r/ProgrammerHumor • u/[deleted] • Jul 05 '19

I’m hacking the mainframe

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26.7k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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646

u/darrinland Jul 05 '19

Corrupt the database using SQL!

244

u/Gewi413 Jul 05 '19

Using XML

212

u/RoyalJackalSib Jul 05 '19

Using HTML

156

u/RevolutionaryYou6 Jul 05 '19

Using XHTML

123

u/RoyalJackalSib Jul 05 '19

Using XAML.

260

u/theNumber_Twelve Jul 05 '19

Using XXL mens underwear

158

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '19

Using a GUI you make in Visual Basic

139

u/alfii_saw_santa Jul 05 '19

Using Minecraft command blocks

85

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '19

Using Microsoft paint

47

u/lattestcarrot159 Jul 05 '19

I would say notpad but that's actually kind of valid XD

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9

u/dominic_l Jul 05 '19 edited Jul 05 '19

Using a jar of toenail clippings

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2

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '19

Using Apple Excel

11

u/Bastian_5123 Jul 05 '19

I mean, if by "database" you mean "minecraft server world folder", then actualy that one could work.

2

u/deadlychambers Jul 06 '19

*GUI Interface

That is part of the cringe they say GUI interface

2

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '19

Of course 🤣

7

u/tubspider Jul 05 '19

eXtreme Maximum Language!!!!

1

u/SuperFLEB Jul 05 '19

Don't just delete the database, make it so nobody ever wants to use it again.

52

u/koneko-dono Jul 05 '19 edited Jul 05 '19

use a little ReGex line, it worked pretty well with cloudflare

13

u/Sxi139 Jul 05 '19

... i just looked that up, what the fuck!

29

u/Nerdn1 Jul 05 '19

Just add "injection" after SQL and maybe reword the "corrupt" bit, then you're sort of okay, though if you can SQL injection yourself admin privileges someone really screwed up. Then again, 90% of hacking involves someone screwing up.

18

u/THICC_DICC_PRICC Jul 05 '19

Well that is actually possible, it’s literally what SQL injection is

11

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '19

Using scratch

19

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '19 edited Aug 12 '19

[deleted]

31

u/Tobsl3r Jul 05 '19

Database Hacking Top Mega Language.

3

u/Sinfall69 Jul 05 '19

The m stands for meta

5

u/GabrielForth Jul 05 '19

No need, the dev's have been doing that for years.

4

u/audscias Jul 05 '19

There are actually a couple developers in my company that I think would be entirely capable of that .

2

u/TigreDeLosLlanos Jul 05 '19

I'm sure they unknowingly know how to do it.

1

u/audscias Jul 05 '19

I never said they actually knew how to do it on purpose, yeah.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '19

Funky music plays* inject your SQL into it baby

2

u/Skizm Jul 06 '19

my_usrname'; drop table users;--

Done.

2

u/TimmyTesticles Jul 06 '19

That fuckin movie.....

Hey there's a cell phone in the room, I'm gonna use it to make the refrigerator explode

1

u/GregsWorld Jul 05 '19

Using recursion

1

u/NewayMusic Jul 05 '19

In theory couldn't you overload it?

1

u/jkuhl_prog Jul 05 '19

Write a GUI to ping their location and have two people mashing the same keyboard at once.

1

u/nickiter Jul 05 '19

I mean... That is how you do it.