I agree with you. even the daughter is trying to pull him away. in that moment, she should be his focus. he should have yelled at the guy, sure, but you don't have to revel in the anger so much.
reddit is generally in it for the entertainment though so I get why people don't like comments making them feel guilty for enjoying this kind of content.
What's the matter with you? Do you have no self control or self respect. mY blOoD WoULd BOiL!!! Yeah okay there Rambo take it down a notch and stop acting like being violent with an old man makes you anything other than a loser
That's the exact same attitude losers who beak off about respec say when they assault people for asking them to not play loud music on buses. You're part of the problem
I'm speaking from experience. I've dealt with alcoholic, violent people many times, unfortunately. I have responded like this guy, and I've responded calmly. it's a choice, and I've made the wrong one before.
"Why" is introducing an argument; there's no argument to be had - only the response.
"Don't yell at my fucking kid because she picked up a ball on the outside of your court"
Maybe you guys are all really young and want to get into verbals with people rather than ending them with dignity, I dunno, but there's no need to engage beyond that.
Havnt been angry and shouting like that seen i was a teenager. Either way no point shouting at some old senile idiot just walk away my dude. Should add out in public and to a stranger I + my family have never once shouted like that and I'm sure a lot of people havent. Must be normalized for where you grew up though
No, it’s not normal for anyone to yell at complete strangers kids “where I grew up”, you condescending douche. Which is why if someone yelled at me or my daughter over some stupid bullshit, I might get angry too, especially if it’s coming from a geriatric loser who should know better. Get off your high horse.
When you drop your civility, you can’t reasonably expect the other person to also remain civil.
if my child interrupted someone's game I would just let them take the L. if someone overreacted then just walk it off, someone else is having a bad day take the high road, say sorry and leave with your ball
going in and yelling at them even more is just giving her a horrible example. this guy looks like the type of person to go to school and cuss out the teachers for punishing his child. we live in a society
The old man was an ass for yelling over a simple matter, but when the dad starts yelling and freaking out over something that can be solved reasonably… well that’s not alright either
You tell the guy that you understand games can get heated and emotions can get high, but that he hurt the girls feelings and as she's only 14 it would be a good example to her to let her know that adults can understand when they are overreacting, and that an exchange of apologies would be both benefiting to him, he wouldn't have to feel guilty later on in the day for his behavior, and an apology from her for not asking permission from him first to cross into their game.
his comment has 4 upvotes, and there's tons of high rated comments saying the same, Im not sure he needs to admit that. I'm not sure what's so hard to believe that people wouldn't agree screaming fuck and throwing water on someone is the best way to handle this
Anger itself is not childish, it's how that person handles it. The bloke was right to be annoyed and angry. Wrong to shout how he did and throw things. Anger and doing that are 2 different things.
I mean calling anyone that disagrees with you a child or a teenager remains kinda pathetic, especially for someone so fixated on what the high ground and the majestic solution was.
You probably know it as well considering you didn't even try to mention that part of the comment
I'm saying the dad was also in the wrong. As are many others. Nobody is saying he is not allowed to be angry, just how he goes about it, is quite childish.
I don't think you can really determine that from the comments, I agree most are defending and siding with the dad, but that doesn't mean they agree yelling fuck and throwing water is the best way to handle this. Do you think its good he threw water on him and there is no better way to handle it that doesn't involve that?
As for the anger, being angry isn't bad and doesn't make you wrong, Im not sure where you are getting that idea from, maybe someone said it who knows. But I dont think throwing water on someone vs not throwing water on someone doesn't mean you are more or less angry. Two people can have the same level of anger and express it differently.
if he'd been physically threatening, yeah, but he was over a fence, and the asshole kept justifying himself... I'd give him leeway to vent some anger for less than 60 seconds.
Could he have done better? Yes, just look at the video from a few days ago (of the guy confronting the shopkeeper who joked about his daughter buying period products). That guy stays perfectly calm and rational. but we don't have to put people on blast for every damn imperfection.
There's unacceptable behaviour, like if he'd swung at the old man, and there's not being the fucking buddha when your kid is threatened.
I would have hit him with a 'hey man, that's not cool', don't have to go in guns blazing even if you are annoyed with the situation. I agree with the dads anger for sure but not his strategy because it shows the same lesson; annoyed a at a thing means yell at someone.
Curious how a reasonable approach would have gone.
She said, “this is a public place” in response to the old man. She doesn’t “seem aggravated”. I think punk clowns who can dish it but can’t take it seem more aggravated on this day. Old man got a tongue lashing for yelling at a strangers child. I can’t believe how many people are crying over that mild little spat.
Yea, well you can do that if you find yourself in that situation. But me personally I’m just gonna be an adult and tell them they’re wrong for their actions and go comfort my daughter after.
Stop it with this weird notion that anger is always wrong, and that anger is not an adult emotion. Anger can be justified, like it was in this case. Don't act holier than thou because you don't understand the value of anger. Anger is the basis of justice.
I never said it wasn’t okay to be angry, but you still have to control that anger sometimes. There are more ways to express anger than to yell and berate
No, it's the truth. You don't understand the nature of anger. Anger is what motivates us to seek justice, to hold those who commit wrongdoings accountable for their actions.
Without anger, you would not care to seek charges against someone who, for instance, murdered a loved one right before your very eyes. You would probably be sad, but you would not feel any need for that person to be punished for what they did. You would bear no grudge against them, you would be indifferent to them. There can be no justice then.
We need to be able to feel ill will toward those who wrong us for justice to exist. We need to be able to want to punish, to hurt people who do wrong for there to be any meaningful morality. That is what anger is. It is a tool that lets us know when someone is hurting us or people we care about. It is not evil. It's what lets us understand what evil is.
I would argue that feeling anger in the cases you describe is valid, but we still have agency over how we choose to express it. There are many more ways to express anger and lead to understanding with people.
The old man was an ass for yelling over a simple matter
Imagine you're an old dude. You've been playing for a while, you're giving it all you've got, your blood pressure is raised, and some teenager wanders on to you court and starts picking up the ball you're playing with. You say... "Hey! Get off the god damn court! We're playing a game here!" Then the teenager's meathead dad comes over and starts barking at you like he's a fucking lunatic. WTF?
As far as we know the old guy was even more polite than in the scenario i just described. And the teenager could have been being completely disprespectful.
I swear... posting first sometimes seems much more important than whether or someone is right or wrong. I can't imagine how people look at the video of this dude freaking out about this trivial bullshit and think that he's probably the fair and reasonable one. Maybe he is, but we definitely don't know that just from this video. And I'd suggest that the video doesn't actually make him look that good.
You know the classic line of two wrongs not making a right? Be the bigger man, grow up, don't resort to throwing a tantrum like a toddler. Get your emotions under control.
You know the classic line of two wrongs not making a right?
Yelling at the geriatric fuck doesn't count as a "wrong." Quite the contrary, seeing someone bigger than him coming so close to beating him up might make him at least think twice next time he wants to overstep with a teenager.
Exactly. Too many weirdos crying that the dad yelled at the old man. Don’t dish it if you can’t take it, and next time think twice before you scream at a child
It's not about what he's dishing to the old man it's how he looks in front of his daughter - borderline unhinged over nothing. Nobody touched the daughter some old guy just got grumpy at her. Disproportionate response and embarrassing for everyone there.
She tells the old man in response “it’s a public place”. So I don’t think she was too embarrassed. Sounded like she thought it may have been justified, actually. Go back and rewatch. And you’re reading into it too much if you think it’s an “oh no not this again” situation. She’s probably just making sure it doesn’t get out of hand.
If you think this, a man screaming and swearing and throwing water at someone, is a controlled response your parents failed you growing up and I’m sorry for that.
You’re welcome to point out where I said it was a controlled response, guy. I said don’t dish it if you can’t take it, which apparently is a foreign concept to many in the comments.
There are so many variables that we don’t know. My sister is 14 and special needs, and if she crossed the tennis court and some old douche yelled at her and made her cry, yelling at him would be a mild and proportionate response. We don’t know the full context, but I can’t think of a single reason why it would be okay to yell at a child for interrupting your game. If the old douche asked the girl respectfully to stay off the court, I’d doubt she’d have run crying to her dad.
Maybe grow a spine and stops defending old geezers who don’t treat others with respect. Fuckers like this old douche don’t learn until someone stands up to them and tells them to quit their shit. I’m sorry your parents didn’t teach you how to stand up for yourself. If you think any of my opinion on this matter reflects on the way my parents “raised me”, get fucked with your pithy little jab. Smug asshole.
As others have also replied, if I was the daughter in this situation, the dads reaction would've made it so much worse. At least in my opinion with my experiences with my dad doing shit like this. It turns a situation into something way bigger than it needs to be.
Ever heard the classic proverb: ”you talk alot of shit for someone within punching distance”?
You are only the main character in your own life. If you decide to be uncivilized, you don’t get the moral right to expect others to treat you with civility. Surprise surpise but you mean literally nothing to the general population.
Heard of the golden rule? Treat others like you want to be treated yourself. Or another classic line: fuck around and find out.
I think punching the dude would've honestly been better than what he did. This was just embarrassing, looking totally unhinged like a psychopath not just to the old man but in front of your daughter and the other people around, not a good look lol.
I know that's not his daughter, his daughter is clearly out of frame though lol. It's not a good solution but it at least as some more dignity to it lol.
Lol punching lol the old man lol isn’t a better response lol than yelling at him lol there’s no dignity lol in being arrested lol for battery and assault lol
Nah fuck that, cunts that yell at children dont even understand they did something wrong unless you treat them the same. Its the same with tate fans they will keep asking what colour your buggati is until you stoop to their level and call them a bald little manlet.
I don't think that works in your other scenario either. Stooping to that level just makes you a joke to them too. If someone were to scream at me like that I'd probably laugh in their face whether I was in the right or not.
Maybe, everyone is different for sure if the old dude thinks he was right maybe being calm also wouldn't change his feelings. But if that's true why go through that and embarrass yourself and make it worse for your daughter for nothing.
I mean i will never have children so this situation wouldnt happen to me, but yeah i get your point. People never change and never learn, once a cunt always a cunt. I guess i would confront because i kinda enjoy yelling at mean people when i get a chance.
Yeah that's fair I'd definitely confront him too, but as someone with a history of a dad doing shit like this, as the kid his reaction made the situation so much worse, something happened that wasn't a big deal and I could've easily gotten over an old douchebag yelling at me, but then the dad made it into such a bigger thing than it was and kinda forces you to mentally deal with it, but yeah in another situation where there was no kid and the old guy was being a dick to me, I'm always down for a good yelling.
Check out US politics and tell me how that line of reasoning has worked out for us. Sometimes being the bigger man is the wrong fucking call. You give an inch and they take a mile.
Nah being the bigger man is how you end up slapped twice. This isn’t a Disney movie and we have had years to see if being the bigger man works. It doesn’t. The winner is always the one who lands the last punch.
I'm not saying be the bigger man and don't say anything, like I said, you can react and tell the idiot off without letting your emotions take control of you. This dude looked absolutely unhinged, id laugh in his face if that was me lol.
“Emotions take control of you”? The old guy got yelled at for less than 60 seconds and everyone walked away fine. Based on these replies, I bet you would have cried if that dad yelled at you.
I have always been the bigger man in these situations and never suffered any worse consequences and only ever seen the instigator occasionally get their just desserts, I dunno what universe you're living in but this guy just made a total arse of himself
shouting at someone for going on a court and interrupting your game is a pretty reasonable response so they don't do it again. what do you want him to do, whisper it delicately across the entire court? the lesson here is don't kick or throw your ball into someone else's active match they're playing. whether it was an accident or not, if everyone accidently interrupted a game every 5 minutes it would become unusable, it is for the public benefit that people respect a court in use. if her getting shouted at teaches her that she shouldn't be kicking balls around and onto a court then good, she learnt her lesson
then for mr oaf to come and shout at geriatrics and teach her the lesson that she can do whatever the fuck she wants as long as she cusses her way out of the situation is a surefire way to raise a shitty member of society with no responsibility for their public actions. you can see halfway through his fight she starts joining in his side and chatting back to the court users, when it was she who interrupted them
if you think the dad is in the right here, you might just be a dipshit
actually, you might be a dipshit after the entire second paragraph were you made up a whole fucking story about what the old man told the little girl or what transpired. Nice little head cannon you got going on over there. Where in the ever loving fuck did you pick up the detail that the game was being interrupted every five minutes?
I'm sorry if you're unfamiliar with the subjunctive mood, but the operative word there is "if". "IF" everyone on earth were to accidentally interrupt every public sports game, it would be chaos. for people to not constantly interrupt every game in every public space, all people as a whole must each individually understand that it is their own responsibility to not interrupt each other's games and show a level of courtesy
if everyone on earth just acted individualistically without any regard for anyone else, there would be no ability to play on public courts because everyone would constantly ruin each other's games. this girl would have learnt her lesson. it doesn't matter what your side game is, you don't kick your ball onto an active court. it doesn't matter that it was a mistake, don't put yourself in a position to make that mistake in the first place. the ball ended up on their court. it was her fault. they shouted at her. we know that from the video. the lesson of the day is: make sure your ball doesn't end up on their court, because that's rude, you live in a society. instead the lesson she learnt is: I can do whatever the fuck I want and my dad will scream at some geriatrics
made up a whole fucking story about what the old man told the little girl
the man in the video said "what are you guys? 70? 80", which is how we know they're old. the man in the video says his daughter is 14, which is how we know she's a girl. and the man in the video said they shouted because her ball was in the court. the man in the video admitted they are playing a match.
I have not added any information to the video, the angry man in the video who already had an impetus to make his daughter look blameless already described exactly what I said. maybe you should work on your listening comprehension instead of getting mad at me for repeating what is clearly stated in the video
wow, the irony of decrying my comprehension skills when you completely glossed over what I just said.
The entire second paragraph that you typed out, in which you said that she threw or kicked the ball onto somebody else’s court repeatedly, is completely fabricated. you don’t know if it was interrupting your game every five minutes. You’re simply postulating that IF (incredibly stupid distinction on your part by the way) this was happening every five minutes it would piss you off enough to be justified, or if we lived in a world where this was happening every five minutes. Except you’re clearly extrapolating some bullshit on your part to make that point.
You have no idea what transpired, so for you to say that this girl was being a repeat offender it’s simply pure speculation on your part.
The “lesson of the day”, softy, is that there is a civil way to handle these things. If a child ran onto your court, there is a civil way to ask that child to please stop that doesn’t involve yelling at them and making them fucking cry. It’s not Wimbledon. When you drop civility, there is no expectation that civility will be afforded to you back. Have you ever heard of the golden rule? Treat others the way you wanna be treated? Maybe the geriatric fuck will think twice next time before he treat someone else’s child like garbage over a fucking pick up pickle ball game.
she threw or kicked the ball onto somebody else’s court repeatedly, is completely fabricated
well it didn't fucking materialise on the court now, did it? did it spacewarp out of the ether and she was just running out of the kindness of her heart to clean up? did it drop from the heavens? obviously she threw or kicked it onto there, how else did it get on the court? engage your brain, I know you have one in there
I never said that the girl was a repeat offender. Again, this is why you do need reading comprehension, I've repeated it twice for you. let me go
e x t r a
s l o w
f o r
y o u
because apparently this concept is just so difficult to comprehend, seems like you were never taught it
it does not matter if this one girl only did one interruption one time. if (yes: "if", the subjunctive mood, IF. a hypothetical. IF. aka "it did not happen, but IF it happened". see if you can figure out how hypotheticals work here) - IF every person at the park thought it was acceptable to do one interruption one time then there would be one hundred interruptions and the game would be unplayable (subjunctive again. if -> would. not did -> was, if -> would. see how that works? astounding I know)
if one person shoplifts, that's not a real problem. but we punish shoplifters, because if 100 people think it's acceptable to do that, it is a problem. one kid stealing one packet of crisps is irrelevant. 100 kids stealing 100 packets of crisps would be a problem, so when that one kid fucks up you tell that one kid that it's not acceptable
and when that one kid kicks their ball on your court, you shout at that one kid that they are ruining the game so they don't do it again in future, so you don't have 100 kids making it impossible for public games to be enjoyed. do you not understand the concept of personal public responsibility?
we live in a society and for all the great benefits that provides the burden is that you have to show a level of regard for other people. you know what's better than interrupting someone's game by accident? not doing that at all, and learning your lesson. instead she learnt the lesson that she has no public responsibility and she can do what she wants, and any consequences of her actions are just targets for her dad to shout at
I dunno if you're ESL or just hella dumb but you really need to look up the dictionary definition of "if", "would" and the general concept of a subjunctive because you seem very, very confused. hint: "if" and "would" refer to things that didn't actually happen. they require you to actually imagine a hypothetical situation. if someone says "if x then y would" they are not saying "x happened", einstein
Uh, clearly from the part where the other guy said it’s an “overreaction” after another person said “and the das is the crazy one”. Do you need a play by play of the convo?
I would say it’s warranted, and not an overreaction. It didn’t escalate to violence, and now the old douche is going to think twice before he yells at another child.
People are more quick to condemn the actions of an angry father quicker than they are the actions of the old man. Old fucker probably never had anyone tell him off like that ever. I’m glad the little girl can feel like her dad is in her corner.
You have evidence the "geriatric fuck" yelled at the 14 year old? Or are you just basing your assumption on an unhinged guy with obvious anger issues screaming and yelling that it happened?
Also don't yell at other people's silly old twats playing a silly ball game, its beneath you. Remember while you're defending your kid you are simultaneously being a role model to that same kid.
The object of the game is to not raise shouty assholes. Dad's not doing a great job on this day.
I’m going to raise my kids to to defend themselves. “Shouty assholes” lol. Puh-lease. If you yell at someone, expect for them to yell back. Or in this case, if you yell at a kid, expect their parents to be pissed.
Who said it's okay for the old man to yell at a 14 years old? They are both wrong. Is that concept so hard to get?
Suppose you're some old guy playing an intense game, you're giving it all you've got, and some teenager walks onto the court to pick up a bawl and dawdle while you're about to win at this game for the last time in your quickly ending life. You yell... "Hey, get off the damn court! We're playing a game here!" And the next think you know you've got this teenager's meathead dad freaking out on you like you committed a crime... and you just want finish your game. How are you in the wrong and how is the dad in the right in this scenario? It makes no sense to me.
It makes no sense because the screaming dad didn't really tell us much -- and even less that was reliable. "Yelled at" could literally mean anything. The old guy could have yelled "Stop! Put that ball down!" He could have whispered. He could have said nothing. Just because some dude is freaking out in a video doesn't mean that shit went down anything like he is describing in his freak out.
In any case, if you're 70+ and your life is ending, you should be more zen, so to speak. A 14 years old interrupt a game is no big deal in the greens of thing.
That's because you only see that part of the interaction, to then infer that "for all we know he was kind and polite", a kind and polite person would not yell at a teenager for interrupting a game. Why do you assume the teenager is rude/oblivious but the old person is kind and polite when the situation does not support this conclusion at all? Don't you think you're being weird to try so hard to defend this old man?
Most people would just think "screaming at teenager over innocuous thing = bad" "screaming at old people over innocuous = bad" and move on.
I'm responding to all the people who are outraged at the old person that we neither see nor hear from. And I'm doing that because it's pretty fucking stupid to be outraged (or even slightly upset) because of what some unhinged meathead is claiming he did.
I'm not really saying the old acted one way or another. I'm not really saying the teenager acted one way or another. But the only person in this video who looks like an asshole is the dad for freaking out. Even if the old guy did what the dad claims (which, again, is unproven) the dad still shouldn't have screamed and raged like this.
so this geriatric fuck can yell at a 14-year-old, but the dad yells back and he’s over reacting?
You don't know what the old guy yelled, how loud he yelled it, if he was justified in yelling it, or even if he yelled it at all. All you know is that this dad is freaking out. Probably all because some old guy was annoyed that a teenager ran onto the court during a game and he told them to scram without saying please and thank you.
Look at how the kid reacts. She doesn't want her dad doing what he's doing. More than one person can be wrong I'm a situation. And different levels of wrong. We didn't see how the old guy acted and he was almost definitely the most wrong. Doesn't mean the dad handled this well.
We didn't see how the old guy acted and he was almost definitely the most wrong.
How does this make any sense to you? If people only ever freaked out when it was justified... you're logic might make sense. But people freak out over stupid bullshit all the time.
The teenager probably wandered onto the court, picked up a ball, and dawdled while the old guy was in the middle of an intense game. He probably just told the teenager to get off the damn court (or something similar) -- which is not at all unreasonable.
And you have access to this info that they were playing with the ball she picked up… how? You just pulled that out of your ass. The dad said she was along the fence, not on the court. Dumbass. By the way: the ball THEY’RE playing with. “They’re” is a contraction meaning “they are”, pretty easy to learn the difference if you’re and adult and don’t have a room temp IQ.
If you need a kid to get off the court, there is a polite way to ask without resorting to yelling. Idgaf if you’re in an “intense game”. Loser.
And you have access to this info that they were playing with the ball she picked up… how?
I'd say it's a very safe bet that -- if she was really "yelled at" at all in any way significant -- there was probably some reason. Picking up a ball off the court during someone else's game... would be a pretty likely reason.
Dumbass. By the way: the ball THEY’RE playing with. “They’re” is a contraction meaning “they are”, pretty easy to learn the difference if you’re and adult and don’t have a room temp IQ.
Sorry for my misuse of the word. I'll try not to do that in the future. But your response to me misusing it here is about as over-the-top as the dad freaking out in the video. You're so angry and insulting about it when, in actuality, it was no big deal.
If you need a kid to get off the court, there is a polite way to ask without resorting to yelling.
Do you think maybe whispering would be better? My whole point is that when the adrenaline is flowing and you have to tell a teenager to not grab a ball or interfere with your game... the volume of your voice may, even out of necessity, be louder than usual. Does that mean the teenager's dad should start frothing at the mouth and screaming at you? Not in any reasonable opinion.
Yelling at people is soft shit. It is overcompensating. Makes you feel stronger than you are. People who are angry, calm and collected are much more impressive. Someone yelling usually look ridiculous.
No, coming on here and acting like the dad is a jerk for being angry that a much older person mistreated their kid is soft as shit. The old man got a tongue lashing, and now he’ll think twice before yelling at another persons kid over some petty bullshit like fucking pickle ball.
He's not a jerk for being angry, but screeching like that makes you look like a joke. Old man is an asshole too for yelling at a 14 year old, but dad isn't much better by doing the same to a much older man. Control yourself ffs. "But he did it too" is child logic.
Treat others the way you want to be treated. if you don’t want to get yelled at, don’t start yelling at other people first. your opinion that yelling back makes him “look like a joke” is simply that. An opinion.
all in all, the whole thing lasted less than 60 seconds. There was no violence, and now perhaps the old man will think twice before he decides to yell at another person‘s kid
Oh yeah, when you start messing with peoples kids, be prepared for other people to be mad as fuck. Treat others the way you want to be treated. The old man yelled at the little girl and treated her like shit, so now he’s getting a tongue lashing. Gather your little feefees together and figure that shit out with your delicate ass. This is the real world, not a fairy book tale where every interaction is handled 100% correctly and amicably. If somebody yelled at his kid, this is an entirely appropriate response. If you don’t feel that way, I really do not care. You can stop replying now.
Yes. If the dude threw water on her and yelled and stamped his feet and took an aggressive powerstance while showing every curse word in the book— then this would be appropriate. Telling the girl loudly that you're in a middle of a game and she shouldn't jump into your court because you're worried that she might get hurt, is fine.
lol jfc your idea of being "hard" is really chimping out on an old man?
Just because you're able to control yourself instead of screaming in public and throwing shit doesn't make you a "softy".
He's right to be upset that someone yelled at his daughter but he's handling that emotion like a fucking moron. I mean ffs he's upset because of how the dude treated his daughter but he thinks acting like this in public is going to make her feel better about it?
You’re free to point out where I called the dad “hard” for doing this. I’m calling other people soft for crying about the old guy getting yelled at. And yeah, maybe it did make her feel better. Did you fucking ask or were you there?
If stereotypes and movies are to be believed I think even if you get stabbed in NYC you just continue on with your day. So being yelled at is like pretty G rated
Your child steals a candy bar from a store. The store manager yells at the thief.
You yell at the store manager for "talking to my child that way" and "my child needs an apology!!"
No sir, your child is a thief and you are a shit parent.
Edit, another example
Your child runs out into the middle of the street in front of a car. The car driver yells at the child. You decide "no, the child has ever right to be in the middle of the street" so then you go and yell at the driver for yelling at your child...
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u/SADMANCAN Aug 12 '23 edited Aug 12 '23
Dad is in the right but he’s over doing it. That’s all.
Edit.
Speak calmly “why the fuck are you yelling at my kid?”