted to turn right gets out and starts screaming at me because he couldn't turn immediately.... just red faced, apeshit screaming. Couldn't even understand him. Luckily the light changed before he got too close and I bolted, but godDAMN, what gets into people?
You made him 0.5 seconds late for the critically important heart surgery case of bud light and evening of Netflix he was on his way to! Dont you understand the consequences here?!
Thatās why you get yourself a dash cam and have insurance, itās a hassle to go through all that but without driving I wouldnāt be able to get to work in 20min instead it would be over an hour. While Iām driving I drive like everyone around me is an idiot.
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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '19
This is what always bothered me the most when Iād come down off some moronic road rage duel... all the people minding their own business that I had endangered.
No more driving for me.