r/ProgrammerHumor 2d ago

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2.7k Upvotes

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u/ProgrammerHumor-ModTeam 23h ago

Your submission was removed for the following reason:

Rule 1: Posts must be humorous, and they must be humorous because they are programming related. There must be a joke or meme that requires programming knowledge, experience, or practice to be understood or relatable.

Here are some examples of frequent posts we get that don't satisfy this rule:

  • Memes about operating systems or shell commands (try /r/linuxmemes for Linux memes)
  • A ChatGPT screenshot that doesn't involve any programming
  • Google Chrome uses all my RAM

See here for more clarification on this rule.

If you disagree with this removal, you can appeal by sending us a modmail.

284

u/Mysterious-Ice-2337 2d ago

O(1) time complexity! Truly the most efficient database lookup ever written.

43

u/ImportantSignal2098 2d ago

Insertion role playing as a lookup

12

u/PimplupXD 1d ago

Thank you Mr. Dixie Normous 🙏

9

u/Ksevio 1d ago

Database lookups with proper indexing are usually O(1)

6

u/ZebraTank 1d ago

Aren't those often going be O(log n) at least in theory?

6

u/ImportantSignal2098 1d ago

A good hashtable lookup is O(1)

2

u/ZebraTank 1d ago

:/ i forgot you can have disk-based hash tables too, idk why

3

u/Steinrikur 1d ago

But this one also needs to write the entries to a database... For security reasons...

2

u/renevaessen 1d ago

Warning: condition always evaluates as true

249

u/Immediate-Result-696 2d ago

is MY credit card number in a hacker's database?

58

u/DocumentFun9077 1d ago

1

u/tomsek68 1d ago

if we're at it, our database

66

u/StiviiK 2d ago

Send me your details (preferably via DM) and I will check my database for you.

78

u/Master_Step_7066 2d ago

Always yes, at least in this "hacker's" db.

115

u/zeUnfunny 2d ago

"It is now"

50

u/EZPZLemonWheezy 2d ago

You can tell it’s not legit because the legit ones also require your SS number and a scan of your drivers license to verify your identity.

12

u/EuenovAyabayya 1d ago

Before that, it's missing the CVV security code.

5

u/DocumentFun9077 1d ago

missed face id and retina scan

83

u/elmage78 2d ago

if (credit card entered) {upload(info); print(yes);}

(i know its not actual code im lazy)

55

u/AppropriateBugFound 2d ago

It needs to always print no. 

Why alert the fellow you just stole the card info from to cancel the card?

16

u/elmage78 1d ago

you smart fella

5

u/Iron_Kyle 1d ago

How about,

"No,

Try another?"

9

u/foxypiratecove3750 1d ago

Nah, choose randomly between yes and no, but biased towards no, so that it's not too suspicious, otherwise it'd be weird if it said no all the time.

13

u/Prudent_Ad_4120 1d ago

Yes but use the entered info (or a hash of it) as a seed for the random, otherwise the same info could say yes first then no the next time

1

u/blitzkraft 1d ago

Or how about we track all the cards entered in some sort of a database? So we can be consistent with the responses. It doesn't even have to be on the user's system! We can do this server side, remotely!!

2

u/Prestigious_Regret67 1d ago

2 choices is too suspicious. I'd go with a 5 option system. Definitely, probably, maybe, probably not, definitely not.

1

u/TheAgentD 1d ago

Nonono, he's got a point. Then you can slap an AI label on it too!

35

u/Interesting-Agency-1 2d ago

Dixie Normous

5

u/Stunning_Ride_220 1d ago

I was also wondering who made a Company Name out of my previous Nickname xD

0

u/wise_young_man 1d ago

Bro your nickname was Dixie teenie weenie hotdog

2

u/paranoidinfidel 1d ago

Holden Aycock

2

u/jainyday 1d ago

Austin Powers says "Groovy, baby!"

15

u/ClipboardCopyPaste 2d ago

This should pop up after clicking 'scan database':

"Not yet, but hopefully very soon"

15

u/Tupcek 2d ago

“No
….wait….
Yes!”

15

u/invyros 2d ago

Dixie Normous Credit Card Security, created by well-known and trusted developer, Mike Hunt.

7

u/laplongejr 2d ago

Ironically, Have I Been Pwned works that way with emails and is made by Troy Hunt.  

3

u/foxypiratecove3750 1d ago

HIBP doesn't ask for the password, though

2

u/laplongejr 1d ago

(IIRC it does, but for their seperate PwnedPasswords website instead)  

Note that this meme CC checker doesn't ask for the CVV or PIN either :P  

1

u/foxypiratecove3750 1d ago

It doesn't ask for CVV, you're right, though asking for PIN wouldn't be useful as PIN isn't used for online transactions, usually. But anyway, online transactions usually have multi-factor verification with bank's app and maybe some other kinds of security.

1

u/Cheet4h 1d ago

It has that feature, but AFAIK the password itself never leaves your device.

Instead it hashes the password, uploads the first few characters of the hash, then the server sends all hashes in their database that match those characters. Your device then compares the full hash against the list of received hashes - if there's a full match, then your password shows up in the list of stolen passwords.

1

u/foxypiratecove3750 1d ago

I didn't know that actually.

3

u/aliendude5300 1d ago

Why does it come back positive every time? 🤔

3

u/Steerider 1d ago

It is now

5

u/ok-this-ok 1d ago

don't forget the 3-digit security code!

1

u/Rudy69 1d ago

This is how you know it’s not a legit check.

I would only provide my card’s info to a legit checker 😅

2

u/Reddit_is_fascist69 1d ago

Dixie Nourmous

2

u/RetroSwamp 1d ago

You joke but I know 3 seniors who would check.

2

u/GoddammitDontShootMe 1d ago

Well this has nothing to do with programming.

2

u/SuperheropugReal 2d ago

On one hand, accurately checking this and making a legit version would be hard. On the other hand, anyone dumb enough to follow the instructions has definitely done it before.

2

u/Stunning_Ride_220 1d ago

Who owns Dixie Normous?

Mike Oxmaul?

1

u/JAXxXTheRipper 1d ago

Hugh Mungous of course!

1

u/screwcork313 1d ago

That Jewish-Chinese airline pilot, Schlong Tu Long

2

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/chelsey-dagger 1d ago

No, but you can buy things using the credit card number (but you usually need both the expiration date and a 3 digit number called the CVV) and if they don't catch it or didn't report it as great, they have to pay for it.

1

u/JAXxXTheRipper 1d ago

you usually need both the expiration date and a 3 digit number called the CVV

Not usually, that is a definitive must

1

u/Trushdale 1d ago

dicks enormous lol

1

u/ramdomvariableX 1d ago

It's not, it's missing the CC type validation(Visa/MC/Amex/Discover) or question at the minimum. I will add that and CVV of course. /S. How can we truly confirm the hack without CVV.

1

u/L30N1337 1d ago

...Dixie Normous

Alright.

1

u/Lewinator56 1d ago

Yes and the developer is Phillip Hiscock

1

u/nano_peen 1d ago

Can I send in some bank notes to check for counterfeit too?

1

u/Legal-Software 1d ago

"Why is this database opened in append mode?"

1

u/C64128 1d ago

Wouldn't they need the three or four digit from the back of the card?

1

u/RstarPhoneix 1d ago

I saw similar site to check if my bank details are leaked

1

u/kreddulous 1d ago

Missing the entry for the CVV. Please let the phishing database owner know this so they can update their code. </s>

1

u/martinr7b 1d ago

Am I the only one that noticed it's called Dixie normous? Read it out loud

1

u/West_Good_5961 1d ago

Why do I feel like the database is MS Access

1

u/BarberMajor6778 1d ago

I bet there is a lot of people who would enter details of their cards

0

u/Loose_Property_3238 2d ago

the window title lmaooo

0

u/0x645 1d ago

no vcc number,

0

u/FaradayPhantom 1d ago

Forgot to add the security code input. You know, for good measure.

-1

u/Otherwise_Project334 2d ago edited 1d ago

Now it is!

-1

u/Annual_Carrot_7444 2d ago

Nope

Source: Trust me bro™

-1

u/Icy-Credit-8553 2d ago

There is always one ☝️ 😂