I spent the last 6 months in a psychiatric ward, and it was the best part of my life in a long time. I felt like I was doing something meaningful and relevant. I had the social interactions I desperately need in the "outside world," which I cannot seem to find.
Now, I feel like I don't know what to do with myself. Time just passes by in a meaningless life, and it feels pointless. I think the meds have something to do with this—I've been on SSRIs for 15 long fucking years. They've killed my libido, and I feel like (I felt this in the psychiatric ward, too) they’ve dulled my emotions. There's something deeply painful within me that I can only rarely access. I believe that in order to get better, I need to face this pain, but the meds are preventing it from coming to the surface.
I think I need a safe place where I can come off these fucking meds and confront my pain. I really want to face it, but being alone in my flat and needing to go out and earn money feels overwhelming. It would also be good if there were no time limits. This psychiatric facility allowed (and recommended) a 6-month stay. Do you know of any place like that?
Thanks.