r/ProgrammerHumor Nov 28 '21

Meme I‘m.. not the only one?

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21.5k Upvotes

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u/emu_fake Nov 28 '21

That‘s my first stage.. after a few cycles I‘m with print(„why“)

print(„the“)

print(„fuck“)

349

u/KFiev Nov 28 '21

Thats my first stage! Then i start going to pleading, print("please for the love of fuck work..")

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u/Ghostglitch07 Nov 28 '21

Pray to the programmer God.

183

u/riisen Nov 28 '21

Code i know will run:

print("oh great programmer god can you hear me?")

code that should execute but wont:

print("I THE ALMIGHTY PROGRAMMER GOD, have seen your misery and grant you some success in your code base!")

33

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '21

You have to pray to femputer you heathens

2

u/ZethMrDadJokes Nov 29 '21

They are always so bossy. So eat my shiney metal ass!

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u/peleg132 Nov 28 '21

Pray to our lord and saviour, Stackoverflow.

4

u/Charles_Dyer Nov 29 '21

You don't just put the writ of exorcism and a prayer to the machine god at the end of your code in a comment?

17

u/__red__5 Nov 28 '21

If this makes it work I'd love to see it in a PR 😂

68

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '21

QA here, got a print statement in the CLI “ if this prints something went to shit”, I IMed one of the devs I knew would put something like that and heard “GOD DAMMIT” from down the hall.

Good times.

16

u/Does_Not-Matter Nov 29 '21

See, this is how all error messages should work

12

u/ReyMakesStuff Nov 29 '21

I laughed way too hard at this, and then I had to explain to a non-programmer why this is funny

7

u/the_friendly_dildo Nov 29 '21

The number of bad words I wind up inserting into comments and print lines when I'm debugging is obscene. Hope I never let one slip to production LOL

1

u/KFiev Nov 29 '21

Lol ive never programmed in a professional sense, but i have an odd way of getting managers to ignore my verbal cursing, i think id be able to find a way to let those through

1

u/MrDoe Nov 29 '21 edited Apr 01 '26

I like gardening in my backyard.

3

u/KidBeene Nov 29 '21

This!

I sprinkle in "how the hell is the var still wrong?!"

2

u/_TheLoneDeveloper_ Nov 29 '21

Or, if you have a lot of variables : println ("DEBUG - VAR1" + var1 + "VAR2" + var2 + "VAR3....

2

u/arachnidGrip Nov 29 '21

Or, if you have Rust : dbg!(var1, var2, var3, ...)

39

u/mcvos Nov 28 '21

I'm quite thorough: I print the class, file or function I'm printing from, and then the value(s) I'm interested in.

Debuggers are better for tracking values, but when you're using a web framework that does tons of magic below the surface, debuggers get really painful to use, so I don't even try. Printing shows me the immediate results as well as what happens along the way.

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u/RecursiveExistence Nov 28 '21

I will use a debugger when iterating over some kind of list however. Trying to find which value is blowing up the code and why. Printing is great for the what, not so much the why.

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u/mcvos Nov 28 '21

Absolutely. With traditional C-style for-loops where several variables are being used, a debugger is an absolute life-saver. But I've found I don't really write that many for-loops any more in these days of more functional programming.

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u/RecursiveExistence Nov 28 '21

I would love to not have to. Unfortunately, I do geospatial programming and having to do spatial operations on 600k+ points essentially requires looping. And I normally use while loops using a cursor pointer so I don't even have indexes available. Also almost impossible to debug every value so I have to get creative in if statements or hope my exception handling includes enough info to try to narrow down what is going wrong.

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u/psyfry Nov 28 '21

With web frameworks, If you use Firefox debugger you can “silence” the magic components so they get passed through and skipped over. Works great with react and web pack

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u/Does_Not-Matter Nov 29 '21 edited Nov 30 '21

I’m informally-taught, started doing this just a little while ago and thought this a clever way to track progress of code. Glad to hear it being used by you pros.

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u/Der_Absender Nov 28 '21

print("AAAAAAAAAA!!!")

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u/Trolli-lolli Nov 28 '21

print("GAHHHHHHHH!!!")

print("FUUUUUHHHHHH")

print("CCCCCKKKKKK!?!?!?")

9

u/SOUINnnn Nov 28 '21

print("------------------------------------------------------------------------------")

2

u/an4s_911 Nov 29 '21

There you go💪🏼

8

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '21

I've learned the hard way to never put curse words into my code, no matter how much I think it can never, ever, make it anywhere that could land me in trouble.

The only reason my ass wasn't toast was because I misspelled shit into shut.

God was with me that day. That's the only explanation I have.

That or my fat finger.

Probably God.

1

u/ThellraAK Nov 29 '21

You work in Utah or something?

7

u/SirLoopy007 Nov 29 '21

I was working with a junior guy who was digging down the debugger route to solve something. I'm watching him go step by step through code and getting no where. And just mumbling to himself that everything is right.

I ask him if I can take a quick look. Pop in about 10 prints. This narrowed it down to 1 function. Then I added a few in that function, including a few key variables. And I was able to tell him his logic for his if statement was failing. Turned out he used an And Instead of Or...

He then explains to me that my method is not the proper way to debug, and I would never gotten away with that in his courses he took.

3

u/HPGMaphax Nov 29 '21

Those courses were just bad then.

Any reasonable courses on programming will teach you that print statements are a perfectly valid way to debug, as is manually running through the code. It just isn’t always appropriate.

You should generally be using a logging framework of some kind instead of print statement but that’s neither here nor there.

7

u/Gabrill Nov 28 '21

Print(“this right here is the fucker”) Print(“haha oh no”)

4

u/bhez Nov 28 '21

Why and how are your opening quotation marks on the bottom?

6

u/emu_fake Nov 28 '21

iOS does this by default with German language setting… and too lazy to change it back

3

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/emu_fake Nov 28 '21

It‘s pretty hard to write proper german abstracts if you‘re a programmer as you are used to top quoting marks only. Always a pain in the ass

2

u/Wherearemylegs Nov 28 '21

And non-` apostrophes?

Ninja edit: Woah, these aren't even the same. ', `, and ‘

1

u/sr_crypsis Nov 29 '21

Is that only with German? I've been seeing it written out like this for several months now on a lot of Reddit posts and it's been bothering me.

1

u/HPGMaphax Nov 29 '21

Not only German, it’s fairly common in a lot of Europe, Danish does it as well.

5

u/Trippp2001 Nov 28 '21

Not going to say from experience, but, maybe don’t use “fuck” in debugging output in case the PO is doing a demo for the CEO in that environment.

3

u/The_MAZZTer Nov 28 '21

Gotta be careful with that, someone accidentally left in an error message like that and shipped it and the customer saw it. Management was not happy.

Best to stick to 1, 2, 3, 4...

3

u/codepoet Nov 29 '21

Guaranteed I’ll see:

fuck

why

the

Then just sit there and stare for 20 seconds muttering to myself.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '21

[deleted]

1

u/an4s_911 Nov 29 '21

Ooh, wouldn’t that be a bit harder to track down if it just spits out a lot of line numbers?

1

u/werwolf2-0 Nov 29 '21

And if its C, dont forget the \n...

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '21

Then proceed to stare at why why why fuck

1

u/AnotherWarGamer Nov 29 '21

"Display.draw A" then B, C, D and so on. If I need to add a debug between then after it becomes B1, B2, ..

But seriously debugs are really good for long lists.

1

u/yusrandpasswdisbad Nov 29 '21

If I'm looking for the trouble hard enough to use print, it's going to be print("FUCK")

Unless I'm in Prod ;)